Sound of Music Challenge

In one of the groups I belong to, we were challenged to take the songs from "The Sound of Music" and change the lyrics to make them funny.

This has been so fun I thought I'd issue the challenge here.

I'll start it off with one of mine.

<sung to the tune of, "These are a Few of My Favorite Things">

These are the things that must make you a guy

Pork Rinds and Squeeze Cheese and Big ole Primroses
PBR belches and blowing their noses

Tilting on one cheek and letting one fly
These are the things that must make you a guy

When the room spins
When the gut churns
When the pepto won't work

I get on my knees and I ask God to please save me from all disease...and hork.

Renee'

lol,

I can't top that.

I only have one line, that me and the crew wrote when I worked in a restaurant as a dishwasher. Sung to the tune of "The Hills are alive..." it refers to the big garbage can of plate-scrapings:

"The swill is alive, and I think it's mo-ving...."

"I am sixteen, going on seventeen,
I think I know it all....
Don't try and tell me,
rule or compel me,
or I will start a brawl.

I am sixteen, going on seventeen,
I'm the epitome
of all that's wise
(I'm telling no lies) -
who cares if you disagree?"

I'd finish this, but my ride is here to take me to the mall...

American Gigolo:

Dough is fine, so call me "Dear"
Ray, the name I use to greet my chicks
Me, the one I love the most
Far, the distance I want to keep
So, baby, what's your sign?
LA, the place I got my nose
T, the shirt makes me look so buff...
That would bring us back to dough, oh, oh, oh!