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WerenCole
01-29-2006, 10:07 PM
I suppose that other thread will apply to us sometime in our lives, but for the time being we are starving bachelors living in dirty apartments with no one to keep us company but our dogs. What is your tip for being a starving bachelor? Here are a few of mine:


Ramen Noodles- in a pinch there is always something to eat, I am a fan of the liquid based diet. . . ramen is a good cure for the hangover blues.

Crackers- keep a box of wheat thins handy in case of munchies.

Frozen, non-perishable items- It seems like the grocery stores are geared to people who have more than one mouth to feed, as bachelors we often buy something eat some of it then watch as the rest of it goes bad. Hot Pockets and chicken pot pies are a tasty meal in a bind. Also, so as to counter balance the carbohydrate based diet of most bachelors it is wise to buy a big bag of frozen chicken breasts when you just need protein.

Train Dog to Clean- Get your pup to tidy up while you are out, its gotta earn its keep one way or another. (In case you don't have a dog, hire a small robot)

BYOB- Often we would like to go out to the bar and have a good time, but are limited with funds. Keep beer and at home, drink until the cusp of drunkeness then walk to your closests bar and impress the ladies.

Stay organized- Clothes everywhere? Dishes running amuck? Find a system that works and keeps things out of the way. Metal shelves work for me to keep my wardrobe located in one corner of the room.

Find a Girlfriend- when all else fails a woman can help you out of your rut and send you on the way towards (cringe) domestication. . .

So, my friends. What do you do to stay fed and healthy in today's high stress world of bachelordom? Let's here what you got to say.

Carole
01-29-2006, 11:37 PM
Hubby says, from when he was a bachelor:

Bachelor Stew: (I hate this stuff, but he still loves it)
1 package of beef flavored Ramen noodles
1/2 pound of hamburger
1 package of brown gravy

Cook the ramen noodles with the seasoning and brown the hamburger separately.
Mix them together and add a cup of water and the package of gravy.

Pita sandwiches: They're versatile and you can eat them while you run out the door. He used to make scrambled eggs, throw in cheese and whatever meat happened to be in the fridge then stuff it into the pita.

Frozen burritos

Hot Pockets

Cereal

Never run out of pepsi and never run out of milk.

He always kept a huge tub of protein mix to make smoothies.


When all else fails, order pizza.

kikazaru
01-30-2006, 12:13 AM
Maybe there should be a thread for 101 recipes for Ramen. This one is great - almost as good as your favourite Chinese restaurant soup.

Sexed Up Ramen Soup

2 pkgs chicken RAmen soup with seasonings
4 cups water
1/2 pkg frozen oriental veggie mix
handful of shrimp, or finely cut up chicken breast or both (you can use left overs as well - put it in at the end to heat)
1 tsp garlic paste
1 tsp of ginger paste
1 tsp of fermented black bean paste
Oriental chili sauce, or chili flakes to your taste
handful of cilantro
chopped green onions

Bring water to boil with soup seasonings, garlic, ginger, chili and black beans add chicken or shrimp boil a minute or so (if your chicken is finely cut it cooks quickly) add your veggies bring to boil add noodles. Cook 2 minutes Remove from heat add cilantro and green onion. If you like Hot and Sour Soup at 1 Tbs of rice vinegar.

StoryG27
01-30-2006, 12:19 AM
Wow, my poor kids eat like starving bachelors.


*Note to guys, don't marry someone like me who doesn't really like to cook*

WerenCole
01-30-2006, 07:31 AM
StoryGirl, for the record I am a chef by profession. . . I'm just broke :cry:


Yes, you can do lots of things with ramen. That is where the frozen chicken in the freezer often comes in handy. Mixed with a little mire poix and you have yourself a stew. It may be unfair to give a negative connotation to ramen noodles for the fact that they are cheap. They are really no different than buying any other kind of asian noodle. I like soba noodles myself.

I also thought if was funny that Hot Pockets seem to be popular among people on the go. . . I really don't like most of the ones they offer, just the Pepperoni pizza kind, which I am quite fond of.

I am pretty sure that the young bachelor(ette) is an under represented segment of the population here at AW, but please do share more thoughts on coping in a single life style capacity.

(grasshopper)
01-30-2006, 01:00 PM
Ramen-ghetti:

1/2 lb hamburger
1 14-oz can tomato sauce
1 pkg beef ramen

Brown hamburger and drain.
Add tomato sauce.
Add spice packet from ramen.
Heat until bubbly.

Boil ramen in water until soft then drain.
Put ramen in a bowl and add tomato/meat sauce.


I usually make this up using a pound of hamburger meat (under two dollars if you look hard) and a 28 oz can of tomato sauce (99 cents at my local Food-4-Less) and two packages of ramen (20 cents). It makes two solid meals for a little over three bucks.

Add sauteed onions and garlic if available. A cube of beef bullion doesn't hurt.

kikazaru
01-30-2006, 06:22 PM
It's been my experience, that single women don't cook that much for themselves. I think by nature we are more snackers and grazers than a "sit down to eat a large regular meal" type people, as men are. I was a very good cook, but I rarely cooked for myself - prefering to have things like cheese and crackers, soup, veggies and dip, scrambled eggs, pasta, fruit, yoghurt or even cereal. On the odd time that I did, it would be chicken. I know that I would revert if I was single again - with the exception perhaps the addition of some frozen microwaveable meals.

I did know how to stretch a dollar though. I lived in a bachelor apt. I bought all of my clothes (and furniture) on sale or from yard sales, the Sally Ann or Goodwill (some really great stuff there). I stuck to classics - not trendy. I did not buy stuff I didn't need or impulsively. I did not have cable tv, no magzine or newspaper subscriptions - I borrowed from the library. I did not own a car which is a huge expense. I imagine if I had to do it again I would own a computer for WP, but go to the library to use their internet if I needed. I also had only one credit card, with an extremely low limit.

The funny thing was, I never felt poor or deprived.

MadScientistMatt
01-30-2006, 06:27 PM
Ramen may be one popular option for people with no money, but let's not forget one of the most popular ones worldwide: Beans! They're nutritious, low in fat, and popular in virtually every Third World country you can think of. Here's my favorite bean recipe:

Bean Chili
1 to 2 cups pinto beans
2 onions
Chili powder, salt, pepper, garlic, and hot sauce to taste
Can of diced tomatoes (optional)
1 pound of whatever ground meat was on sale (optional)

Put the beans in a pot with plenty of water to cover and bring to a boil. Toss in one of the onions whole and add spices to taste. Boil for 1-2 hours until the beans seem nearly done. Fish out the onion and throw it away.

Peel and dice the second onion. Brown the meat, if you're using it, along with some salt in a frying pan. Add the meat, onion, and tomatoes, and cook for another 10 minutes or so.

Note that I usually don't bother soaking the beans.

Medievalist
01-30-2006, 07:20 PM
Ramen may be one popular option for people with no money, but let's not forget one of the most popular ones worldwide: Beans! They're nutritious, low in fat, and popular in virtually every Third World country you can think of.

I give you Grad Student Chili (http://www.digitalmedievalist.com/commonplaces/archives/000281.html)

rtilryarms
01-30-2006, 07:32 PM
Chinese restaurant for the $5.50 lunch combo special. Eat the soup and eggroll and a little of the main course and take the rest to go. You then have 3 to 4 days of main course you can cut into separate meals with rice, spaghetti, brocolli, shrimp cheap chicken and stew beef. For variety get chow mein one day and beef & brocolli the next.

Chicken wings are cheap too.

johnnysannie
01-30-2006, 08:55 PM
These are actual things I cooked up when I was younger, single, and on a limited budget:

Cheese burritos: smear a little salsa on a tortilla, add a slice of processed cheese, fold up and melt in microwave. If you want to get fancy, toss a few onions or a little cheese on top. Alternative version is quesdillas - use tortillas with cheese and salsa in the middle and brown on both sides in a skillet.

If you like ham sandwiches, don't pay $5.99 and up a pound in the deli but watch for sales on boneless hams at the supermarket. Ask the butcher to slice thin or shave (most will for no extra charge) and buy some good ziplock baggies. Divide the meat into them, freeze all but one or two and use for months. Cheap but good sandwich meat!

Loose hamburger (I learned this one from my dad)....just brown a pound of hamburger (ground turkey or pork work too), season a little, drain the grease and eat. This can be served over bread too and my husband says in his version, he dumped cheese into the meat to melt.

Tacoburger - season a pound of hamburger with taco seasoning, then store (but use in few days unless you freeze some) to use in tacos, on buns as a sort of sloppy joe (or jose), in burritos, with eggs, etc.

For a filling meal, get a can of good soup (like Progresso) and serve over some rice. By using rice, you can get at least two meals out of one can of soup.

Then there's always Hamburger Helper - I've seen smaller boxes designed for one or two.

WerenCole
01-30-2006, 11:00 PM
Chinese restaurant for the $5.50 lunch combo special. Eat the soup and eggroll and a little of the main course and take the rest to go. You then have 3 to 4 days of main course you can cut into separate meals with rice, spaghetti, brocolli, shrimp cheap chicken and stew beef. For variety get chow mein one day and beef & brocolli the next.

Chicken wings are cheap too.


Ha! Thats great, I have the same theory on chinese food. Sometimes my friend will wonder why I am getting 15-20$ in chinese delivery, but they don't realize that I am eating for five days off it. I have heard people say that once you get chinese food, you need to eat all of it because its just so yummy. (Her quote and I didn't like her all that much) My thoughts were to the contrary, chinese food is made specifically for left overs. It is another form of grocery shopping in my world. A lesser extent with pizza, because other people tend to pilfer slices from the fridge, but same principal.

Also, I hate chicken wings.

louisgodwin
01-31-2006, 11:27 AM
Beans N Franks: 1 can of van de camps pork & beans in a bowl, zap it for 2 minutes in the microwave. Either microwave or boil in water how ever many hot dogs you want, cut them up, and then toss them in the bowl of beans & mix.

My wife hates it, but I still love it.

maestrowork
01-31-2006, 11:36 AM
All-you-can-eat pizza at Ciccone's. $3.99.

NeuroFizz
01-31-2006, 05:16 PM
English Muffin Pizzas

Split English muffins and place on a cookie sheet
Spread with pizza sauce (homemade is best, but the stuff in jars is okay)
Coat with shredded Mozzarella
Throw on toppings (whatever you like/have)
Bake at 350 degrees until the cheese melts

NeuroFizz
01-31-2006, 07:52 PM
Oh, yeah. And the mantra of all bachelors and newly married men (a behavior soon changed) . . .

Why wash a pan today when you can soak it until tomorrow.

Soaking loosens all the tough-stuck stuff, right? This nugget of logic seems to be totally lost on women, so says my experience.

Jaycinth
01-31-2006, 08:38 PM
HEY!!!!!HEY!!!!!! How many times have I told my son..."Put it in the sink to soak. Add a little vinegar to break up the organics. Do not waste all of my hot water scrubbing the thing!!"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr:rant:

Oh Oh Oh!! You are SO back on my 'silly man' list!!!!!!!
( Your poor, poor wife!)

NeuroFizz
01-31-2006, 09:00 PM
HEY!!!!!HEY!!!!!! How many times have I told my son..."Put it in the sink to soak. Add a little vinegar to break up the organics. Do not waste all of my hot water scrubbing the thing!!"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr:rant:

Oh Oh Oh!! You are SO back on my 'silly man' list!!!!!!!
( Your poor, poor wife!)
When did I ever crawl off of it? I'll be the first to admit I get my Y chromosome caught in my zipper on a regular basis. However, by the nature of this thread (on bachelors), exaggeration and posturing is a necessity, and to call us on it demeans the very foundation of bachelorhood. Besides, my final phrase indicates my view is based on my personal experience, even though n = 2. The next time I cook up my enchildada casserole, I'll be over with the pot, for a good soaking. I'll leave it to you as to which one of us (me or the pot) gets the soaking.

Jaycinth
01-31-2006, 09:03 PM
When did I ever crawl off of it? I'll be the first to admit I get my Y chromosome caught in my zipper on a regular basis. However, by the nature of this thread (on bachelors), exaggeration and posturing is a necessity, and to call us on it demeans the very foundation of bachelorhood. Besides, my final phrase indicates my view is based on my personal experience, even though n = 2. The next time I cook up my enchildada casserole, I'll be over with the pot, for a good soaking. I'll leave it to you as to which one of us (me or the pot) gets the soaking.


Vinegar. Gallons and gallons of tepid apple cider vinegar for both of you.

WerenCole
01-31-2006, 09:55 PM
However, by the nature of this thread (on bachelors), exaggeration and posturing is a necessity, and to call us on it demeans the very foundation of bachelorhood.


Well said chap!

In terms of soaking. . . this is assuming that the dishes are done on a regular basis (I am getting better at this but I will admit that I have had girlfriends refuse to enter my apartment on grounds of filth, I am better now that I have a dishwasher in my apartment) As a chef, not that chefs ever burns pans, the soaking method is preferred in the kitchen, sometimes overnight if need be. The other alternative is to wash the pan right away while you can use the residual heat to help clean it, keep the clutter away. The last female to visit me noted that the place was clean, except for the stacks upon stacks of Mark Twain related material that blankets every surface. I found it to be an acceptable criticism.

And it's funny you mention vinegear, because on a normal basis I have no use for that apple cider vin in my cupboard. Maybe it will find a use.

johnnysannie
02-01-2006, 01:16 AM
Drop a dryer softening sheet into a pan that has stuck on food and soak it for a few hours then voila! Everything will come off easy.

NeuroFizz
02-01-2006, 01:42 AM
This thread brought back memories of an idea I've had for some time--to create a useful guy-on-his-own cookbook, with insights into maleness that go beyond the production of easy but tasty dishes. It was hatched from my summer research trips, without family, in which I spend up to 7 weeks on my own, or sharing accomodations with a colleague, also away from his family. Obviously, the fare is quite different than that at home.

I've never done anything substantial with the idea, except for jotting down some thoughts and a short list of recipes (see the English Muffin Pizzas in an earlier post). I thought an edited volume would be the way to go--soliciting recipes (and comments) from other on-their-own males. Maybe an AW production is the way to go. Any takers for co-editors? Some exerpts from the "What you'll need" section are below, and if nothing else, make a useful addition to this thread.


A cookie sheet. It doesn’t have to be a good one. It can be dented, wrinkled, stained, as long as the stains are baked in. You’re not going to cook cookies on it, unless they’re the kind that come in the tubes, ready to slice and bake. And then, only if you don’t eat the raw dough first.


Garlic salt
Garlic powder
Garlic cloves
Garlic bubble gum
Garlic scented toilet paper (sorry, got carried away to make a point)


Peanut butter – on toast, it’s flavor changes to four out of five stars (five stars being equal to the taste of bacon). In a pinch, eat a big dollup right from a tablespoon.


Microwave

Toaster – Pop-Tarts actually taste better if you toast them. Don’t butter anything
BEFORE you put it in the toaster.


Aluminum foil - to cover/line every sheet or pan that goes in the oven. If it holds, you’ve just saved yourself a messy washing job. Don’t put it in the microwave unless you’re at your friend’s house and the party sucks (claim ignorance if the beer hasn’t kicked in).


Paper plates (the cheap ones, not the kind with compartments). Get ‘em by the hundred and double them up if the grease starts soaking through. There isn’t a more versatile kitchen necessity than the paper plate. It’s dinner china, microwave cookware, cutting board and ladle/spatula rest all rolled into one. And we’re not talking about the innovative uses that occasionally strike us, and not just in the kitchen.


Butter! F..k margarine. And, get it in the sticks. The wrapper has measure marks so you know exactly where to slice it to get twice what the recipe calls for.


Onions. If you cry when you chop one, you’re not fast enough.


Lettuce – You don’t need any of that fancy stuff. Just break up iceberg, thrown in cut-up onions, shake on sunflower seeds and bacon bits, and top with cheddar shreds and dressing (screw the Lite stuff—it isn’t spelled right). The rule of thumb: If you like the other kinds of greens, go for it. If you’re using them because you want to impress someone, buy a dress. And don’t let anyone sneak spinach in there. I hate the stuff. My wife put some in and informed me later, with a victorious wink, “See you ate spinach.” My response—see, that’s why the divorce rate is so high. I said it on the inside, of course.


Cooking Oil – it doesn’t have to be olive oil (extra virgin sounds like jail bait). And just get the small bottle. You only need a little. No matter how good a sport she is, she won’t let you bring the bottle of oil into the bathtub for a little slippery rasslin’. If you have one of those deep fryers, bless your heart, you’d better buy the five-gallon drum at Sam’s Club. And don’t forget the oil change disposal tub they sell at the Napa Auto Parts store. They don’t check to see what kind of oil is in them. Just don’t mix in bacon grease. That’s a smell a man can detect down to a few parts per billion, from a mile downwind… No, wait. That’s a male moth smelling the female’s pheromone. Make that a few parts per trillion from two miles downwind for bacon grease.


Bacon, and calm yourself on this one. If women learn the power of bacon, they’ll never again do that thing their mothers told them only bad girls do, to get you to do things you don’t want to do, or to get you to let her buy things you can’t afford. Pity the man who doesn’t have bacon and a solvent credit card.
How to dispose of bacon grease.

Let it harden and use it as a deodorant stick
Mix it with Elmer’s glue and use it as a dog chew
Use it as a reward for teaching the dog to fetch brassieres off of clothes lines
Smear it on your wife’s cat and turn your dog loose
Dip your lime wedge in it before inserting the wedge into the bottle of Mexican beer (and it goes it a lot easier)


A 350o Oven - Almost everything can be cooked at 350 degrees, unless the box tells you to use another temperature.

maestrowork
02-01-2006, 03:33 AM
Why wash a pan if you can just buy a new one.
-- ultimate bachelor

WVWriterGirl
02-01-2006, 06:01 AM
I've got a great little recipie that is great for bachelors, especially if you've got the guys coming over to watch the game. My husband has me fix this for his get togethers and, as a matter of fact, we had it for dinner tonight. Even the name sounds manly!

Macho Nachos
Brown 2 pounds of ground beef in a skillet and drain. Dump in 2 taco seasoning packets and about 1 1/2 cups of your favorite chunky-style salsa and about 1/2 cup water. Stir it up good so that the seasoning packet and salsa is evenly distributed and everything looks moist. In a baking dish of your choice (just make sure it's about 3 inches deep - the deeper the better) spread out your favorite THICK style tortilla chip (you could probably even use Fritos). Spoon on some of the beef mixture, cover with shredded cheddar or Mexican-blend cheese. Add another layer of chips, meat and cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes, until cheese is blubbly and beginning to brown. Serve with cold salsa, guacamole, sour cream, chopped tomatoes and lettuce, black olives - basically whatever you like on tacos.

Good stuff!

samgail
02-01-2006, 10:29 AM
BLTs can help save on after hours expenses. When you are deciding at the bar whose house you are going to after, ask two questions
1. Do you have beer?
2. Do you have bacon?
When no one has them you quickly dispatch someone to the store invite your friends over and everybody pitches in to help cover the cost. If they don't have any money tell them they are responsible for bringing the weed. Meet back at your place for a delicious feast. Turn on the stereo, soak the pan and keep partying.
Sam
P.S. it is wise to hide the ramen during these gatherings.

watcher
02-01-2006, 11:37 AM
(Here's what I can do to help, guys.)

GIRLS

A TIP FOR MEETING BACHELORS

One of the best places to meet bachelors is at the supermarket around suppertime. They shop then because they only shop when they're hungry and their cupboards and frigs are perpetually empty.

Happy dating!

arrowqueen
02-02-2006, 01:32 AM
How to deal with a burnt pan:

1) Scrape off the worst with the flat blade of a knife.
2) Soak overnight in a pan of hot, soapy water.
3) Throw in bin when no-one's looking.
4) Buy a new one.

NeuroFizz
02-02-2006, 09:57 PM
WICOE


(Women In Charge Of Everything)

is proud to announce the opening of its

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course

will accept a maximum of eight participants.

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:




DAY ONE

¨ HOW TO WATER THE PLANTS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

¨ TOILET ROLLS -- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

¨ DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

¨ DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

¨ REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

¨ LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

¨ EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE GARBAGE?
Group discussion and role play

¨ HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

¨ REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

¨ IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

¨ LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

¨ HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

¨ REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

¨ GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available

WerenCole
02-02-2006, 10:24 PM
Is the teacher hot?

threedogpeople
02-03-2006, 03:36 AM
WICOE


(Women In Charge Of Everything)

is proud to announce the opening of its

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course

will accept a maximum of eight participants.

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:




DAY ONE

¨ HOW TO WATER THE PLANTS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

¨ TOILET ROLLS -- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

¨ DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

¨ DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

¨ REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

¨ LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

¨ EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE GARBAGE?
Group discussion and role play

¨ HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

¨ REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

¨ IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

¨ LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

¨ HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

¨ REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

¨ GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available

You forget the special session on:

LEARNING TO LISTEN TO THE BIG BRAIN

INTRODUCTION TO PRODUCE

COMMUNICATING WITH WOMEN
Note: this course has been retitled from - Trick Questions and How to Identify Them Before You Get in Trouble

tiny
02-03-2006, 05:15 AM
Hmmm. Starving bachelors? Tie them to a tree and don't feed'em. Easy. Basement works, too.

Haggis
02-03-2006, 05:33 AM
Slim Jims, a package of Oreos and a six pack. Three of the basic food groups in one meal.

maestrowork
02-03-2006, 06:06 AM
I'm going on an all-chocolate diet. Anyone cares to join me?

writerterri
02-03-2006, 08:15 AM
Poorboy's Spaghetti


1 cup of Cup-o-Soup

2 squirts of catchup

and sprinckle cheese


smackin'

brokenfingers
02-03-2006, 05:19 PM
If things are going too badly, I usually show up unexpectedly on one of my married friend's doorsteps around dinner time.

Works every time...

rhymegirl
02-03-2006, 06:14 PM
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME...Individual counselors available.


I like this one!

silentpoet
02-03-2006, 09:03 PM
I have a few recipes that I refer to as warm ups. They take less time to fix than the oven does to warmup. Pre shredded cheese is your friend.

Nachos with jalepenos. Just spread some chips out on a plate, put the peppers on and then cover with cheese. Heat the oven to 350-375. Takes about 6 minutes to heat up and about 6-8 minutes to cook. So in 12-14 minutes you can have a healthy snack/meal.

Boneless skinless chicken breasts are healthy and really easy to fix. defrost the chicken breasts in the microwave. Just put them in a glass cake or casserole pan and throw various peppers and spices on them. Cover with foil. Heat oven to 375-400. Takes quite awhile to cook(40 minutes-hour), but very little of that is actual working cooking time.

Pita bread as already mentioned is awesome. I fix pizzas alot. Use a fork to put alot of holes in the pita bread. Keeps it from fluffing up and ruining your pizza. Pour some marinara type sauce(I have a good cheap garlic sauce at home that works real good) and then add some red pepper. Spread the sauce around then put your toppings, then your cheese. Heat the oven to 450 and cook for about 6-8 minutes. It takes maybe 20 minutes total.

Ramen noodles are pretty good. Wal-mart has a generic/great value brand that is now 10 cents a pack.

The thin steaks for philly cheese stakes are pretty easy to prepare. Cut up some onions and bell peppers with them. Use a tortilla and fix wraps or even pita bread.

I am a big fan of marinades. I like to marinade chicken and beef. I fixed an awesome roast a while back and ate for 2-3 days. Then about a week later I cleaned up.

The best tool for home cleaning is a shop vac. Good, powerful, cheap, what's not to like. Air fresheners are helpful, if you don't really want to clean. I have one plug in and a couple of cans. Febreeze is really good for stinks around the house. You can clean the toilet rim with the old TP tube. Get a couple of cheap soap despensers for the bathrooms and sinks. They make it easy to clean up.

silentpoet
02-03-2006, 09:05 PM
¨ REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did


I think he was really a woman who had the sex change operation.
or

He wasn't a straight man.

StoryG27
02-03-2006, 09:15 PM
If things are going too badly, I usually show up unexpectedly on one of my married friend's doorsteps around dinner time.

Works every time...

This happens to us all the time around dinner time. Before they were deployed, we could count on at least two nights a week where a few of the 'starving' single soldier would show up for what they called a 'real' meal.

That's how I could tell they were really starving and not just faking it...They actually ate my cooking. You have to be starving or just very brave (or a member of my family who are forced) to do that.

maestrowork
02-03-2006, 09:27 PM
Whatis dis showing up on married friends' footsteps thing yunz talking about? Learn something new every day.

Ray, bringing out my little black address book...

writerterri
02-04-2006, 12:14 AM
Whatis dis showing up on married friends' footsteps thing yunz talking about? Learn something new every day.

Ray, bringing out my little black address book...



I'd feed ya if you showed up, but then there would be a sudden emergency where the kids would have to stay home and you'd be my new sitter for the night.:tongue

Maryn
02-04-2006, 01:15 AM
Smart, Terri, very smart!

LloydBrown
02-04-2006, 01:29 AM
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN ONLY

I really do not get it.

I am the only one who puts the toilet paper on the roll in my house.
I always put my laundry up. My wife leaves it wherever she happens to take it off.
I do all of the dishes (and 90% of the cooking).
I never lose the remote.
I rarely lose things, and I start by looking where they go. Once I did find my keys in the freezer, but that was an isolated event, and I still have no idea how it happened.
Empty milk cartons? For one, I don't drink milk. Second, when I'm done with anything, the trash goes in the trash. Dishes go in the sink; all tools get restored to their proper place.
Flowers...whatever.
Get lost? I don't get lost. For one thing, I have 12 years of experience delivering pizza. That means that I know to get good directions before I leave. Also, in case of a mistake, you never look for more than 2 minutes before asking for directions. Company policy and good idea. My time is way more value than any satisfaction I might get wandering around somewhere unknown. That's just stupid.
Who parallel parks? In any case, my wife's usually a competent driver.
I don't talk about my mother, at least not to my wife. But...that's not really a subject for humor.
I've never forgotten an important date. If I were to ever be late for anything, I'm sure I'd call first.
Wrong all the time? I don't think so.

maestrowork
02-04-2006, 01:33 AM
I really do not get it.

I am the only one who puts the toilet paper on the roll in my house...

I think you married a man, dude.

WerenCole
02-04-2006, 01:38 AM
I really do not get it.
I always put my laundry up. My wife leaves it wherever she happens to take it off.

I think the key word here is WIFE. . . now. . . you may be a misnomer, or you may have just become domesticated. . . but you are admittedly not a bachelor(ette), and have not produced a nugget of wisdom regarding such topic. Furthermore I am certain that you at one point in your life were in some way the typical male, which, from your post, you are expressing not to be in the slightest. I myself am not the typical of that list but some of that list may apply, some not. At the same time responding to a series of jestful stereotypes is an anecdote that most cultures can identify with. We love to poke fun at ourselves, how else would we stay sane?

NicoleJLeBoeuf
02-04-2006, 02:07 AM
Yahey.

That fabric softener trick.

That work with milk burnt good'n'hard onto the stove burner coil?

I keep spraying with degreaser. I keep soaking. I keep scrubbing. No good. I am just about resigned to turning the stove exhaust fan up high, plugging the burner back in, and burning the crap off.

(That'll teach me to put hot chocolate on to heat and then leaving the room.)

Would the fabric softener trick save me a house full of stink?

LloydBrown
02-04-2006, 02:25 AM
10 years married.

I kept my bachelor pad pretty neat. I never made the bed, though. It's not like anybody but me was getting in it...

WerenCole
02-04-2006, 08:28 AM
10 years married.

I kept my bachelor pad pretty neat. I never made the bed, though. It's not like anybody but me was getting in it...

Sorry buddy. . . how did you end up getting married in that case?


(This coming from a man who has gone through a multitude of relationships that fail because he never makes the bed. . .):banana:

tiny
02-04-2006, 08:41 AM
(This coming from a man who has gone through a multitude of relationships that fail because he never makes the bed. . .):banana:


There is no point to making a bed that you are just going to get into the next night.

WerenCole
02-04-2006, 08:47 AM
A bed? What's that? I just get drunk and sleep on the couch. . . with my dog.

writerterri
02-04-2006, 10:52 AM
LloyedBrown, you're a dream!


I have a wife too in the form of a man (well, most of the time).

reph
02-04-2006, 11:04 AM
I have a wife too in the form of a man (well, most of the time).
What form does he take the rest of the time?

(grasshopper)
02-04-2006, 04:59 PM
I really do not get it.




Say, Lloyd . . . you don't have an uncle named Adrian Monk, do you? :tongue

writerterri
02-04-2006, 10:42 PM
What form does he take the rest of the time?


Restless Stallion! :D

(grasshopper)
02-05-2006, 03:18 AM
I suppose that other thread will apply to us sometime in our lives, but for the time being we are starving bachelors living in dirty apartments with no one to keep us company but our dogs. What is your tip for being a starving bachelor?

Popcorn is an excellent device for curbing hunger cheaply. You can munch it as a side dish with meals. But when I was in college, I lived on popcorn and unsweetened kool-aid for months at a time :) .

WerenCole
02-05-2006, 03:31 AM
That's hilarious. . . I just went to the store and got (among other things) a really big bag of popcorn, and, well. . . sweetened Kool-Aid mix. . . unsweetened is just bitter. . . nasty really. . .

writerterri
02-05-2006, 04:44 AM
That's hilarious. . . I just went to the store and got (among other things) a really big bag of popcorn, and, well. . . sweetened Kool-Aid mix. . . unsweetened is just bitter. . . nasty really. . .






Umm, add a cup of sugar to that and two quarts of water and stir. Sweet KoolAid!;)

(grasshopper)
02-05-2006, 08:46 AM
Well, to be honest, I only did the no sugar thing a couple of times. And, uh, well, it wasn't exactly months, but I really was pretty poor.

roach
02-05-2006, 09:49 AM
Easy pasta bake:

1 package of pasta (bow-tie, penne, radiatore, whatever, I get my pasta from Costco in 17.5 oz packages)
1 jar of spaghetti sauce
1 lb hamburger (opt.)
1 bag shredded cheese (8 oz)

Cook the pasta, drain.
Brown hamburger, drain.
Mix pasta, sauce, hamburger and half of the cheese together.
Put in rectangular baking dish. Sprinkle with remaining cheese.
Cook at 325 degrees for 25 minutes.

This makes a whole messload of pasta good for feeding several people for dinner or a small number with lots of leftovers. It freezes and reheats well.

Carole
02-05-2006, 07:48 PM
Roach, that is a staple dinner around here. Minus the meat if I am here alone.

roach
02-05-2006, 09:18 PM
Roach, that is a staple dinner around here. Minus the meat if I am here alone.

Same here Carole. I'd even go so far as to say that it is so simple my husband could make it, but I have yet to see evidence of that. :D

SC Harrison
02-05-2006, 09:38 PM
I originally posted this pasta salad thing on the Thanksgiving thread, but I eat this all year round:

Tortellini and rotini (multi-colored), thinly sliced cucumber, sliced ripe olives, sliced mushrooms, diced red onions, pimientos, garlic summer sausage cut into strips, a dash of lemon juice, all doused with Italian dressing and Greek vinaigrette.

This stuff will keep in the fridge for a week or so before going south, and you can serve it with other foods or by itself.

silentpoet
02-09-2006, 07:34 AM
Roach, that is a staple dinner around here.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteROFL.gif

You do realize how that sounds don't you?

Elincoln
02-09-2006, 08:16 AM
Easy pasta bake

Wow, we had something similar, but we didn't bake it. Just boiled the pasta and dumped it into the sauce with the ground beef, then put cheese on top.
Called it "Heck of a Mess".


And for the boys. I have one word for you:


CONDIMENTS

At one point in my life, I was cooking for frat boys in exchange for a room (LONG story). They had every kind of sauce you could think of. Then anything they would find got smothered in whatever condiment they favored. Some combinations I remembered.

BBQ covered Chicken
Hot Sauce and Crackers
Asian Duck sauce with french fries
Bread, deep fried and eaten with ketsup
Mustard dipped pasta (no kidding.)

The list went on.

DamaNegra
02-09-2006, 09:20 AM
When I'm alone at home with no one to cook for me I either

a) grab a tortilla, put cheese in it and microwave them together and voila! I have a quesadilla, which is quite filling

b) grab a tortilla and leftover meat (any kind). I heat them up and voila! I have a taco

c) grab a tortilla and black beans, heat them un and voila! I have another taco!

d) grab a tortilla and heat it. It's still filling and nutritious :D

Tortilla's the best food ever invented in the world, and the one that can be used to eat almost everything (even some sweet stuff). Hey, it can even be used instead of forks or sometimes even spoons, and can serve as a dish for more solid foods.

WerenCole
02-09-2006, 10:20 PM
you'd survive well in the culinary industry Dama. . . when a chef is hungry and their is a tortilla about, the possibilities are endless and quick.


The problem with us chefs is that we eat little things all the time and forget to have a meal. Our basic meal consists of something small eaten over a trash can.

roach
02-10-2006, 12:11 AM
Here's another one known as Reynold's Mess in our family (named after my father):

1 lb of ground beef
2 packages of macaroni and cheese
1 package of cream cheese
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
Garlic salt to taste

Brown the beef and drain. Cook the mac n cheese according to the package. Dump everything in a big pot and cook until heated through.

If you are lactose intolerant do not try this at home. It's hot and delicious, filling, makes lots of leftovers, even tastier the next day cold and did I mention filling? :D

Steven Pollack
03-31-2006, 08:52 AM
Complete break the glass emergency bachelor food: Bread and salad dressing. Steven (gratefully married)

Anya Smith
03-31-2006, 09:57 AM
WICOE


(Women In Charge Of Everything)

is proud to announce the opening of its

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN ONLY

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course

will accept a maximum of eight participants.

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:




DAY ONE

¨ HOW TO WATER THE PLANTS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

¨ TOILET ROLLS -- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

¨ DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

¨ DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

¨ REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

¨ LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

¨ EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE GARBAGE?
Group discussion and role play

¨ HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

¨ REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

¨ IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

¨ LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

¨ HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION

Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

¨ REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

¨ GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available

That's it, my hubby is signed up for this one.

badducky
03-31-2006, 08:04 PM
Hummus is an excellent and inexpensive way to increase your protien intake for less than 3 dollars a package.

Not everyone likes hummus, but I think it's the tops.

Also, One package of Spanish rice+one can corn+one can black beans=good, cheap.

Walk to the grocery store. It saves gas, and forces you to buy only what you can carry.

brokenfingers
03-31-2006, 08:14 PM
Walk to the grocery store. It saves gas, and forces you to buy only what you can carry.Hahahaha! That's true! I just started walking to my supermarket myself recently. I don't have a problem overbuying or over-eating but I forgot to realize that I couldn't buy as much due to the fact that I had to carry the stuff home now.

It was quite the experience... :)

WerenCole
03-31-2006, 09:34 PM
Hey, my thread is back. . .

I have a couple new ideas. If you are short on money for food and gas, here are a couple things that can be done:

Sleep for a long time. . . if you are sleeping you are not eating.

Drink a lot of water. If you are full on water then you eat less. . . cleans out your system too, always good considering you spent the rest of your money on strippers and beer (bachelors, right?)

badducky
03-31-2006, 09:39 PM
A blender is your best friend.


Put enough peanut butter and sugar on something, and it will taste like peanut butter and sugar.

Failing that, add rum. It may be nasty, but at least you're too drunk to care.

WerenCole
03-31-2006, 09:42 PM
A blender is your best friend.


Put enough peanut butter and sugar on something, and it will taste like peanut butter and sugar.

Failing that, add rum. It may be nasty, but at least you're too drunk to care.

As a chef, I will take that peanut butter remark as "duly noted."

speculative
04-03-2006, 11:05 AM
1 word: crockpot. :D

WerenCole
10-11-2006, 10:47 PM
Another tip for the starving bachelor that I just thought of. . .


I am sitting in the library at the university and watching these kids walk by with obvious shaving problems.

The Tip= Don't Use Electric Shavers if you cannot grow a beard in the first place. Ruins your complexion and makes you look foolish.

I shave with my chef knife. . . and I look stupendous (except for that one time with the stitches and the scar. . . and then the time. . never mind. Maybe I will just post a picture.)

Also. . . frozen chicken pot pies are great, and so is pizza. But make sure there is a little variety in your life or you will spend most of your time eating out anyway. When the options are always frozen this and frozen that, life can become a little blase. . . right right?

WerenCole
10-11-2006, 11:12 PM
Without checking the thread history, I think it is safe to say we have been through most of those ideas. Thanks for sharing . Grilled cheese with ham is one of my favorites.

kikazaru
10-11-2006, 11:38 PM
Grilled cheese is a favourite of mine as well, sometimes I put a layer of salsa over the cheese and then pan fry both sides. This is very good.

TsukiRyoko
10-12-2006, 06:17 AM
Cheap, enormous tubs of ice cream
Coco Wheats
Dog food, even if you don't have a dog. At least youll always have something to eat

Becky Writes
10-12-2006, 06:52 AM
Eggs.

Eggs are cheap and easy. (Much like the hookers, right?)

Scramble them, make omlets, boil them, make egg salad...

TsukiRyoko
10-12-2006, 06:56 AM
eat them raw, get salmonella, which can be a key to getting good tasting hospital food :D

WerenCole
10-12-2006, 08:03 PM
Eggs.

Eggs are cheap and easy. (Much like the hookers, right?)

Scramble them, make omlets, boil them, make egg salad...


Do have a good recipe for scrambled hookers?

Soccer Mom
10-12-2006, 08:12 PM
Do have a good recipe for scrambled hookers?

1. Pick up 2 ho's
2. Pay them money in exchange for a service
3. Tell them you're an undercover cop
4. Season with one fake badge
5. Watch ho's scramble to get out of car

WerenCole
10-12-2006, 08:14 PM
I think their pimp might beat the crap out of me after that. . . anyway. . .

I was thinking that a recipe for scrambled hookers would be:

2 Hookers
Methaphetamine.


Scrambled for hours.

Bravo
10-12-2006, 08:51 PM
i like soccer mom's version better.

writerterri
10-12-2006, 08:56 PM
1. Pick up 2 ho's
2. Pay them money in exchange for a service
3. Tell them you're an undercover cop
4. Season with one fake badge
5. Watch ho's scramble to get out of car


lol

Kate Thornton
10-12-2006, 09:13 PM
From the single days:

Cream soups in the winter:

Cream of mushroom, celery & chicken. Buy them on sale. Serve over toast or rice or ramen (or julienne cut canned green beans). Or leftover baked potatoes. Season with that little packet in the ramen or with the salt & pepper packets from the pizza joint.

TsukiRyoko
10-12-2006, 11:41 PM
Actually, I do....

English Dave
10-13-2006, 12:07 AM
From the 99c store. Two tins of STAG chilli. 1 tin Ravioli. 1 box Saltines.


Sneak out.



Free!

aadams73
10-13-2006, 12:30 AM
Do have a good recipe for scrambled hookers?

No, but I know how to make a hormone.

(Kick her in the...ah..never mind)

Good bachelor food? Spaghetti and ketchup.

Kate Thornton
10-13-2006, 12:37 AM
Good bachelor food? Spaghetti and ketchup.

LOL! On "My Name is Earl" - the trailer-living, manicure-giving ex-wife Joy makes spaghetti for her kids by boiling up a big bowl of noodles & squirting the ketchup all over it:
"Boys, come 'n eat your spaghetti!"

Rolling Thunder
10-13-2006, 12:39 AM
Kluski is a good cheap meal too.

Panfry diced cabbage in butter and add boiled noodles. Salt and pepper to taste. If you're a slightly wealthier Bachelor, add some browned sausage to the mix.

A big pot made on Sunday lasts all week. It's one of those foods that tastes better as it ages, when all the flavors mix together.

Soccer Mom
10-13-2006, 03:06 AM
My tip for starving bachelors: Invest in a crockpot. You don't have to really cook. Throw in ingredients. Set it. Eat when you get home.

C.bronco
10-13-2006, 05:15 AM
Just throw anything on the grill. That's what we do. Or, save your carb allowance for beer. Why make life difficult?
I have to feed two others, and therefore cook. If I didn't, I wouldn't.

TeddyG
10-13-2006, 02:40 PM
Okay all you nutty folks who dont know how to eat...:D

When I got divorced...I had to learn how to cook...from da beginning

Sooooooooooooo.........
What came out of it was my non-fiction work which is being considered now with a lot already written so keep fingers crossed please (though with my luck nothing will work!)

"Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen"
Subtitled, "How To Survive Without A Spouse, Feed Your Kids & Stay Reasonably Sane"

So if you want to learn how to cook...hah ASK ME!

(No you dont need Tums...what a bunch of smart arses at AW!)

http://smileys.sur-la-toile.com/repository/Grands_Smileys/manger.gif

WerenCole
10-13-2006, 08:07 PM
Ask you?


Weren Cole- Personal Chef of the AW Water Cooler.


(just joking Teddy. . . anyway, we could call this the Ramen thread. Are you still considered a bachelor if you are divorced and have kids?)

sassandgroove
11-09-2007, 01:44 AM
This thread brought back memories of an idea I've had for some time--to create a useful guy-on-his-own cookbook, with insights into maleness that go beyond the production of easy but tasty dishes. It was hatched from my summer research trips, without family, in which I spend up to 7 weeks on my own, or sharing accomodations with a colleague, also away from his family. Obviously, the fare is quite different than that at home.

I've never done anything substantial with the idea, except for jotting down some thoughts and a short list of recipes (see the English Muffin Pizzas in an earlier post). I thought an edited volume would be the way to go--soliciting recipes (and comments) from other on-their-own males. Maybe an AW production is the way to go. Any takers for co-editors? Some exerpts from the "What you'll need" section are below, and if nothing else, make a useful addition to this thread.


A cookie sheet. It doesn’t have to be a good one. It can be dented, wrinkled, stained, as long as the stains are baked in. You’re not going to cook cookies on it, unless they’re the kind that come in the tubes, ready to slice and bake. And then, only if you don’t eat the raw dough first.


Garlic salt
Garlic powder
Garlic cloves
Garlic bubble gum
Garlic scented toilet paper (sorry, got carried away to make a point)


Peanut butter – on toast, it’s flavor changes to four out of five stars (five stars being equal to the taste of bacon). In a pinch, eat a big dollup right from a tablespoon.


Microwave

Toaster – Pop-Tarts actually taste better if you toast them. Don’t butter anything
BEFORE you put it in the toaster.


Aluminum foil - to cover/line every sheet or pan that goes in the oven. If it holds, you’ve just saved yourself a messy washing job. Don’t put it in the microwave unless you’re at your friend’s house and the party sucks (claim ignorance if the beer hasn’t kicked in).


Paper plates (the cheap ones, not the kind with compartments). Get ‘em by the hundred and double them up if the grease starts soaking through. There isn’t a more versatile kitchen necessity than the paper plate. It’s dinner china, microwave cookware, cutting board and ladle/spatula rest all rolled into one. And we’re not talking about the innovative uses that occasionally strike us, and not just in the kitchen.


Butter! F..k margarine. And, get it in the sticks. The wrapper has measure marks so you know exactly where to slice it to get twice what the recipe calls for.


Onions. If you cry when you chop one, you’re not fast enough.


Lettuce – You don’t need any of that fancy stuff. Just break up iceberg, thrown in cut-up onions, shake on sunflower seeds and bacon bits, and top with cheddar shreds and dressing (screw the Lite stuff—it isn’t spelled right). The rule of thumb: If you like the other kinds of greens, go for it. If you’re using them because you want to impress someone, buy a dress. And don’t let anyone sneak spinach in there. I hate the stuff. My wife put some in and informed me later, with a victorious wink, “See you ate spinach.” My response—see, that’s why the divorce rate is so high. I said it on the inside, of course.


Cooking Oil – it doesn’t have to be olive oil (extra virgin sounds like jail bait). And just get the small bottle. You only need a little. No matter how good a sport she is, she won’t let you bring the bottle of oil into the bathtub for a little slippery rasslin’. If you have one of those deep fryers, bless your heart, you’d better buy the five-gallon drum at Sam’s Club. And don’t forget the oil change disposal tub they sell at the Napa Auto Parts store. They don’t check to see what kind of oil is in them. Just don’t mix in bacon grease. That’s a smell a man can detect down to a few parts per billion, from a mile downwind… No, wait. That’s a male moth smelling the female’s pheromone. Make that a few parts per trillion from two miles downwind for bacon grease.


Bacon, and calm yourself on this one. If women learn the power of bacon, they’ll never again do that thing their mothers told them only bad girls do, to get you to do things you don’t want to do, or to get you to let her buy things you can’t afford. Pity the man who doesn’t have bacon and a solvent credit card.
How to dispose of bacon grease.

Let it harden and use it as a deodorant stick
Mix it with Elmer’s glue and use it as a dog chew
Use it as a reward for teaching the dog to fetch brassieres off of clothes lines
Smear it on your wife’s cat and turn your dog loose
Dip your lime wedge in it before inserting the wedge into the bottle of Mexican beer (and it goes it a lot easier)
A 350o Oven - Almost everything can be cooked at 350 degrees, unless the box tells you to use another temperature. I was thinking about this post the other night, when I pulled out a paper plate to use as a cutting board. I also think of it everytime I cook bacon for my husband. And when I use stick butter. I decided to find the post and bump the thread.

Jaycinth
11-09-2007, 02:17 AM
The easiest way to starve a bachelor, by far, is to give him a block of tofu....the medium kind...not the extra firm.

Unique
11-09-2007, 05:45 AM
Toaster – Pop-Tarts actually taste better if you toast them.

Oh, good heavens no! You can give yourself 3rd degree burns that way.

And the Store brand tastes waaay better the the Name brand.

- says the woman who will eat damn near anything.(except lizard beans)

Rolling Thunder
11-09-2007, 06:02 AM
And the store brand only costs ninety-nine cents a box, too.

bluejester12
11-09-2007, 08:22 AM
It's not food most bachelor's are hungry for :LilLove:

Unique
11-09-2007, 05:26 PM
Do have a good recipe for scrambled hookers?

yeah, jester but eating ***** is like eating Chinese food. It wears off quick and then you want more.

or is it beer? Tastes great, less filling ...
it's hell getting old. you forget everything.

Jaycinth
11-09-2007, 06:12 PM
it's hell getting old. you forget everything.

Well....not entirely ...EVERYTHING... tee hee