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View Full Version : Beta Needed-YA fantasy-Willing to Swap



mmallico
11-27-2013, 09:30 PM
I have a YA fantasy that I feel could benefit from a read from a beta. The first chapter can be found in the Science Fiction/Fantasy of Share Your Work, though I think that version is a little older than the current one. I would greatly appreciate any honest feedback and I would be willing to swap. It is 97,000 words and I have posted a link to the first chapter and the WIP query pitch is pasted below.

For genres, I pretty much like all but Romance or literary.

Alannian, a thirteen-year-old elf, knows searching for Thurzil, his parents’ killer, could only lead to trouble. Thurzil may have helped the humans fight Alannian’s people, but Alannian desires something he never thought he would.

He wants to be more like Thurzil.

Thurzil is everything Alannian is not: cunning, strong in dark magic—and not afraid to get his hands bloody. As Alannian searches for an edge, scores of ghosts—his own past lives—offer the solution. They claim he is the incarnation of a powerful magical being and they offer him the same power. They only demand he use it to end the war and take his place as the keeper of peace in the land.

Alannian isn’t one to listen to the demands of dead people, but when Thurzil reveals he is going to invade his home, Alannian won’t step aside. He will use his magic his way to stop him and save his people, even if he must follow Thurzil’s path. Alannian promises he won’t become like Thurzil, but he is sinking fast.

He will kill Thurzil.

He hopes his means will justify the end, or it could mean the end of who he is.

mmallico
12-13-2013, 08:18 AM
I am also willing to swap. Personally, I love fantasy, sf, horror, thriller or suspense. No erotica, romance or gory stuff. I have also revised the current bio and uploaded a new part of my first chapter. The link in the first post will get you there.

little_e
12-13-2013, 11:43 AM
Maybe I'm just blind, but I don't see the link?

Taylor Kowalski
12-13-2013, 12:39 PM
Perhaps you meant to link to this? (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=215894)