I'm tempted to name something cliche, like maraschino cherries, but I saw a kid chug a whole cup of 'em at a bar mitzvah on Gilmore Girls two nights ago---Gross!---so I'm sort of off them at present. I'd also like to name "pastrami," as sort of a Seinfeld nod---"Yes, I feel pastrami is the most sensuous of all the salted, cured meats!"---but I've been worried I'm getting much to metareferential, lately. So. Ultimately, I'm going to have to go with peanut butter. It's a semi-liquid, a spreadable, as well as a sweet and salty condiment, so its applications are wide-reaching. I won't go into them, because, this being a community of writers, I'm assuming your imaginations can handle the load. However, I feel I must state the obvious, in case anybody does decide to incorporate the finest derivative of G.W. Carver's greatest discovery into their amorous pursuits: use smooth, not chunky, which is quite abrasive. Plus, you'll be picking pieces of peanut out of the strangest places for weeks afterward.
Use in good health
Use in good health
