I want to quit

midazolam · Dec 24, 2013

I've written 52,000 words of this thing, and for the last bit of it, every word has been drudgery. I sit down and can't muster any enthusiasm whatsoever for the project. I've been forcing words, trying to get somewhere, but all I want to do is start something new. As you can probably guess, I've got a stack of unfinished manuscripts on my hard drive (most around the 10-15,000 mark, but some as many as 50K).

I used to have no problem at all finishing manuscripts, but now I really struggle. Out of my last ten attempts to write something, only one was completed - and that one is mired in multiple rounds of revision with my agent. I don't know if this is writer's block, frustration, emotional issues, boredom, or a general sense of futility given my many publishing ventures (and failures) in the past. After multiple agents, multiple projects out on sub, and no book deals, you start to lose hope.

So I don't know - should I give up, or push onward? Give it a rest for a while? My agent wants to know what else I'm working on, and I don't know if I should tell her about this project I've come to despise.

Or maybe it's not so bad. I don't know. I got some very positive feedback on the first 5 pages, which spurred me along for a while, but now my motivation is running dry again. I just wish I knew what the problem was.

mccardey · Dec 24, 2013

I'd suggest taking a little break, with an end date. Sometimes you just get a bit written out and need to regroup. Read a lot, go for walks, listen to music. Let things mull. A week or a fortnight won't break anything

T Robinson · Dec 24, 2013

Fact: Many people get depressed this time of year. Combined with your assaults on the manuscripts, being worn down is a pretty common event.

Fact: You've been on this forum for over three years and have kept steadily working.

My opinion and conclusion is that you do indeed need to start a new project, whether it be a letter to the editor, a short story, on an essay on the ontological significance of the whichness of when. After a break, look at some of the debris of previous projects. Maybe something will change in your perception and you can continue or maybe you will wonder why you did not put it down sooner.

Either way, your frustration, etc, bleeds onto the screen. Go to SYW and critique someone. One never knows where inspiration will strike. Good luck.

mccardey · Dec 24, 2013

T Robinson said:
Go to SYW and critique someone. One never knows where inspiration will strike. Good luck.

What a terrific suggestion!

midazolam · Dec 25, 2013

Thanks, all. I'll give that a try. I often go over there and critique someone's work, only to delete before posting because I feel like it's too honest (harsh?). Maybe I'll try selecting for people who can handle an honest critique.

Nimyth · Dec 25, 2013

Step Back

I find when I hit a place that I dislike what I am writing-- I have discovered it is because I 'lost touch' with my characters. I have found that when I re-read those passages later- the 'voice' is all wrong. Sometimes 'brainstorming' from my characters perspective helps when I get stuck that way.

Undercover · Dec 25, 2013

A lot of times when this happens to me something new and fresh needs to happen with the ms. Take a big u-turn if you have to, add a character or kill one off. Have your character do something out of character, if you know what I mean. Have them go on a trip to another state or country. Do something drastic. OR cut the last 5K words that you think drove you into boredom and start that scene and guide it into a totally different direction.

Change your font, the size..put it in your favorite color. Force yourself to look at it differently. Change characters names, change the title (nothing's written in stone until it's well published in print.)

Also PRINT your ms. (maybe not all of it.) but sections you'd like to work on. Print it out, go somewhere nice, the library, outside to the park? get yourself offline. If you haven't done this already, it might help you see it differently.

The problem is you don't. Not anymore. I too suggest time off,let your eyes breathe new things again. But the other exercises above might help you too.

Good luck. Stay with it.

spikeman4444 · Dec 30, 2013

You have an agent, so you're doing better than me. Try setting a goal for yourself. My own personal goal is to secure an agent by the end of 2014. It's been my goal for about 4 years now. For you, I would suggest mapping out a plan for what you want out of writing this upcoming year. If you're not feeling your current project, then maybe take some time to see if you can find inspiration for a new project. You obviously have trouble seeing things through to completion. Maybe after some time off you can come back to this 50k project and finish. But again, start with mapping out goals. See what you want out of your writing this coming year, and work towards that.

gdossetto · Dec 30, 2013

This isn't meant to be a smart alec remark...but I think if you really wanted to quit your manuscript you wouldn't have posted here saying you did. I agree with someone on adding in a surprising element into your story that shouldn't fit there. I managed to get a brief discussion on English dueling pistols into my story which is one of my favorite passages of my whole manuscript. It was truly creative, not just in the sense of writing but of "creating" within the book if that makes any sense.

I think that sometimes we get trapped by the rigor of our planned story and then writing becomes a chore, a jail, rather than the truly unique outlet it is. Writing should be a blast, not a job.

Pushingfordream · Dec 30, 2013

Take a break. Reread it later with new eyes.

yellowhammer · Dec 30, 2013

I have a few unfinished 10-15,000 word manuscripts myself, so I empathize. I don't know if this would help, but one thing that reinvigorates my WIP is to take the best aspects of those unfinished manuscripts and work them in. Maybe it's just a line or two, but there is something rewarding about not just letting all that work go to waste. Also, step back and reassess. When I've gotten close to the 50,000 mark, I inevitably get one a one-way track. Comfort and complacency rears its ugly head. I know it's easier said that done, but try imagining your work differently. Maybe it's time for a new character to shake things up. Or maybe it's time for an alien invasion. Don't be frightened to take your manuscript off the proverbial "traveled path" and see where it leads. Don't quit. And good luck.

Old Hack · Dec 30, 2013

I often get into a bit of a trough when I'm around the 50k mark. I give myself the morning off, change tracks a bit by reading through what I've got already and making notes about what I need to add or change, and that usually does the trick.

rwm4768 · Dec 30, 2013

Here's some encouragement.

http://nanowrimo.org/pep-talks/neil-gaiman

DKRisDKR · Dec 31, 2013

midazolam said:
Thanks, all. I'll give that a try. I often go over there and critique someone's work, only to delete before posting because I feel like it's too honest (harsh?). Maybe I'll try selecting for people who can handle an honest critique.

You can be honest without being cruel or viewed as 'that guy'.
The harshest editors I've had were the ones that improved my work...but nobody likes to be told their baby is ugly.

About the other.

I keep anywhere from 1 to 3 projects going all the time. If I hit a spot where I need a break, I can switch over to another story line.

Another thing I've done is to just write a short story. That gets parked, and later in can be expanded into the longer story or added to another project...or made into a book of shorts to expand your back trail.

If you write, you are going to hit the wall at some point. Give yourself an out rather than worry over it.

and Have Fun! Because when it stops being fun, you - and possible future readers, will (hate) take a pass on your work.

midazolam · Jan 14, 2014

Has anyone here been in the position where you desperately want to write, but you can't? That's how I feel. I stepped away from the project. Critiqued other writers. Tried to get into reading again (used to be a voracious reader, but have really struggled lately). And I'm on vacation this week, so my mind is relatively calm. Sort of. I have a very stressful job, so I realize this may be contributing to my state of mind. But overall, I feel okay. Not too stressed. Not depressed or anything.

Just for the fun of it, on a flight cross-country last week, I made a document titled Failures, in which I tried to remember all the (finished) novels and screenplays I've written in the last five years. Came up with 27. Twenty-seven! Fifteen novels and 12 screenplays. I think I'm just about creatively spent.

I miss writing, I do. But I seem to have this nagging voice in my head, now a scream, telling me that writing is a ton of hard work, and in my case, it's all for nothing. Do I really want to put in all that time, just to add it to my impressive list of failures? Is anything worthwhile anymore? Why do I even write? Have I been deluding myself all this time into thinking I actually have talent? Yes, I've had three agents, but that doesn't mean much without a sale.

I've been approaching this point (ie. the end of the road) for a while now, and I think I've finally hit it. I can't even come up with potential ideas anymore (I used to be full of ideas). I'm going on sub next month, and I can't even begin to think of "next book" possibilities. I can't even get excited about going on sub!

Oy. Sorry. Thanks for listening.

Hyperminimalism · Jan 14, 2014

midazolam said:
Has anyone here been in the position where you desperately want to write, but you can't? That's how I feel. I stepped away from the project. Critiqued other writers. Tried to get into reading again (used to be a voracious reader, but have really struggled lately). And I'm on vacation this week, so my mind is relatively calm. Sort of. I have a very stressful job, so I realize this may be contributing to my state of mind. But overall, I feel okay. Not too stressed. Not depressed or anything.

Just for the fun of it, on a flight cross-country last week, I made a document titled Failures, in which I tried to remember all the (finished) novels and screenplays I've written in the last five years. Came up with 27. Twenty-seven! Fifteen novels and 12 screenplays. I think I'm just about creatively spent.

I miss writing, I do. But I seem to have this nagging voice in my head, now a scream, telling me that writing is a ton of hard work, and in my case, it's all for nothing. Do I really want to put in all that time, just to add it to my impressive list of failures? Is anything worthwhile anymore? Why do I even write? Have I been deluding myself all this time into thinking I actually have talent? Yes, I've had three agents, but that doesn't mean much without a sale.

I've been approaching this point (ie. the end of the road) for a while now, and I think I've finally hit it. I can't even come up with potential ideas anymore (I used to be full of ideas). I'm going on sub next month, and I can't even begin to think of "next book" possibilities. I can't even get excited about going on sub!

Oy. Sorry. Thanks for listening.

Yup. Yup. and Yup.

I love writing. It was the one thing that I looked forward to doing when I woke up. I keep notebooks around for when I get that jolt of creativity and just need to write something down. I used to write every single night before bed. There was even one point where I could work on two stories at once and put out a chapter a week for both. It's not like that anymore, though.

I'm not certain, but for me it is now exactly how you describe it. I do desperately want to write, but there's something holding me back. It feels physical, emotional, and mental. There's literally a block inside preventing me from writing. I, too, have stepped away from the story (it's been several months now). I've alpha'd/beta'd, started reading a lot of books again. I did other stuff like drawing and listening to music.

I am employed with two part-time jobs, so taking vacations is nearly impossible unless I specifically request time off. Working 6-7 days a week makes it difficult to go anywhere on a whim and I never get two+ consecutive days off. Despite all that, I do think I know why I'm having such a hard time writing, but it seems I have not been able to overcome that yet. I've tried everything anyone I've ever talked to about this has suggested. There's no "cure" or "quick fix".

It's been one of the most frustrating and depressing things that's happened in my life, sadly enough. It probably wouldn't sound like that to most people, but not being able to do something you love so much is painful. You're not the only one experiencing this, but I'm sorry you have to, too.

Taylor Harbin · Jan 14, 2014

I understand your pain and frustration, but I also want to say that you've achieved more than you think. 15 novels? Good gracious, man! Most people who say they want to be writers can't finish a single one. I have yet to break into the industry in any way, let alone get three agents. Step back and be grateful for what you've been able to do. Your efforts haven't been wasted.

My grandpa died on New Year's Day. Before that, I had been writing short stories, finished novel in October, and had started a new one. Now I simply can't get back into working. I'm in consuming mode, not producing.

Perhaps your brain needs to "refuel." Ann Rice did a video on this subject. Believe it or not, most writers can and do take breaks. Reading is good. Read for its own sake. Don't try to force it. Indulge in the things you love and put it as far from your mind as possible. Even Hemingway had times when he had to say, "No sweat. I've done it before and I'll do it again."

TerryRodgers · Jan 14, 2014

When ever I get stuck, I kill someone.

Conte Remo · Jan 14, 2014

I empathize with you :/ I'm in the middle of another bout of depression and I've lost interest in everything, including the draft I've been working on for two months (29K words).

EricJames · Jan 14, 2014

This may not help, but you really have to fall in love with the idea of your novel before it even reaches the stage where you can't get half way through it. If that's been the case and you still feel the way you do then I wouldn't know what to tell you. But you can't just like the idea, you have to love it more than anything to the point that you're excited even thinking about bringing it to life. If you don't feel that strongly about, you're probably writing the wrong book or it needs a serious change in direction. Just my 2 cents.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 14, 2014

I don't think anything is more important than learning to finish everything you start. I don't think you need to start yet another new project, I think you need to stop writing completely. Don't write a word for the next few months. Give it at least three months. Six would be better, but three often does the job.

Come back fresh. . .or learn than writing still depresses you, is still tough, something you don't really want to do.

arkanis50 · Jan 14, 2014

We all have good and bad days... sometimes those days string along into weeks or months. You have to just keep going. Take a break. Reread some of your early writing and see if there's anything in there that reignites your desire to finish or carry on. I've been working on my first novel for over 6 years on and off... I think about all the time wasted if I just gave up now.

Papaya · Jan 15, 2014

You are not alone in that feeling. I don't know if it's something every writer goes through or not, but plenty of us are out there who can understand what you're going through.

You sound like you're burned out to me. At least that's how I felt when I got burned out. I agree that a long hiatus could do wonders to help you rediscover why it is you want to write in the first place. I would say give yourself at least six months to not stress out over writing. Don't do it; don't talk about it; try to not even think about it. Time away will allow you to recharge, and possibly deal with any underlying issues that might be blocking you creatively.

gingerwoman · Jan 15, 2014

I'm puzzled because three out of five publishers I sent my first novel to accepted it, (I just sent it to the best publishers, I knew of, who accepted unsolicited manuscripts.) but despite that I feel completely insecure about my current (second) book, and ....yeah I've been totally reluctant to write or progress since I hit 50,000 words, but I've managed to progress at a snails pace to 68,000.

I think it's because I've planned this all out, and I want this big magical, supernatural ending, and I'm intimidated by my own ideas and how to make them manifest on the page.

I have literally dozens of other ideas, all of which I'd rather write now, but I won't let myself.

arkanis50 · Jan 15, 2014

gingerwoman said:
I think it's because I've planned this all out, and I want this big magical, supernatural ending, and I'm intimidated by my own ideas and how to make them manifest on the page.

Throw it at the page and retool it. Even if it's not ideal or exactly what you imagined. A page full of mishmashed ideas that you can rework is still better than a blank page!

I want to quit

midazolam

mccardey

T Robinson

Born long ago, in a different era

mccardey

midazolam

Nimyth

Undercover

I got it covered

spikeman4444

The snozberrys taste lke snozberrys

gdossetto

Pushingfordream

Writing about life!

yellowhammer

Old Hack

Such a nasty woman

rwm4768

practical experience, FTW

DKRisDKR

Work as play

midazolam

Hyperminimalism

I'm a Bolerian

Taylor Harbin

Power to the pen!

TerryRodgers

Conte Remo

EricJames

Optimistic

Jamesaritchie

arkanis50

Papaya

Unfold your own myth. - Rumi

gingerwoman

arkanis50