Dealing with Rejection before the Rejections even come in!

mbowman · Apr 10, 2014

So I've been in kind of an emotional rough patch lately (I kind of came to a realization like two days ago that my relationship with my girlfriend is essentially over and we're both just waiting to break up) and the only way I could deal with it is by writing.

I've perfected my manuscript I attempted to submit last year; I think it's 100% better but I'm making sure its the best it can be by following Donald Maass's Breakout Novel Workbook, and its like every fifteen minutes I want to throw the book away and go "fuck this. I am not this good. I am gonna get rejected even if I follow all these steps."

So basically how am I supposed to deal with the upset of being rejected before I've even finished the final edit of the novel?

Sorry for the rant but I kind of need to vent because like really sucks right now and writing is the only thing keeping me sane. That and my Broadway showtunes playlist.

Kerosene · Apr 10, 2014

Just don't query/submit, then you won't fear getting rejected.

Other than that, remember that being rejected by a agent/editor doesn't mean your story is shit or you're a bad writer, it's just that they don't believe that they can sell it. It's business, what's there to be afraid of? Agents/editors won't kill you for wasting their time.

Ellaroni · Apr 10, 2014

Accept that you ARE going to get rejected. It happens to all writers, it's part of the deal.

D.A Watson · Apr 10, 2014

Ellaroni said:
Accept that you ARE going to get rejected. It happens to all writers, it's part of the deal.

This. Get it out there dude, with the full knowledge that you will matter of fact, no doubts about it be rejected. If you go into it with this knowledge, when you get the form letter back, it certainly won't sting so much as it would if you expect to be published or agented with your first attempt. That just doesn't hapen. Think of your rejection lettyers as a badge of honour, or writing boot camp.

Putputt · Apr 11, 2014

The most successful query rate I've heard of is around 40%. That means that more than half the time, the writer was still getting rejections. Keep in mind, too, that writers like Stephen King got plenty of rejections before they finally succeeded. King collected a massive pile of rejections before Carrie, Harry Potter was rejected I don't know how many times, best-selling author Marie Lu wrote three novels before Legend finally sold, and so on and so forth.

Rejection is just a way of life for writers. Brush them off and keep going.

Jamesaritchie · Apr 11, 2014

Rejection happens. Not to everyone, but to most. So what? Do you expect to write something at a professional level first time out? It does happen, but it's extremely rare.

Even Monet, da Vinci, and Rembrandt had to paint hundreds of paintings before creating one worthy of a museum.

Most people in any profession have to pay their dues. A rejection is just a receipt showing you paid your dues this week.

Phaeal · Apr 14, 2014

Be sure to put "Maybe This Time" on your Broadway playlist, if it's not there already. I belted this one out many a time as I countered a rejection with a new submission. Perfect balance of self-pity and indominable hope.

ReflectedGray · Apr 14, 2014

I've been reading a lot of agent / publisher blogs and I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme. Many say they think it’s a problem when first time writers obsess about their first attempt instead of moving on to other things.

I’m not saying this is the case with you at all, but maybe you should consider a new and fresh project, rather than tearing your hair out following a workbook to make your manuscript better.

I didn’t submit my first manuscript because I didn’t have 100 percent confidence in it. I wrote another, and I submitted that because I really truly believe it’s a good book. Its at least SO MUCH BETTER than my first.

I get twitchy and unhappy if I’m not working on something new, so I started the third manuscript while I edited the first. I can tell you, its made querying so much more bearable than I imagine it would be otherwise. If I ever get a rejection or get frustrated, I can just work on the third book. It really has helped me so so much.

Maybe you just need a bit of a cleanse and a new project?

p.s: I heard that the same idea applies with girlfriends. One way to move on is to get back out there and realize that there are other wonderful people in the world. Just like there are wonderful novels in your brain.

Jo Zebedee · Apr 14, 2014

I came across an old rejection today from a well respected agent that said they liked the premise but I had too many grammar/syntax errors to take it. Now this submission got an agent from the same submission, had interest from four others, had been beta read to death and had a professional edit. There were many things wrong with it, but the grammar wasn't one.

In short, you'll get rejections. They might not even be fair, but they'll happen. Maybe see it as a step closer to a yes?

kydelaney · Apr 15, 2014

I think what you're saying is that ending your relationship with your girlfriend and the prospect of dealing with rejection on the writing front seems like a lot of rejection/loss to handle at once.

The one thing that helps me deal with rejection is grounding myself in the daily stuff that matters. Not putting all my hopes and aspirations into a "when my manuscript is accepted" basket, but enjoying the process of writing and the rest of my life as well, in the present moment.

Good luck!

Dealing with Rejection before the Rejections even come in!

mbowman

Kerosene

Your Pixie Queen

Ellaroni

D.A Watson

Writer of Wrongs

Putputt

permanently suctioned to Buz's leg

Jamesaritchie

Phaeal

Whatever I did, I didn't do it.

ReflectedGray

Jo Zebedee

space opera-popcorn lover!

kydelaney