View Full Version : How's this Query Letter Look?

01-07-2014, 09:20 PM
Dear Mr. or Mrs _________

Two different worlds, two similar conflicts, one shared fate. What lengths will mankind go to in order to survive?

In the span of a heartbeat, Aaron Coglinís best friend died, his career with OmegaCorp ended and Humanity became penciled onto the Endangered Species List. Mankind would need to depend upon the surviving Governments and Corporate Conglomerates setting aside their differences to confront the ultimate threat to our survival as a species. The peculiar circumstances of the incident and the nature of space travel provide Aaron and Earth a decade-long stay of execution. Will it be enough?

On Planet Fenix, the Mayor of the small town of Rochen ignites a rebellion against an invading army in search of powerful Ancestral Artifacts. Meanwhile, Abby, a head-strong junior Keeper, convinces the Council of Keepers, immemorial custodians of Ancestral knowledge, to come of the shadows and pick a side in a conflict between armies and magi that will decide the fate of both worlds.

Harberís Folly is a 110k word Sci-Fi/Fantasy fiction hybrid (literally half and half) novel that alternates chapter-by-chapter between the genres. Itís a tad on the grittier side with an emphasis on battle and action sequences. I hold a B.A in Ancient History from the University of Minnesota with a focus on ancient Generals, strategies, tactics, technology and logistics. This would be my debut novel. Chapters and/or a complete manuscript are available upon request.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

My info Here

By the way, also looking for SF-Fantasy Beta readers, if the query sounds enticing and you can be constructively critical.

01-07-2014, 09:26 PM
xmach, I think you're about to get an earful from the Mods any moment now. But take it to heart. Everyone is here to help you. What you posted doesn't go here. And it's too soon for you to start posting a query. Get to know AW and members first.

01-07-2014, 09:29 PM
xmach, you need to have at least 50 posts before you can post your work for crit. I suggest you hop on over to Query Letter Hell, get up to 50 posts by critiquing the queries there, and then post your query when you're ready.

Fwiw, your current query makes quite a few newbie mistakes which are talked about on QLH.

01-07-2014, 09:58 PM
Yes, and yes. The SYW forum is here (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=26). Password is vista. While you're building up to 50, read every sticky thread so you'll be prepared when it comes your turn.