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I have a character in my novel that I call Lieutenant Commander Kevin Hernandez. He appears extensively in only three of my chapters and is referred to in other chapters from time to time. The problem I am experiencing is when I switch from dialogue to narration his name is so long that it sounds awkward always saying Lieutenant Commander Kevin Hernandez. I tried from time to time simply calling him Kevin when using narration, but I feel it is too personal when I’m trying to give this character an air of grandeur.
I also find myself changing dialogue so that I can simply say, he said, in order to replace his full name and title.
I can only think of two solutions, change the name or live with the awkwardness. What do you do under theses circumstances?
I also find myself changing dialogue so that I can simply say, he said, in order to replace his full name and title.
I can only think of two solutions, change the name or live with the awkwardness. What do you do under theses circumstances?
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