Your best break up story ever

Kathl33n said:

I am recently separated from my husband of 15 years. During an argument, he blurted out that he had a girlfriend who he'd met online playing a video game. She was transferring her job within the same company to one in our town in a couple of weeks, and she's 15 years younger than we are. He told me he wanted to move our kids into one room (we have two children) and he wanted her to have the other kid's bedroom so she'd have a place to stay until he could find her an apartment.

So, what's your best breakup story?

They do say "real life" is stranger than fiction (I suppose because fiction needs to make sense). This could make for some great story ideas, LOL.

This happened to me a few months ago, so the wounds are healing and I would love to share with others of you who are past the pain.

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Not to interrupt what's sure to be an awesome thread; I'm just curious as to what you did with his body. Yard, creek, woodchipper...?

I don't know about best, but how 'bout worst? When I was in my early 20's, new in a strange town, I met a girl in where else, a bookstore. We began dating and what can I say, the sex was intoxicating, addicting. Bad in the best possible way. And she got pregnant. In my naive, always do-the-right-thing, the stand-up thing, at the time I offered to marry her and she accepted. And that's when things started going downhill.

We fought constantly. At the slightest provocation she'd threaten to leave me (we were cohabiting by this time, and had she not been carrying my child I would have held the door for her. She used her pregnancy as leverage and held me hostage. Became combative to an almost laughable extent (she knew I'd grown up without much contact with my father in my early years and was determined that not happen to my kid.

Long story short-- one night I came home and found that she was gone, along with all her stuff. I called her sister, the only number I had for any of her family members, and she insisted that she didn't know where she was. I scoured every restaurant, bar, market, bookstore, that I knew her to frequent, but nothing; until a month or so later when I got a call from said sister to tell me that she had miscarried. A few weeks earlier, I'd got news that my father had died and had just gotten back into town from his funeral. It wasn't the best time in my life.

I didn't trust that she'd miscarried and suspected she'd aborted our child to the extent that I dropped in on her doctor and in a conversational way got confirmation that she had indeed miscarried.

It wasn't long before the phone calls started from my ex. Soon followed by her dropping in to say hello. It was funny how all over me she was as soon as she knew that now that she wasn't carrying my child she had no hold on me. More than that, by her disappearing like that with no care for the panic that caused in me, exposed her as the truly mean person that she was. My, how she'd come to see the error of her ways. She all of a sudden appreciated my virtues and my flaws, seen in perspective, were of no consequence whatsoever. Maybe out of morbid curiosity I do admit to weakening once. But astonishingly, she had lost her charms.

Wow. I'm not over the OP.

I broke up an engagement with a chain-smoking, alcoholic, jerk (who was actually perfectly pleasant 85% of waking hours) who couldn't be left alone for ten minutes because he would cheat on me.

After everything, everything, he clipped his nails at a bar, against my hissing, whispered protests. When the paring from his ring finger snapped off and arced over the bar into the ice bin, I was all done. I said, "Yep. That'll just about do it."

And that was that.

Kathl33n said:

I am recently separated from my husband of 15 years. During an argument, he blurted out that he had a girlfriend who he'd met online playing a video game. She was transferring her job within the same company to one in our town in a couple of weeks, and she's 15 years younger than we are. He told me he wanted to move our kids into one room (we have two children) and he wanted her to have the other kid's bedroom so she'd have a place to stay until he could find her an apartment.

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Yikes! Mine pale in comparison.

There was the guy who I kept breaking up with who would beg me to get back together with him. I accept my fault in this whole thing -- I should've just said no. But there were leftover feelings and so each time I'd end things, he'd call me and beg me and say he loved me and if there were any feelings left I should stay with him, and I would start to doubt my decision and get back together with him even though things were really, really not going well. He was possessive and extremely jealous and dismissive of me -- one of his first questions was, "What's the point of writing fiction anyway? Isn't reading fiction useless?" (Why that red flag didn't tip me off, I don't know.)

Then one morning I woke up to a Facebook message titled 10 Reasons Why I Deserve Better Than You

I mean, the individual things kinda sucked to hear, like: You have no ambition. You are an English major. I'm going to law school. I want somebody who actually has a real career in mind and is going somewhere in life, unlike you. (Side note: he never did go to law school, but he is a police officer now!)

But mostly I was like, uh, okay. At least I don't have to feel guilty about being the one ending things. I'm glad that he is able to move on and I'll no longer have the chance to be stupid.

And then about 7 months later, I was dating somebody else and found out I was pregnant. Posted on my Facebook that I was newly pregnant, that me and the father (whom I named by name) were very happy, etc.

The ex calls me. I, in my naivety, think it's to congratulate me. Instead he's checking if the baby is his. I didn't realize this at first because his way of asking was saying, "Am I good?" over and over, and it slowly dawned on me what he was asking. I didn't understand how he would find out I was pregnant without also finding out that I was barely pregnant and who the father was. So as I slowly understood this and explained to him that no, I was eight weeks pregnant and I hadn't seen him for six months therefore it was impossible, he just kept asking, "Am I good?" until I finally said the words: "You are not the father." (Getting all Maury up in here!)

He hung up and I was just confused. We had no mutual friends, lived in different states, etc. He had to find out on Facebook, where it was clear he was "good" -- yet he called me anyway? Why?

That soon became clear as I received text after text insulting me and telling me I'll be a terrible mother. All he wanted was to try to hurt me. Lucky for me it didn't work. Aaaand we haven't spoken since.

pannwright said:

Yikes! Mine pale in comparison.


I mean, the individual things kinda sucked to hear, like: You have no ambition. You are an English major. I'm going to law school. I want somebody who actually has a real career in mind and is going somewhere in life, unlike you. (Side note: he never did go to law school, but he is a police officer now!)

.

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I'll never understand people who think this way, though I know someone who thinks just this way. If marriage is only a business arrangement, how can it be expected to survive when the inevitable bad times come?

cornflake said:

Not to interrupt what's sure to be an awesome thread; I'm just curious as to what you did with his body. Yard, creek, woodchipper...?

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*swallows the one remaining finger*

*looks innocent*

Hrmm, best break up story I have pales to the OP...

I broke up with a guy over dinner. (Over oh so many reasons, one of which was him repeatedly telling me I should go for a jog because "You don't want to look like your passport picture again, do you?") He got upset and his breathing became somewhat wheezy, so he asked if I could accompany him back. We got the cheque and went back to his dorm room, where he begged me not to leave just yet. So I stayed and looked at him like a useless blob. When his breathing did not improve, I called for an ambulance and went to the hospital with him. Turned out he was having an asthma attack.

Someone asked him what triggered it and he looked at me and said, "Being dumped."

I spent the next few hours getting dirty looks from everyone in the hospital. Wurrrrrr.

Kathl33n said:

I am recently separated from my husband of 15 years. During an argument, he blurted out that he had a girlfriend who he'd met online playing a video game. She was transferring her job within the same company to one in our town in a couple of weeks, and she's 15 years younger than we are. He told me he wanted to move our kids into one room (we have two children) and he wanted her to have the other kid's bedroom so she'd have a place to stay until he could find her an apartment.

So, what's your best breakup story?

They do say "real life" is stranger than fiction (I suppose because fiction needs to make sense). This could make for some great story ideas, LOL.

This happened to me a few months ago, so the wounds are healing and I would love to share with others of you who are past the pain.

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I have a plumber here, so there's a bit of confusion and I'd missed the part about him wanting to move her into your house.

That's is incredibly rough. Hang in there.

bookmaker said:

I'll never understand people who think this way, though I know someone who thinks just this way. If marriage is only a business arrangement, how can it be expected to survive when the inevitable bad times come?

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In an overarching, general sense, I get it - and I don't think it's a business arrangement thing. If one person is the really driven, high-achieving, workaholic type, who wants to go to law school while doing their pediatric residency or whatever, that person might not be compatible with someone who really prefers a retail job because there's little engagement required, and the person just wants to work 8 hours and go home and chill.

Those people might be a perfect match, but in a general sense, same as someone whose goals are focused on retiring as soon as possible to a small cabin in the woods marrying someone who wants to work until they're 90 and live in a high-rise penthouse, it's less likely.

That's also not, god knows, a 'better than you,' thing on either side; it's just about people with differing outlooks, priorities, lifestyles, etc.

In the specific 'I deserve better than you - you have no ambition because your major is less prestigious than mine,' case, it's just ridiculous, I agree.

Damn. I'd never date a gamer, my friends have all had terrible experiences with them. I hope you trashed his computer OP.

My first high school boyfriend was cutie but a total insecure wuss. He had one of his friends--a bitchy girl I couldn't stand--set up a test for me and if I failed it, break up with me for him. He wasn't the smartest kid because...

After class, the girl waved me over in the hallway and asked, "if I were --insert my ex-bf's name--, would you kiss me, right now, here by your locker?" Well, I didn't hear the first part and thought she was hitting on me. So I stumbled back, horrified, and told her "Eww, no thanks." And she told I just got dumped. I was so confused.

But it was such a wuss move, I was over him by lunch.

Kathl33n said:

No, I didn't kill him. LOL. I'm a stay at home mom right now, so I need him. Although, I'm job hunting like mad (and when I find the job, I might just reconsider - ha ha, just kidding).

Thanks for the support, guys. Much appreciated. And thanks for sharing your stories.

I'm tempted to start a new thread on how you got back out there again. I thought I was done with dating forever. Using an online dating service does not sound all that appealing and I don't really like the bar scene all that much.

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A lesson on the importance of keeping a big life insurance policy on one's spouse, I suppose.

cornflake said:

In an overarching, general sense, I get it - and I don't think it's a business arrangement thing. If one person is the really driven, high-achieving, workaholic type, who wants to go to law school while doing their pediatric residency or whatever, that person might not be compatible with someone who really prefers a retail job because there's little engagement required, and the person just wants to work 8 hours and go home and chill.

Those people might be a perfect match, but in a general sense, same as someone whose goals are focused on retiring as soon as possible to a small cabin in the woods marrying someone who wants to work until they're 90 and live in a high-rise penthouse, it's less likely.

That's also not, god knows, a 'better than you,' thing on either side; it's just about people with differing outlooks, priorities, lifestyles, etc.

In the specific 'I deserve better than you - you have no ambition because your major is less prestigious than mine,' case, it's just ridiculous, I agree.

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So what if you fall in love? Or are you saying that it might not be wise to even date someone whose goals are so different from yours?

Kathl33n said:

No, I didn't kill him. LOL. I'm a stay at home mom right now, so I need him. Although, I'm job hunting like mad (and when I find the job, I might just reconsider - ha ha, just kidding).

Thanks for the support, guys. Much appreciated. And thanks for sharing your stories.

I'm tempted to start a new thread on how you got back out there again. I thought I was done with dating forever. Using an online dating service does not sound all that appealing and I don't really like the bar scene all that much.

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The only thing that's ever worked for me is replacing that person with someone new. Sometimes more easily said than done of course.

Yeah, and your thread made me think that we're all seeing these break ups from our perspectives. A thread where we all confess the times when we were the villains might be good, too. I'm sure we've all been there.

shahrazad said:

Damn. I'd never date a gamer, my friends have all had terrible experiences with them. I hope you trashed his computer OP.

My first high school boyfriend was cutie but a total insecure wuss. He had one of his friends--a bitchy girl I couldn't stand--set up a test for me and if I failed it, break up with me for him. He wasn't the smartest kid because...

After class, the girl waved me over in the hallway and asked, "if I were --insert my ex-bf's name--, would you kiss me, right now, here by your locker?" Well, I didn't hear the first part and thought she was hitting on me. So I stumbled back, horrified, and told her "Eww, no thanks." And she told I just got dumped. I was so confused.

But it was such a wuss move, I was over him by lunch.

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I had one high school boyfriend 'test' me, but it was even screwier. He called me, pretending to be someone else. 'He' put on this completely fake English accent, said he'd met me once through the one person we knew in common and had gotten his phone number from him.
This 'one person in common' was one of my brother's best friends and I knew with 100% confidence that he'd never give my number out to anyone, I'd never met anyone English through him and on top of that, I could recognise his bloody voice!

Needless to say, I was seeing someone else within a few weeks ...

I have lived a long time and have a notebook of break up stories. This is one of the best and it has a happy ending:

A college friend's cousin was engaged to a classmate her Junior year of high school. Their senior year his parents helped him to buy an old farmhouse and they began remodeling it. Every weekend was spent taking down wallpaper, re-hanging windows, etc. The wedding was set for two weeks after graduation. There were some great parties going on--they lived on the Mississippi River and there was one houseboat party that she really wanted to go to but he insisted she steam and peel wallpaper in the kitchen. She was furious. She stormed off to do some soul searching, decided that she was a selfish, immature brat and drove back back to steam the wallpaper after all.

She walked into a steamy scene but it wasn't wallpaper that her husband to be was steaming. It was her bridesmaid! They were in the bedroom, in a position beyond compromising. They didn't even hear her walk in. Instead of anger the bride to be felt a huge wave of relief. The house, the future in laws and the guy had been controlling her life since she was 16. All of her friends were celebrating graduation, going to college, leaving their small town for new lives and she was refinishing cabinets!

She left the ring on the kitchen counter, went to the party and never looked back. Her mother informed the groom's mother of the change in plans--gladly! --s6

One of my favorite ever was the breakup of an extremely volatile couple who were friends of my sister's. Intoxicants and a huge fight were the order of most weekends, but after one particularly ugly Saturday night --- in the bone-cracking cold and ankle-deep snow of January --- the guy had seen and heard enough. While his angelic banshee was sleeping it off, he stole all of her left shoes and absconded, never to be heard from again.

All of them. Every last one. She didn't have so much as a pair of flip flops or slippers or galoshes.

She cries with laughter ever time she tells that story. And it is kind of brilliant, you have to admit.

A funny one from when I was a kid, maybe 12 or 13. I had a girlfriend who went to a different school than I did and one day she asked me what she should do so I wouldn't get mad at her. I said, I donno, don't cheat on me. Heard not much later that on the way home from her school's basketball game she was spotted necking in the back of the bus with one of the star players who happened to live on my block and was a good friend of mine. When I confronted my girlfriend about it she explained, "Oh no, you don't understand. I broke up with you but didn't tell you 'cause I haven't seen you. But I don't like Richie anymore so, you want to get back together?"

bookmaker said:

Yeah, and your thread made me think that we're all seeing these break ups from our perspectives. A thread where we all confess the times when we were the villains might be good, too. I'm sure we've all been there.

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I do often wonder how the same story would sound if the other person told it.

Perks said:

I do often wonder how the same story would sound if the other person told it.

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It's a little frightening.

Wow, Kathl33n, I'm so sorry! *big hug* Sheesh... I wish I could do something to help you. Hang in there. You are strong, and worth more!

I've only been broken up with once, but it was a doozy. It was back in high school. I had lost my best friend to suicide.... and about 4 months later my other friends boyfriend threatened to kill himself. I found out at 2 in the morning, when she frantically knocked on my window. Apparently he was waiting to see if I'd show up.

In all my pain from losing my best friend, I snuck out the window to see if I could save her boyfriend. Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! It was a hair raising night filled with drama. At one point I dragged myself into the grocery store to use their phone to call my boyfriend for help.

He was one of the most popular guys in the school. Why he dated me, I don't know. But he dumped me over the phone, telling me I had too much drama in my life.

(which, at that time, I did.) I was crushed. And it only got worse for me, because, although her boyfriend did not kill himself, I was kicked out of the house for sneaking out.

Ahhhh, it's not easy even typing that story out. Hard times, but they were the beginning of the best times.


Btw, the reason why I call myself dumb here, is because in my teenage logic I thought I could save him. He was older than me, and I didn't realize he was interested in dating me, and using my past pain to get me to try to rescue him.

My first boyfriend dumped me on Valentine's Day, if you can believe it. We were sixteen. Early in the day, he stopped by my apartment with a rose and a necklace, saying that he'd be back at 5:30 to pick me up for a party.

5:30 came. 5:30 went. So did 6:30. At about 7:00, he showed up to break up with me. He'd met another girl at the carwash while he was sprucing up his ride for our big Valentine's date and decided to take her instead.

Nice. Real nice.

Years later, he sent me letters from Juvenile Detention telling ,me how sorry he was for having been such a rotten little shit.

Sunshine, I don't think that was dumb. How were you to know? But I think it stinks that you got thrown out of the house over it.

Perks, will you be mad at me if I tell you that made me laugh? I'm sure at the time it hurt. But it's just so typical of teenage boys.

bookmaker said:

Perks, will you be mad at me if I tell you that made me laugh? I'm sure at the time it hurt. But it's just so typical of teenage boys.

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Not at all. I mean, I just won't go back in time to tell sixteen year old Perks that it will be funny some day.

The very best revenge is that they all wanted me back at some point.