Ever Become Infatuated With an Agent ?

No. There are definitely a few agents where I feel a little ooh, yes! when I read about them, read interviews, but.

The way I see it, querying agents is much like applying for private schools and or colleges--when you need a full scholarship. (something I've done with my kiddos)

The perfect school is the one that offers a spot of admission with enough money so attending is possible.

Don't "fall in love," the one you love is the one who loves you/your work. The one who is the perfect match or dream choice is the one who offers representation and believes in your work. You just don't know who that perfect agent is until you get to that point.

*this is just my theory, I'm still searching for the one, though I'd like to think I'm getting closer.

I try to feel that way about every agent I want to query

I've been building a folder of agents whose preferences I read and think "YES! They're awesome!" I also read Janet Reid's blog, but I don't (typically) write what she reps.

I admit when I started querying my first project, there was an agent I pinned all my hopes on. Not only did she rep similar authors, she had great sales, and, based on her personality and how she conducted herself online, really seemed to be going out of her way to help authors. I dreamed of a great partnership, raking in millions.

The important thing (and I know you know this, but I'll say it anyway) is don't get so hung up on 'Super Agent' that it messes up your query style (Like trunking your novel when Super Agent rejects it). And I like what Ginger said--feel that way about every agent on your list.

Ken said:

Want. Want! WANT !

Not in lovely dovey way; e.g. "I want to bed 'em."
But in a this-agent-would-be-a-match-made-in-heaven sort of a way.

1. They rep your genre, which goes without saying. (So why did I mention it?)

2. They value the same things you do or are, "on the same page," as garnered from their site or online interview(s), etc.

3. You've just got an instinctive feeling this would be an awesome agentess, not only getting you pub'd but motivating you to do your best by positive vibes.

Feelings are iffy things of course. They can be off. Get to speak to an agent during, "the call," and you may be like, "What the heck? Is this the same agent I slobbered over?"

Still, out of all the ones you researched (50,000,000 at last count) this particular agent seems without peer. You feel like sending your manuscript to them, alone.

And if they reject it, trunking the manuscript and trying them again a few years later with something else. It's either them or no one. That's how much you're smitten!

Anyone relate, to some limited degree ?

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Years ago, when I was editing full-time and knew no better, I sent a personalised rejection to a writer. He responded, and foolishly, I replied to his letter.

He ended up stalking me for over a year. It was extremely unpleasant: I felt threatened at work and at home (he sent me photos of me opening my own front door, among other things).

I am not alone: all of the agents I know have rejected writers who have gone on to insist that they take another look at their work, who repeatedly send the agents the same query or the same few pages, and who will not take no for an answer; and a significant proportion of those writers have gone on to threaten and attempt to intimidate the agents concerned.

So when I read about how writers get obsessed or infatuated with agents or editors, I do not think it funny.

I think it's hard to tell before you actually query them and (hopefully) submit your MS. There have definitely been agents I've been excited about when I found their website, or an interview, just because it seemed like they were looking for exactly what I had written. But it doesn't always work out that way... One of the "OMG this is it!" agents requested my full, then rejected it... and she seems like a GREAT agent with a lot of really happy clients, but her comments on my full said to me that she didn't really have the same ideas about *my* novel as I did. I wasn't really sad that she said no, it was more of a "Nope, we're not on the same page here, best of luck!" "Best of luck to you too!"

Another one whose wish list seemed SO perfect sent me a form rejection via an assistant. *shrug*

But I've also had full requests from agents who I wasn't sure would be interested... queries that were more of a "Well, it won't hurt to try."

It's like online dating... even if the age and height and weight and hobbies match up, you might not click with the person. There are definitely agents I respect as bloggers and tweeters, whose clients I think are amazing... but until they read MY novel and we actually discuss it, I've got no idea if they're the one for me.

Good luck with your agent search!

I worry about who the agent has for clients more than anything else. But if a good agent offers to represent you, chances are you share the things you mention, anyway.

I have to say, it would feel a little creepy to me, were I this agent, if I ever found out about such an infatuation from a potential client. I think it would be enough to cause me NOT to represent that writer, in fact.

I can understand feeling that a person, an agent in particular, has some subtle alignment with your work, an alignment you've not experienced elsewhere. But taking it into "Want Want" territory is outside the bounds of even a very good business relationship, IMO. Despite the disclaimer.

As well, as hikarinotsubasa mentioned, even a strong feeling of this sort is not something to base a decision on. The next communication might be full of thorns.

Old Hack said:

Years ago, when I was editing full-time and knew no better, I sent a personalised rejection to a writer. He responded, and foolishly, I replied to his letter.

He ended up stalking me for over a year. It was extremely unpleasant: I felt threatened at work and at home (he sent me photos of me opening my own front door, among other things).

I am not alone: all of the agents I know have rejected writers who have gone on to insist that they take another look at their work, who repeatedly send the agents the same query or the same few pages, and who will not take no for an answer; and a significant proportion of those writers have gone on to threaten and attempt to intimidate the agents concerned.

So when I read about how writers get obsessed or infatuated with agents or editors, I do not think it funny.

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Bold mine.

I feel like there's a certain amount of "acceptable stalking" we're suppose to do (read submission requirements, read interviews, etc.) but that's as far as it goes (for me). Especially after reading what happened to agent Pamela van Hylckama Vlieg a couple of years back, I'm acutely aware of how very exposed agents and others in the industry can be, to a population people who apparently have no sense of professionalism or boundaries.

I'm not saying ALL writers are unbalanced creepers, obviously I wouldn't be very welcome here if I was saying that, but it's not what I mean anyway and I hope that comes across. But when we research agents, there's a certain amount of respect and admiration we have to hold for these wonderful people who put up with our crap and will (hopefully) Make Publication Happen for us.

Ken said:

I was just having fun, and poking fun of myself to boot, but I get your point.

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The thing is, though, Ken, stalking isn't fun. And stalking behaviour is what you implied.

GingerGunlock said:

I feel like there's a certain amount of "acceptable stalking" we're suppose to do (read submission requirements, read interviews, etc.) but that's as far as it goes (for me).

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There's a big difference between research and stalking. Most of us can see that difference. But the few who can't? They can be dangerous.

Especially after reading what happened to agent Pamela van Hylckama Vlieg a couple of years back, I'm acutely aware of how very exposed agents and others in the industry can be, to a population people who apparently have no sense of professionalism or boundaries.

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It's a far bigger problem than most writers realise. Of course most of us wouldn't dream of behaving inappropriately, in the way that I experienced or in the way that Pam did; it's creepy and vile and totally inappropriate. But it happens often enough for agents to maintain ongoing relationships with the police, for example. And for them to ensure that they work in buildings with good security.

Old Hack said:

The thing is, though, Ken, stalking isn't fun. And stalking behaviour is what you implied.



There's a big difference between research and stalking. Most of us can see that difference. But the few who can't? They can be dangerous.



It's a far bigger problem than most writers realise. Of course most of us wouldn't dream of behaving inappropriately, in the way that I experienced or in the way that Pam did; it's creepy and vile and totally inappropriate. But it happens often enough for agents to maintain ongoing relationships with the police, for example. And for them to ensure that they work in buildings with good security.

Click to expand...

I definitely never realized until I read discussions here, and subsequently on agent blogs and in interviews. My sense of what people are willing to do is pretty well jaded, due to working with the public (and living in a college town), but it still blows my mind when I read about inappropriate behavior towards editors and agents.

I know from my own experience: 'infatuation' with a particular agent is one of the stages many inexperienced writers go through. Probably related to the same unrealistic mindset of authors who think finding an agent automatically means big royalty checks just around the corner. It's a bit of a shock to realize that, nope, the work's just starting.

I haven't had this feeling with agents, but I have had this feeling with a few people that blog. Sometimes I read their post and become so in love with them their writing that I want to buy them a cup of coffee and pick their brains to death. My newest one is Hal Duncan, lol ::sigh::

Yeah, I don't know if this is going anywhere useful or interesting.