I've had a few great beta reading experiences. But would like one or two more before I start what I hope to be my final revision. I'll gladly swap for: YA/NA any genre, but prefer supernatural/fantasy/paranormal/dystopian, completed drafts that have been edited for grammar, word count 100,000 or less.
My beta style is to be honest and provide in the moment/in text reactions and feedback. I prefer beta partners with thick skin open to constructive criticism. I do not have time to stroke egos, or continually apologize or sugar coat my reviews. But I will always point out what I think is working, along with any areas I feel may need attention.
I'm on my fifth revision. I've worked extensively on plot, conflict, characterization, dialogue and grammar. I have very thick skin. I want to know what is working, but I'm primarily interested in problem areas.
What I'm looking for is the overall big picture. Is the basic premises interesting, does the inciting incident hook you, do you feel immediate sympathy/empathy for main characters, are they likable, why or why not, does the storyline hold your interest, do the plot reversals surprise you, is anything super predictable, confusing or over-explained, is there enough internal conflict (do you "feel" with my characters), is the pacing of the external conflict enough to keep your interest, does the story arc build to a great climax, are you surprised by the climax, does the resolution adequately revolve all conflict leaving you satisfied?? And is there anything else you feel is noteworthy??
Here is a very rough query:
Angels do not exist. Or maybe they do somewhere in Heaven - if you believe that sort of thing - but they do not go walking around middle-of-nowhere-towns like Bellefonte, PA.
At least, that’s what 16-year-old Roxy Lockhart thought before witnessing a negligent, heartless driver hit a dog and leave it for dead. Roxy rushes to aid the injured animal never considering her good intentions would lead her on a perilous, life-altering journey with the dog's owner, Dethen Therone.
Dethen. Dark, withdrawn, infuriating. All Roxy wants is to make sure his dog's okay and to never deal with the stubborn jerk again. But as they exit the veterinary office, they are attacked. Roxy's certain Dethen's mixed up in drugs, when the most awesomely unbelievable event occurs - Dethen unfurls two majestic wings from his back and spreads them wide, their coal-colored plumage lost to the night sky.
This single event parachutes Roxy into a fight for survival. What she witnessed shouldn't have been possible. Angel's wings lie outside the scope of human perception. But her exceptional ability has made her a target, one the monstrous Fallen angels desperately want to obtain.
Lost and alone, Roxy asks Dethen for help. Reluctantly, he agrees, but as the violent past he's been racing to forget catches up with him, Roxy realizes that Dethen - her only hope at staying alive and discovering who she really is - may prove to be her greatest threat.
BOUND BY FATE, is a Young Adult novel complete at 68,000 words. It combines elements of fantasy, suspense and forbidden love and will appeal to readers of blah, blah, blah…
Here is the first few hundred words to give you a feel for my writing.
Roxy Lockhart sipped the whipped topping from her caramel latte and trotted down the steps and onto the sidewalk in front of The BookNook. The sun had set and High Street was alight with old-fashioned lampposts. Roxy breathed deep the humid late June air. Summer was by far her favorite time of year. Across the four-way intersection, catty-corner from the bookstore was Bellefonte’s acclaimed Talleyrand Park. The park entrance twinkled with strands of white lights that reflected charmingly off Spring Creek. She hated living in rural PA, but at times, she had to admit her traditional town had its appeal.
She turned right and continued in the opposite direction of the park. She passed the locals’ favorite pub, just filling-up with the evening crowd, and headed down a side street to her car. She wore her long hair in a ponytail and it bounced as she walked, swaying side to side, mirroring her mood. She spotted her beat-up, old VW and her elation grew. She’d been driving for four months and cherished every second of it. The freedom to go where she wanted, when she wanted. No more sitting home on a Friday night because her mother wouldn’t take her anywhere. No more walking for hours to get somewhere she could drive to in minutes. And the best part, no more taking the bus to school.
Roxy blew across the surface of her coffee and took a small sip, when the squeal of tires caught her attention. In a fraction of a second, as if someone pushed a button on a remote control, the scene in front of her turned to slow motion.
It was a sensation she’d experienced before. Maybe she’d dropped a glass of milk or a delicate figurine and watched as it fell, end over end, before smashing to the floor. In those few moments, from when the object left her hand, before meeting its final fate, she felt as if she could just move fast enough she could stop the tragic ending.
Time slowed and her heart thudded hard against her ribcage. She stood in the middle of the street, the half-moon low in the sky. At the end of the alley, a single old-fashioned lamppost lit up the corner, acting as a spotlight as the tragic events unfolded before her.
Across an empty parking lot, further down the intersecting alley, an oversized cargo van came speeding down the tight, narrow expanse of road, swerving around parked cars and piles of garbage. Her eyes darted from the van to a black dog trotting down the sidewalk, completely unaware that its next few steps may be its last.
Roxy’s jaw dropped wide and she sucked in a breath of panic. The coffee slid from her grasp. The cup smashed to the ground, the hot liquid stinging her legs. She reacted on instinct and dug her flip-flops in, sprinting toward the animal, a battle cry tearing from her lungs.
The dog never acknowledged her fear-fueled screams and continued its oblivious trek into the street. She wanted to cover her eyes, but couldn’t look away. An awful cracking thump, followed by a heartbreaking yelp, pierced the air as the vehicle hit the animal.
Time began to move again. Roxy pushed harder and ran faster, tears filling her eyes, her breath caught in her throat. She fell to the ground next to the injured dog, ignoring the burn of road rash on her bare knees.
“OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod!” She chocked, her hands flailing, tears streaming down her cheeks. Drops of blood littered the alleyway. Her stomach lurched. She didn’t do so well with blood. Concentrate. Don’t look at the blood. Focus on the dog. She took a deep breath and examined the animal. His eyes were open, brows tilted in pain. His breathing was heavy, a heartbreaking whine escaping with each pant.
Anyone interested, please PM me. And thanks for looking!!!
My beta style is to be honest and provide in the moment/in text reactions and feedback. I prefer beta partners with thick skin open to constructive criticism. I do not have time to stroke egos, or continually apologize or sugar coat my reviews. But I will always point out what I think is working, along with any areas I feel may need attention.
I'm on my fifth revision. I've worked extensively on plot, conflict, characterization, dialogue and grammar. I have very thick skin. I want to know what is working, but I'm primarily interested in problem areas.
What I'm looking for is the overall big picture. Is the basic premises interesting, does the inciting incident hook you, do you feel immediate sympathy/empathy for main characters, are they likable, why or why not, does the storyline hold your interest, do the plot reversals surprise you, is anything super predictable, confusing or over-explained, is there enough internal conflict (do you "feel" with my characters), is the pacing of the external conflict enough to keep your interest, does the story arc build to a great climax, are you surprised by the climax, does the resolution adequately revolve all conflict leaving you satisfied?? And is there anything else you feel is noteworthy??
Here is a very rough query:
Angels do not exist. Or maybe they do somewhere in Heaven - if you believe that sort of thing - but they do not go walking around middle-of-nowhere-towns like Bellefonte, PA.
At least, that’s what 16-year-old Roxy Lockhart thought before witnessing a negligent, heartless driver hit a dog and leave it for dead. Roxy rushes to aid the injured animal never considering her good intentions would lead her on a perilous, life-altering journey with the dog's owner, Dethen Therone.
Dethen. Dark, withdrawn, infuriating. All Roxy wants is to make sure his dog's okay and to never deal with the stubborn jerk again. But as they exit the veterinary office, they are attacked. Roxy's certain Dethen's mixed up in drugs, when the most awesomely unbelievable event occurs - Dethen unfurls two majestic wings from his back and spreads them wide, their coal-colored plumage lost to the night sky.
This single event parachutes Roxy into a fight for survival. What she witnessed shouldn't have been possible. Angel's wings lie outside the scope of human perception. But her exceptional ability has made her a target, one the monstrous Fallen angels desperately want to obtain.
Lost and alone, Roxy asks Dethen for help. Reluctantly, he agrees, but as the violent past he's been racing to forget catches up with him, Roxy realizes that Dethen - her only hope at staying alive and discovering who she really is - may prove to be her greatest threat.
BOUND BY FATE, is a Young Adult novel complete at 68,000 words. It combines elements of fantasy, suspense and forbidden love and will appeal to readers of blah, blah, blah…
Here is the first few hundred words to give you a feel for my writing.
Roxy Lockhart sipped the whipped topping from her caramel latte and trotted down the steps and onto the sidewalk in front of The BookNook. The sun had set and High Street was alight with old-fashioned lampposts. Roxy breathed deep the humid late June air. Summer was by far her favorite time of year. Across the four-way intersection, catty-corner from the bookstore was Bellefonte’s acclaimed Talleyrand Park. The park entrance twinkled with strands of white lights that reflected charmingly off Spring Creek. She hated living in rural PA, but at times, she had to admit her traditional town had its appeal.
She turned right and continued in the opposite direction of the park. She passed the locals’ favorite pub, just filling-up with the evening crowd, and headed down a side street to her car. She wore her long hair in a ponytail and it bounced as she walked, swaying side to side, mirroring her mood. She spotted her beat-up, old VW and her elation grew. She’d been driving for four months and cherished every second of it. The freedom to go where she wanted, when she wanted. No more sitting home on a Friday night because her mother wouldn’t take her anywhere. No more walking for hours to get somewhere she could drive to in minutes. And the best part, no more taking the bus to school.
Roxy blew across the surface of her coffee and took a small sip, when the squeal of tires caught her attention. In a fraction of a second, as if someone pushed a button on a remote control, the scene in front of her turned to slow motion.
It was a sensation she’d experienced before. Maybe she’d dropped a glass of milk or a delicate figurine and watched as it fell, end over end, before smashing to the floor. In those few moments, from when the object left her hand, before meeting its final fate, she felt as if she could just move fast enough she could stop the tragic ending.
Time slowed and her heart thudded hard against her ribcage. She stood in the middle of the street, the half-moon low in the sky. At the end of the alley, a single old-fashioned lamppost lit up the corner, acting as a spotlight as the tragic events unfolded before her.
Across an empty parking lot, further down the intersecting alley, an oversized cargo van came speeding down the tight, narrow expanse of road, swerving around parked cars and piles of garbage. Her eyes darted from the van to a black dog trotting down the sidewalk, completely unaware that its next few steps may be its last.
Roxy’s jaw dropped wide and she sucked in a breath of panic. The coffee slid from her grasp. The cup smashed to the ground, the hot liquid stinging her legs. She reacted on instinct and dug her flip-flops in, sprinting toward the animal, a battle cry tearing from her lungs.
The dog never acknowledged her fear-fueled screams and continued its oblivious trek into the street. She wanted to cover her eyes, but couldn’t look away. An awful cracking thump, followed by a heartbreaking yelp, pierced the air as the vehicle hit the animal.
Time began to move again. Roxy pushed harder and ran faster, tears filling her eyes, her breath caught in her throat. She fell to the ground next to the injured dog, ignoring the burn of road rash on her bare knees.
“OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod!” She chocked, her hands flailing, tears streaming down her cheeks. Drops of blood littered the alleyway. Her stomach lurched. She didn’t do so well with blood. Concentrate. Don’t look at the blood. Focus on the dog. She took a deep breath and examined the animal. His eyes were open, brows tilted in pain. His breathing was heavy, a heartbreaking whine escaping with each pant.
Anyone interested, please PM me. And thanks for looking!!!
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