Family requesting to read published story...for free

Status
Not open for further replies.

Witch_turtle

hanging around for a spell
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
910
Reaction score
113
Location
North
So, some extended family members of mine have asked me to e-mail them the short story I recently sold--my first pro publication--because they are interested and excited and want to read it. I appreciate that I have a supportive (or at least curious) family, but...umm...the request made me incredibly uncomfortable. It would be different if the story was published online and free to read and I could send them a link, but it's not--it was published in print and the magazine is for sale. For me to go around handing out my word document version would be an utter betrayal to that magazine.

I think the problem is people not understanding what it means to have sold a piece of writing to a publisher who is now its distributor. I guess I'm wondering if anyone has dealt with being put in this kind of weird position? I now have to go draft a reply explaining why I can't/won't send them a free copy of the story, and I'm not totally sure how to go about it.
 

Filigree

Mildly Disturbing
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 16, 2010
Messages
16,441
Reaction score
1,529
Location
between rising apes and falling angels
Website
www.cranehanabooks.com
Tell them no. Tell them this is part of the business arrangement between you and your publisher;that they could jeopardize your relationship with the publisher if they demand too much free fiction.

One of them can buy a copy and pass it around.
 

cornflake

practical experience, FTW
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Messages
16,171
Reaction score
3,734
Just say it's so nice of them to want to support you - thanks so much, it's published in X issue of Y, available at wherever near them.
 

veinglory

volitare nequeo
Self-Ban
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
28,750
Reaction score
2,933
Location
right here
Website
www.veinglory.com
For family members actually involved in my life, yes I will send a copy. But most of them just go out and buy it instead. People I just see once a year or sometime see on Facebook--no.
 

Myrealana

I aim to misbehave
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 29, 2012
Messages
5,425
Reaction score
1,911
Location
Denver, CO
Website
www.badfoodie.com
For family members actually involved in my life, yes I will send a copy. But most of them just go out and buy it instead. People I just see once a year or sometime see on Facebook--no.
This.

Family and friends who have been supportive of my writing career get free copies--though they usually ALSO buy a copy in support.

Others get information on how to get their own copy.
 

DeleyanLee

Writing Anarchist
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
31,660
Reaction score
11,407
Location
lost among the words
I love it when not-close family and new friends/acquaintances ask me to give them a copy of a published story for free. My reaction is usually to smile and give them the information to buy it. If they give me attitude, I ask them if they'd do what they do for a living for me for free. Some of them get it and don't fuss anymore. The ones that still have an attitude aren't worth fussing about, IMO.

Occasionally, I remind them that the best way to support my career is through sales, and thank them for their support.

But, no, "gimme" doesn't fly with me.
 

Kylabelle

unaccounted for
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
26,200
Reaction score
4,015
Congratulations on your publication, Witch Turtle.

I think maybe explaining about the rights the publisher has now might help them understand, but even if not, you'll have to draw that line. If you've been given copies, you get to decide who gets them and the rest have to share or purchase! If they are really supportive, this should be okay once they understand the issues involved.
 

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
23,083
Reaction score
10,780
Location
Where faults collide
Website
doggedlywriting.blogspot.com
Some publications will give the author a certain number of promotional copies of a book or story, but not all do. I'd just thank them profusely for their interest and gently explain that the contract you've signed with the publisher precludes your distributing free copies, if this is the case. Maybe point them in the direction of the publisher's web site, if the relevant issue is available online or for purchase. If the publisher has given you a few free copies, you could give a couple to your relatives with the stipulation that they share with the other members of their family?
 

Witch_turtle

hanging around for a spell
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
910
Reaction score
113
Location
North
Thanks, everyone! Yeah, I guess just being straightforward is the best way to go. I'll just tell them I appreciate their interest, but that I can't give the story away for free.

I got one contributor's copy and purchased a couple of extras as gifts for people who are very close to me. I'm not close with the family members in question.

(Oh well, in the end I suppose any problem made possible by the achievement of a goal isn't much of a problem, anyway ;))
 

Wilde_at_heart

υπείκωphobe
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 12, 2012
Messages
3,243
Reaction score
514
Location
Southern Ontario
My sister is a painter and got upset once when a family member expected her to paint something for free. Especially since this same family member had previously purchased works of art from yet another family member.

The way my sister sees it - and I think she's right in this - is that society partly determines the value of something by forking over money for it. And by expecting something of hers for free, she was taking that (rightly or wrongly) as that they didn't really place a value on her own work.

If they aren't that close, I suppose you could send them the link the magazine it's published in, and if they then are gauche enough to hint at wanting a free copy still, perhaps hint that that's a question they should be asking the magazine about, since they bought the rights to it :D

I dunno, it's tough. What do they do for a living - would they provide any of those services to you for free in exchange?
 

Witch_turtle

hanging around for a spell
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
910
Reaction score
113
Location
North
Yes, Wilde_at_heart, I totally agree! I'm an artist as well, and though luckily I haven't encountered anyone who didn't want to pay for my work (yet), I often worry about that type of issue. Especially since pricing your own work becomes a part of the equation.

I did get a stack of postcards from the publisher, with the cover art and website link. Maybe I'll send them one of those! :)

And to answer your question, one of them is actually a fire chief so...I mean, hopefully he would rescue me from fire if necessary without charging me for it ;) But you're totally right. It's nice to be reminded that just because I enjoy writing/art doesn't mean those things aren't work or that they aren't how I pay my bills.
 

shakeysix

blue eyed floozy
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 1, 2007
Messages
10,839
Reaction score
2,426
Location
St. John, Kansas
Website
shakey6wordsmith.webs.com
My cheap assed friend seems to think I owe her a copy of a novel because I used her horse's name in one chapter. She keeps asking when I am going to send her a copy. So I can put postage on top of the free book.

Then, another friend keeps buying them and she lives on a retirement pension and social security. I'd gladly give her a promo copy but the other one would find out! Friends! --s6
 

Jamesaritchie

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
27,863
Reaction score
2,311
I really have no problem if a writer's wants to send the manuscript to friends and family. Some writers show the manuscript to a dozen or more beta readers, and no harm done.

When a story of mine goes into a print magazine, I receive anywhere from two to six copies from the publisher, and I buy anywhere from fifteen to twenty-five copies to give to extended family and friends. I think of it as advertising. I've found they love to show off the magazine to their friends.

I also leave a copy in my family doctor's waiting room, and my ophthalmologist's waiting room.
 

Inky

Eat, Sleep, Write...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 24, 2005
Messages
10,637
Reaction score
5,063
Location
Aging. Writing. Aging. Writing...
If your friend/ family member owns a grocery store, do you get free groceries? If they own a car garage, do you receive free oil changes? Free tune ups? How 'bout Office Depot. McDonalds. Starbucks. Free coffee, food, office supplies?
Nope.
Not bloody likely.
Why?
This is business. No handouts. Could get fired. Could expect this all the time. If I 'do it for you, I have to do it for everyone' classic.
Bottom line: your writing is your business/ earned living. Just like their way of earning a living doesn't mean free handouts to you, neither should it be for them.
 

Ken

Banned
Kind Benefactor
Joined
Dec 28, 2007
Messages
11,478
Reaction score
6,198
Location
AW. A very nice place!
For me to go around handing out my word document version would be an utter betrayal to that magazine.

I think the problem is people not understanding what it means to have sold a piece of writing to a publisher who is now its distributor.

Spot-on assessment, IMO. Nice to encounter someone with ethics.

What you might do is buy copies of the pub and then mail them to them at your own expense, without making mention of that to them unless they ask. (Don't wanna make 'em feel indebted or anything.) Of course there's no obligation on your part to do that at all. Totally your call.

Congrats on getting pub'd.
 

DancingMaenid

New kid...seven years ago!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 7, 2007
Messages
5,058
Reaction score
460
Location
United States
I suspect, like you, that a lot of these people may not have considered what professional publication really means. However, it's also the case that people in all sorts of fields get pressured to provide free goods/services to people they know. My mom, a seamstress, has been pressured by acquaintances to do free work. I've known lawyers who were bugged to do pro bono work. A lot of people seem to think that knowing someone means that they can get free services or advice.

I think whether or not you decide to give your family copies of the publication is up to you. I would get copies to give to close family members, but I wouldn't feel obligated to do it for everyone. If you don't feel like buying them a copy or giving them a free copy that you've been given, then I would take cornflake's advice and pleasantly tell them where they can find the story.
 

veinglory

volitare nequeo
Self-Ban
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
28,750
Reaction score
2,933
Location
right here
Website
www.veinglory.com
I would not consider showing an immediate family member the work a betrayal of anything. Any more than showing the same people an illustration recently accept for publication (what am I meant to do, hide it in the basement?) If those 2-3 sales are critical to them... well. That's my take on it anyway.
 

Buffysquirrel

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
6,137
Reaction score
694
I wish my family would show that much interest! I remember I showed one story to my father before it was published and he just shook his head over it and said he couldn't understand it*, so I didn't even bother telling him when it was published. Eh.

Although I was chatting with one of my cousins recently and he asked where he could buy the magazine that story's in--but he's a writer, too.

I think this is an area where you've got to draw your own boundaries. I can't afford to buy copies of the magazine for the family, but I don't hound them to buy it, either. Be nice if they would....

* He has an MA in Eng Lit.
 

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
4,810
Reaction score
413
Location
The sovereign state of Baja Arizona
So, some extended family members of mine have asked me to e-mail them the short story I recently sold--my first pro publication--because they are interested and excited and want to read it.

Authors give away gift copies all the time.

I'd be thrilled if my family gave a crap and wanted to read my stuff. I wouldn't dream of charging my own family.

EDIT: On the other hand, if family read my stuff they'd do a lot of wondering about what sort of pervert they've been living with for years.
 
Last edited:

MookyMcD

I go to eleven
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 26, 2013
Messages
1,560
Reaction score
236
Location
Boise, ID
Website
michaeljmcdonagh.wordpress.com
My guess would be that they are trying to be supportive of your work, and don't even realize they are asking something that is potentially inappropriate. Not that the responses here about conflict of interest are bad, at all. I think it's a great way to handle it. But when I go listen to my nephew's band play, for example, I'm doing it almost entirely to show him my support, not because I want him to give me free music.
 

shaldna

The cake is a lie. But still cake.
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 12, 2009
Messages
7,485
Reaction score
897
Location
Belfast
So, some extended family members of mine have asked me to e-mail them the short story I recently sold--my first pro publication--because they are interested and excited and want to read it. I appreciate that I have a supportive (or at least curious) family, but...umm...the request made me incredibly uncomfortable. It would be different if the story was published online and free to read and I could send them a link, but it's not--it was published in print and the magazine is for sale. For me to go around handing out my word document version would be an utter betrayal to that magazine.

I think the problem is people not understanding what it means to have sold a piece of writing to a publisher who is now its distributor. I guess I'm wondering if anyone has dealt with being put in this kind of weird position? I now have to go draft a reply explaining why I can't/won't send them a free copy of the story, and I'm not totally sure how to go about it.

Honestly, I don't see the big deal. I mean, it's not like they are asking for a copy of the magazine or a book or something that is actually going to cost you money. And if they aren't usual readers of the magazine then they aren't costing the magazine money, and if they are usual readers of it then they will still buy it. And they are family, and they are taking an interest, which is more than many folks do.
 

shahrazad

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 22, 2013
Messages
216
Reaction score
13
Location
S. Korea
Authors give away gift copies all the time.

I'd be thrilled if my family gave a crap and wanted to read my stuff. I wouldn't dream of charging my own family.

EDIT: On the other hand, if family read my stuff they'd do a lot of wondering about what sort of pervert they've been living with for years.

Charging family for money wouldn't work for me either. I'd give any one of them that asked a free copy, no question. Although in my case most are ESL and don't read much in English and the rest would want to more because they're nosey and curious rather than support.
 
Last edited:

Cathy C

Ooo! Shiny new cover!
Kind Benefactor
Absolute Sage
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 5, 2005
Messages
9,907
Reaction score
1,834
Location
Hiding in my writing cave
Website
www.cathyclamp.com
Color copies are your friends. :)

Obviously, you want them to buy the magazine, but in some cases it might be hard to find in their area. Just make a color copy of the cover of the magazine, and color copies of the story so that it shows the header and footer (and advertising on the page -- somehow that seems to make it more "real".)

Encourage them to buy the magazine and specifically tell them you copied the cover so they can find the right issue. A lot of people will pick up the magazine just to take it to work and brag you up, and themselves by extension for knowing a real writer. :D
 

Lexxie

Avid reader and lover of fiction
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 29, 2012
Messages
134
Reaction score
12
Location
Europe
Website
unconventionalbookviews.com
I am not an author, so my view is from the opposite side of yours. I do have some friends who have published books, though, and I bought their books without ever asking them for a free copy. But maybe this is because I understand a little bit more of the publishing industry? I hang out here a little bit, and I have a blog, and I realize how important it is to get those sales.

I hope you'll be able to figure out the best way to deal with your dilemma, though, without anyone having any hard or hurt feelings.
 

Putputt

permanently suctioned to Buz's leg
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 10, 2012
Messages
5,448
Reaction score
2,980
If your friend/ family member owns a grocery store, do you get free groceries? If they own a car garage, do you receive free oil changes? Free tune ups? How 'bout Office Depot. McDonalds. Starbucks. Free coffee, food, office supplies?
Nope.
Not bloody likely.
Why?
This is business. No handouts. Could get fired. Could expect this all the time. If I 'do it for you, I have to do it for everyone' classic.
Bottom line: your writing is your business/ earned living. Just like their way of earning a living doesn't mean free handouts to you, neither should it be for them.

Actually, my family members who own businesses give freebies or discounts to family all the time. My cousin, who's a professional chef, made our wedding cake for free (she normally sells them for hundreds of dollars) and to this day often sends cakes to our house for no reason other than "I was trying a new recipe at the restaurant". So if the relationship is such that the family member is often doing me favors or if I'm close to that family member, I would definitely give them free hard copies of the magazine or book.

But family members who I'm not close to and rarely interact with...nah. I'd just tell them they're really awesome for being so interested, but I have run out of free copies, but the magazine or book is available at XYZ.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.