How to describe this action of hands

jaus tail · Feb 28, 2014

Hello everyone, I need some help to word this action.

Imagine your praying by joining your hands, only the mc is trying to control a guy who's lost his mental balance. The mc wraps his hands around the patient, and tries to prevent him from running. So he's wrapped his arms around patient and joined the palns(??) or intertwined the fingers of his both arms.

Imagine your praying and you'd join your palms, but now you've intertwine the fingers to make sure no one escapes your hug.

Helix · Feb 28, 2014

He locked his fingers together?

jaus tail · Feb 28, 2014

He locked his fingers together forming a strong hug. Thanks.

Bufty · Feb 28, 2014

Beware of over explaining or reversing the sequence of events here- the hug comes before the interlocking.

jaus tail said:
He locked his fingers together forming a strong hug. Thanks.

Cathy C · Feb 28, 2014

I agree with Bufty. The position of the hands isn't as important as the concept:

He enveloped the man in a tight embrace, head bowed and knuckles white with effort. He prayed for the strength to withstand the struggles, and for guidance in how to ease the man's turmoil.

jaus tail · Feb 28, 2014

So he hugged the patient then locked his fingers. But why would the knuckles go white? Like the captor has put so much effort that his bones(knuckles) are tearing his skin and since bones are white, the white bones are visible through the skin, like simile for strain. It's a long shot, I think.

Bufty · Feb 28, 2014

It's not a long shot.

There's no tearing of skin involved or showing of bare bone through broken skin. You are over-dramatising the action.

Try it and see. Lock your own fingers together- knuckles always go white when the fingers are interlocked and take strain.

Clench your fists - it's the same thing.

Not sure if it's the same for folk with darker skin but for those of us with light skin colour it is normal for the knuckle to whiten when the fist is clenched.

If the knuckles go white any reader will know why without it being explained - it can only be because of the strain and exertion.

jaus tail said:
So he hugged the patient then locked his fingers. But why would the knuckles go white? Like the captor has put so much effort that his bones(knuckles) are tearing his skin and since bones are white, the white bones are visible through the skin, like simile for strain. It's a long shot, I think.

Helix · Feb 28, 2014

Mind you, it depends on the viewpoint. If his arms are wrapped around someone and his fingers are locked, he won't be able to see his own knuckles.

jaus tail · Feb 28, 2014

Oh yeah. Thanks Cathy n Bufty for sharing n clairifying the fact.

If the fingers are locked, they kinda cover the knuckles partially. I'll keep the knuckled part out of it.

He embraced the patient in a tight embrace and locked his fingers, shouting at him to calm down.

Cathy C · Feb 28, 2014

Helix said:
Mind you, it depends on the viewpoint. If his arms are wrapped around someone and his fingers are locked, he won't be able to see his own knuckles.

That's why his head was bowed...

I pictured the patient wigging out and the MC being slightly above him, having arms around his upper shoulders, trying to control his struggles. Otherwise, the patient is beating on the MC with arms and fists. With his head bowed over the man's shoulder, he could see his own knuckles.

Bufty · Feb 28, 2014

Still on the clarity issue - watch the use of repetition and pronouns. Simplicity usually leads to clarity.

And shouting in someone's ear isn't the best way to calm them.

=jaus tail;8733726]Oh yeah. Thanks Cathy n Bufty for sharing n clairifying the fact.

If the fingers are locked, they kinda cover the knuckles partially. I'll keep the knuckled part out of it.

JAS- He ~~embraced~~ restrained (?) the patient in a tight embrace ~~and locked his fingers~~, shouting at him to calm down.

blacbird · Feb 28, 2014

Bufty said:
Beware of over explaining.

Quoted for emphasis. One of the quickest ways to turn your prose into verbal quicksand is to get obsessed with explaining physical detail.

caw

jaus tail · Mar 2, 2014

I actually like physical detail. It's a good example of show not tell. Didn't know it can turn to boring verbose.

He embraced him in a tight hug and locked his fingers, waiting for the nurse to come through the door and inject him.

Cathy C · Mar 2, 2014

Actually, this is telling, rather than showing. The trick with showing is involving the MC in the actions, rather than just giving the reader a visual of the motions. The other senses need to be involved--the MC feeling the strain of his muscles, his fear of what will happen if the patient gets free, scents of sweat or bodily functions, sounds of the screaming, grunts, alarms. What is here now doesn't convey the immediacy and power of the struggle.

jaus tail · Mar 2, 2014

Thanks a lot for your reply. But I've explained the other scenes of the chapter with details, so I wanted to narrow this scene in two or three sentences, not much. I don't want to reduce the pace of reading. The focus is more on why the patient goes berserk so I'm giving the struggle less word count. I didn't know about the 'knuckles going white' part. Thanks for that info.

Have a great day everyone and thanks for all your replies.

jaus tail · Mar 5, 2014

Just read a sentence involving white knuckles from a novel, Werelords. They gripped the reins of their mounts with white knuckles.

Just thought of posting it here.

How to describe this action of hands

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