My novel has been beta'd, polished, even professionally read. But I'm getting some agent feedback that they aren't involved ("engaged") with my MC in the early chapters. I'm blind to this (hey, I love my character), and am not really sure how to fix it, or if it's simply the wrong agents so far. Typical comment:
"There’s a mystery here, but no real empathy."
Would love a few people to take a look at say, the 1st ten chapters, like a normal reader, and give feedback on involvement, clarity, and interest. Maybe read until you get bored, then state why you stopped.
Of course all comments at all levels are gratefully accepted, but the early character connection is what I'm really worried about.
I can do some light critiquing in return, but at this point, can't do a full novel evaluation. Maybe a few chapters in detail, or more at a higher level. I read anything, but need betas who would might enjoy suspense novels with the plot described below:
"A Hong Kong woman's traumatic past returns when a woman resembling a forgotten sister is murdered in front of her. Driven by her failure, she faces her worst nightmares in tracking down the prostitution ring responsible. When she discovers a conspiracy to influence U.S. Senators, she's marked for death, and must travel to America to outwit a secretive organization manipulating men around the world. But to give young women a future, she has to give up all chance of learning her past."
"There’s a mystery here, but no real empathy."
Would love a few people to take a look at say, the 1st ten chapters, like a normal reader, and give feedback on involvement, clarity, and interest. Maybe read until you get bored, then state why you stopped.
Of course all comments at all levels are gratefully accepted, but the early character connection is what I'm really worried about.
I can do some light critiquing in return, but at this point, can't do a full novel evaluation. Maybe a few chapters in detail, or more at a higher level. I read anything, but need betas who would might enjoy suspense novels with the plot described below:
"A Hong Kong woman's traumatic past returns when a woman resembling a forgotten sister is murdered in front of her. Driven by her failure, she faces her worst nightmares in tracking down the prostitution ring responsible. When she discovers a conspiracy to influence U.S. Senators, she's marked for death, and must travel to America to outwit a secretive organization manipulating men around the world. But to give young women a future, she has to give up all chance of learning her past."
