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View Full Version : Do you hide shopping sprees from your spouse?



Hannah
01-31-2006, 02:53 AM
When I was single, I never thought it would come to this. This is the second time that I have hidden shopping sprees from my husband. :Lecture:

The first time he caught me was about two weeks ago, which is the first time it happened. I bought a new pair of jeans, but I didn't think he'd notice because I have about five pair of Levi's, which are similar in color, but they have different fits; this particular pair is dark denim.

So, when I came home from school, and walked past him, he said, "Are those new jeans?" I nearly tripped over the coffee table, and came back with a quick answer, "Ahh, no. These old things? I've had them for quite some time now."

At that point, I thought, who was giving my hubby fashion tips. :guns:


Today, I knew I had a package coming because of the tracking number, and I usually know when the UPS guy comes around. My hubby had a day off, so I tried to get him out of the house before my package arrived: "Hey baby, it's really nice outside today. Don't you want to take a walk?" He said, "Nah, not really, but I do have to go somewhere later."

I started getting really nervous and was prepared to defend the decision of why I "had" to buy this coat. :D But he finally left the house, and my package arrived. I opened the door for the UPS guy like he was a drug dealer with the hot product. :ROFL:

I tried my coat on for a few minutes in the mirror, which is a KILLER trench coat btw, and tore the big box into tiny little pieces with a hack saw and placed it outside near the neighbor's garbage.

I laughed at myself for about 15 minutes, and forgot the plastic that it was wrapped in on his desk. My cat was playing with it (he would have caught me anyway) :roll:

Am I the only one who resorts to this?

LloydBrown
01-31-2006, 02:57 AM
My wife tries to hide stuff from me. We could have paid cash for a home with all the money she's wasted (yes, I've done the math).

As for me, I don't buy much. I've budgeted my hobbies for years. Plus, I've been able to earn more income from my hobbies than I have spent (through teaching with my karate; writing & business ownership for my gaming hobby).

reph
01-31-2006, 03:01 AM
You're probably not the only one. To answer your initial question, though, I don't hide purchases from my husband unless they're gifts for him. I don't lie to him, either.

Fortunately, shopping doesn't tempt me. I buy new clothes reluctantly, when I have to.

Carole
01-31-2006, 03:06 AM
Well, I don't really consider a new pair of jeans or a coat to be shopping sprees.

When I was married to ex-jerk, I never was allowed to buy anything. One Sunday morning as we were getting ready for church, we were both standing in our closet and something dawned on me as he grabbed one of his many suits off the rack. I said to him, "You know, every single thing of mine in this closet is a hand me down from my sister, a hand me down from my mom, or was bought for me by mom." He seemed to feel bad for about a minute and a half and then he got over it. He always told me that HE should pick out and buy my clothes and since I was so fat, he didn't LIKE to buy me clothes.

When we moved from that house to California, we had an unGodly amount of money in CASH no less (stupid) when we stopped off to visit all our family before we headed out west. I snuck into Target while he was sleeping and bought a pair of jeans off the clearance rack for something like $9 and I had to hurry to mom's and wash them several times and hide them in the bottom of my suitcase so I could pretend that mom gave them to me. As luck would have it, I didn't let mom in on how she *gave* me those jeans and of course ex-jerk ASKED her. My cover was totally blown. He flipped out. Bear in mind that he flipped out because I bought a pair of $9 jeans when HE just had gold plating put on every piece of chrome on the new Accord he just bought.

I can relate, but probably for different reasons. I had to hide everything.

Hubby though? He tries every way he can to get me to spend money on myself, but I still frequent thrift stores. I guess old habits die really hard.

Hannah
01-31-2006, 03:08 AM
I know, I feel so bad, but it's so funny to me. :)

I might just tell my husband, so he can get a laugh out of it, but I have to call my mom first. I'm sure she's done this before.

reph
01-31-2006, 03:15 AM
He always told me that HE should pick out and buy my clothes...
Wha– ?

Congratulations on leaving Wardrobe Master behind.

I believe that every adult should have his or her own money for clothing and personal items. Then these problems wouldn't arise.

Carole
01-31-2006, 03:40 AM
Wha– ?

Congratulations on leaving Wardrobe Master behind.

I believe that every adult should have his or her own money for clothing and personal items. Then these problems wouldn't arise.

Thanks. He actually convinced me that he was the "everything master". Thankfully he is now married to a chick who makes HIM walk the line. It does my heart good to watch her make him squirm. I can't stand her, but I love her way with him.

Having my own money wasn't an option when I was with him, though. I wasn't allowed to finish college and I was 26 before he allowed me to get a job.

I know that hearing about how one adult won't allow another adult to do something is hard for some people to wrap their mind around, but I was only 18 when I married him. He raised me how he wanted me.

poetinahat
01-31-2006, 03:45 AM
Je-Zus, Carole. I weep tears of joy that you're with us now.

I was going to make a flip comment about confessing to minor sins, thus avoiding suspicions for greater ones. But on reflection, I don't even find that funny myself.

I'll admit to some small 'don't ask, don't tell' peccadilloes, but in general, for me, everything's got to be in the open. I don't eat or sleep well otherwise.

'Course, sometimes people don't *want* to know every little thing. But for me, if I feel bad about it, I have to spill.

Carole
01-31-2006, 03:53 AM
Je-Zus, Carole. I weep tears of joy that you're with us now.

That's why I'm always smiling! (pay no attention to the serious expression in my avatar)




I'll admit to some small 'don't ask, don't tell' peccadilloes, but in general, for me, everything's got to be in the open. I don't eat or sleep well otherwise.

'Course, sometimes people don't *want* to know every little thing. But for me, if I feel bad about it, I have to spill.
I am much the same way. Even though I have been with hubby for over 8 years now, I'm still ruled by many of my old hangups - fear of his anger is one of them. He's never given me reason to feel that way. It's my own baggage that he, unfortunately, pays for pretty often.

I spill the beans over everything. Example: Just a couple of hours ago I called him to ask if he thought it would be ok for me to order some vitamins. "Sweetie!", He said, "You don't have to get clearance from me, ok?"

Hannah
01-31-2006, 04:04 AM
That coat charge has been on the credit card for a week (online statement), and he pays the bill for it.

The jeans I paid cash for. I didn't want it showing up on the statement. :)

But he did grant me a purchase of a few items that will be arriving this Thursday, so I won't have to hide those :hooray: .

But now I'm looking at a pair of shoes, and I must have them. :tongue

poetinahat
01-31-2006, 04:07 AM
I get more understanding smiles when I buy Her something too. We all like to be...
- thought of, and
- in on the scam!

P.H.Delarran
01-31-2006, 04:41 AM
I always tell Hubby everything I buy, but if it was a large spree..I might tell in small doses spread out over time. I just put the stuff away quietly and wear them when needed and assure him "it didn't cost much".
He is actually quite the shopper himself..we learned long time ago that it's not safe for both of us to go together..we racked up over $400 in clothes at a discount store together once.

unthoughtknown
01-31-2006, 06:01 AM
everything's got to be in the open. I don't eat or sleep well otherwise.


I am the same.

We aren't supposed to be buying anything this month because we both overdid it last month.

I told him that the rule had to exclude a red bedspread that I recently put on layby. :)

But then I was out the other day and saw the special edition of My Fair Lady for a crazy $15 -- we collect DVDs btw.

Yeah I know, it's only $15, but throw in a few of these kinds of purchases and it becomes totally sinful.

(I put on my best naughty but nice expression when I told him I bought it.)

Maryn
01-31-2006, 07:00 AM
Carole, I'm fortunate to be able to shop for clothes where I want (although, like reph, it's only done for necessity's sake, not pleasure), but I love the thrift stores!

Near the end of our nephew's wedding reception, the mothers of the bridal couple and several other people around their age, having had a fair amount to drink, started comparing what they'd spent on their dresses, most between $75 and $150. I just smiled and didn't say anything. Later, my sister asked if I was embarrassed to be able to afford to spend more than most people.

"Nah," I told her. "I was embarrassed to say I spent $6.99 at Goodwill."

I do have to hide spending sprees from Mr. Maryn--he gets mad that I shop thrift stores instead of "better department stores" where I'd get so much less for my money!

Maryn, smart shopper

William Haskins
01-31-2006, 07:02 AM
Do you hide shopping sprees from your spouse?

no. just killing sprees.

mommie4a
01-31-2006, 07:37 AM
I hide Double Stuff Oreo-eating sprees. Unfortunately, my body doesn't hide them nearly as well.

ChaosTitan
01-31-2006, 08:20 AM
I don't have a spouse, but on occasion I find myself hiding my shopping purchases from my roommate. We both live on pretty tight budgets, and I always feel a little guilty when I spend money on something frivolous (although it usually ends up being DVD's or stuff from work, which means discounts).

Shadow_Ferret
01-31-2006, 08:34 AM
Wow. I thought marriages were based on trust. What kind of relationship is it if you're lying about a pair of jeans... ?




I usually sneak books or dvds into the house. :)

Chacounne
01-31-2006, 10:46 AM
I hide Double Stuff Oreo-eating sprees. Unfortunately, my body doesn't hide them nearly as well.


Jill,

That is way, way too funny LOL

Falling off her chair,
Chac

My-Immortal
01-31-2006, 10:56 AM
No...I try to be good, but I have to be careful walking into any place that sells books or movies. My wife just got me another Border's Gift card to feed the need so perhaps I'll go out shopping later this week. Of course, I should get some sleep first.....

Take care all -

Melina
01-31-2006, 04:24 PM
No, I don't really have any reason to keep anything from him. If I want something, usually all I have to do is tell him. Not because I need his permission, but because we consult each other on those kinds of things. I'm not very good at spending money on myself, though--too many years as a single mom. He's actually the one who's kind of an impulsive buyer, and I find I have to reel him in sometimes when we're out shopping together.

rhymegirl
01-31-2006, 05:04 PM
I hide Double Stuff Oreo-eating sprees. Unfortunately, my body doesn't hide them nearly as well.

Now you're talking, Jill. Yeah, I don't eat goodies in front of him because he'd only chew me out. "You shouldn't be eating that!"

MadScientistMatt
01-31-2006, 05:50 PM
Someone - I think it was Orsen Wells, who would be speaking from experience - said, "Gluttony is one vice you cannot practice in secret." Unfortunately, being a gearhead is not an easily hidden vice either. I'm planning to buy a VW Microbus, but I can't quite figure out how I can hide it from my wife.

Just kidding. Actually, it was her idea to get a VW Bus, and I just insisted that I need to get the Triumph Spitfire sold and the Dodge Dart running first. :)

NeuroFizz
01-31-2006, 06:11 PM
Sorry, Hannah, but I think this whole thing is just wrong from top to bottom. And, I'm not saying who is to blame in the relationship to take it to this point, so please don't take my comment as a personal slam.

WVWriterGirl
01-31-2006, 08:39 PM
I don't hide stuff from him, because I often don't go shopping without him. It's my own little way of avoiding the temptation to buy things we don't really need. Also, he keeps my bank card in his wallet so that "spending sprees" don't extend to my home computer uses.

He doesn't do so bad, either. If he wants something new, like a game or software or hardware for the computer(s), he asks me. I laugh all the time because he's so like a little kid, saying, "Honey (mommy) can I have this?" *snicker*

trumancoyote
01-31-2006, 09:23 PM
I love hiding stuff I buy from the misses -- not because I don't want him to know I bought it, however.

I like being caught :)

BradyH1861
01-31-2006, 09:57 PM
My wife attempts to hide stuff from me. But I'm not as stupid as she would like to believe.

Shadow_Ferret
01-31-2006, 10:28 PM
To be honest, you guys must not be on as tight budgets as we are. If she was off buying jeans and coats that would mean that we wouldn't be making car payments or house payments for that month.

kathompson
01-31-2006, 11:10 PM
The only purchase I ever hide from the spouse Thingy is the occasional bag of Dove's dark chocolate, and that's because I'm mean and don't wanna share :)

Anything else...he knows I won't spend money we can't afford to spend, and nine times out of ten if I'm shopping, he's right there with me. He SAYS he doesn't like to shop, but I swear, he's a mall whore...

threedogpeople
01-31-2006, 11:23 PM
I'm lucky because my husband loves shopping more than I do. If I do go shopping without him, I know that he'll get a thrill if I've found a great deal (example a set of 8 Cuisinart knives in a storage case for $20).

It becomes a personal challenge for me to find the one thing that I know will make him say, "Great Deal!" when I get home. Last week I bought a fantastic, brand-new, 12' X 11' 8" graphic design carpet for $50 at the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store. This same brand and size is around $500 at the "regular" store. I also recently bought a set of white framed, mirrored closet doors for $25 at the same place.

Now, I do have to admit that I don't share with him goodies that I send to my parents. We send his mom checks for special events because she uses the money to travel. My parents prefer presents, so I do the shopping, shipping, etc. and my husband doesn't care about the details (TMI in his book).

Judy

Hannah
02-01-2006, 02:39 AM
To be honest, you guys must not be on as tight budgets as we are. If she was off buying jeans and coats that would mean that we wouldn't be making car payments or house payments for that month.


That's the thing. We are not on a tight budget: we don't have kids, we don't own a car, and we live below our means. :) But my husband doesn't see why I need clothes. :Shrug:

He can't hide the cards from me, He gave me one, not to mention I know the debit card number by heart :tongue

I don't know why I hide shopping from him. He'll never tell me no. I start to feel guilty when I go shopping three times a week, which was in this case. :D

poetinahat
02-01-2006, 03:19 AM
I don't hide stuff from him, because I often don't go shopping without him. It's my own little way of avoiding the temptation to buy things we don't really need.
I would take a second job to keep from going shopping. I like, I buy. She likes, she still wants to see all the options. Not a complaint -- we are just very incompatible shoppers.

*
Axiom:
Men will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item they need.
Women will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item they don't need.


*: format borrowed from veinglory, or was it three seven? One of those sophisticated blokes.

mommie4a
02-01-2006, 04:59 AM
Okay - without getting too personal, do you have a need to be a bad girl or think you've done something you shouldn't and then be admonished for it? Not trying to be kinky here, but since the other theories are falling by the wayside...thought I'd give this popular explanation a try.

For example, spouses that get "caught" looking at porn. It often has not too much to do with the porn itself but only that they think that the spouse won't like it and will admonish them for it, give them attention. And then, if the spouse is like, Heh, Playboy? No biggie - can I see? the fun is all gone.

Are you in need of not being perfect or perfectly happy in your relationship?

(Btw, you do not need to answer any of this - I'm just positing it to think about - and the answer may be a big resounding noooooo, nothing like that, which is fine.)

reph
02-01-2006, 05:47 AM
Hannah, I was thinking along similar lines to mommie4a, but a little different. Maybe you don't seek to be caught and admonished, but since you think three shopping trips in a week are too many, you assume your husband will disapprove, too. But will he? Maybe not. Getting new jeans and a coat might not be on his list of bad behaviors.

Hannah
02-01-2006, 08:22 AM
Well, the coat I bought cost $500, even though the jeans were $40. :)

I'm looking at a pair of shoes that cost $100 (Michael Kors), but I can't bring myself to mention it to him until next week. :D