Weird Writer's Stories

Send him to AW.

Undercover said:

Should I email him back telling him I'm not an editor nor am I an agent. I have no idea where he got the notion.

Has anything weird like this happened to you in your writing career?

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Ignore, would be my advice. I've had several people email me and say how much they liked one of my books, then after I respond and thank them, they drop in that they've self-pubbed something recently, and would I provide a blurb or review it on my blog... Give 'em points for trying, for sure.

Undercover said:

Should I email him back telling him I'm not an editor nor am I an agent. I have no idea where he got the notion.

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You were smart not to open the attachment. These days, I don't open attachments even from good friends until I email them back for confirmation. I got burned that way once. As far as I know, I'm still an unwitting remailer for the Russian Mob or the Nigerian Foreign Minister.

Wait! What if this guy is a literary genius? What if you start your own publishing house, and publish him, and you both make gazillions of dollars, buy cyborg bodies and live together forever in connubial/Platonic/whatever bliss?



Wait, where did that fit of unbridled optimism come from? Get it off me! Agh, it burns!

Whew, that's better.

Just forward that sucker to all the agents who've ever rejected you.

This used to happen to us at GUD magazine sometimes. No need to open the attachment. If you want to send them an email pointing out they're wasting their time...well, it's your time .

A friend of mine works in the office of an English department at a university. She's an administrative assistant. They have an MFA program there. She gets at least 5 people emailing or calling her every day asking if the university can "help them publish a book."

"I have a hand-written book. Can your department type this up for me?"
(Um no?)

"Can a graduate student type and edit this entire manuscript for me? They would love to gain experience, I'm sure."
(Because graduate students have all the free time in the world)

"I need one of your professors to proofread a novel for me."
(I'm sure they have lots of free time, too)

There are a metric sausage-load of people out there who do not understand how the writing business works. If you stop and think about this forum, there are a plethora of folks here who know more about publishing, writing, and editing, than most of the population. I come here and hang with people who are incredibly talented and helpful. And honestly? It spoils me. I start to think that everyone is this cool and knowledgeable when in fact, sooooo not the case.



I would just tell this person that you're flattered and perhaps send a link to an article or post here on AW that gives him the ABCs of all this. A place to start.

Chances are, they've got big ole stars in their eyes (I sure did early on), and they just need a little information.

As for whether or not I've had people contact me or experienced weird things as a writer, well, yeah. When I taught creative writing at the jail, I'd have guys bring in notebooks full of their manifestos, their sci-fi space zombie novels, and letters they wrote to their judge. And they usually want it typed up all nice and neat, proofread, edited, submitted, and sent out into the world.

Students? The same.

Now, if they spent any time teaching publishing in creative writing courses and focused on the business end at all (in traditional programs), the students at the very least might start to "get" what this sort of thing looks like. The writing thing, that is.

Anyway, just my take.

Just hit the delete key.

I had someone email wanting to exchanged autographed copies of books. I dunno -- maybe he thought it would drum up sales in a weird way.

The only reason to write back really is to stop them writing again. Which is second marriage stuff.

I never open any attachment sent by an unknown person. Never.

I haven't gotten one of those yet. But I do occasionally get "brilliant ideas" for inventions/proofs/technology because someone decided to spam everyone with an @mit.edu email account. (The "I discovered a perpetual motion machine! Someone help me build it and monetize it and we'll all be rich!" one is still my favorite.)

I never understand these types of people. I have trouble cold-contacting people even when it WOULD be appropriate (and I have trouble asking big favors (like looking over a novel!) even from people I know!). The mentality that allows someone to push the "send" key on stuff like this is just alien to me. Honestly, I think it has to be more than a lack of understanding of publishing, because even before I knew anything about publishing I never would have thought these sorts of emails were appropriate. Maybe when I was five. Is this person five?

Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

Teaching the business end of writing as a mandatory class in Creative Writing programs would help a lot...or maybe not. Then maybe the agents' inboxes would be even more swamped.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

I had a prisoner write to me and ask me to write the true story of the crime he was imprisoned for -- I declined, but Ann Rule wrote a book about it called Worth More Dead.

Hey Undercover, I definitely wouldn't open the attachment. It was probably someone who came across one of your ebooks and wanted to get in touch with you on how to start his own publishing career. Does your books have your website or any other social media in the front or back matter (maybe an old book with non-updated info)?

In my book, that type of email is nothing more than SPAM. Delete.

I get the occasional request to read someone's book or help them write their query letter or whatever.

If I don't know them personally, I just send them a polite, "Sorry, no, but you might find these resources handy..." and two or three links that might answer their question or keep them from stumbling into a PA-esque trap.

... ugh.
And just imagine how many solicitations of the sort an author like Rawlings must get.
Enough to drive one nuts is my guess

Phaeal said:

Wait! What if this guy is a literary genius? What if you start your own publishing house, and publish him, and you both make gazillions of dollars, buy cyborg bodies and live together forever in connubial/Platonic/whatever bliss?



Wait, where did that fit of unbridled optimism come from? Get it off me! Agh, it burns!

Whew, that's better.

Just forward that sucker to all the agents who've ever rejected you.

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How could it be both connubial and platonic?

Literary geniuses can encompass many contradictions.

Ken said:

... ugh.
And just imagine how many solicitations of the sort an author like Rawlings must get.
Enough to drive one nuts is my guess

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I keep telling myself that. Makes me feel better.

I think you definitely did the right thing but I would delete the e-mail. Then let your anti-virus software do a full slow check of your system. Maybe start it when you go to bed our work and then check on it in the morning. It has been noted that just by opening the e-mail it lets the virus lock on to your system and wait for something else to happen. Such as, open bank account in your e-banking. Or go shopping to get your credit account information. A full scan of all files system, hidden, and regular should clean out any virus’s that you might have.

Sounds like this person was spamming you, it's flattering until you figure out they're probably sending it to a hundred other writers.

I've had similar stuff, since I write for fun on wattpad. I've had weird emails that say stuff like, "Hello there, Erin. I've decided I want YOU to help me write my book." I'm going, "Gee, what an honor. Delete key..."

People are weird. Perfect strangers think you're going to go out of your way and write them long emails explaining the entire publishing industry to them, or crit their manuscript or recommend them to your agent.

I remember reading a blog post by Maureen Johnson about this, she gets hundreds of emails a week, and a bunch of them are asking her to look at their manuscript, or write their query letter for them...yeah, like she has time.