When you meet someone who doesn't read...

"Goodbye."

A surprising number of people don't.

But, maybe they "read" in a different way. There are a lot of ways to learn in life.

I just feel sorry for them and say something like, "Oh, that's too bad." and fall silent. If I'm stuck with them for a while I change the subject, and TV is usually a good place to start, like, "Oh, have you seen Ninja Warrior?" My brother didn't read for the longest time (though he reads more than I do now! ^_^) and quite a few of my friends back in high school really didn't read either, so I'm pretty used to it. One of my good friends now doesn't read all that much anymore. Now, this does bother me, but that's only because she's trying to write a book and I just want to smack her sometimes, but at least she used to read and she has the worn out books to prove it.

How do you respond to someone saying they don't watch TV, or movies? Who doesn't collect stamps or go fishing?

Some people don't like to read. I don't own a television set, and some people might find that weird.

Writers who hate reading are a different matter. That, I find odd.

I confess that I wonder if they are insane louts and question their existence.

I cannot fathom someone not liking to read. I am trying not to be such a book snob. For example, I watch GOT with my brother. He doesn't read at all. I get very irritated with his one thousand questions as I have all the books in my collection.

I think " You silly child, do you see those books over there? Go forth and read,lout." But as alleycat said, we learn in different ways and have different things we enjoy.

A lot of people don't read because they were never properly taught to. My nephew was stuck at first grade level until he spent a year with us (fourth grade). He couldn't read because he'd been "taught" some kind of word recognition thing - I spent two weeks teaching him phonetic reading and he became a voracious reader. Others have learning disabilities that make reading very difficult if not impossible. Still others just developed different interests. I don't look down on folks who don't read; because I do doesn't make me better than them - just different from them.

Just back away slowly, smiling in a vague manner.

When I was a kid, some family members held a garage sale and invited a bunch of people in the family to come sell stuff. Some of my family tend toward having a lot of books, and thus we'd set up some bookshelves on the porch (in case of rain - most other stuff was out in the open because it was ok to be rained on or easier to move quickly) filled with books for sale, all nicely segregated by category and such.

A group of four adults and two kids (I can still picture these people and they seemed small kids, their parents and a set of grandparents) were shopping and had chosen some items. One of the adults asked if there was other stuff and more kid stuff and one of my relatives replied, 'oh, we've got a bunch of books over there; there are kids' books and a lot of mysteries and...' and was cut off when the middle-aged man said, completely scornfully, as if it'd been suggested they go play in poo, 'we don't read.' The grandparents both scoffed/laughed and shook their heads disdainfully, like they couldn't believe we'd suggest such a pathetic thing.

They put the stuff they'd been carrying down on the table in front of them and walked off shaking their heads.

We spent most of the rest of the weekend making up fanciful stories about them. They remain a family joke to this day. "We don't read."


*Before this is taken the wrong way, plenty of people weren't interested in the books, or said they weren't interested in the books. No big deal. It was treating it as if suggesting reading was akin to 'oh, our fetish porn-making props are over there.' Not that there's anything wrong with that either, among consenting adults - you know what I mean!

In general, I think it's weird, but in the same way I don't get people who hate other stuff that I decidedly don't.

I once worked in marketing and one of the first things they teach is 'people don't read' or 'people don't like to read'. The less text and the more white space, the better.

If people don't like to read, that's their prerogative. I don't always assume they're ignorant.

I've met people who find it hard to absorb information via text and even though they don't have vision problems or anything, they simply prefer either audiobooks, lectures, Ted talks, podcasts, etc. It takes less effort for them to learn that way.

Me, I'm the opposite - I can rarely listen to much of anything for more than a minute before my mind begins wandering - it takes a lot more effort for me to pay attention to anything strictly auditory. For some people, it's non-verbal imagery that works for them. Even with documentaries, I'd prefer just something I can read instead. It's just how I process information. Others process things differently.

Now if it's because they're proud of being uneducated or ignorant ...

Or writers who claim they don't read ...

I wouldn't drop them because they don't read. I would drop them because they are a rude idiot.

Most people I know don't read, and the majority of them cite "not enough time" as the reason. I think that's probably fair enough -- they have families and jobs and what have you. I know that I have to choose between reading and other things, which is most of the reason I still haven't seen Breaking Bad.

That doesn't mean that I don't quietly judge them, though

butterfly said:

I have nothing against people that don't read, write, collect stamps, watch or don't watch tv, or anything else.

This particular person said they felt that reading was a sign of laziness and the characteristic of a very boring person with no life.

That was a new one on me.

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Okay. This is forty different kinds OF WRONG to me. To me, reading is a sign of a person with an education who is interested in learning about other aspects of life around them and/or is entertained in different ways.

When I'm snowboarding with people, I don't care if they read or not. If I'm with people at dinner or something, it might make a difference to the topics of conversation. Does your friend mean "read for enjoyment"? I have a friend who reads the newspaper front to back, but hasn't read an actual fiction book in perhaps decades.

butterfly said:

I have nothing against people that don't read, write, collect stamps, watch or don't watch tv, or anything else.

This particular person said they felt that reading was a sign of laziness and the characteristic of a very boring person with no life.

That was a new one on me.

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Oh. That's different. I think if someone said that to me, the part about laziness and boring with no life, I would probably laugh so hard it would be impossible for me to talk for a few minutes.

There are, as mentioned by several others, many reasons not to read. Most of them are a heck of a lot more legitimate that that one.

butterfly said:

This particular person said they felt that reading was a sign of laziness and the characteristic of a very boring person with no life.

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Snobbery is the public face of insecurity. They don't understand it, and their ego is happier with the narrative, "I'm superior to others," than it is with the narrative, "I can't grasp this thing lots of other people grasp."

butterfly said:

...

This particular person said they felt that reading was a sign of laziness and the characteristic of a very boring person with no life.

...

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Good heavens. Though I admit I do sometimes think that about people who can list the plots and characters of nearly every television program currently running

Consider yourself lucky. Very. Very. LUCKY !

Nearly everyone I know wants nothing to do with reading. Maybe it is a guy thing, if you'll pardon the sexism. Girls I know do read. Not much, but some. Romances mostly. Guys on the other hand are honestly aghast. It must be really nice knowing people IRL who are into books. Wow. That would be this side of awesome

Not to say hatred of books is a deal breaker when it comes to friendships. I sorta have long accepted that books just aren't in and are, "for losers with no life."

Yeah ! :-(

mirandashell said:

I wouldn't drop them because they don't read. I would drop them because they are a rude idiot.

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I'm not entirely sure how you get rude idiot from not reading.

I get 'rude idiot' from Butterfly's clarification, that the other person thought reading was a useless activity.

On a good day, I would have quietly excused myself from that person's company as soon as possible. On a bad day, I might suggest they had no use for one of the driving forces of human civilization, and that I saw no use for them other than an effective carbon sequestration device.

It doesn't bother me. I mean, I don't get it, but there's lots of things I don't get.

I do find it a tiny bit rude when that comment is pointed at me shortly after I've said that I'm a writer.

Angry Guy said:

I have a friend who reads the newspaper front to back, but hasn't read an actual fiction book in perhaps decades.

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My husband has only read four novels in twenty years. Three of them were mine.

He reads non-fiction sometimes, but is more into music and tinkering with gadgetry to pass his time.

Oddly, he's the greatest first-line editor ever and a tireless supporter of my work, so I cut him some slack.

My best mate doesn't read, but he spends all his time listening to music and DJing. Different strokes for different folks.