View Full Version : St. William's Valentine's Day Poetry Contest

William Haskins
02-07-2006, 08:29 AM
After awarding my copy of The Selected Poems of Carl Sandburg to Penelope (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25815) in our last contest, I'm sensing something askew in the symmetry of my bookcase. Therefore, the only solution is to give away another book. So here we are:

St. William's Valentine's Day Poetry Contest

How it Works:

You submit a poem directly to me. I post all entries in one thread, without attribution. People vote. You get the most votes, I send you a book from my personal stash.


Poems must be 50 lines or less.
Poems must deal in some way with intimate human relationships (aka "love") They need not be related specifically to Valentine's Day and may also veer into the darker territory of heartbreak, loneliness, etc.óbut they should be about love in some way.
How to Enter:

Using the board's private message function, send me your poem by this Friday, February 10, 2006 at 11:59 PM Central (Know your time zones (http://www.csgnetwork.com/timezncvt.html))
At midnight Friday night, I will post the poems and open the voting. Last time we used the poll function, but since it has a limited capacity (and since it could potentially encourage groupthink), we're going to go a different route this time.

Once the poems are posted, you may send me your vote, also using the private message function.

The poems will be both numbered and titled (if you submit without a title, it will be creatively called Untitled).

To vote: In the subject window of your private message, type both the number and the title.

You'll need to type something in the main message window as well, since it won't send an empty message. But please be advised that I might not even read your message and will not be replying to any of them. So you could type the meaning of life, include naked pictures or offer me a million dollars and I might never see it (but then again I might)...

Voting will close at 7 PM Central on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2006. Any votes received after that time will be returned with a virus.

I will then post complete results with vote totals for every entry, and announce the winner.

Then I'll select a volume of poetry from my collection and send it to the winner. It could be Walt Whitman or it could be my tattered copy of Poe's The Raven and Other Poems, complete with a cover customized by my dog's teeth. You just never know.

If you win and opt to receive your prize, I'll need a mailing address of course.

So there you go. Let's roll.

You may send your entries any time until Friday, February 10, 2006 at 11:59 PM Central.

William Haskins
02-07-2006, 05:34 PM
morning kick

02-07-2006, 06:34 PM
In order to make it truly objective, are we supposed to submit a poem that no one here has yet read on the poetry board? I realize that our names will be omitted, but some of us might be familiar with what others have written.

William Haskins
02-07-2006, 06:35 PM
you're welcome to submit regardless.

William Haskins
02-07-2006, 09:51 PM
lunchtime kick.

William Haskins
02-08-2006, 01:48 AM
afternoon kick

William Haskins
02-08-2006, 04:57 AM
evening kick

02-08-2006, 05:47 AM
Will, you say to type in the suject line, the number and title .. what number?

William Haskins
02-08-2006, 05:53 AM
that's for voting. a poem that was called william must die might be the third in the list. so the title would appear thusly:

Entry #3
William Must Die

if you so chose to vote for this one, your PM vote would have in the subject line:

3. William Must Die

02-08-2006, 06:05 AM
Gotcha. Thanks, Will.

William Haskins
02-08-2006, 06:15 AM
you betcha

02-08-2006, 06:44 AM
a poem that was called william must die might be the third in the list. so the title would appear thusly:

Entry #3
[b]William Must Die

Bet we get at least one of these.

William Haskins
02-08-2006, 06:34 PM
let's hope so.

02-08-2006, 07:42 PM
So, if one were to write the William Must Die poem, can it include 49 lines of smilies?

William Haskins
02-08-2006, 07:58 PM
if it's to be effective, i guess it would have to.

02-08-2006, 08:03 PM
Can we submit more than one poem? If so, is there a maximum number of poems per poet allowed?

William Haskins
02-08-2006, 08:10 PM
i have no problem with multiple submissions, although i reserve the right to amend this position if someone starts flooding me with work.

but i would say 2 or 3 by a single poet would be fine.

William Haskins
02-09-2006, 05:49 AM
3 days left to enter.

thanks to everyone who's submitted so far.

William Haskins
02-09-2006, 08:34 PM
2 days left to enter.

02-09-2006, 09:01 PM
2 days left to enter.

Stop putting on the pressure! I am having a hard time with this. I might have to go with the William Must Die poem at this point. It's the only thing that's inspiring me right now.

02-09-2006, 09:05 PM
If you think that's bad, I had to scrap my whole approach now that he guessed my title. I've renamed it:

William Must Live - But In Horrible Agony And For a Long, Long Time.

It's tough being an artiste sometimes...

William Haskins
02-10-2006, 04:36 AM
18 hours and 15 entries.

some excellent work already, by the way.

no pressure. ticktock...

02-10-2006, 05:07 AM
Oh great. Thanks a lot.

02-10-2006, 06:05 AM

William Haskins
02-10-2006, 06:48 PM
15 hours left to enter. 23 entries so far.

02-10-2006, 06:51 PM
23! An e-book.

02-10-2006, 10:27 PM
Because it's a Valentine's Day love poetry contest, I think William should also throw in a box of chocolates. What do you people think?

02-10-2006, 10:39 PM
I'd be too worried about what the filling for the chocolates might be to eat them...

Rob :)

02-10-2006, 10:50 PM
naw, william only buys the good stuff.

02-11-2006, 04:34 AM


02-11-2006, 06:24 AM
Stop putting on the pressure! I am having a hard time with this. I might have to go with the William Must Die poem at this point. It's the only thing that's inspiring me right now.
I had nothing until I took a shower at 4 p.m. today. What I want to know is, why do those shower thoughts wait until the last minute to come? A little more thinking time would be nice. Maybe I should have showered yesterday? Or the day before?

02-11-2006, 06:56 AM

02-11-2006, 08:29 AM
You'll notice William didn't comment on the box of chocolates idea. They keep better than a dozen roses.

02-11-2006, 08:38 AM
You'll notice William didn't comment on the box of chocolates idea. They keep better than a dosen roses. A candy bar might be more fair. Afterall, he's graciously donated one of his own books and the cost of sending it, twice.

Any updates on how many entries? How many are named Death to Haskins?

02-11-2006, 08:52 AM
I was only kiddin', Sara. I might be able to finagle a box of chocolates out of the husband. (doubt it though)

02-11-2006, 11:05 AM
Thanks, Will, for putting the contest together [with or without chocolate], and thanks to all 39 [wow!] entrants. I am going to wait until I have had a night's sleep to read them all, but I've already seen a few that I liked very much.

02-11-2006, 11:15 AM
My vote's in- will we find out who wrote what after V-day?

02-11-2006, 04:24 PM
Damn! I missed another one! I have to come here more often. I'm just going to have to throw the rest of my life aside and pull up a chair in the cooler!

02-13-2006, 05:31 PM
yummmm, chocolate. I'm there!

02-14-2006, 11:54 PM
I would vote, but I can't seem to figure out how it is done -- through IM?

Isn't there some kind of voting mechanism in the board?

02-14-2006, 11:58 PM
Find one of Haskins' posts, click on his name. You will then see some options - pick "Send Private Message To.

Follow the instructions for voting as set out in the first post of this thread.

One note of caution however:

Make sure you are wearing a tinfoil beanie when you click on Haskins name or else he will then have a window into your mind and will fvck with you mercilessly.

You have been warned.