View Full Version : Looking for Beta: YA Contemporary, 67,000 words

04-01-2014, 07:57 PM

My MS has been read by several people and I’ve gotten positive feedback. I’ve also queried and had several requests for partials and fulls, but no agents have offered representation. Thanks to some help from this board, I am realizing the problem is probably with the MS and that’s why I’m looking for a beta.

I am hoping for feedback concerning whatever isn’t working for the reader. What can I do to make this story grab you or grab you and keep you interested? I can handle criticism.

I’m pasting part of my query below; let me know if you’re interested in reading the MS. Just to give you a heads up: the novel contains physical violence and, while not explicitly described, there are discussions of sexual violence as well.


When fifteen-year old Iphigenia Murphy isn't trying to disappear, she's wishing someone would notice her. Turns out, sometimes you have to get lost to get found. Iffy packs a tent, canned food, pepper spray. She turns her criminal stepbrother over to the police and runs away to find the long-lost mother that she believes is living in a wooded city park. Iffy discovers her own resourcefulness living in the park, where she makes progress in the search for her mother, fights off would-be attackers, finds a dog, makes a friend, and even meets a boy. It all threatens to fall apart, however, and not just because Iffy and her friends face the daily dangers of life as runaways. Rather, Iffy discovers that her abusive stepbrother has been looking for her. It's only a matter of time until he finds her.

Some Girls is a 67,000 word coming-of-age contemporary young adult novel. A character of contradictions--a native New Yorker who's only been to Manhattan on school trips, a Colombian/Irish skater girl, an urban camper--Iffy must grapple not only with the central question of adolescence--who do I want to be?--but of adulthood--just what would I do protect myself and those I love?