Who Would Win? (a game, I guess)

Werewolves.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Barack Obama, fencing match.

GrammarshineHyena said:

Abraham Lincoln, for sure. o3o

Michael Jackson vs. a unicorn, arm wrestling

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Unicorn. Michael is distracted, wondering if Annie is okay.


Link from Zelda, or Pikachu?

They're kind of the same thing, aren't they?

Oh, very well. Michael Jackson because he has arms.

Deodorant vrs. Chapstick, competitive painting

Edit: D'Oh, ninja'ed by C. Bronco.

Pikachu because that little critter looks mean.

Deodorant vrs. Chapstick?

Deodorant. If you can tame those pits, anything else is moot.

J.K. Rowling versus George R.R. Martin, character death-off.

jjdebenedictis said:

They're kind of the same thing, aren't they?

Oh, very well. Michael Jackson because he has arms.

Deodorant vrs. Chapstick, competitive painting

Edit: D'Oh, ninja'ed by C. Bronco.

Pikachu because that little critter looks mean.

Deodorant vrs. Chapstick?

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I agree. Pikachu wins!

ZachJPayne said:

Deodorant. If you can tame those pits, anything else is moot.

J.K. Rowling versus George R.R. Martin, character death-off.

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J.K Rowling,
George Martin may have a higher kill number, but the judges weren't invested enough in his characters to keep proper count. Either that or they were lost in a sea of world building.

Dwight from The Office Versus Monk
Laundry Folding Competition?

Rotes said:

J.K Rowling,
George Martin may have a higher kill number, but the judges weren't invested enough in his characters to keep proper count. Either that or they were lost in a sea of world building.

Dwight from The Office Versus Monk
Laundry Folding Competition?

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I would have thought the judges would be washed away in a sea of George RR Martin's characters' blood -- and then when they crawled out on the shores of Scotland somewhere, Harry Potter's mum Rowling would be there with towels and sympathy and then she'd win by a landslide just because the judges were so freakin' relieved to finally be able to pour the Stark entrails out of their shoes.

Monk, because Dwight would be tricked into stopping to brag about performing his own circumcision. And then Monk would steal all Dwight's laundry and re-fold it the right way.

Ice Cream vrs Gelato, blubber-building Olympics, 2014 (the blubber-building Olympics will be held on the bellies of willing victims this summer.)

GrammarshineHyena said:

Gelato is amazing, so it wins. There can't even be a contest. lawl.

Beards vs Moustaches, sexiness contest

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Disclaimer: I am a straight male but I feel I can be the judge here.

Beards win every time. The mustache leans towards making a man seem a little "creepy". Beards complete the man and set him apart from the rest. Hey, I'm the judge here!

Gremlins vs. Critters

Gremlins, because they're real.

Nautilus vs. Red October

Red October

Dennis Rodman v. Hunter S. Thompson, drinking