Would you date another writer?

I'd date another writer in a heartbeat. Sure.

Of course my girlfriend would probably kill me....

Haggis said:

I'd date another writer in a heartbeat. Sure.

Of course my girlfriend would probably kill me....

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I knew there was something stopping us getting together.

The website for CS Graham (husband and wife co-authors) has a fun pair of bios that talk about meeting at a writer's group and ending up married. Go here, and read the "fun bio" for each of them, to get both sides of the story. http://www.csgrahambooks.com/authors.php

Lol, Haggis.

Another serious writer is just about the only type of person I *would* consider dating at this point. I've had to dump too many people because they don't understand the amount of energy and time I insist on devoting to writing. Plus reading and writing are my main interests, so if we don't have that in common, there's really nothing for us to talk about.

When I was dating another writer, jealousy wasn't a problem. We wrote different things (he wrote poetry and lit stories, I write fantasy novels), so comparing them never really occurred to either of us.

Yes, I would. And I'm with Chasing. I think at this point, I'd only date a serious writer.

Dated one and married him. No, it didn't work out well, writing-wise. He didn't value my sense of story, though he did value my work ability to finish things--something he constantly struggled with. I still admire his editing skills, but it didn't go well for us.

I presently rent from another writer (Housemate) and we're best friends for 25 years, living together for 10--which is kinda like dating/marriage, but seriously not. We support each other and respect what the other does (though it's rarely to our individual reading taste). It's taken years to learn where the line is where it's bad for our creativity to include the other too much.

If it works is like any other relationship--what attracts both of you and how much you're willing to work to make the relationship good.

jvc said:

I knew there was something stopping us getting together.

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We'll always have Paris, Jed.

I dated a writer before I was a writer. We're not dating anymore, but we're still close. He's my critique partner and reads through a lot of my stuff (and vice versa when he writes stuff). Jealousy has never been an issue. But we're also both laid-back. If you know you're prone to jealousy, or the other person is, then you might have issues.

If I weren't married, sure. Instead, I'm married to someone with ghastly writing skills.

I think with some time and effort I could learn to look past their disease and see the person hiding underneath

Ha, yeah, I would

It would be great because, like Chasing said, they'd actually understand why you do the things you do.

It wouldn't matter with me if they were a writer or not, as long as they can appreciate or understand that writing and making art is something I like to do and show me a little support in my endeavor. Finding someone who is as much into gardening, especially with ornamentals, would really knock my socks off. So far I haven't been able to find anyone who is as obsessed with plants as I am and it would be really nice to have that in common. It would also be really nice if they weren't misogynistic arseholes. But since I haven't found any yet, I'll just stick to being single for a while.

I once dated a guy strictly because he told me he had written my favorite ever Star Trek episode. When I found a book that listed the actual writing team, I confronted him and the relationship didn't last.

Already am. We met working for the same newspaper (both since escaped, me to PR, her to a university). Since we both write full-time, we don't often talk about it much at home, except to encourage each other. She has a YA novel idea that I really want to get out of her because it sounds great.

I would reject anyone with a fragile ego that is so tied up in what they do (instead of who the are) that they would have jealousy or superiority issues if what I do placed me on a perceived different "level" of productivity or quality. And that wouldn't matter what the activities of the two of us would be. In both cases, it would smack of a fairly serious personal insecurity, which is a dead-on deal breaker. I want a mate who is comfortable in her own skin and confident in her abilities regardless of what occupation/activities/hobbies she embraces. So, in answer to the question, a fellow writer would be cool, but so would a non-writer, given the person has a solid, wholesome self-image.

Oh no no no, GOD NO. Just the thought of that makes me queasy :S

I mean, if we managed to keep our writing out of our love life that would be fine. Unfortunately, I see that as being impossible. One person is going to pester the other until they show them their work and get their opinion and the sheer number of toxic situations that could arise from this is just... way too damn daunting for me.

Maryn said:

I, on the other hand, am long and happily married to a man who does not read for pleasure. WTF, huh?

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Same here.

Although technically, he is a writer. It's just that graduate textbooks are so different from fantasy novels that we can't even beta read for one another; there's no overlap in expertise.

I'm marrying another writer. He's not serious, but he does the same thing I do professionally and dabbles in fiction. He's an avid reader though. He's very supportive. A while back, I was in a relationship with a non-writer who didn't even want me hobby writing because it was a waste of time. My SO tries to help me make time to write. He talks about maybe writing some day, but if he does, he's really secure in himself. He'll wait patiently until I decide to show him my work, and we write for such different audiences that I don't think comparing work would ever be a thing.

My husband won a national science fiction short story prize when he was at school, as he never tires of reminding me.
Since then he hasn't written anything apart from academic papers in maths. If he decided to go back to fiction, or popular maths and science writing, I'd be delighted. He's too scared to read my writing in case he doesn't like it and I divorce him.

Would.

Am.

My boyfriend is a better writer than I am. He's just so darned talented. If he ever finished anything, I have no doubt he'd probably find an agent and be one of those people who sells almost immediately.

I also have to admit that, realistically, if this were to happen, I would be horribly heartbroken and have to at least take a break from writing. I've always surrounded myself with other writers, and those people tend to be who are more skilled than I am and have more success, in spite of my years of hard work.

It's not a jealousy or sour grapes issue so much as a lack of confidence and feeling that I have no real skill. If he wrote something and had quick success, it would just confirm for me that I'm not good enough at this.

Yes, I recognize that this is a stupid thought. The part of me that knows myself well knows it's true, though, stupid or not.

I want him to have success and would support him if he decided to take writing seriously, but I'd almost certainly give up trying to get published myself if he did. I wouldn't want to let my emotions about the situation get in the way of our relationship.

... anyone with a pulse at this point.

Haggis said:

I'd date another writer in a heartbeat. Sure.

Of course my girlfriend would probably kill me....

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Haggis said:

We'll always have Paris, Jed.

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This is why I love this site. You ask a seemingly innocuous question and the answers can make me giggle out loud.

Would I? I have no idea. Possibly, depends on too many other factors.

I don't think my husband would appreciate it too much.

Although he keeps wanting to write with me, so maybe someday? I'll let you know if it ever happens. (Though, honestly, I like him best as my very enthusiastic non-writing alpha reader.)