Noise of Which there is no escape

MakanJuu · Jan 21, 2013

I'm just going to be short here, as the person I am talkng about can't really help it & I don't want to sound like a dick, but, this person makes constant... fucking... noise. I cannot go somewhere else to write. If I am in the back room of the. THIRD STORY apartment, I can hear her coming from the freaking front door. I can't concentrate on any effing thing at all because all my attention is, unfortunately, focused on her noise, whether I like it or not, as well as worrying that she is going to randomly barge into my room for some idiotic reason she just conjured up out of her ass & break my concentration anyway... which is already broken by her otherwise *facepalm*

Any suggestions to drowning her out so I can actually work?

PS- in case you are wondering, this person is an adult- older than me in fact...

SianaBlackwood · Jan 21, 2013

Invest in a set of headphones that block out external noise?

Kerosene · Jan 21, 2013

You could drown her...
What's going on and why is she making all that noise?

Anyways:
Headphones. Music.

And, after a while you'll grow accustomed to the noise.

PS: If you're looking into buying a pair of headphones, you can ask me. I'm... an addict.

Gynn · Jan 21, 2013

Headphones and door shut. When she barges in, she will notice the headphones and hopefully leave unless it's important. If she does bug you, pull off one muff and give her an expectant look, like you're really busy but will make a few seconds for her. Enough of this and she'll get the hint (unless this woman is your mother).

leahzero · Jan 21, 2013

Get a cheap pair of noise-isolating earbuds. You won't hear a thing.

As for barging into your room, that's something you need to have a discussion about, IMO. What if you were in the middle of something, um, private? Unless this is a parent or guardian we're talking about, you can and should be able to demand privacy in your room.

Marumae · Jan 21, 2013

I also second the suggestion for ear plugs, also white noise works well for me (A fan, Air Conditioner, Air Purifier, or one of those miniature fountains works as well), it might be just at the right level to block out a majority of their noise.

MakanJuu · Jan 21, 2013

I'll try with the music.

Basically, she is my mother & I'm staying with her as I recently lost my job, but she is paranoid schizophrenic. The noise is her thinking she is quietly talking to herself, when it's really in a whisper that is somehow so loud, I can hear it from behind the shut door, unless she is watching TV or listening to the radio. Other than that, she also paces & doesn't seem to understand that she is practically stomping, hence me being able to hear her entering the building.

She barges into my room when she thinks she need to tell me something important- 90% of the time it is not.

I never realized how bad it was annoying me, as I have a form of OCD, but I just spent the last 10 days in a two room efficancy with my friend, her husband & their one year old baby and was able to do more writing there than I've done in a long ass time & came home relaxed &, for once, largely without any Obsessions... until she started talking to herself again. Ugh.

I talked to her about it, but she is under deep delusions, even with medication, & can't even understand what I am asking her. I'd go somewhere else, but this is a city & the library & park are an hour's walk away & the nearest restaurants are a while up the road. Besides, I'd be worried that they mght kick me out if I don't order anything. That, and, it's winter & I have no car.

Kerosene · Jan 21, 2013

Are you in an apartment building with interior halls? Or open apartments? (I have no idea what they are officially called).
If you have a hallway/walkway/stairs outside your door, you can sit somewhere out there and type.
Either way, find somewhere to type where you can get peace and quiet. Find a cubbyhole to do your work.

And yeah, headphones will help you regardless. I like some trip-hop or jazz-hop for writing.
Some cheap, well isolating headphones would be some Philps SHE3584. But... I think the black color is sold out. Might want to scrounge around a bit for the color you want. I've got a pair and they isolate well.

I do have to mention, that your mother might not be on the correct medication (schizos sometimes don't react too well with many different medications). But don't take my word on it and I do not know of her situation.

MakanJuu · Jan 22, 2013

Thanks for the advice- I think I'll just try to load my laptop up with some ochestral / classical style music, that tends to calm me down & not draw too much attention away from writing and to the music.

Also, I have no clue about her medications and I wouldn't even begin to know where to start, but that could be an issue. Unfortunately, there's not much I can do about it between her social worker & her psychiatrist. She and I tend to drive each other up the wall & make each other worse whenever we're stuck in close uarters with one another. I dunno.

Wilde_at_heart · Jan 23, 2013

MakanJuu said:
I'll try with the music.

Basically, she is my mother & I'm staying with her as I recently lost my job, but she is paranoid schizophrenic. The noise is her thinking she is quietly talking to herself, when it's really in a whisper that is somehow so loud, I can hear it from behind the shut door, unless she is watching TV or listening to the radio. Other than that, she also paces & doesn't seem to understand that she is practically stomping, hence me being able to hear her entering the building.

She barges into my room when she thinks she need to tell me something important- 90% of the time it is not.

I never realized how bad it was annoying me, as I have a form of OCD, but I just spent the last 10 days in a two room efficancy with my friend, her husband & their one year old baby and was able to do more writing there than I've done in a long ass time & came home relaxed &, for once, largely without any Obsessions... until she started talking to herself again. Ugh.

I talked to her about it, but she is under deep delusions, even with medication, & can't even understand what I am asking her. I'd go somewhere else, but this is a city & the library & park are an hour's walk away & the nearest restaurants are a while up the road. Besides, I'd be worried that they mght kick me out if I don't order anything. That, and, it's winter & I have no car.

What can I say, that's a really awful situation and the only alternative might be to find somewhere else to stay - not easy to do with this lousy economy.

I have a spouse who "works" from home most of the time and paces around or babbles to me non-stop about the same thing over and over again so I understand where you're coming from on that level. Drives me mad.

Maybe you do need to recruit her psychiatrist or social worker to help you with that if possible. They might have some suggestions. A baby is a lot less stressful to be around than someone mentally ill, particularly if that person is a close relative.

All I can think of that might help is mentally 'shielding' yourself from her. Earphones might help, but maybe try visualizing some sort of force-field around you made of white or yellow energy that blocks 'her' out. If you look up stuff like 'blocking negative psychic energy' or some such thing you'll find videos on techniques. It might sound silly but could be worth a try.

Wishing you luck with it all, at any rate!

Myrealana · Jan 23, 2013

Write elsewhere?

With two kids and their various friends tromping through the house all the time, I find I can't get much done at home.

The library is nice, and free. Coffee shops usually want you to buy an overpriced cup of something, but they can be comfortable. My local Village Inn doesn't care if I only buy a cup of tea and sit there for hours - and they're open 24/7.

I usually walk to the library on Saturday mornings, which is a good 45 minutes from my house. It's good exercise, and I use the time and fresh air to go over what I'm going to write when I get there. Sometimes, I pack a lunch and stay all day.

jaksen · Jan 23, 2013

I'd bundle up and take the walk to the library. Even in the cold, if it's cold there, the walk will clear your head, get the circulation going and help work off some of the frustration/aggravation you are feeling.

Find a spot in the library in the stacks - far away from the rest of the world. Put a couple of books on the table with your PC or notebook and to any inquiring librarian, you are doing research. Period.

Then write.

And btw I'm a bit jealous of this scenario (library) as I live in a noisy house with a spouse who often works from home, taking phone calls, etc., and an adult, disabled son who might need something at any moment.

Take a walk. Then write.

onesecondglance · Jan 23, 2013

Thirding / fourthing / whatever the headphones.

I would suggest treating yourself to the best headphones you can afford, so that when you put them on you are retreating to a place of pleasure, rather than a nasty cheap pair of earbuds that remind you you're running away from distractions.

I have a pair of Sennheiser HD650s. They have lovely cushioned earpads, are incredibly comfortable to wear over long periods, block out everything you're not listening to, and most importantly sound like GOD. They weren't cheap, but they're worth it because putting them on is an express lane to my happy place. (I should point out that I saved up for months for these, so I am bound to be pleased with my purchase...)

(ETA: how much?! when I got mine a few years back they were half that... guess the exchange rate has screwed things. Anyway. Point is treat yourself.)

HTH!

Maryn · Jan 23, 2013

Yes on headphones. Our kids' dorm years were much improved with the inexpensive Sony Noise-Canceling headphones, which at the time were about $22.

Add a simple, light-weight lock to your bedroom's door which can only be engaged when you're inside. The kind with a chain costs about $7, a simple bolt under $5. If your mom's illness keeps her from respecting boundaries, this will help those boundaries to remain.

Get a bus schedule. The weather and the lack of a car is no reason to stay home when there are free, warm places you could write. Besides the library, consider other public areas like malls, bookstores, hospital waiting rooms, museum entrance areas, and any local colleges' buildings. Do what you can to get a handle on how long you'd be welcome to hang around after buying a cup of coffee or tea at other likely places.

Get walkin'. I'm past sixty and overweight, but an hour's walk, a long rest, and an hour back would be fully do-able, even in cold. (It's about 13.) Deep snow might change that--but that's when you use the bus.

I know it's not always easy to focus, but people with many demands on their time and distractions in their homes manage. You can, too.

Maryn, sure

Chase · Jan 23, 2013

MakanJuu said:
I can't concentrate on any effing thing at all because all my attention is, unfortunately, focused on her noise

You hearies and your issues! What noise?

tlotson · Feb 23, 2013

I love classical music and headphones to drown out distractions. You can also do a youtube search for concentration music or study music. There are a bunch of good mixes on there that last 30+ minutes and can be repeated without being annoying.

Jazz can also work to boost creativity (in my opinion) but it can also be a bit distracting.

leversandpulleys · Mar 7, 2013

Lots of helpful stuff.

However, if all the noise cancellation in the world doesn't settle your mind, there's also this:

http://zenpencils.com/comic/97-charles-bukowski-air-and-light-and-time-and-space/

The cartoon is new, but the text has inspired me for years to concentrate on my work like I was deaf and blind to all else.

Craig

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Noise of Which there is no escape

Your Pixie Queen

Wandering worlds

The colors! THE COLORS!

Queen of Quixotica

Your Pixie Queen

&#965;&#960;&#949;&#943;&#954;&#969;phobe

I aim to misbehave

Caped Codder

pretending to be awake

Baaa!

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

Thick Fish; Learning About New skin

υπείκωphobe