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View Full Version : strangest thing you've seen written on a bathroom wall?



General Joy
06-05-2014, 07:08 PM
The thread topic pretty much says it all. Anyone remember something really odd? Something besides the usual call-so-and-so-at-this-number. Or, if anyone feels like doing a little homework assignment, take a look for me on the walls the next time you use a public bathroom. :-)

Thanks!

Bufty
06-05-2014, 07:52 PM
A homework assignment? :e2cry:

Jperez6
06-05-2014, 08:19 PM
Speaking of, I once saw someone asking for help on a chemistry problem on a bathroom wall at college...

Cath
06-05-2014, 08:33 PM
What do you need this for? The graffiti on bathroom walls may vary by location (high school, pub, college, etc).

You may get very lucky with folks going out of their way looking for you, we do have some wonderfully generous people here, but don't expect it.

shakeysix
06-05-2014, 08:43 PM
This one is from waayyy back in 1977. My husband and I were driving from central Kansas to Pittston, Pennsylvania to attend his brother's wedding so I know the year and the month, July. We were traveling with one and four year old daughters so stopped often in roadside parks for picnics and play. In the restroom of a roadside park in Ohio I found a diary scratched into the paint of a stall.

It began "Jos and me stuck here. Car give out--June 1977." The next entries talked about how she (there was a name but I can't remember) lived in the park, slept in the car and made sandwiches while Jos hitch hiked for help. One entry stated the problem with the car--I am thinking it was an alternator or a distributor but know next to nothing about cars, so I'm not sure. One entry talked about getting fried chicken and bread from a sympathetic couple. One said that they didn't want the car to get tagged as disabled so pushed it around. Then one said "Jos found a job in town and he hitched back at night." The last one said they were leaving to live in the town and get the car fixed. I think it all added up to 4 days she lived in the park.

My husband was hollering for me, asking me what was taking so long. All I could say was "I'm reading the stall!" I often wondered what happened to that couple. They seemed to be about our age--s6

General Joy
06-05-2014, 09:00 PM
Thanks, JPerez and shakey... interesting story about the rest stop diary. :-) Cath, I am asking for my WIP. Location doesn't really matter because the character goes to all kinds of bathrooms in different locations (only in the US though). And of course I don't expect anyone to go to a lot of trouble or plan a trip to a public bathroom simply to answer my question.

Maryn
06-05-2014, 11:16 PM
At the University of Texas at Austin, in the Computer Science building, was a stall door-covering missive by a young woman who liked a particular sexual practice which might be considered abusive and potentially damaging, which I don't name here because, you know, kids, and whether she should try to live without it even though she craved it and sometimes called her ex because he'd do it. People responded with name-calling suggesting she was sick or a slut; phone numbers where she could get help for her mental health, sexual abuse hotlines, rape counseling, women's shelters; more than one person suggesting God or Jesus could help; people discussing the rightness of informed consent for adults; and the OP's responses. It was all written only slightly larger than it would be on looseleaf filler, and probably ran four or five thousand words. It made me look more closely at the few female students in the program at the time.

Then one day, it was a smudged mess, and the next, painted over. I wish like hell I'd taken a picture.

Maryn, too late

alleycat
06-05-2014, 11:18 PM
Above the condom machine: This gum tastes like rubber.

Bolero
06-05-2014, 11:54 PM
"This door is available in paperback."

But its usually xxxx sux or hearts and initials. Sometimes some initials scored out. or xxx 4 yyy 4 ever. Or a swear word. Usually four letters. Can't ever recall seeing something longer than four letters, probably takes too long to carve.

Motorway service stations on the other hand - almost no graffiti, but plenty of advertising posters - usually for associations for people with bladder control problems or road safety things. Its always good to target your audience closely.

WeaselFire
06-06-2014, 12:38 AM
Strange one's I've seen:

"Don't eat the big mint!"
"For a good time, go somewhere else"
"I love slippery grils" followed by "there are two L's in grills"
"While you were reading this I stole your wallet"
"Jimmy Buffett pissed here!"

But the best was a recipe for beer batter, used in the kitchen of the bar. Story is that the guy in charge of making the batter couldn't remember the recipe so the owner wrote it in the men's room.

Jeff

badwolf.usmc
06-06-2014, 01:28 AM
"For a good time, call your Mom. Everyone else does."

airship wreck
06-06-2014, 01:40 AM
About five years ago, in a women's restroom on a college campus, I saw a heading similar to "tell your secrets here". Underneath that, I remember someone confessed about their secret crush, and someone else said they'd been sexually abused and never reported it.

On a lighter note, in another bathroom someone wrote "This way to the Ministry of Magic" as a reference to the Harry Potter series. If I remember correctly, a few others got into a conversation about which characters were the most attractive (Fred and George won, naturally).

Trebor1415
06-06-2014, 02:38 AM
I remember seeing several rants against circumsicion in a few different men's rooms in Hawaii. They were all obviously by the same guy and evidently he and it toured some of the same public restrooms. One was in a park, another at a overlook, etc.

A few times he put the URL of his (?) website with more info.

Lauram6123
06-06-2014, 03:38 AM
I remember seeing a rather colorful limerick that began:

"Twas on the good ship Venus..."

For some reason, I've never forgotten that one.

Albedo
06-06-2014, 04:05 AM
In the staff WCs in a busy emergency department: a guide to correctly filling out death certificates, posted on the back of the cubicle door. Someone had appended "please complete certificate before dying on toilet".

Mr Flibble
06-06-2014, 04:13 AM
My favouritist was on a condom machine

the money thing had been ripped out and in its place "insert baby here for full refund"

Mr Flibble
06-06-2014, 04:13 AM
I remember seeing a rather colorful limerick that began:

"Twas on the good ship Venus..."

For some reason, I've never forgotten that one.

Ah the Sex Pistols...

books2thesky
06-06-2014, 12:15 PM
(1)
"God is dead. -- Nietzsche"
and below, in different handwriting,
"Nietzsche is dead. -- God"

(2) a little poem which I later Googled and learned was written by the poet Wendy Cope:
"Write it in fire across the night:
Some men are more or less alright."
and below in a different handwriting, a response that as far as I can tell was an original composition of the replying graffiti-ist:
"Flow down the river and out to the sea:
Sometimes it's better to just let men be."
(to be clear, this was a women's bathroom, not a unisex one)

(3) "Batman ♥ Robin"

Once!
06-06-2014, 01:18 PM
Possibly apocryphal:


"Would gentlemen please note that the sign "wet paint" is a warning and not an instruction".

From a very long time ago:



"Here I sit, broken-hearted. Paid a penny and only farted."


My wife has a framed cartoon which used to hang in her bathroom when she was single and now lives in our "downstairs cloakroom".

http://www.comedycard.co.uk/products/funny-greeting-card-fred-leaving-the-lavatory-seat-up

kaitie
06-06-2014, 04:31 PM
Bad Wolf.

CynHolt
06-06-2014, 04:43 PM
Love this thread!!! All the fun of reading the stall, without the smell!

Sage
06-06-2014, 04:51 PM
In a stall at a church I worked at this week actually:

"The devil made me do it"

Night_Writer
06-06-2014, 05:04 PM
From a bathroom stall in a restaurant in Manhattan, back in the 1970s:

Edith Head gives good wardrobe.

IClaytonR
06-07-2014, 02:42 AM
"They showed me rats, cried Elmo"

Relic37
06-07-2014, 03:10 AM
From a stall in the math building on a college campus, written in very small handwriting on the bottom edge of the door, forcing you to lean way forward on the toilet in order to read it:

"You are now at a 45 degree angle."

blacbird
06-07-2014, 06:45 AM
HELP FIGHT URINE

caw

CrastersBabies
06-07-2014, 06:45 AM
A rainbow sticker that says, "Jesus Saves" and underneath it, someone wrote, "Michael Fassbender."

Bolero
06-07-2014, 08:59 PM
Strange one's I've seen:

"Don't eat the big mint!"


I think that one is a reference to the white disc shaped tablet of cleaning product hung/placed in urinals......

(Everyone else probably knows that, but just in case...... :) )

smellycat6464
06-07-2014, 09:30 PM
Well, this is hearsay because I did not witness this, my best friend did. But apparently, this one, slightly disturbed boy that honestly made me contemplate my safety while sitting next to him in world religions class apparently wrote a very threatening note using his feces on the bathroom wall, once.

I don't know if this was exaggeration or just a plain rumor, but you do have the materials necessary in any bathroom, so yeah....

blackrose602
06-08-2014, 02:01 AM
At a coffeehouse in Downtown Orlando before the "cleanup efforts" of the past few years. The place was a haven for goths, punks and homeless teens. I used to go there pretty much every night. Anyway, our hangouts were getting overrun by posers and "weekend homeless" (kids from rich families who slept on the streets for fun every weekend). The bathroom was coed and witty graffiti was encouraged.

One night I wrote:

Definition of a wannabe: Someone who tries to conform to nonconformity and follow the laws of anarchy.

A few years later, I met my now ex-husband in New Orleans. Turns out he was also from Orlando, and used to go to that coffeehouse. One night we were discussing the bathroom graffiti, and he quoted mine back to me as his favorite. He was pretty surprised to find out I was the author!

ULTRAGOTHA
06-08-2014, 07:57 AM
At a gas station in the interior of British Columbia

"When I die, I am going to Heaven, because I've already been to Kamloops."

We ate pizza in Kamloops on that trip. The graffiti had us in stitches because OMG worst pizza ever.

Canotila
06-08-2014, 11:39 AM
The local grocery store has one on a stall door that says:

"Contains portal to Narnia. Use at your own risk."

Koschei
06-08-2014, 02:16 PM
In the bathroom at uni, I can remember there was one piece of graffiti that asked for book recommendations and lots of other people replied with their favourite book. Anytime I went in, I took a note of any new recs. If it's written on a bathroom stall, it must be good.
In the same stall, there was also the entire "don't blink" speech from Doctor Who.

Blinkk
06-08-2014, 11:31 PM
I grew up in NY so the graffiti had always been typical sex related stuff, or calling out another girl as a slut or hoe or something. But then I moved to California and entered the twilight stall.

I was so shocked at what I read I took a picture of it. Kind bathroom graffiti? People CONSOLING EACH OTHER?! Encouragement on bathroom walls? This is Northern California, by the way up by Mendocino. I'm sure LA graffiti could run neck in neck with NYC.

---

damn, I tried to find the pictures but I couldn't. Anyway, there were things like, "Mike Smith broke my heart. Ladies don't date this cheater." And underneath someone wrote, "hun, don't get your head down. Just pick yourself back up and keep smiling." Someone else quoted Rumi. Other people wrote, "Remember, life is what you make of it. So be positive because you're worth it." Everyone was so positive and encouraging.

More of a weird situation than weird bathroom tags, I suppose.

Bolero
06-09-2014, 02:12 AM
Love the idea of kind graffiti - definitely want more of that. Could start a new trend if we all took to doing it.

Broader thought - the urge to leave little scribbles on the wall is very old and very popular. Archaeologists find graffiti.
Incidentally - from reading a Dick Francis book - the word "trivia" comes from Latin as they had a place for leaving messages wherever three roads met. (Not actually checked that for myself, but like the concept.)

milkweed
06-09-2014, 05:17 AM
Speaking of, I once saw someone asking for help on a chemistry problem on a bathroom wall at college...

That was pretty common in all of the bathrooms in the chemistry dept here at the university to the point the admins finally installed bulletin boards with instructions to NOT staple pieces of paper onto the bulletin boards so they'd last longer.

Outside of chemistry problems and zen tangled art on the bathroom stalls I really haven't seen much out of the ordinary on a bathroom wall. Although, I do find the condem machines in the womens bathroom to be a wee bit hilarious but do understand the need for them to be there.

GailD
06-09-2014, 06:36 PM
ENGLISHMEN MAKE THE BEST LOVERS!

No. The Japanese make them smaller and cheaper.


:D

General Joy
06-09-2014, 06:36 PM
thanks for all the replies so far! Especially love the Nietzsche vs God one, books2thesky.

CWatkinsNash
06-09-2014, 10:47 PM
The bars in downtown Nashville have fascinating restrooms, in terms of the things written on their walls. Many of them are in very old buildings, and over the years have been retrofitted, and some bar owners have learned to just make the stalls with cheap plywood to accommodate the graffiti.

In one bar, an anonymous regular known only as "P" documented her relationship history in a stall. She would mark out the old and add the new. She didn't just draw a line through their names or initials, but rather wrote over them with "loser", "cheater", "married scum" and the like. When the stalls were painted over, she started again. This went on for well over a year. I wonder, what happened to her? Did she ever find a good man?

Once I was in a really long stall, and while hovering, I noticed someone had drawn a really long vertical line with a Sharpie, and next to it was, "Back up to this line and flush with your foot!"

They weren't kidding. That toilet was an accidental bidet, and apparently it had been that way for some time. Part of me wonders if it was ever fixed, but I don't go to that part of town anymore.

Robbert
06-10-2014, 07:05 PM
Spotted this one above some urinal: All cunts, except mummy!

iLion
06-11-2014, 09:44 PM
Maybe it's one everybody else has seen, but it was new to me:

How are toilet paper and the starship Enterprise alike?
They both circle Uranis in search of Klingons.

Okay, so I'm like a 14 yr old, but I sat there and laughed my ass off for a long time.

hammerklavier
06-11-2014, 11:14 PM
The older hand dryers used to have instructions instead of pictures, something like: 1) Press button 2) Rub hands together 3) Stops automatically. Invariably, someone would add 4) Dry hands on pants.

AuthorUnknown
06-18-2014, 08:27 AM
I read every single one. Funny stuff.

I saw one that said "Homosexuality is a crime of passion."

I still don't get it. Are they defending or condemning it?

Enderboots
06-19-2014, 05:12 PM
I've seen an image of a rather witty one. It says "Don't beam me up now, Scotty, I'm taking a sh-" and a line is drawn from the end of the word all the way up to the top of the stall wall, as if the person was carried into the air.

But the ones I've actually seen with my own eyes are either "X was here" or Kilroys.

heza
06-20-2014, 12:17 AM
"If you sprinkle
When you tinkle
Be a sweetie
Wipe the seatie."


Someone also unrolled a toilet paper roll, inscribed it with all the dialog from The Princess Bride, and rolled it back up.

Torill
06-20-2014, 12:36 AM
Translated from the Norwegian:

(In a unisex toilet): 'Step closer, it's smaller than you think.'

At the bottom of the stall door: 'Whatch out for limbo dancers.'

Both made me laugh.

Carlsen Highway
06-28-2014, 12:54 PM
Sydney 1994

Written in block capitals in an emphatic hand:

ANDRE IS NOT PUNCTUAL

ssbittner
06-29-2014, 01:14 AM
On a stall, I once saw a ten-person argument about null hypotheses involving people who don't flush and whether they are "nasty-ass bitches" or not.
My favorite graffiti wasn't in a bathroom, though. It was random chalk writing in a stairway. The writing was bemoaning the fact that someone would erase it, as though it were self-aware.

Mr Flibble
06-29-2014, 01:27 AM
A rainbow sticker that says, "Jesus Saves" and underneath it, someone wrote, "Michael Fassbender."

Jesus saves..

But Beckham scores on the rebound.

milkweed
06-29-2014, 04:37 AM
Once I was in a really long stall, and while hovering, I noticed someone had drawn a really long vertical line with a Sharpie, and next to it was, "Back up to this line and flush with your foot!"

They weren't kidding. That toilet was an accidental bidet, and apparently it had been that way for some time. Part of me wonders if it was ever fixed, but I don't go to that part of town anymore.

:evil

Stopped someplace in the middle of the night whilest driving through eastern Oklahoma on the way to Texas to use the loo. The bathroom was purple with a lime green floor and an orange ceiling and the chocolate brown toilet was about a foot and a half too tall for any normal person to use, so I ended up holding it another thirty miles for a much nicer place. The sink was a salmon pink color.

Hanson
06-29-2014, 04:55 AM
On a wall in well, a certain place...

"Oh what to do, what to do,
I wish to write and not here linger,
so I reached behind, and with my finger
found a textured ink of sticky xxx."



All I can tell you is that the 'ink' was a very dark ochre...

Vito
06-30-2014, 02:59 AM
When I was in college I discovered an incredibly unflattering caricature of a high school classmate on the back partition of a study carrel in the campus library.

The picture was carefully drawn and shaded in pencil, and there's no mistake who it represented: The artist had labeled the picture with the guy's name. (The guy has an extremely uncommon name, so I won't reveal it here. Let's just say that the words "Mike Jones" appeared in neat block letters above the drawing).

The caricature was dead-on: An enormous bird-beak nose, a tiny chin, goggle-eyes magnified by huge rimless glasses, and Woody Woodpecker hair. :ROFL:

"Mike Jones" wasn't a serious troublemaker during my high school years but he was generally regarded as a pushy, poorly-mannered braggart. He often boasted about how he was set to inherit his family's business when his older relatives chose to retire, that he would be "set for life", blah blah blah. Nobody likes to hear that kind of stuff, especially when you're a teenager, so I was happy to see Mike get his comeuppance. Kind of a "karma" thing, I guess.

The mysterious part of the story is how that strange drawing ended up on a study carrel in a college library 30 miles away from the high school we attended. Mike didn't go to college (he didn't need to 'cause he was gonna inherit his family's business, etc. etc.) and very few of my high school classmates went on to that college after graduation. It's sort of a mystery, when you get right down to it. :Shrug:

Elly_Green
07-02-2014, 06:29 PM
"We aim to please, you aim too, please."

lacygnette
07-03-2014, 05:38 AM
A guy friend once reported seeing:
No matter how you shake and dance, the last drop ends up in your pants.

And I saw in the bathroom of an abandoned house where kids hung out:
How to do it. First you take off her cloths.