View Full Version : Why did I ever grow up?

01-09-2013, 12:07 AM
I'm tired of being a grown up.

My 92-year-old grandfather (my mom's step-father) is in congestive heart failure. We keep being told it's a matter of hours - not days. The "hours not days" has gone over into 100+ hours of bedside vigil.

The first call call came Thursday evening from his part-time home helper. I was the only family she could get ahold of. I live an hour away, but I dropped everything and drove down to be at his side and spent all night trying to get even one of his six kids there. My brother also arrived soon after me. We took turns staying by Gramps's side.

My mom was in Maui, on the last day of her vacation. I did talk to her, but she couldn't get to him any faster than she was already scheduled. Her brother lives in Wyoming and was out hunting. He headed down as soon as he got the message when he got back into cell range. Of my grandfather's four natural children, only the paraplegic daughter living in California bothered to rush out to make it to his side. Unfortunately, given her remote location, "rushing" meant 9pm Friday night was the earliest she could possibly arrive, and given the difficulties presented by her wheelchair, she required special arrangements. Those three each made it there as fast as they could.

Of his three natural sons - one of them called Friday morning saying he'd talked to his brothers. The other two haven't called the house or said anything to their sister, me, my brother or my mom - let alone shown up to be at their father's bedside. They all three live in the Denver area. None of them is more than two hours drive away from their father's side, and they haven't made the trip yet.

It shouldn't have been me and my brother there alone to watch him the night we thought he would pass. At least one person of his own blood should have been there. I'm so angry at my uncles I could spit.

I don't want to be a grown up anymore. I don't want to take responsibility when none of the people who should be there have stepped up. I just want someone else to be able to take care of things like this.

Being the grown up is not fun.

01-09-2013, 12:15 AM
hang in there, myrealana.

it's sounds like a very difficult situation but i believe that you can take comfort in the fact that you are doing what's right.

01-09-2013, 12:16 AM

01-09-2013, 12:17 AM
Hi Myrea,

First of all, :Hug2:.
I understand how it can be frustrating to be the one who has to take on a responsibility that should be done by others. But your Gramps is lucky to have you and your brother. You guys, along with those who did make an effort to be there, are all better than those who did not even bother.

So instead of hating on them, concentrate on the family that you do have with you.

Again, :Hug2:.

01-09-2013, 02:24 AM
(((((*hugs*))))) Family can be good or bad. You're obvious the good sort.

I hope your grandfather either pulls through and gives his sons some what-for, or that his passing is as easy (for him and for you all) as these things can be.

01-09-2013, 03:30 AM
He passed this afternoon. It was peaceful. My mom, brother and aunt were at his side.

Maze Runner
01-09-2013, 03:40 AM
He passed this afternoon. It was peaceful. My mom, brother and aunt were at his side.

I'm sorry for you loss. It sounds like he meant a lot to you.

L. Y.
01-09-2013, 05:18 AM
My deepest condolences to you and your family.

01-09-2013, 06:13 AM
I'm very sorry for your loss. I had a step Grandpa that I loved very much also.


01-09-2013, 01:12 PM
My deepest condolences. :(

01-09-2013, 07:32 PM
Very sorry for your loss, Myrea.


01-09-2013, 07:52 PM
My condolences... *hugs*

Silent Rob
01-09-2013, 10:31 PM
Sorry to hear that. I hope you have enough good memories of the time you've spent with him to help you over the bad ones of the last few days.

Siri Kirpal
01-10-2013, 10:57 PM
Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

Prayers sent. Condolences given.

Am you grew up so that your family wouldn't grieve your untimely loss.


Siri Kirpal