How many class action lawsuits can we be in...

Williebee · Aug 31, 2013

...before we become a part of a legal "team?"

I just got another class action lawsuit notification in my email. This one is Kindle/Amazon, etc.

The email starts like this:

Dear Kindle Customer,

Last fall we notified you that you are entitled to a credit for some of your past Kindle book purchases as a result of legal settlements between several major book publishers and the Attorneys General of most U.S. states and territories. We wanted to let you know that two more publishers have since settled with some State Attorneys General and Class Plaintiffs and these new settlements may increase the amount of the credit you will receive. A formal notification from the Court about these settlements is included below.

You do not need to do anything to receive this credit. If the Court approves the settlements in December 2013 and there is no appeal, a credit will appear automatically in your Amazon.com account that can be used to purchase Kindle books or print books.

That last paragraph is the key.

I've been notified about a dozen or so of these, regarding Apple, iPhones, Samsung, Kindle, BN, ...

Almost to the point that it is a "casual" thing, just part of shopping in the marketplace of fast changing technology and commerce.

I remember reading a book awhile back that talked about how Disney's legal strategy included employing as many lawyers in the state of Florida as possible, so that they could not represent clients against Disney.

Sinister (and under-caffeinated) me wonders if there isn't something similar in my future. Will, at some point, it be decided that I've been a "plaintiff" in X number of class action lawsuits, represented by so many faceless lawyers, that I am, through some legal chicanery, legally ineligible to sue "Y" company, if only because there isn't a lawyer left who hasn't represented or been a part of a class action suit defending/for/whatever, said company?

Is this a long tail business strategy, a la "the Mouse"? (yeah, I know, you see what I did there.)

Or do I just need more coffee?

robeiae · Aug 31, 2013

I always opt out of those class actions lawsuits. I really don't need a coupon for three dollars off my next purchase of a laptop, nor do I need a check for 23 cents.

Everyone should follow suit. Because right now, the vast majority of these class action lawsuits are nothing but payoffs for lawyers. There's no significant benefit for anyone else, and that's just wrong.

Williebee · Sep 2, 2013

I agree, but I've pretty much responded with laziness about them up to this point. I don't think I will anymore.

I guess my line of thought was:

Lawyer pack: "I'm representing you in this! I don't get paid unless you get paid."

Later: "Since I don't get paid unless you get paid, it's just like I'm one of you."

Later: "That means you're one of me, a member of the litigation team."

Then: "Since you've been with me in 'these' lawsuits, and I can't sue 'those' companies/people because they were a part of 'us' three lawsuits ago, you can't sue them either. In fact, now nobody can sue anybody. So, instead, we're (not you, us, the lawyers) are gonna get together over here and divide up some money and resources without the trial expenses. You go over there and stew about it. Sure, we care about you, but hey, it's not like you can sue us."

How serious am I about this? Not so much, but weirder things have happened, yeah?

dfwtinman · Sep 2, 2013

Naw, since you haven't been a "named plaintiff", you are still free to sue anyone of your choosing.

.

I am heading off to work or I'd have plenty (more) to stay about the cabal of large class actions firms - with whom I have worked on a number of occasions. They tend to have a drawer full of people who act as their "named plaintiffs." They are well known to have a "friendly client" buy (park) a couple of shares of every stock or investment security -- not hoping for a rise in value-- but rather a steep decline-- so they can sue management.

I swear they must pay friendly clients who get an RX for every drug that comes out, just so they will be ready to sue the first time any adverse consequence is reported.

What a great job it is being a class action lawyer-- no troublesome client to report to or answer to (cynicism alert). And while you, as a member of the class (if you don't opt out), get a "two for one drink coupon" (BFD), you can bet there is a cleverly calculated overall value of those coupons and the class action sharks will get 20-25% (typical in these cases) in cash as a fee.

A big part of being a class action lawyer is having "process" down. How to maneuver for a friendly forum. How to get a class "certified." How to give notice (cheaply and efficiently) to a large class, how to give proper notice of a settlement, how to work out a pre-planned "fairness hearing" to be sure the court blesses the settlement, and how to craft the settlement terms to give the defendant the "peace of mind" it is paying for.

As you may know, sometimes the defendant is virtually in legal bed with the plaintiffs class action lawyers because it can be a sweet way to wrap up a big screw up (a truly bad drug or a defective car part). Hell, paying the class action lawyers $100,000,000 in cash can be a cheap way to close out a muliti-billion dollar exposure. At times, it's more like the plaintiffs class action lawyers are providing the defendant company a service for which they pay a fee (that just looks like they are paying attorneys fees to the plaintiffs).

Okay-- enough, work time.

How many class action lawsuits can we be in...

Williebee

Capeless, wingless, & yet I fly.

robeiae

Touch and go

Williebee

Capeless, wingless, & yet I fly.

dfwtinman

Cubic Zirconia in the rough