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Riz&Roz
01-10-2014, 02:49 AM
I have a YA sci-fi. I've done most of the editing with beta readers in my circle, but I wanted some input on my query. I'm on the first draft stage, so I know it might be pretty meh, but any help would be great. Here it is:

Seventeen-year-old Ada doesn't know her last name. Or what tie she has to the world other than that of Ark, her I'm-the-better-male-version-of-you-mwuahahaha twin. She doesn't know who her parents are, just that they are Hybrids, genetically superior human beings that live in the Higher Society. If it's even called that.

Clearly, there is a lot Ada doesn't know. But what she does know is that graduation isn't only her way out of the simple void of the walled agricultural town of Cerdema—one of the four essential villages designed to provide the basic needs of the Higher Society that in turn regulates them—but her way into awareness, the possibility that she will learn who she is and get to meet her parents. The one requirement? That she posses the Hybrid gene, something she only has a 50% affinity for. The one problem? She knows that she is not radiant—that she is not one of them.

Dominant. Recessive. These are the lower level classifications of humanity that she knows are probably a better fit for her. But can she even trust her instincts when graduation takes her to a foreign land with a twisted, pig-tailed hybrid-potential tester, holographic everything, and the Hollows, a wasteland separating the villages that resulted after something called the Genetic Genesis? It doesn't stop her.

But what starts as a quest for answers to questions Ada probably asks too much of, ends with her getting lost in the Hollows, newly informed on her classification, but more confused than ever. Here, she learns that love doesn't have to be biological. Even the superior have a fatal flaw. And there is another world outside of genetics.

If she can make it there alive.

WRITTEN IN THE LEAVES is a YA science-fiction novel complete at 99,000 words with series potential. I believe it will appeal to audiences who enjoyed The Maze Runner series and Gattaca.

And that's the gist of it. Will add more of my credentials later. Thanks!

Stiger05
01-10-2014, 02:58 AM
Hi Riz! Welcome to AW. On first blush I think this needs to be punchier, with more voice, and less questions. You'll get more help on it in Query Letter Hell over in Share Your Work (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=174), however, you need 50 posts before you can post your own stuff. I recommend reading other queries there, especially the successful queries thread, and commenting/critiquing to get to that 50. Good luck!

cornflake
01-10-2014, 03:02 AM
Hi -

You may want to take some time to read the FAQ, located on the left, in the bar toward the top of the page.

There's a place to share work for critique, including a specific place to work on queries, Query Letter Hell, under the Share Your Work section (password: vista). You can read other threads, read all the stickies with lots of information, and offer your opinions of others' work, but you cannot post work for critique until you have 50 posts under your belt. I'm sure a mod will be along shortly to lock this, but you can ask one for help if you like or have questions as well.

Riz&Roz
01-10-2014, 03:06 AM
Thanks guys. Yeah, I'm new to the site. Made an account in July when I was working on my currently shelved piece. Writing the query for my current ms, and just realized that there is a "share your work" area. Will keep giving feedback to others on queries and such. Thanks!