View Full Version : Beta for YA thriller

12-03-2013, 12:09 AM
I've found some betas, so all set for now. Unless you know about rowing, in which case I'd still love to hear from you!

I'm looking for a couple of betas for my YA thriller, MINDSWEPT. It's 70,000 words and has been through a couple of revisions.

I'm especially hoping to find somebody who knows about rowing, although non-rowers are welcome too :) If you are a rowing person and don't want to read the whole book, I'm really just looking for expert eyes on two specific scenes (10ish pages total) and can just send you those.

Here's the pitch:

Something went very wrong with seventeen-year-old Nessa's memory removal procedure. Ever since that trip to the shady neuroscience lab, she can't stop stealing everything in sight. And she's pretty sure she hallucinated a creepy old woman wearing a bunny mask in her bedroom last night.

Nessa's parents haul her back to the lab, demanding answers, and an assistant named Amir pulls her aside. He confesses that he accidentally gave her somebody else's memory -- which sounds insane, considering she doesn't even remember meeting him. Amir tells Nessa the memory is some kind of encrypted information, and the client who was supposed to get it just turned up dead. To cover up their mistake, the lab director is planning to scramble Nessa's brain.

Nessa begs her parents to take her home, but they insist that she let the lab director "fix" her. Becoming a vegetable isn't an option, so Nessa runs away with Amir. She'll figure out what's hidden in her mind and expose the lab herself. But the details are buried deep, and every time she gets close, pieces of the memory she had erased -- screeching tires and a boy's head smashing her windshield -- start coming back. She can't face it.

But she needs to face it, because that old lady in Nessa's bedroom wasn't a hallucination. She knows exactly what's in Nessa's brain and she's willing to kill again to get it.The opening in SYW is here (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=272215).

I'm happy to swap, and am open to pretty much any genre except for really hard sci-fi/fantasy, which I don't tend to read and won't be much good at helping with.

Thanks in advance!

ETA: There is a fair bit of swearing in there, just in case you're bothered by that.

12-04-2013, 09:30 AM