View Full Version : MG Synopsis Beta Needed

01-05-2014, 11:04 PM
Happy New Year to all. While researching agents, I realized that a lot of them require a synopsis to accompany the query. I don't want to skip these agents because I'm too scared to write one, so I did. Now I'm looking for someone with a keen editorial eye to give it a look.

Things I'm looking for:

1) Flow
2) Tense changes
3) Logic Issues
4) Length
5) Overall reader intrigue
6) Plot

It's 3 double-spaced pages (approx 980 words). I wish to cut that down a bit too.

If you're interested, please PM me. The summary is as follows:

Eleven-year-old David Chaplin gets dragged to a new town for the third time in a year, and he can’t figure out what keeps his skittish father on the move. Now a slew of garishly dressed weirdos are watching his house at night, leading David to the truth: his father’s a magician and a thief.

He’s been on the run since stealing Halifac’s Hand—fortunetelling cards that have a remarkable power over death and resurrection. David’s father’s old stage-rival wants back what was stolen, and intends to use the cards to kill David’s father, as he’d once killed his mother.

The cards are the key to bringing his mother back to life, and David is just as bent on finding out where his father hid them as his rival is. But the rival magician isn't the only one standing in his way. His own overbearing father doesn't want him caught in the quarrel, and threatens to wipe his memory of magic, and all the family secrets he’s learned.

Aided by transporting broom closets, marvelous marbles that can mend memories, and the clues within a curious combusting message, David secretly tracks down Halifac’s Hand. Only, the rival magician forces David to make a harrowing decision: keep the cards and bring his mother back, or destroy them, and save his father’s life.

Those who have beta'd my ms are more than welcomed to give the synopsis a look. I didn't post this on the SYW forum because I wanted privacy. :) I do apologize if that seems a bit counterintuitive.

ETA - Please only PM me if you've been involved on the boards for more that just a handful of posts.