Getting presents for people who don't want anything...

buz · Nov 17, 2013

Most of my family members are fully able to buy whatever they want when they feel like it. (Well, such things as I'd be able to afford, anyway.) Most of them also don't want many tangible things, or else would rather choose and buy their own things. They don't really have specific hobbies or interests I can aim at. We all exchange lists to make it simple, but their lists are all SOOOooo boring and maddeningly practical and it makes me sad to limit myself just to those, because IMO gift-giving should be at least partially about stupid pointless whimsy.

Problem is, outside the boring lists, I'm totally lost. I mean, Christmas has been going on for a while, and I'm kind of tapped out on ideas at this point. I've been searching all day and haven't found much that inspires me and now I'm just all dejected about it. I just...would it kill my family to be INTERESTED in things?? ANY things?

Pthbtthptht.

Anyone else get stuck on this every year? What do you do? Any good websites with interesting gift ideas for a browsing person who just has no idea what to look for? (I have mainly been scouring etsy today...and not getting anywhere...)

Ramshackle · Nov 17, 2013

I found robot dinosaur Christmas jumpers on Amazon today. :heart:

But yeah, common problem. No interests at all? Perhaps get them something that introduces them to a new hobby - like collecting airsick bags (there's an online museum for it!) or knitting breasts (apparently an octogenarian in Sussex does this - Google has done nothing but enrich my life).

I think making DIY mini-hampers is a nice way to go, and often do so for people. Include things like chocolate, bourbon, fluffy socks, a book or DVD and small toy (things like parachute toy soldiers and whoopie cushions often go down surprisingly well).

You're probably aware of them, but my top sites for gifts are here:

Firebox
IWOOT
Thinkgeek

I'd also recommend, if you end up settling for vouchers, gift card mazes. You can get some great, endlessly frustrating little 3D mazes to lock money and vouchers in. They're also reusable - fantastic for locking a friends keys or other such small items in.

buz · Nov 17, 2013

Ramshackle said:
I found robot dinosaur Christmas jumpers on Amazon today.

But yeah, common problem. No interests at all? Perhaps get them something that introduces them to a new hobby - like collecting airsick bags (there's an online museum for it!) or knitting breasts (apparently an octogenarian in Sussex does this - Google has done nothing but enrich my life).

I think making DIY mini-hampers is a nice way to go, and often do so for people. Include things like chocolate, bourbon, fluffy socks, a book or DVD and small toy (things like parachute toy soldiers and whoopie cushions often go down surprisingly well).

You're probably aware of them, but my top sites for gifts are here:

Firebox
IWOOT
Thinkgeek

I'd also recommend, if you end up settling for vouchers, gift card mazes. You can get some great, endlessly frustrating little 3D mazes to lock money and vouchers in. They're also reusable - fantastic for locking a friends keys or other such small items in.

Oooooh yay! Thankyouthankyou!

(I am not aware of hardly any websites, being bad at the internet and stuff.

So that alone helps immensely.)

shadowwalker · Nov 17, 2013

Unfortunately, I'm one of those people who make out boring, practical lists.

Things on it might indeed be things I can afford, but I just never get around to getting them, or I find something else I need more. So yeah, they're practical, but still a treat.

The biggest drawback for me getting stuff "off the list" is that I often discover how little my family knows me.

slhuang · Nov 17, 2013

I don't do Christmas gifts, because I always get overwhelmed and self-hating if I try. And I am pretty horrendous at gift-giving at other times, too. And I hate receiving gifts most of the time because I hate clutter and I'm desperately trying to un-clutter my life with stupid THINGS. So anyway, where was I . . .

In situations like you describe, when people don't want things (and I have many of these people in my life other than me), I do one of two things:

1) Gift them experiences instead. Take them somewhere, get them tickets to something, even just promise some sort of fun day trip. Or promise them some other use of your time, like coupons for something you are uniquely (or un-uniquely but still usefully) skilled at.

2) Spy on them in every conversation and when they say, "Hmm, I think that thing's cool!" go and write it down and buy it and then five months later when they've forgotten about it give it to them as a gift.

Or you could, y'know, just send them a boob leech. I love mine . . .

Though for serious, if I were on your Christmas list, what would knock me out is if you wrote me a card or letter or something about me and our relationship and all the things we'd done together that year in your delightfully bizarre and creative style. That's something I would, like, kill for, and I'm betting it would make me laugh and cry and want to give you a hug and all those things that are so much better than getting an asparagus cooker.* But I dunno, maybe all your friends and family are too boring . . .

* I don't even know what an asparagus cooker does. Cooks asparagus, presumably. Do I know what I'm talking about? Probably not.

ap123 · Nov 17, 2013

Another vote for Thinkgeek if you're looking for fun, off list gifts.

That said, I like getting things I need, because whether I have the $ or not, I always feel stupid guilty buying anything that's just for me. Like pj's.

Not everyone is the angst driven loon that I am, but if you have moms on your list, I know I'm not alone, either.

buz · Nov 17, 2013

shadowwalker said:
Unfortunately, I'm one of those people who make out boring, practical lists. Things on it might indeed be things I can afford, but I just never get around to getting them, or I find something else I need more. So yeah, they're practical, but still a treat.

The biggest drawback for me getting stuff "off the list" is that I often discover how little my family knows me.

Oh--just to be clear, I always get something on the list.

I just...add things to make it less of a structured and unsurprising exchange, I suppose. Because I'm a dick

So the list part is easy. I just feel weird when Mom hands me some ridiculously expensive thing like she always does even though I tell her not to and I'm like "um, here's that candle you asked for..."

...yuh.

I much prefer "Here's that candle you asked for, and also, I got you a ring made out of a melted-down quarter that has your home state on it" or something. If that makes sense...?

MaryMumsy · Nov 17, 2013

We don't do gifts too much. Dad is getting new bathrobe, if I can find one he'll like.

We do a gift exchange with MIL, SIL, BIL, and nephew. Each person gets one item, max price $15, that would be suitable for most of the group. We pick in age order, youngest to oldest. If you really like the gift someone ahead of you got, you can steal it, and then they have to pick another. Downside to this is that I almost always end up with the gift intended for MIL, which she doesn't want. :Shrug:

One thing I could always count on was that Mom would give me new dish towels. She's been gone almost ten years. I finally broke down a few months ago and bought some for myself.

MM

buz · Nov 17, 2013

slhuang said:
I don't do Christmas gifts, because I always get overwhelmed and self-hating if I try. And I am pretty horrendous at gift-giving at other times, too. And I hate receiving gifts most of the time because I hate clutter and I'm desperately trying to un-clutter my life with stupid THINGS. So anyway, where was I . . .

Yes, well, there's that. But our family needs to do the THINGS.

In situations like you describe, when people don't want things (and I have many of these people in my life other than me), I do one of two things:

1) Gift them experiences instead. Take them somewhere, get them tickets to something, even just promise some sort of fun day trip. Or promise them some other use of your time, like coupons for something you are uniquely (or un-uniquely but still usefully) skilled at.

They don't like experiences either.

Well, no. I have done some of that in the past. Tickets and outings and the like. I'm not sure what I could do that's new...hmmrmrmrmg. I gave my mom a sappy painting one year that I did and she like sobbed all day about it and I really can't ever top that

I've done all the really good stuff already...

Maybe it doesn't have to be all new and different. I dunno. They would probably be happy enough if I did repeats. My own standards are too high

ETA: wait, I just thought of something for somebody, I think.

Yaaay

2) Spy on them in every conversation and when they say, "Hmm, I think that thing's cool!" go and write it down and buy it and then five months later when they've forgotten about it give it to them as a gift.

OMG PREPARATION AAAAH

Or you could, y'know, just send them a boob leech. I love mine . . .

MERRY CHRISTMAS MOOOMM

Though for serious, if I were on your Christmas list, what would knock me out is if you wrote me a card or letter or something about me and our relationship and all the things we'd done together that year in your delightfully bizarre and creative style.

Oh sweet fuck you want me to EXPRESS FEELINGS????

*hides and won't come out*

ap123 said:
Another vote for Thinkgeek if you're looking for fun, off list gifts.

That said, I like getting things I need, because whether I have the $ or not, I always feel stupid guilty buying anything that's just for me. Like pj's.

Not everyone is the angst driven loon that I am, but if you have moms on your list, I know I'm not alone, either.

Mom's got no problem with that, fortunately. Well, fortunately for her.

Fruitbat · Nov 17, 2013

Maybe fancy food like Hickory Farms, cashews, chocolates, wine... it's all over the place at Christmas time in pretty packaging. Even boring people eat, right?

slhuang · Nov 17, 2013

buzhidao said:
Yes, well, there's that. But our family needs to do the THINGS.

Oh, erm, just in case it wasn't clear, my intro there was intended as a criticism of myself as being unsuitable for answering your question, not a criticism of your family for doing presents.

I'm given to understand that I should be better at doing Christmas presents and that it's a bad thing that I'm not (some of my friends give them to me, and then I feel all sorts of guilty).

usuallycountingbats · Nov 17, 2013

These websites are your friend:

http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/

http://www.fab.com

http://www.etsy.com/

It is highly likely that on one of those three, you will find said ring made out of a melted down quarter....

usuallycountingbats · Nov 17, 2013

Oh, and I don't know if you can get these kinds of things in the USA, but in the UK we have all kinds of cool 'subscription food' sites, which is our fall back option for the parents (who just buy themselves stuff they want). So far they've had a 12 month curry spices by post subscription, 12 month sausages by post subscription, 12 months of in season recipe spices....see where I'm going with this?!

Kitty Pryde · Nov 17, 2013

Socks? Socks are like the clichéd lousy gift to receive, and maybe I am turning into a super boring old person but...nice socks are really expensive! And they're really cozy and warm, and they make you feel festive if you secretly wear them under your boring work clothes. Socks are the bomb!

usuallycountingbats · Nov 17, 2013

Oh, look.... http://www.etsy.com/uk/market/state_quarter_ring?ref=listing_tag

http://www.etsy.com/uk/market/state_quarter_ring?ref=listing_tag

ZachJPayne · Nov 17, 2013

I'll agree that Etsy is the go-to place for cute and crafty stuff, when you have no idea what to get people.

Generally, I'm lucky that most of my Christmas shopping is covered with a bag of Charcoal briquettes. Saves money et tout ca.

ajaye · Nov 17, 2013

Ramshackle said:
I found robot dinosaur Christmas jumpers on Amazon today.

I'd also recommend, if you end up settling for vouchers, gift card mazes. You can get some great, endlessly frustrating little 3D mazes to lock money and vouchers in. They're also reusable - fantastic for locking a friends keys or other such small items in.

Ooh can I jump in and ask if you have a link for these mazes? What a great idea

ishtar'sgate · Nov 17, 2013

ap123 said:
Another vote for Thinkgeek if you're looking for fun, off list gifts.

That said, I like getting things I need, because whether I have the $ or not, I always feel stupid guilty buying anything that's just for me. Like pj's.

Not everyone is the angst driven loon that I am, but if you have moms on your list, I know I'm not alone, either.

Nope, you're not alone. That's me too. My daughter is a peach and knows that so I always receive something I need and want but would never buy for myself.

Ramshackle · Nov 17, 2013

ajaye said:
Ooh can I jump in and ask if you have a link for these mazes? What a great idea

The place I originally got them from was Firebox, however they don't seem to do them at the moment.

Amazon (UK) have a version here that looks similar to what I had at a glance. You can also get game/DVD size ones if I recall correctly.

Caitlin Black · Nov 17, 2013

Damn, now *I* want a ring made out of a quarter from my home state! Well, we don't have quarters here, so a 20c piece would do just nicely.

Damn you Buz, making me want all the things! :tongue

Seriously, though, I don't think I have any extra advice that someone else hasn't already given. While my family do buy themselves whatever they want that I could afford, making things difficult, they don't exactly give me a list of boring options or anything...

What I normally do is entertainment products. Like, books, CDs and DVDs. I think one year I bought a few art supplies for mum (she paints). But generally it's books or DVDs.

Why? Well, because I have a general idea of the genres they like, so I can go hunting for items in those genres that I can be pretty sure they don't already have. They tend to buy for themselves the "popular" authors in those genres for the most part, so if I can find an up-and-coming author or an unpopular-for-no-good-reason author or DVD, then that becomes a present.

This year, I'm being insidious. Mum read a paranormal romance series recently, and enjoyed it, so I've bought her another paranormal romance series. Mwuhaaahhaa! I'm spreading the fantasy novels far and wide!

*Ahem*

So yes. What about entertainment stuff? Or are they too boring to enjoy being entertained?

Brightdreamer · Nov 17, 2013

When all else fails, make something.

Every year, I make ornaments for family members. I usually give them with candy or nuts or other goodies. They tend to be themed; one year, I did paperclay seashells (because there was a family trip to the ocean), and I did canopic jar ornaments last year in honor of the King Tut exhibit that came to town.

The best part about a customized Xmas ornament is that not only do they have to pretend to like it, but they can't sell it - they're stuck with it, for life! HAHahahaha...

(Speaking of, this year's ornaments are languishing, half-finished, in my workshed... gotta get crackin' on those things.)

buz · Nov 17, 2013

Originally Posted by Fruitbat

Maybe fancy food like Hickory Farms, cashews, chocolates, wine... it's all over the place at Christmas time in pretty packaging. Even boring people eat, right?

True...

Though food always has its own delicate issues as well. Hrmrmrm. Some ought to be safe, though!

Originally Posted by usuallycountingbats

These websites are your friend:

http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/

http://www.fab.com

http://www.etsy.com/

Yay moar websites!

slhuang said:
Oh, erm, just in case it wasn't clear, my intro there was intended as a criticism of myself as being unsuitable for answering your question, not a criticism of your family for doing presents. I'm given to understand that I should be better at doing Christmas presents and that it's a bad thing that I'm not (some of my friends give them to me, and then I feel all sorts of guilty).

Oh, uh, well, in case it wasn't clear, I was poking fun at the highly material and shallow nature of our house's personal Christmas traditions, which we rather embrace and mock at the same time...

Every time your friends give you things, you should compose erotic poetry in their honor. And read it out loud. In public. That oughta stop that nonsense.

usuallycountingbats said:
Oh, and I don't know if you can get these kinds of things in the USA, but in the UK we have all kinds of cool 'subscription food' sites, which is our fall back option for the parents (who just buy themselves stuff they want). So far they've had a 12 month curry spices by post subscription, 12 month sausages by post subscription, 12 months of in season recipe spices....see where I'm going with this?!

Lol oh gawd I'd never hear the end of that

Oh, the melted-down quarter ring thing...I did that a few years ago. Which is how I know about 'em...

I wouldn't be able to come up with so specific a thing on my own.

Kitty Pryde said:
Socks? Socks are like the clichéd lousy gift to receive, and maybe I am turning into a super boring old person but...nice socks are really expensive! And they're really cozy and warm, and they make you feel festive if you secretly wear them under your boring work clothes. Socks are the bomb!

This is true--socks do come in Awesome.

SOCKS IT IS

Originally Posted by Cliff Face

What I normally do is entertainment products. Like, books, CDs and DVDs. I think one year I bought a few art supplies for mum (she paints). But generally it's books or DVDs.

Yuh--nobody reads in my family (...I'm such the odd man out for realz), so DVDs are a good standby, but this year I was specifically asked not to do that by half of them...nobody actually watches them, it turns out. Even if they asked for them.

Too much entertainmentz.

Brightdreamer said:
When all else fails, make something.

Every year, I make ornaments for family members. I usually give them with candy or nuts or other goodies. They tend to be themed; one year, I did paperclay seashells (because there was a family trip to the ocean), and I did canopic jar ornaments last year in honor of the King Tut exhibit that came to town.

The best part about a customized Xmas ornament is that not only do they have to pretend to like it, but they can't sell it - they're stuck with it, for life! HAHahahaha...

(Speaking of, this year's ornaments are languishing, half-finished, in my workshed... gotta get crackin' on those things.)

What do you make them out of? *is suspicious of the word "workshed"*

ETA: Everyone has been super awesome and smart. I don't feel nearly as hopeless.

Brightdreamer · Nov 17, 2013

buzhidao said:
What do you make them out of? *is suspicious of the word "workshed"*

Usually, I make them out of paperclay, an air-drying clay that's fairly forgiving. I've used polymers in the past, but that stuff picks up dirt like you wouldn't believe, plus I don't have a way to bake them in my shed. This year, I have pre-bought papier mache bases that will be painted and embellished with either paperclay or epoxy.

I suppose I could call my workshed a workshop, but it's just a small storage shed that was converted a few years back. It allows me to work without distractions from relatives or the internet. (My wifi reaches that far, but barely.)

jjdebenedictis · Nov 17, 2013

There's also This Is Why I'm Broke, which doesn't itself sell awesome stuff, but which gives you links to the sites that sell awesome stuff.

Hoodies for your pet cat? Check.
Personal submarine? Check.
Drinking glass that says "You have just been poisoned" at the bottom? Check.
Hand-blown Klein bottle? Check.

Kylabelle · Nov 17, 2013

socks.

Also, there is a way cool, fairly cheap, weird gifts site I found one year and if I can think what it was called or find it again, I'll post it. It's fun to look at even if you never find anything on it you can give to straight people.

Getting presents for people who don't want anything...

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the original blond bombshell

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Procrastinating on the net.

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i luv you giant bear statue

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Wild one

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist

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