View Full Version : (YA) getting a restraining order against an ex-boyfriend

12-15-2013, 07:42 PM
Hey all!

I need your help once again. Here's the situation:

17 yr old MC (female) has an ex-boyfriend (17 yrs old) who has been stalking her and has just threatened to kill the MC's new LI if he sees her with him again. For the past few weeks, the ex had stopped harrassing/following her after she and her parents reported his behavior to the school administration (they all go to the same school) and threatened to go to the police if he continues to bother her (though the ex gave his parents and the school admin a very different story of what was going on when they were called in for a meeting, so it's a definite case of he said/she said kind of thing). Then out of the blue (current time), she receives a very disturbing email with photographs of slaughtered rabbits (it's relevant to them from when they were a couple), but the email is from an anonymous acct. She calls him at 5 in the morning (knowing it had to be from him) to confront him about it and of course he denies knowing anything about it and tells her about the email she sent him. When she checks her sent box, she sees that an email from her acct was sent to him at 1:17am. He broke into her account (she never thought to change her password) and sent a very incriminating email from her to his acct to make it seem like she's the one who's stalking him and desperate to have him back. At the end of the phone call, he tells her that if he sees her with this other guy again that he will kill him. She tries calling him back many times after he hangs up on her.

So, my questions are:

If she were to go to the police right now, how seriously will they take her case/situation without concrete evidence of his actions (the ex has covered his ground pretty well) and what are the realities of what can be/will be done at this point? I read that it is quite difficult (and expensive) to prove email break-ins/fraud, etc and that you'd have to get an investigator/lawyer involved to deal with proving that and it can take some time.

Can she get a restraining order (I know if she does get one, she has to have an adult with her since she's a minor) and how long would it take to get one? From what I've read it can take days to weeks (months?) to get one since they have to get a court day and plead their case to a judge. And even then, from what I understand, if they don't have sufficient evidence that the victim is being harassed/stalked according to the definition of what constitutes harassment/stalking, that they can be denied the restraining order.

Would she be eligible to get an EPO simply on her word. He has no record of previous violence, though he's had a few fights with other students in jealous outbursts but none of them reported anything to the school or authorities. The only ones who can back up her claim, are the LI (who was also one of her best friends) and her other best friend and her boyfriend (whom the ex fought with in a paranoid jealous rage).

Would the police question her ex or go to his home? Speak to his parents? The school?

What could/would happen in this situation? I know the laws are different from state to state, but just a general idea would help a lot.


NM. I've done more research and conferred with my hubs who knows a lot about the laws and procedures and used some personal experience from a past situation and I "think" I'm good. Thanks anyway!

If a mod sees this, please feel free to delete this thread.