Absolute Radio

Status
Not open for further replies.

William Haskins

poet
Kind Benefactor
Absolute Sage
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
29,097
Reaction score
8,846
Age
58
Website
www.poisonpen.net
absolute radio, an internet radio network featuring on-air talent from absolute write, is scheduled to launch in the near future.

you are program director and need to fill 24 one-hour slots of compelling and entertaining talk radio.

i'll start:

midnight to one a.m.
ray's house of love, hosted by maestrowork
advice on writing titillating prose and cashing in on your writing skills with the opposite sex.
 

Perks

delicate #!&@*#! flower
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 12, 2005
Messages
18,981
Reaction score
6,933
Location
At some altitude
Website
www.jamie-mason.com
If I'm not mistaken, 11pm to midnight is "The Witching Hour" - we'll have to turn it over to Patti, Carole and scfirenice for hexes, spells and inspiration to dance naked in the moonlight.
 

poetinahat

say it loud
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 12, 2005
Messages
21,851
Reaction score
10,441
That makes the ten-to-eleven shift perfect for Lantern Jack's Soliloquy Hour.
originally slated as 'Interview Hour' -- format to be discussed. They might turn out about the same, eh?
 

DeniseK

Sockpuppet
Banned
Joined
Aug 19, 2005
Messages
692
Reaction score
196
2 AM to 3 AM, Denise's Lovelorn hotline, advice on relationships, dating, marriage and how to spot losers within the first hour of meeting a member of the opposite sex.
 

reph

Fig of authority
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
5,160
Reaction score
971
Location
On a fig tree, presumably
9 to 10 p.m.: Grab that teddy bear, wrap yourself in a blanket, crawl under the couch, and prepare for
~Insert dissonant organ chord here~
Howlin' Haskins's Horror Hour!

Featuring–
• William Haskins demonstrating sadistic laughter
• William Haskins reading from his own works of darkness and evil
• William Haskins reading from classic works of darkness and evil
• William Haskins reading your thoughts​
An hour with Haskins! Guaranteed to make you wander the hallways screaming in languages you don't even speak!

~Insert second dissonant organ chord here~
 

poetinahat

say it loud
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 12, 2005
Messages
21,851
Reaction score
10,441
reph said:
~Insert dissonant organ chord here~
I'm thinking Screamin' Jay Hawkins.
 

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
43,746
Reaction score
8,652
Location
Los Angeles
Website
www.amazon.com
8 p.m. - 9 p.m. The FAMILY hour:

TIO Political, religious, and cultural wars. BYOF -- bring your own flame-throwers.
 

Maryn

Sees All
Staff member
Super Moderator
Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
55,429
Reaction score
25,447
Location
Snow Cave
Oh, I'm such a coward. I thought of one, but I worry about hurting someone's widdle feewings...

Tell me veinglory's got an erotica slot, though.
 

robeiae

Touch and go
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 18, 2005
Messages
46,262
Reaction score
9,912
Location
on the Seven Bridges Road
Website
thepondsofhappenstance.com
Of course, 12 to 1 pm would have to be:

Grammatically Speaking with Reph

Can you think of a better way to spend your lunch hour than calling in to a talk show and gettin' spanked for your choice and use of words? I predict huge Arbitron ratings and crazed fan clubs springing up all over the country.

Rob :)
 

Shwebb

She's the creepy-looking dude
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 3, 2005
Messages
3,379
Reaction score
1,403
Age
55
Location
following the breadcrumbs back to AW
The "I Already-know-it-all" Show, with Optimus. It's a call-in show, where people get to express their opinions on a variety of subjects, and Opti gets to tell 'em why they're wrong.
 

WerenCole

Funny what? Do I amuse you?
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
2,212
Reaction score
581
Location
The Hub
6pm-7pm- Dinner Drive with Chef Weren-

In this show the personal chef of the absolute write water cooler will be creating some fascinating food as he discusses cuisine and counter culture politics with a guest panel, absolute foodies who will be absolutely love to eat.

Schedules guest panelists-
PoetinaHat- to discuss head ware as dinner attire and the current fashion trends in the hat industry as it pertains to culinaria.

StoryGirl- will be discussing the comparison between kraft macaroni and cheese and a bechamel sauce. Also in consideration for future shows regarding the benefits of hard tak as a bludgeoning instrument and how Tennesee could become the next great cultural culinary mecca.

Perks- For moral support of the chef as well as witty remarks concerning the problematic issues of the muppet chefs.

William Haskins- Just need someone to say that everything sucks. . . and he's looking for a free meal.
 

Yeshanu

Elf Queen
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
6,757
Reaction score
2,410
Location
Up a Tree
Weren! You must have Ray on your show at some point, to discuss his simply divine bug soup...
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 2, 2005
Messages
13,538
Reaction score
4,652
Location
Same Psychosis...different day.
3am - 4am

Judge Jaycinth: I'll be judge and jury for any one who calls in with a jerk problem. You tell me what your jerk did, and I'll tell you where they should go and how to send them there. I'll also host a small 10 min segment on how to cream consultants.
 

Dawno

Shiny!
Super Moderator
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
11,261
Reaction score
3,279
Age
66
Location
someplace around here, anyone seen my keys?
robeiae said:
One to two am:

Dawno's Trek Fest. All things Star Trek. It follows Ray's HOL, that way all the Trekkie geeks can get all wound up for the show.

Rob :)
My first show will be all about who was the best Trek Captain. That'll keep the phones busy - do we have a 'bleep' button?
 

PattiTheWicked

Unleashing Hell.
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
3,999
Reaction score
1,249
Website
www.pattiwigington.com
6 am - 7 am: The TrumanCoyote WakeUp Hour! Tune in to Truman on your way to work. Who needs those other stations and their sophomoric "morning zoo" antics?
 

aka eraser

Fish Whisperer
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
6,795
Reaction score
1,732
Location
Gone around that next bend.
Website
www.frankbaron.com
4 am - 5 am : Fishing With Frank. Recorded live, replete with the sounds of snapping twigs, stumbles, muttered curses, splashes, floundering and vows to bring a flashlight next time.
 

reph

Fig of authority
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
5,160
Reaction score
971
Location
On a fig tree, presumably
Jaycinth said:
Judge Jaycinth: I'll be judge and jury for any one who calls in with a jerk problem. You tell me what your jerk did, and I'll tell you where they should go and how to send them there.
My copy of the schedule says your cohost is Carole.
 

louisgodwin

Back from the dead
Poetry Book Collaborator
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 11, 2005
Messages
1,610
Reaction score
548
7-8 pm

Primetime with Louis

I'll play loud and obnoxious heavy metal and tell dirty jokes, and the encourage listeners to call in so they can sling their own humorous filth on the airwaves too.
 

Optimus

Banned
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
1,854
Reaction score
356
Location
Gator Country, FL
Shwebb said:
The "I Already-know-it-all" Show, with Optimus. It's a call-in show, where people get to express their opinions on a variety of subjects, and Opti gets to tell 'em why they're wrong.

I like the way you think.

Actually, no I don't.

And here's why...
 

Pthom

Word butcher
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 12, 2005
Messages
7,013
Reaction score
1,207
Location
Oregon
7:30 AM to 7:35 AM
Recorded silence by Pthom
 

kristie911

Happy to be here
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 17, 2005
Messages
4,449
Reaction score
2,460
Location
my own little world
5pm - 6pm: Kristie's Live Drive at Five!
Where I play the most annoying hip hop remixes known to man and make up the traffic reports causing horrible traffic jams.
 

Lantern Jack

My kitten knows kung-fu!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 20, 2005
Messages
1,244
Reaction score
234
Location
Minneap
9-10 p.m.: Poet In a Hat's Metrical Moment, featuring readings by Seamus Heaney from Poet's latest collection of verse: Is It Cannibalism If You're Eating the Dingo Who Ate Your Baby?

:)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.