Exposition later (but still early) in the MS

So... you want your first chapter to be fine. Then having a history lesson for the second?

Yeah, I wouldn't be happy to have that as a reader. I know you want to teach us everything, but you don't (and shouldn't) have to in that manner. What if the reader skips that chapter? (Highly likely)

Instead, cut the second chapter and use all that information and spread it throughout the story as you need it. If the story is meant to be told, have it through the character's mouths every-once-and-a-while, or explain certain things as they arise. You want to incorporate everything together. There's no need for a history lesson.

Bring up information when it is relevant to situation within the main story with the scene at hand.


Remember (but don't keep it as a rule): The reader is going to purchase your book for entertainment. Does that mean you have to go to the ends of the earth to entertain them? No--what entertains you as a reader, will entertain them. But it doesn't mean you should teach them.


Then again, I have little to no idea what you're really on about. You've got more than 50 posts, put your 2 chapters up in the SYW section (if they are under like 6,000words. If not, just your second chapter).

I agree with Will here. I tend to find the backstory most intriguing in tales when it's hinted at and dribbled out throughout the tale. Things like personal stories and flashbacks work fine for me if they're not too lengthy or removed from what's happening, and once I'm invested in the characters.

But there are always exceptions. I liked Gandalf's story about Sméagol/Gollum in LoTR. But that came some ways into the tale, after we already knew there was something funky about the ring and trouble was brewing. And LoTR had a pretty slow build up.

Still, I don't know how many writers are able to pull off (or get the indulgence from their editors) to pull off slow-burning starts like in LoTR these days. At least, not until they're already pretty well established and have a track record of selling books.

MarkQuinn said:

Excellent. Excellent. I'll wait and see if others reply, but your post might as well be a pair of tweezers ripping out the thorn. I'm telling you, chapter two is a gem. A thorny gem. To me, at least. In it's present form, I feel it's the best writing I've ever done. But we've all learned that sometimes we have to get rid of the gems. We have to find other ways. It's painful because we never think we have more gems inside us. We have to trust ourselves that we do, endeavor to keep the manuscript lean and mean, and go from there.

Thank you, WillSauger! I knew someone would be able to help based on the principle of the question.

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Yes, yes, yes. Our lovely children can be no less perfect... until confronted about their flaws. Oh, the woes of parenting!

I still heed you to post it up in the SYW section. (Just make sure you read the stickies on the main board beforehand).


Now, I wanted to add: I wouldn't mind, as much, if it wasn't as much as a history lesson, as if it was a singular scene taken out of context to show a brief moment in history--but then, that tends to deviate from the main story.

Something like, The Eye of the World's prologue was like that. The Way of Kings open with like 3 of those.

Older Epic Fantasy stories did include somewhat of a history lesson, but that was expected back then--literature has changed to become more streamline.

If you can, spread the exposition across the story. If you need to have sage old character explain plot point X, do it, but make the chapter important to the furtherance of the narrative in other aspects as well. Also, don't try to compress plot backstory X/Y/Z all into a single section. Brief exposition can work, can even be a needed break in tension to set up future build ups, but lengthy exposition will lose many readers. If points Y/Z needed, find another time to reveal that information.

I'm going to buck the trend here -

It depends on how good your opening hook was. If you are really good then you have earned the right to a slow down in pace and a small info-dump on the past and history.

It must (obviously) be done well and naturally so I would ensure you frame it within the establish narrative, or in a sufficiently clever way.

I would also say that it has to have some direct relevance to the hook or the reader might easily switch off.

Good luck.

I don't like introductions or second chapter exposition. Pullman does the latter in Northern Lights/Golden Compass and it was a real slog to get through. Mind you, by the end of the book I was wishing I hadn't bothered anyway.

I suspect all this exposition isn't nearly as essential as you believe it to be.

MarkQuinn said:

Do you have any opinions on why that might be? Obviously the faster pace of life must have something to do with it. The abundance of other media options. Movies and games.

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No, I think it's simply that once readers were offered a choice between a history lesson and a story, they voted for the latter.

Another vote against, sorry.

The first chapter sounds great, the last thing I as a reader would want you to do after that is destroy that momentum with a lesson on a history that, as yet, you haven't given me a reason to care about.

I would rather learn what I need to know when I need to know it, than be presented with a big chunk up front. It makes me think of those stupid tests where you read three paragraphs of text and then have to answer questions about what you read.

Without seeing it, it certainly sounds like you shouldn't have a history lesson in your book. However... you might be better to keep it.

I haven't seen it. You have one reader who has that you respect the opinion of who loves it, and you apparently loved writing it that way at the time.

Not dumping exposition is a rule of story telling. But, in story telling, you can break the rules whenever it seems beneficial.

Getting more opinions on it, by posting it somewhere for people to review is probably a good idea for you. In the end though, you are the story teller and author, so you should do what feels right to you.

I don't think I'd have a problem with it as long as it was written well and made sense in the context of the story. The OP said it was only two-thirds of a page. It's not like the entire chapter is a history lesson. If the first chapter grabs me, I'm not going to put down the book over two thirds of a page. If the author makes a habit of doing long sections of backstory like that, I might stop reading. But from what I've gathered here, this is a one-time thing.

It was two thirds of a PAGE? I missed that part... thought he meant two thirds of a chapter.


I'd say: Unless you get a bad reaction, DON'T CHANGE it. You have a high opinion of the text, your girlfriend does too, so get more opinions on it and see what people think.

Authors are sometimes the worst judges of their own work. That's why my philosophy is go with what feels right and adjust it when you're hitting problems.

I wouldn't put anything that halts the action anywhere in the first part of the book. Does the reader care yet about the backstory? Will they feel excited to read it given what they just saw with the fugitives?

I only like to read backstory when it is directly relevant to the scene at hand, and then it still shouldn't be lengthy. I think Brandon Sanderson has a fair bit of exposition, but I still like how he handles all the history he likes to put in his books. He has his characters discover it over the course of the book. At the beginning of each chapter of Mistborn, he'd have a short paragraph that came directly from something discovered later in the book- it acted as foreshadowing and piqued my interest when I'd read it- I wondered- who wrote this and how does it relate to what's happening now?