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William Haskins
02-27-2006, 07:42 AM
absolute radio, an internet radio network featuring on-air talent from absolute write, is scheduled to launch in the near future.

you are program director and need to fill 24 one-hour slots of compelling and entertaining talk radio.

i'll start:

midnight to one a.m.
ray's house of love, hosted by maestrowork
advice on writing titillating prose and cashing in on your writing skills with the opposite sex.

robeiae
02-27-2006, 07:47 AM
One to two am:

Dawno's Trek Fest. All things Star Trek. It follows Ray's HOL, that way all the Trekkie geeks can get all wound up for the show.

Rob :)

Perks
02-27-2006, 08:04 AM
If I'm not mistaken, 11pm to midnight is "The Witching Hour" - we'll have to turn it over to Patti, Carole and scfirenice for hexes, spells and inspiration to dance naked in the moonlight.

poetinahat
02-27-2006, 08:07 AM
That makes the ten-to-eleven shift perfect for Lantern Jack's Soliloquy Hour.
originally slated as 'Interview Hour' -- format to be discussed. They might turn out about the same, eh?

William Haskins
02-27-2006, 08:08 AM
ah, good call.

DeniseK
02-27-2006, 08:10 AM
2 AM to 3 AM, Denise's Lovelorn hotline, advice on relationships, dating, marriage and how to spot losers within the first hour of meeting a member of the opposite sex.

reph
02-27-2006, 08:45 AM
9 to 10 p.m.: Grab that teddy bear, wrap yourself in a blanket, crawl under the couch, and prepare for

~Insert dissonant organ chord here~

Howlin' Haskins's Horror Hour!

Featuring–

• William Haskins demonstrating sadistic laughter
• William Haskins reading from his own works of darkness and evil
• William Haskins reading from classic works of darkness and evil
• William Haskins reading your thoughts
An hour with Haskins! Guaranteed to make you wander the hallways screaming in languages you don't even speak!


~Insert second dissonant organ chord here~

poetinahat
02-27-2006, 08:54 AM
~Insert dissonant organ chord here~I'm thinking Screamin' Jay Hawkins.

maestrowork
02-27-2006, 09:32 AM
8 p.m. - 9 p.m. The FAMILY hour:

TIO Political, religious, and cultural wars. BYOF -- bring your own flame-throwers.

Maryn
02-27-2006, 07:00 PM
Oh, I'm such a coward. I thought of one, but I worry about hurting someone's widdle feewings...

Tell me veinglory's got an erotica slot, though.

robeiae
02-27-2006, 07:04 PM
Of course, 12 to 1 pm would have to be:

Grammatically Speaking with Reph

Can you think of a better way to spend your lunch hour than calling in to a talk show and gettin' spanked for your choice and use of words? I predict huge Arbitron ratings and crazed fan clubs springing up all over the country.

Rob :)

Shwebb
02-27-2006, 09:08 PM
The "I Already-know-it-all" Show, with Optimus. It's a call-in show, where people get to express their opinions on a variety of subjects, and Opti gets to tell 'em why they're wrong.

WerenCole
02-27-2006, 09:19 PM
6pm-7pm- Dinner Drive with Chef Weren-

In this show the personal chef of the absolute write water cooler will be creating some fascinating food as he discusses cuisine and counter culture politics with a guest panel, absolute foodies who will be absolutely love to eat.

Schedules guest panelists-
PoetinaHat- to discuss head ware as dinner attire and the current fashion trends in the hat industry as it pertains to culinaria.

StoryGirl- will be discussing the comparison between kraft macaroni and cheese and a bechamel sauce. Also in consideration for future shows regarding the benefits of hard tak as a bludgeoning instrument and how Tennesee could become the next great cultural culinary mecca.

Perks- For moral support of the chef as well as witty remarks concerning the problematic issues of the muppet chefs.

William Haskins- Just need someone to say that everything sucks. . . and he's looking for a free meal.

Yeshanu
02-27-2006, 09:21 PM
Weren! You must have Ray on your show at some point, to discuss his simply divine bug soup...

Jaycinth
02-27-2006, 09:35 PM
3am - 4am

Judge Jaycinth: I'll be judge and jury for any one who calls in with a jerk problem. You tell me what your jerk did, and I'll tell you where they should go and how to send them there. I'll also host a small 10 min segment on how to cream consultants.

Dawno
02-27-2006, 09:38 PM
One to two am:

Dawno's Trek Fest. All things Star Trek. It follows Ray's HOL, that way all the Trekkie geeks can get all wound up for the show.

Rob :)My first show will be all about who was the best Trek Captain. That'll keep the phones busy - do we have a 'bleep' button?

PattiTheWicked
02-27-2006, 09:39 PM
6 am - 7 am: The TrumanCoyote WakeUp Hour! Tune in to Truman on your way to work. Who needs those other stations and their sophomoric "morning zoo" antics?

aka eraser
02-27-2006, 09:45 PM
4 am - 5 am : Fishing With Frank. Recorded live, replete with the sounds of snapping twigs, stumbles, muttered curses, splashes, floundering and vows to bring a flashlight next time.

reph
02-27-2006, 11:51 PM
Judge Jaycinth: I'll be judge and jury for any one who calls in with a jerk problem. You tell me what your jerk did, and I'll tell you where they should go and how to send them there.
My copy of the schedule says your cohost is Carole.

louisgodwin
03-01-2006, 10:25 AM
7-8 pm

Primetime with Louis

I'll play loud and obnoxious heavy metal and tell dirty jokes, and the encourage listeners to call in so they can sling their own humorous filth on the airwaves too.

Optimus
03-01-2006, 11:23 AM
The "I Already-know-it-all" Show, with Optimus. It's a call-in show, where people get to express their opinions on a variety of subjects, and Opti gets to tell 'em why they're wrong.

I like the way you think.

Actually, no I don't.

And here's why...

Pthom
03-01-2006, 11:31 AM
7:30 AM to 7:35 AM
Recorded silence by Pthom

kristie911
03-02-2006, 12:45 PM
5pm - 6pm: Kristie's Live Drive at Five!
Where I play the most annoying hip hop remixes known to man and make up the traffic reports causing horrible traffic jams.

Lantern Jack
03-02-2006, 01:19 PM
9-10 p.m.: Poet In a Hat's Metrical Moment, featuring readings by Seamus Heaney from Poet's latest collection of verse: Is It Cannibalism If You're Eating the Dingo Who Ate Your Baby?

:)

oswann
03-02-2006, 01:54 PM
7-9 am


The World According to Os.

Serious geo-political debate interjected with wry comments from the Os.




Os.

arrowqueen
03-03-2006, 02:07 AM
The Celtic Twilight Hour (Some point in the small hours of Saturday morning, after I've been on the bevvy.)

Aimed at those of celtic origin, this programme will cover such vital topics as:

a) Fashion tips on how to wear your sporran.

b) Traditional recipes such as shortbread; haggis, neeps and tatties; and mince and doughballs.

c) Knitting your own kilt: is it a good idea?

d) True stories - such as why your great-great-uncle Angus fled to America after the unfortunate incident with the lady sheep.

All interspersed with stirring celtic folk tunes, such as 'Ye Cannae shove yer Granny aff a bus.' and 'My Maw's a Millionnaire (have a banana)'

astonwest
03-03-2006, 02:10 AM
Tell me veinglory's got an erotica slot, though.
That would seem rather personal to me...