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View Full Version : Need Beta for YA Fantasy Adventure - Will Exchange Manuscripts in Similar Genre



AderuMoro
08-01-2013, 12:36 AM
I need a beta reader for my complete 97,000-word fantasy adventure novel. Looking for someone who can give overall feedback on character, plot, and structure, not line or copy editing.

I am willing to exchange beta reading your complete manuscript, if we feel we work well together.

Here is a synopsis:


Michelle never had much luck with boys, but she can overcome her shyness while hitting on virtual reality characters. She can choose from mages, swordsmen, princes and thieves…and with the ranking of “Goddess,” how can anyone reject her?

But when she entered the world she thought was only a video game, she had awakened the Cycle of the Six Moons, and it is her duty as Goddess to prevent it from destroying the universe.

Michelle had saved dozens of worlds before—with a video game controller. When she experiences real pain and fears for her life, Michelle wimps out of the hero role. She hunts for a way to escape the game, but she can’t just reach for a reset button. Even hollering to the heavens doesn’t return her home.

She figures that her only way back is to accept the Cycle of the Six Moons as her fate, and to prove her worth as Goddess. Each month, she and her companions must combat a unique trial from six worlds, including our own. Her abuse of magic is her secret weapon.

Saving the world isn’t easy for a fifteen-year-old girl. She must separate her heart from duty, especially when she finds out that she’s been flirting with a boy brainwashed to kill her, and that her best friend’s body is a target to host evil incarnate.

The first chapter is also available as an audio book on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4G86esB5EY&feature=share&list=UUywPvWM_YU0vn4utvjMxCMA) if you're interested :)

Savant99
08-01-2013, 01:35 AM
Let me see if I follow your outline here...

We're dealing with a 'future reality' where people can enter virtual reality worlds? Then--if I use a Star Trek reference--it becomes like being on the holodeck when the safeties are disabled. She's trapped in the game? So now she attempts to 'play out' the game as a means to escape, with all the risks.

Am I on the right track here?

AderuMoro
08-01-2013, 01:42 AM
That's about right! Except it starts in the modern world.

Yay for Star Trek reference! There are few in the book, hehe.

Savant99
08-01-2013, 06:43 AM
Sounds interesting! It actually reminds me of an actual video game that had a similar premise. Called "Omikron: The Nomad Soul (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omikron:_The_Nomad_Soul)", the game actually spoke to the player directly (breaking the 'fourth wall' rule) asking for help and suggesting that if their avatar died that they would lose their soul. David Bowie did the soundtrack! It was released about 15 years ago if I recall correctly. (I'm showing my age here now... heh)

Anyway, I'll send you a PM and we can talk more. I think I can help you out.

Bufty
08-01-2013, 05:24 PM
I don't follow the time frame here.

Each month?

Is she perpetually inside the game, or not?



She figures that her only way back is to accept the Cycle of the Six Moons as her fate, and to prove her worth as Goddess. Each month, she and her companions must combat a unique trial from six worlds, including our own. Her abuse of magic is her secret weapon.

The first chapter is also available as an audio book on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4G86esB5EY&feature=share&list=UUywPvWM_YU0vn4utvjMxCMA) if you're interested :)

AderuMoro
08-01-2013, 06:05 PM
She stays in the game the entire time, but at the rise of a full moon--each month--arises another of the Cycle's trials.

AzureKnight
08-02-2013, 06:32 PM
Sure, I'd be interested in helping out.