Not Sure What the Problem Is

For the last seven months, I've been experiencing a sort of odd bout of writer's block I can't quite understand. I have spoken to multiple people about it, gotten their opinions, and their suggestions, and yet no one--not even myself--has been able to pinpoint the answer. I've been trying to come up with an explanation for why I have lost my ability to write and even come up with ideas, but despite narrowing it down to a few things, I've yet to stumble upon a solution. Of course, I don't expect this to right itself overnight; however, it's been longer than half a year and there is no sign of it improving. In fact, it's only gotten worse over time.

I've been reading a lot of the threads in this forum, which offered great insight and one comment in particular piqued my interest. It was about finding expectations had become higher. I feel like this is something that applies to me, yet I have no idea how to go about convincing myself not to be so harsh. Let me just say now that I've tried everything from taking a break and working on something else to simply not writing anymore. The sad thing is that I think about writing every day. I think about it when I wake up and when I go to bed, which is usually when I would do some quick scribbles in the notepad.

At this point, I'm not expecting anyone to be able to tell me how to fix this issue. I feel like it will be something that resolves itself on its own in time, but its always nice to get feedback from others who have experienced this.

L. Y. said:

I don't know your situation, but the only thing that helped with mine was time and perseverance (mostly time to let everything I learned sink in).
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At this point, I feel time is about the only option for me. I do read a lot, and I do help to critique other's work, though not necessarily on this forum. These are things I've been doing for ages, and yet nothing productive has come from it. In fact, the only thing that reading novels and helping beta/edit has done is make the block and my frustration even worse, which is disheartening because apparently it helps a lot of other people.

SianaBlackwood said:

I think I know how you feel, so I guess I should start by pointing you to my thread on the self-sabotage monster. (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=280785)

Some things I've tried, with varying success:

1. Short stories. I've discovered that I have absolutely no idea how to write them and that making the attempt triggers the 'block' much faster than anything else, but I like them for that reason. Decreasing the length of the cycle means it takes that much less time to figure out if something works or not.

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Yup! I did short stories a while ago when I was in deep and it helped for maybe a month or so, but I fell back into the block and haven't been able to churn out anything more than an idea.

2. An exercise called 'daily plot bunnies'. The idea of it is to come up with a new story idea every day for a number of days - in my case, I've done it over 20 day and 14 days. Most of mine were utter crap, but towards the end I found a couple I'd like to pursue. Yes, that really is a small handful of ideas I don't hate out of 34.

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This is something I started doing when I first experienced the block. I've had very limited success with this as of late, like...within the last half year. It's really taken a turn for the worse.

3. Rewriting with a specific aim in mind. I had this 4-book series where books 1 and 3 were in first person, so I 'translated' the other two to make a complete set. It wasn't easy, but most of the time it was something I could completely ignore unless I had the urge to write. Then it used just enough energy to satisfy me, but not so much I'd run into the block

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Tried this, too. I feel like I'm going in circles, though. I know what I want to pursue when I rewrite, omit, add, etc. But I always end up frustrated and then the nothingness returns.

4. Worldbuilding, in the sense of writing descriptions and wild speculation for a place you've written about. I usually use this as a sort of 'freewriting' exercise, so it's weird stream of consciousness stuff that might start with trees and end up with some kind of weird set of rules about shaking hands.

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It was weird, but I managed to do this for a science fiction story idea I had in mind. I created this plot, a world, characters and some of their background. I even talked to some friends about it, and we moved things around, got into discussions to find reasoning behind what was going on in the story, so on and so forth. When it came time to the part where I would start writing, I drew a blank every single time, even if I wasn't planning on turning it into a story.

5. Phase outlining, which to me is sort of like writing out the absolute bare bones of a story with no worries about style or voice or making it read like a real book because, hey, it's just an outline. Those things aren't important. Unfortunately, phase outlining has a tendency to feel like I'm bouncing off a massive rubber wall - I can run up to a certain point as many times as I like, but figuring out what happens beyond a certain point seems to be impossible.

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You know, even if it's a bare bones outline of a story, I still manage to bite off my head. I can always find something, big or small, to criticize, and then it spins into this immensely frustrating struggle between what my heart really wants and what my brain has convinced itself is terrible, won't work, doesn't make sense, doesn't sound right, yadda yadda, so on and so forth.

Short version: Find things you can do that satisfy the creative urge but carry little or no risk of triggering the 'blocked' feeling. Maybe you can fill out character sheets or rewrite song lyrics or something. Trying to force yourself to do things you know trigger the block is just going to push you further into the darkness.

No idea if any of this will help you. I think it's slowly lowering the walls of my personal Pit of Suck, but I still have a long way to go before I have a chance of climbing back out.

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I hate to pick apart the suggestions, but I have tried every single one of them and not one has given me any measurable success. It's why I think what L.Y. said about just giving it time is my only option at this point. And, of course, doing whatever feels right, even if I can't produce anything I can consider a tolerable read.

L. Y. said:

I'm sure you've probably thought of this, considering the care and detail you've put into your original post, but could other factors be contributing to your block?

I know that when I'm overworked or stressed (from life, family, etc.), the words come harder. Or are you putting too much pressure on yourself to write? That was another one of my issues.

(You don't have to answer, just some things I thought of after my initial post)

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Yeah, that was one of the things I was trying to figure out. In 2011, I had a bit of a break down after graduating from graduate school, which was a stress-filled nightmare in itself. I was diagnosed with panic disorder and then put on the typical regiment of medications. Fortunately, I got it treated with CBT, and I now have a good hold on it in that I'm no longer landing myself in the ER thinking I'm having a heart attack, but I feel like--on a panic intensity scale of 1 to 10--I'm constantly teetering on the verge of a 2-3.

I'm not certain if this was the main reason why I haven't been able to write anything, but it certain seems like it could be the culprit. The problem is, I don't know what to do about it.

L. Y. said:

I'm not a doctor, and providing medical advice is not allowed on this forum.

That said, and if it's not too forward of me: Have you thought of seeing a licensed therapist to see what might be causing your constant state of panic? I have a friend who was diagnosed with panic disorder, and therapy helped him.

Or maybe ask your doctor if the side-effects of your medication might be affecting you (I have no idea of the side-effects of medication)?

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Yeah, that was what the CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) was for. I know why it happens, but it's a matter of constantly working on it and trying to minimize the anxiety I feel. I'm no longer on medication, though, which is great. And I'm doing a lot better than I was two years ago. If I ever have a panic attack, they are rare and not as violent as they used to it.

I'm certainly not asking for medical advise here, though. I've been treated and I have the tools to handle it. But I think my writing suffered a massive hit as a result.

SianaBlackwood said:

I think I need to apologise. I didn't want to give the impression that I thought my suggestions were a guaranteed road to success or anything like that. I have writer's block - have had it to a greater or lesser extent since somewhere towards the end of 2012, I think. That's well and truly enough time for me to think maybe 'writer' is just something I've been rather than something I am. That list of suggestions was stuff I've built myself up to attempting, not stuff I think all writer's block sufferers should be able to do. I hoped it was more positive than just "yeah, I've been down here in the dark for about a year and a quarter and I still haven't found that damn magic bullet". Sorry for how my post actually came out.

...I probably should crawl back under my rock now.

Only read this bit:

1. If you want to write, keep looking for things you can safely do in your current psychological state.

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No, no! Not at all. Honestly, don't feel so bad about it. I wrote this thread going in knowing I wouldn't be receiving a quick fix, or a fix for that matter. And your post did not come across as if all writers should be able to get out of their writing block funk, so no harm done. I appreciate the suggestions very much.

triceretops said:

I'm listening with rapt attention this. Going through it myself. I'm having problems with ideas mostly. Nothing is coming up worth the effort. I know I'm striving too hard. What I need is a stiff couple of drinks and a "I don't give a shit attitude" to at least start the process, coupled with an "I don't care where it's going" mind-frame. I don't drink, so this could be a riveting, if not clumsy experience.

tri

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I don't drink either, but sometimes I wonder if I should start. xD Probably not the best idea in my situation.

Undercover said:

If you're not under contract, don't force yourself to write if you're feeling terrible about it. Part of the whole writing process for a writer is to enjoy writing. Why do it if you don't enjoy it? Do something else for a while. It's the not writing, never wanting to write that gets scary. And hey, it gets really spooky when I stop for months at a time, not writing anything. Cause there has been times like that, where I don't write for months. I think I've gone as much as 3 months straight. But during that time I'm still doing the contracted stuff, cause I have to, it's mandatory.

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I am not under contract, nor have I ever been. I write as a hobby, which is both good news in that I don't necessarily need to write anything. But bad in that I wish I was writing something, because it never leaves my thoughts. The will to want to write is there, and yet I can't do it.

yellowhammer said:

I've felt that way before too. I would wake up thinking about writing and feel guilty when I didn't. Sometimes, I felt like the intense pressure I would put on myself caused me to have the reluctance to even get started. This year I set attainable and sustanaible (hopefully) goals. My daily word count goal is 250. So far, I've exceeded it every day. Anyway. Good luck!

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I've tried setting much smaller goals and limited my expectations, but this lack of pushing myself and taking it easy has only made it worse. I am now at the point where I only write through RP, which is good because if I couldn't write anything, I think I'd go insane. It's different, however, than writing by yourself. I like playing off other people because I can still manage to bring some creativity to the table. I guess I should just focus on that for now.

Wilde_at_heart said:

That sounds absolutely awful, but good to hear treatment has been effective.

I don't know if you've hung around on some of the writing exercise and prompts here, or in the hook me in 200 threads, but perhaps participating in those might help? http://absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=33

Even the fun, silly things like the forum ban game might hopefully spark something...

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I've not done it on this forum, but I have tried on several others very recently. It's not produced anything, unsurprisingly. I can give it another go, of course, as I don't have much else to lose.

aus10phile said:

Coming to this thread way late, but I have 2 suggestions...

1. Exercise
2. Art projects

Exercise really clears out your head to get your creative juices going. I know there's science behind this, but I don't have a link to post. If you just google exercise and creativity you'll find lots.

Playing around with visual art engages your right brain, which is where you want to be when you're creating. (Your left brain is the side that evaluates) You can even do something visual that relates to your book. I took a writing class where the instructor had us make a collage about our book--old-school style with a bunch of pictures cut out from magazines. We weren't supposed to think about it, just pick up pictures that spoke to us and make the collage. Then we did free-writing about our books using the collage as inspiration. Here's a blog post from the instructor about it: http://howtoplanwriteanddevelopabook.blogspot.com/2010/01/creative-collages-way-to-get-deeper.html

I think if your writing well is dry, you have to find ways to refill it that aren't necessarily writing or reading. Travel is another great way to get inspired if you can afford to do it.

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I'm going to have to dismiss the exercise suggestion because I hate exercising. I loathe it, and only do it to try and keep myself relatively healthy. xD I'm sorry to be so dismissive of it, but a lot of people who tell me that exercise makes you feel "good" may be right about how it works for them, but it only makes me feel bad, tired, and out of breath (I have asthma).

As for the art suggestion, I think I might want to try that, even if it's not for the book itself. I took a lot of art classes in school from K-12 all the way into my time in college, but I haven't been very artistic lately aside from writing, and we all know that isn't working out too well for me. I'm just going to have to get off my lazy bum and go get some art supplies. Painting sounds like it would be fun to do, but I work 6-7 days a week, and it's irritating to try and run errands when you've got to work, too. Next week is a little slower, though, so I'll try and remember to get something then.

Catharyn1963 said:

Hi to all. I'm new here, but want to add my two cents in hopes of helping.

I've just rebounded from a case of block and it wasn't fun to suffer through; I truly empathize with everyone who's gone through such a confusing, nonproductive experience.

After lots of soul searching, lots of trial and error, what I found about my own inability to compose was this: nothing I wrote was good enough to suit me, pleased me enough to continue on. I am my own worst critic and self edit my work to death on my best days, and I finally realized that these hang - ups not only caused my block, they WERE my block.

Still have difficulty in just letting go, but am doing much better in not criticizing myself and expecting to see perfection on my monitor, when I look up.

Work-in-progress, indeed.

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I know how that is, Catharyn, and being my own worst critic is part of the problem. I'm at the point where I'm so deep into it that I am lost and cannot find a way out. Those of you who've been through it before should understand that it's much easier said than done, and that's where my mind seems to stand on the matter.

Introverted Dragoon said:

As writers I know we don't entirely like to share, but it has been my fix. Any projects for me that got anywhere when I got writer's block I shared with my brother and a good friend of mine. Both provided feedback and I would get in debates with them about where I was stuck till lightning struck and I had an idea. I know you said you had friends look at the bones of a story, but what about the project you're stuck on? Have them read it, critique and maybe push you to find where you want to go from there. I've been dealing with writer's block for another reason, and--while I know no one wants to hear "I know how you feel"--I find I am more encouraged to write when I know my brother is going to be on leave long enough to get to look at what I'm working on simply because I value his opinion. In short, maybe find a human bounce-back in someone you trust.

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I love to share my work with those who are willing to read it, but I don't know anyone who is willing to do that anymore. The ones who did look at it weren't writers themselves, nor did they have experience with the alpha/beta process. After a certain point, they got so lost that they started making jokes, which meant I couldn't rely on them. So I'm left to find strangers on the internet to share my work with. And you know how difficult it can be to try and find someone who's willing and who has the time time want to do that. I know I'm over 50 posts here, but I'm reluctant to bother considering my terrible, terrible luck with finding a reader for feedback and critique in the past.

summontherats said:

Ah, goodness, I went through the same thing. Still am, kind of. (Ha, I guess you know that, since you said the same thing on my post!)

All last year, I couldn't do anything. I tried short stories, writing exercises, outlines... Nothing worked. Outlines felt awful. I couldn't come up with enough ideas to flesh them out, and everything I did come up with felt cliche. I tried to write them out anyway, and I ended up hating every word of it. Writing exercises did nothing. Short stories felt agonizing, because I still had to come up with ideas for them and if I couldn't come up with one idea, how was I going to come up with lots short, self-enclosed ideas?

I took a break. I stopped writing in October, started reading like crazy, and made an account here. After a few months, I finally feel a little better. I finally have a new idea. I actually want to try again. (And this is bizarre--before this, I wrote 6 stories back-to-back. I never just crashed before. I never stopped writing. It was scary.)

Of course, now I'm scared to death to write this new idea. What if the same thing happens? What if I get halfway through it, fall out of love with it, and end up not being able to write again? What if I have to make this idea last, since I might have a hard time coming up with the next one? I know I can't think that way, because it's self-defeating. But whenever I let my guard down, it slips in.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I wish I had an answer. At this point I'm hoping I can write this project and that it will be fun to write. I am trying to will myself to be relaxed. This is not a masterfully thought out plan. But what else is there to do?

(Other than, of course, to try to put to use all the excellent advice I got in my own post, and from the other people agonizing with similar issues on this board.)

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I know how it is, as you can tell, since we seem to be sharing the same issue to an extent. I've done everything you have, from short stories to just taking a break from the one I was working on to come up with another. I've done oneshots. I've done RPing, which actually helped for a little while. Now it's the only kind of writing I'm still capable of doing, and I cling to it for dear life. I've tried to find betas/alphas to help bring in a different point of view, but they kept bailing on me. I'm hoping now maybe I can either start to feel a little bit better about what I have written in the past, and is now on hiatus, or come to terms with what this is.

There came a time when I had to stop writing and go on a break, and it's been over seven months since that time. There doesn't seem to be any hope in sight, but there isn't much I can do about it either.

summontherats said:

You know, that's kind of eerie. I used to roleplay a lot.

RP was fun! I don't think I've ever been as excited for my own stuff as I have been for a scene.But at the same time, I always felt like I came away from it with nothing. When I was into it, I was really into it, and it ate every minute of free time I had. And in the end, I wouldn't even have something to show for it except for pleasant memories and near-unreadable logs. (The social aspect was nice, though.)

But if you can come up with scene ideas, it's not like you're incapable of being creative, right? Is there anything you can mooch from RPing? A type of character you like or a dilemma you think is fascinating that you can co-opt and personalize into something unique?

But still, I am so sorry. I know it's a deeply disheartening situation to be in, and I wish I had a magic pill to fix it.

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I could do that in the beginning and sort of work off what I managed to plot with my partner, but now the idea of taking anything from it into my personal writing seems and almost is impossible. I can't even come up with ideas much less use it as a segue into my individual work.

I do read a lot, so it's not like I'm slacking off in that avenue. At first, picking up reading again made me sad because I knew I couldn't produce this kind of material, or any material for that matter. Now, it's just like...meh. I read because I enjoy it, but it has never helped me get out of this slump I'm in.