I can tell you what Sandy was like in NJ - for a few days before, the air got very heavy, the sky got very iron-gray, and it was very still. Then the day of the storm, we started out with rain. Not much (we didn't get hit with much at first, and all told, the rain was nothing compared to the wind.) And it really remained very much like a heavy rain storm, with sheets of water hitting the windows and overflowing the gutters. We had the news on all day - flipping between news and Weather Channel, watching and waiting for the storm to make landfall.
The worst part about Sandy was the wind. It howled. I watched trees bend and waited for them to break (they didn't, really. The ones we lost were actually uprooted, but they were skinny pine trees. Thankfully, the huge oaks and maples in my yard held.) Big tree branches snapped off and rolled across the back yard. My neighbor's fence just toppled over. You could hear the wind, and it sounded like it wanted to just rip the shingles off the roof. It was loud and menacing - enough that we wouldn't let the kids sleep in their rooms. I set them up in the family room on the lowest floor of our house because it was the safest place for them to be.
Our lights flickered and we could hear faint explosions. Looking out the windows, we could see blue flashes coming from this direction and that. Transformers were blowing up all around us at different intervals and then the lights went out.
We knew as soon as the storm made landfall, because it just intensified like *that* and at that time, we still had power, so we watched as it blasted through Seaside and Ortley - the wind was so strong, it just blew sea foam everywhere. Just take a look at the images that came out of Ortley and Mantoloking in the days that followed. That wind was a beast.
When Irene hit (although I think that was downgraded to a Tropical Storm) the big factor was rain. It wasn't anywhere near as frightening as Sandy was - I didn't think any trees were going to smash through my house. But we watched the water build up in our pool (inground, just a few feet from our house. My husband went out several times during the night to dump water from it into the creek behind our house), watched it pool up everywhere on the ground. The river crested a third of the way into my neighborhood (fortunately we are far enough back that we weren't affected, but houses just half a mile away had water up to their second floor.) The power went out the next day. It wasn't out as long as it was after Sandy, though.
We don't get hit by many hurricanes (they tend to peter out before they reach NJ - Sandy was different because it was actually several different storms that just happened to converge over us) and a lot are downgraded to Tropical Storms and our concern is always flooding, because NJ really is just one big swamp.