Engagement Ring

WriterDude

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How much is a lot, but not implausible, for an average guy living beyond his means to spend on an engagement ring. A designer ring perhaps.

I spent almost £10 pounds on my beloved and it was real cubic zircona, but I imagine my MC blowing his budget to the tune of $6500 from a New York jeweler. Does that seem like an eye popping amount for a chap on about £25k PA, crazy, but not grounds to be sectioned?
 

Mutive

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In the US, in theory, an engagement ring = three month's salary.

So no, $6,500 isn't obscene by those standards. (I think it's obscene, but that's beyond the point. At least some people have paid more.)

Figure that if MC is earning $100K, he's probably taking in at least $4K/month after taxes. So is his fiancee is a stickler, she's expecting a $12K ring. Of course, if he's earning 25K pounds, he's not so rich. But if he's dating a woman who *expects* a $12K ring, he may feel obligated to live up to her crazy expectations.
 

writingismypassion

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I think it depends. People spend crazy amounts on rings these days. The etiquette is for the ring to be worth three month's salary, but some go over that, some go way less. I picked my engagement ring and the wedding band myself and all together the cost was approximately $1,200. My fiance (now husband) could have afforded something more expensive, but I'm not really into jewelry and didn't want something more expensive. Not sure how much that helps with your question, but I will say that your MC wouldn't be the first guy to blow his budget for a ring.
 

GeorgeK

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It's completely plausible that someone already unable to live within a budget might spend a ridiculous amount of money on a piece of jewelry. The other side is the couple who decide that saving that money for a downpayment on a house is better and they get a cheap but nice looking set of rings. Anything in between is also plausible. It depends on the couple.
 

thethinker42

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When I worked in jewelry (bear in mind this was about 12 years ago), the "two months salary" rule was just for the guys who wanted to, according to their fiancees and my co-workers, pay too little. A guy would come in wanting to spend $500-1,000, and after some arm-twisting, he'd cough up the socially acceptable $5,000 or more. (This was a fairly well-off area...as in, spitting distance from Microsoft at the height of the dotcom boom).

More often than not, I saw guys paying well above what they could afford. Two months salary, my ass. I'm the one who processed their credit applications, so I saw how much they were making, and it wasn't uncommon at all for a guy to come in and drop $15,000 on a ring when he was grossing $50,000 a year.
 

GeorgeK

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I think it's pretty crazy. But enough men/women do. ;)

Yep, just shiny rocks, it amazes me how people really do buy into the concept of what they should pay for that shiny rock and how much that shiny rock is worth.

We had to watch a show in real time, couldn't fast forward because it wasn't taped and so we saw this commercial. I asked my wife, "What is this chocolate diamond and didn't they used to consider those flawed?"

She replied, "It's all in the presentation. They sell more if they don't call them feces diamonds."
 

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Depends on the characters. But considering he lives above his means (and I don't know what his means are) $6.5k is nothing. For some reason, many women are only impressed if the guy goes into serious debt for her—she needs to be that 'special' to him. Then there's the wedding cash...
 

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Yep, just shiny rocks, it amazes me how people really do buy into the concept of what they should pay for that shiny rock and how much that shiny rock is worth.

The day I realized I need to get out of the jewelry business was the day I realized I'd just talked someone into spending $5,000 on a piece of gravel.

We had to watch a show in real time, couldn't fast forward because it wasn't taped and so we saw this commercial. I asked my wife, "What is this chocolate diamond and didn't they used to consider those flawed?"

She replied, "It's all in the presentation. They sell more if they don't call them feces diamonds."

Flawed is exactly what they are. DeBeers realized if they called badly colored diamonds "champagne diamonds" (and now "chocolate diamonds", apparently), they could create a market out of the diamonds that were otherwise not going to sell well.

They are, almost literally, polishing turds. What kills me is that it's working, and people are buying these things.
 

ironmikezero

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It's completely plausible that someone already unable to live within a budget might spend a ridiculous amount of money on a piece of jewelry. The other side is the couple who decide that saving that money for a downpayment on a house is better and they get a cheap but nice looking set of rings. Anything in between is also plausible. It depends on the couple.

Agree completely... We're on the pragmatic side of the spectrum - we passed on the stones in favor of real estate. The long term goal - to live below our means and be debt free as soon as possible. It worked. There's no feeling quite like it.
 

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it wasn't uncommon at all for a guy to come in and drop $15,000 on a ring when he was grossing $50,000 a year.

The day I realized I need to get out of the jewelry business was the day I realized I'd just talked someone into spending $5,000 on a piece of gravel.

:( I really don't get it.

I always thought my mom's engagement ring was so pretty when I was a kid. When I was older, she told me it wasn't even a real engagement ring, just a nice promise ring: tiny diamonds in the shape of a star, not a big rock.
 

thethinker42

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:( I really don't get it.

I always thought my mom's engagement ring was so pretty when I was a kid. When I was older, she told me it wasn't even a real engagement ring, just a nice promise ring: tiny diamonds in the shape of a star, not a big rock.

I don't get it either. Two years in that business seriously made me wonder about our culture.
 

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Current price of gold makes $6,500 in the "normal" range. :)

It's not unusual for Americans to spend up to half their annual salary on a ring now. Not as much in many other countries, where using a family diamond is more common. But it all depends on the guy and the couple. If they traditionally live beyond their means, then overspending would be normal.

Jeff
 

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I don't get it either. Two years in that business seriously made me wonder about our culture.

This is neither here nor there, but a few years ago the hubby wanted to buy me a ring for our 10th anniversary. While I always loved my engagement ring, he wanted me to have something nicer.

The sales lady was perturbed because he was looking at big rings and I was looking at smaller anniversary bands. Another sales person came over to "assist" and asked me what my style was. I replied... whatever goes well with track pants and tennis shoes. Hubby and I laughed but the sales people were not amused.
 

thethinker42

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The sales lady was perturbed because he was looking at big rings and I was looking at smaller anniversary bands. Another sales person came over to "assist" and asked me what my style was. I replied... whatever goes well with track pants and tennis shoes. Hubby and I laughed but the sales people were not amused.

Yeah, that sounds about right. LOL

I think one of the other moments when I realized I was in the wrong business was when I walked past a coworker trying to sell something (can't remember now if it was an engagement ring or just a gift of some sort for the guy's wife/girlfriend/whatever), and I heard her say, "So the question really comes down to, do you love her $3,000? Or do you love her $5,000?" :Wha:

I was not bred for that business.
 

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Three months salary?! We didn't spend three months salary on the entire wedding. Actually I'm not sure we even spent one... Mind you I don't have and didn't want an engagement ring and our wedding bands are silver so we clearly aren't the target market.
 

WriterDude

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Three months salary?! We didn't spend three months salary on the entire wedding. Actually I'm not sure we even spent one... Mind you I don't have and didn't want an engagement ring and our wedding bands are silver so we clearly aren't the target market.

We were the same. The entire thing, dresses, suits, venue, entertainment, food, drink, rings, decorations, cars, honeymoon, all for 2 months salary.

You gotta shop around. My MC though, has an expensive self image, $6k ring seemed excessive to me, but I'm gathering that its normal. I might increase to $8k to be safe.
 

Myrealana

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3 months? When did that happen? When we were looking at rings, the pitch was 2 months. I even remember the ad slogan " How to make two months salary last forever."
 

thethinker42

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3 months? When did that happen? When we were looking at rings, the pitch was 2 months. I even remember the ad slogan " How to make two months salary last forever."

It was two months when I hawked rocks sold jewelry, though men were often heavily pressured to spend more than the "minimum" because "she's worth it." I'm not sure when it became three months.
 

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I managed an insurance agency for 15 years and it was common for us to insure rings that had been purchased for anywhere from $25 - 50K. It was in a wealthier part of Dallas and bling is king in Dallas. I always thought it was ridiculous to wear something that someone might be willing to cut your finger off for.
 

MaryMumsy

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I managed an insurance agency for 15 years and it was common for us to insure rings that had been purchased for anywhere from $25 - 50K. It was in a wealthier part of Dallas and bling is king in Dallas. I always thought it was ridiculous to wear something that someone might be willing to cut your finger off for.

My bolding. This is my thinking also. The most expensive piece I wear on a regular basis cost me less than $400. It helps that I don't particularly like diamonds.

MM
 

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Also as some mentioned before you have to consider the sellers of the engagement rings. They told my husband that if he only spent 3-4k on my ring then we could upgrade in a few years. Needless to say we didn't go with that jeweler. Crazy times we live in when 3-4k gets you a "starter" ring. I think my hubby spent 2k on blue Nile and Ill never need or want an upgrade. :0)
 

Maythe

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Hey i think i may have figured out why the divorce rate is so astronomical. People are being encouraged to think of their partners as having material worth. Wow insight /sarcasm

Isn't it really the most blatantly obvious thing in the world that someone you love will always be 'worth' more than a hunk of pretty stone? If you want to buy a hunk of pretty stone that's cool but it isn't to do with their'value'. Ugh.
 
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thethinker42

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Also as some mentioned before you have to consider the sellers of the engagement rings. They told my husband that if he only spent 3-4k on my ring then we could upgrade in a few years. Needless to say we didn't go with that jeweler. Crazy times we live in when 3-4k gets you a "starter" ring. I think my hubby spent 2k on blue Nile and Ill never need or want an upgrade. :0)

You'd be amazed at how many people come in to GET those upgrades, too. I remember one customer who upgraded her wedding set every three years (I think it was three years). They'd been married for like twenty by then, and the new one was just...OMG. Gawdy as hell.

The biggest thing that stuck with me after working in jewelry was how many men looked intimidated and terrified when sitting between a salesperson and the fiancee-to-be. Because of course, when she's there, we're trained to sell *to her* even though we all know he'll be buying. And these poor guys would all have this look of "OMG, what did I just get myself into?", because we'd encourage her to look at the more expensive rings, and of course she'd get excited, and you could pretty much hear his wallet screaming for mercy. Because seriously, when the sales lady has gotten your fiancee attached to that 2.5 carat Emerald cut with a platinum, diamond-encrusted wedding band, what does it say about YOU when you get her the 3/4 carat round cut with a simple gold band? I mean, is she not WORTH the $35,000? Does she not DESERVE something that nice?

That's how he ends up feeling by the time the sales pitch is over, and I saw many, many men buy rings they definitely couldn't afford because we encouraged his future wife to look at the more expensive ones.

This is why I refused to shop for engagement rings with my now-husband. I wanted him to get what he thought was nice, and I didn't want to influence that in any way. He gave me a beautiful half carat solitaire, and we both wear our grandparents' wedding rings. Wouldn't have it any other way.

(Sorry for the derail, just trying to offer some observations from working behind the counter :) )