Agent Opinion Please

Elwyn

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After much help from others on this forum, we concluded on the following for the (query) plot paragraph to an agent.

Note: It is as short as I can make it.
Reference:http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27373

Eternal damnation! That’s what the inhabitants of a primeval yet benevolent civilization face unless a young princess can find the keys that unlock the many mysteries that will allow her to defeat a heinous and technologically superior foe. On a distant planet many eons past, it’s years of sword against evil science and trustworthiness against treachery before peace can be realized.

Also, please reference:http://www.lukeman.com/greatquery/excerpt.htm
Note that he says;

1. Don’t exceed one paragraph

As explained above, you cannot exceed three sentences, and it should also go without saying that these three sentences should belong to one paragraph. Do not use two or more paragraphs to convey your plot. This sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised how many queries I receive which use two, three or even four paragraphs to summarize the plot. Remember, there will always be time for an extended synopsis (for example, a one page synopsis) later, which you can send if requested. Now is not that time.
 

victoriastrauss

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Elwyn, I think it's a pretty good paragraph. And it's good to be able to reduce your plot to a soundbite like this. But I wouldn't take the single paragraph thing as gospel. Many agents don't mind if you use more than one paragraph for a plot summary. See here, for instance.

- Victoria