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Wicked
01-08-2013, 10:08 PM
*inspired by a friend's FB post*

When I was about twelve years old, I loved to build forts and convert old buildings into "club houses". Now there was this old concrete smoke house with it's heavy faded wooden door hanging on one hinge that I thought would be a perfect bunker. Unfortunately it was filled floor to ceiling with old tires.

Of course I was pretty sure my father would say no if I asked him if I could throw the tires out, but I wanted that club house bad. So it became a covert mission.

There were vines growing up through the tires, and snaking around the broken door frame. The whole thing was a tangled mess, and I wasn't paying enough attention to how much each piece supported the other pieces.

A few tires pulled out of the way, and that old wooden door started to give. On the back edge of that door was a long piece of rusty metal that had pulled away from the frame.

And my hand was between the door and the frame.

It happened so fast I didn't feel a thing . . . for a moment. I could see that the metal had gone right through my leather gloves. It had also gone through a lot more on my middle finger.

I managed to get the heavy door off of my hand. Immediately I clamped my hand over the injured finger, glove and all. I held it in a firm grasp, which helped slow the bleeding, but it was mostly because I didn't want to see it.

As you recall, I wasn't supposed to be doing what I was doing, so my silent mantra on my way to the house was, Don't look. Don't make a sound. Don't look.

I knew if I looked at it and saw blood pouring out of a gaping wound that exposed bone, I was going to freak. To my credit I didn't so much as whimper. I thought I was home free as I ran for the bathroom.

There was my mother, sitting in the living room reading a book. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, umm. I cut my finger and I need a bandaid."

Bandaid? I needed stitches. But there was no way I was admitting to more than I felt necessary.

She gave me that suspicious look, but didn't stop me.

Somehow I managed to evade discovery for a day or two before she made me show her the "little cut" I'd kept bandaged up. By that time it was really too late, so I never did get those stitches. I've still got a nice crescent shaped scar on my finger, though.

Ok, so who else is as accident prone as I am?

buz
01-08-2013, 10:34 PM
:D :D Hey, at least you got yours on a sexy covert operation, being a badass. :D

I've rarely hurt myself being a badass. Here are the ways in which I sustained some of my most serious (not very) injuries:

--Leaned down with some force to tie my shoe inside of a bathroom stall, split my face open on the locking mechanism

--Made a "ramp" out of snow on a hill and sledded magnificently into a block of ice

--Had an old mattress and ripped leg open on a spring that was sticking out of it

--Hit my head on the side of a boat in the midst of throwing up while the boat was kind of lurching around violently

--Run over by horses, hit in the face with a horse's head, and various other horse-related injuries that almost never had to do with falling off of them

--Fell off a surfboard, smashed my foot between my ass and a rock, and then got hit in the ribs with the surfboard which thank God was of the wussy foam variety

--Smashed my finger in a car door...I realize that's sort of prosaic, but the manner in which the blood exploded out of my finger and spattered on my face was really interesting

WriterWho
01-08-2013, 10:34 PM
Hmm . . . where do I begin . . . here are three that come to mind, even if I wasn't hurt. (All true stories)

Age 11: I was out on the pasture with my best friend. For some unknown reason the d*mn bull we had took offense to us being there. He started chasing us at full speed. I threw my coke at him, then hightailed it as fast as I could up a tree. To this day, I still have no clue where my best friend ran off to, but dang, she was fast.

Age 14: On vacation, my best friend - same one as before - and I were walking up the path from the pool to the resort. It was dark so you could see inside the place, and bam, there were the 'older' hotties we had been ogling all day right inside. BF cracked a joke when we started hurrying to get in there, and I looked back at her as I was laughing. I ran right into the glass door. Hot guys on the other side stared. As if that wasn't bad enough, I chipped a tooth.

Age 27: Out in the middle of nowhere Kansas, I managed to get my car stuck on a dirt road (not gravel). It had rained recently, so the road was a mess. Guy with me starts to get out of the car to push it, but the earbuds he had with him somehow got twisted around his feet, so he took a header straight into the mud. When we finally got the car moving, he was yelling for me to keep going, not to stop, even as he raced right alongside the car trying to hop back in. Of course, being the kind person that I am, I tried repeatedly to slow down so it was easier for him to get back inside. Instead, he just smashed into the open door not expecting the sudden jerks of acceleration. It didn't help that I was shouting, "Run, Forrest...run!" He wasn't the happiest camper as you can imagine, although, the looks he got while he hosed himself down at the local carwash in nowhere town made my day complete.

Corussa
01-08-2013, 11:02 PM
For me, many ways I've managed to hurt myself are horse-related (a little like buzhidao, though more were riding-related). The one I tend to remember first is from when I was 18 and is NOT memorable in a way, because I was fairly concussed so only know about it second-hand.

My horse and I had smashed through a showjump (still not quite sure why she never took off) and I hit the ground chin first. I do have a split-second memory of thinking something along the lines of 'oh shi--' as I fell.

People duly came to scrape me up, and one of the questions I was asked to establish my mental state was: 'Do you know where you are?'

My answer (said with slight impatience, I gather): 'Yes, on the ground.'

I've always been a bit literal. Still, my mum says that was what reassured her I was OK. :D

I've also got a couple of dents on my shin. One is from trying to do a handstand going over to land in a bridge/crab when I was about 11. Because I wasn't entirely bendy, I used to use a bed for my feet to land on. Only I misjudged it one time, launching into it from too far away, and my legs went scrrrraping down the edge of the bed.

The other dent is from pony club camp - I was about 13 years old. We were all haring about at night among the horse boxes and tents (like you do), and a couple of grown-ups were advancing with torches to give us an earful for not being in our beds and asleep. I took a flying leap up the groom's door steps of a horsebox and completely misjudged it in the dark. It makes me wince to remember it! Also meant I was one of the miscreants that got caught, but at least I got sympathy for my injury. :D

cray
01-08-2013, 11:07 PM
*cough (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showpost.php?p=6918644&postcount=1869)*

AbielleRose
01-08-2013, 11:12 PM
I once gave myself a concussion while doing the laundry... I bent over to pick up the basket and smacked my head on a metal bar. The bump was loud enough my roommates came running and took me to the hospital because I blacked out for a couple seconds.

That's one I'll never live down.

shakeysix
01-08-2013, 11:21 PM
While weeding my flower garden I managed to run a twig into my eye. Luckily it was the corner of my eye. Unluckily it was a sage stem--knobby and mildly toxic. It burned like the devil. I had a neighbor take me to the er with the thing poking out of my eye.

Naturally the er nurse was an ex-student. They always show up whenever I do something really stupid. She gasped "Mrs. Smith, how did you manage to do that?" And then there was the pirate patch. --s6

Dorky
01-08-2013, 11:41 PM
There was a toothpick that someone had managed to get into the carpet. It was sticking straight up.

I stepped on it. :( Needless to say, poking a hole into the bottom of your foot is not fun. It’s like stepping on a Lego, only with an actual flesh-piercing wound.

Yeah, I’m happy with having that as my most memorable owchy incident. :) I have a pretty terrible fear of injuries.

BigWords
01-08-2013, 11:50 PM
I fell up the stairs while drunk once. Not the strangest way I have hurt myself... That title probably goes to the time I tried to cut down a tree and cut my arm open with the axe. Or the time I dropped a pot of water (fresh off the cooker) on my foot.

I really had better stop there, or I'll get The Look again.

And have all the sharp things taken away from me.

Wicked
01-09-2013, 12:04 AM
Awesome. I'm not alone. :D

My mother used to tell me I needed to wear a helmet, because I always managed to land on my head. (explains a lot, doesn't it?)

On a sunny winter day, long, long ago, my friends and I were shoe skating in the frozen High School parking lot. One of my friends had a broken arm and wore one of those big plaster casts. Somehow we managed to collide. His cast hit me in the head, and then my head hit the icy pavement. Double whammy.

Priene
01-09-2013, 12:05 AM
Doing up the zip on my trousers. While running.

Haggis
01-09-2013, 12:16 AM
Doing up the zip on my trousers. While running.
:eek:

DragonHeart
01-09-2013, 12:17 AM
Nothing major, sprained my toe twice though. Once in my attempt not to step on my cat--one of his favorite games was to wait at the bottom of the stairs until you were near the top, then bomb up them as fast as he could to beat you to the top. He misjudged where I was going to step and went right under my foot. Ended up accidentally kicking my coffee table in my effort to dodge him.

And the second time...I accidentally kicked a chair. Really hard. No cats involved.

firedrake
01-09-2013, 12:20 AM
12 years old, walking along the road looking up at the sky, tripped in pothole and broke my arm. Was in a cast for most of the summer.

Got caught between my horse's face and the feed bowl. Sixteen years on I still have a numb spot on my cheekbone.

DragonHeart
01-09-2013, 12:25 AM
Oh, I almost forgot about this one. Was playing with a friend out in the woods, climbing some trees. I was scaling a particular tree, got to a branch about ten feet up and...the branch broke. Landed flat on my back on the branch. Knocked the wind right out of me, but amazingly aside from being a bit stunned I wasn't actually injured. I have a thing about ladders now, though. 35,000 feet in the air doesn't bother me, but put me on a ladder and I will definitely get nervous. Funny how that works.

Sarita
01-09-2013, 12:30 AM
I was 15. I sliced off the end of my middle finger. With a dog-food can.

Mclesh
01-09-2013, 12:40 AM
Five years old, jumping on the bed. I slipped and hit my head against the wooden headboard. Blood everywhere. Crying hysterically, more at the sight of blood than anything else. One trip to the ER, telling my story over and over again (I guess to convince the authorities that my poor parents didn't beat me) and four stitches later, I ended up with a giant bulgy dressing on my head. Everyone at school asked what happened; I felt like a real idiot.

To this day, I bear the scar of my ill-advised shenanigans. (And my mother used to warn me not to jump on the bed.) :D

Lavern08
01-09-2013, 12:47 AM
Last Saturday.

Pulled a mole off my side.

It bled like the dickens - kinda scary.

Won't try that again. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon11.gif

Haggis
01-09-2013, 12:55 AM
Last Saturday.

Pulled a mole off my side.

It bled like the dickens - kinda scary.

Won't try that again. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon11.gif
Darn things are nasty, aren't they?

http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o15/Damnhaggis/mole_zpsc77b3dc1.jpg

Kerosene
01-09-2013, 12:55 AM
- Tried drilling a hole in a small washer by holding it up with the power drill, the drillbit caught in metal, turned my hand around, chewed through a couple fingers before I released the trigger.

- I got my hand stuck between a starter core and a transmission body trying to tighten a bolt. Had to dislocate thumb to get it out.

- Shot my foot with a nail gun that had the safety pinned down and my reaction was to kick up, ripping the nail through my foot. (I was wearing sandals and shooting a mole that had a hole at my fence line)

- I burned through my shoe and slightly burned my foot while cutting a barrel with a oxy-acetylene torch.

- I dug up a fence post, moved it, turned around and tripped in the hole I just dug, smashing my face into the ground and broke my nose.

- I smacked my head on the car window and shattered while doing donuts in the yard and broke the fence post, read above for later. I had a nasty bump for a couple weeks.

- I touched a red-hot brake disk with my finger, burned a line down my right index finger. Still can't feel from the tip of it.

- I was doing a front-wheelie and the bike hit a rock, I flipped over the front and smacked my back on the pavement. Sadly, I broke a rib and nothing else.

- I was doing a front-wheelie on my dirtbike at slow speed, hit a rock... fell into a prickly bush and had holes in my back for a week. You'd thought I'd learn my lessen.

- I was doing a back-wheelie... went too far back and the road chewed me up.

- I was doing roof work and stepped through a patch I new was soft, ended up tumbling down into the living room and my dog ran up to me and gave me kisses. My father couldn't stop laughing because I fell between him and the TV.

- I was doing a dirt drift in a junker hotrod I built, ended up oversteering and threw it into a the bushes and the engine hit a rock. My head created a dent in the roof, but the kid in the passenger seat luckily wore his seatbelt, I didn't.



I can keep going on.


The worse one injury that I got into, was... I tried to stop two girls from fighting. Ended up with 10 stitches, a broken rib, three crushed toes, a black eye, my chin got chipped (can still feel the bone moving around in there), my nose was whacked pretty good, oh, and my family jewels were black for a week (she didn't aim, just got lucky). I did stop them though, and I learned never to get between two girls fighting.

Sarita
01-09-2013, 12:56 AM
Five years old, jumping on the bed. I slipped and hit my head against the wooden headboard. Blood everywhere. Crying hysterically, more at the sight of blood than anything else. One trip to the ER, telling my story over and over again (I guess to convince the authorities that my poor parents didn't beat me) and four stitches later, I ended up with a giant bulgy dressing on my head. Everyone at school asked what happened; I felt like a real idiot.

To this day, I bear the scar of my ill-advised shenanigans. (And my mother used to warn me not to jump on the bed.) :D
Um, I did this when I was 4. Except I had a 4 poster bed and snagged my EYE on one of the posts. I still have the 7-stitches scar through my eyebrow.

A year later, I locked myself in the bathroom to throw a tantrum about going to the DR's office. When I reached forward to grab some TP to blow my nose, I slipped off the toilet and fell forward, cutting my forehead on the ceramic TP holder. After 7 more stitches and a trip to the hospital, my mom had to cut bangs so that the bandage wouldn't show in my kindergarten picture.

Yes, I'm a klutz. Don't even ask about the time I tripped and got run over by a car. Or how I broke both knee caps. Or hands. Or ankles.

mirandashell
01-09-2013, 01:15 AM
-

I can keep going on.



Good lord, Will! Take a hint!

Kerosene
01-09-2013, 01:29 AM
Good lord, Will! Take a hint!

Hey, I just writing them as they came to me, not my fault I keep hurting myself... ok, maybe it is...

Mr Flibble
01-09-2013, 01:53 AM
Running through kitchen, failed to notice cupboard door husband had left leaning against cupboard (in the middle of redoing doors), broke foot. Son's comment 'And you tell ME not to run indoors!'

Our floors downstairs are all laminate. One *cough* dissolute evening, we decided to see who could start at the back of the house and get furthest by sliding in socks. Slight miscalculation ended up with my knee catching dining room wall.

Bungee pulling - at a bike rally and in the silly games. The thing is, two guys pull on the linked inner tubes to see how far it can be stretched. I'm in the end loop, and we try to see who can get furthest (placing a beer bottle to mark how far we got). One guy slips, pulling the bungee out of other guy's grip, I fly backwards (I have the video somewhere - it's quite impressive!) and manage a concussion. None of had even had anything to drink, but I was staggering about like a ten pint drunk till they managed to persuade me into the ambulance. (The same weekend at a different rally, someone died doing the same - they were on concrete, we were on grass. They stopped that game after that IIRC)

I'm sure I can remember more...

KellyAssauer
01-09-2013, 02:07 AM
Anyone mention getting married yet?

(just checking)

:D

jjdebenedictis
01-09-2013, 02:15 AM
Once upon a time, I was a runner.

I was also mildly insomniac. One Saturday morning--I remember it was the day after Hallowe'en--I woke up early and couldn't get back to the sleep. I knew El Husbando was going to be zonked for hours yet, so I decided I'd go for a run by the seawall.

Oh, it was glorious day. The sun was out and it was windy--and I just love wind. The sky was brilliant blue, the sea was pale green and crashing with whitecaps, and the evergreen trees were roaring.

I got past the beach and onto the seawall proper, where the waves smash against the granite wall right beside you.

And, as it happens, occasionally splash up quite high.

This MONSTER wave suddenly leaps out of nowhere and lands on me.

Did I mention it was November? Holy shit, that seawater was freezing.

Did I mention it was really, really windy too? Now I was soaking wet. In the wind.

When the wave pounced, there had been a fellow walking toward me along the seawall. As I came prancing out of the splash zone squeaking, "Cold! Cold! Zow-ee!", this poor fellow must have nearly burst something in his heroic attempt to not laugh.

He managed it. I am eternally grateful.

I kept running. Some misguided sense of optimism made me think the wind would dry me off soon enough and then I'd warm up again. Eventually, I was right, although it seemed to take an awfully long time.

But once I did warm up, I started enjoying the fantastic day again. I kept warily back from the edge of the seawall, of course, but there were huge orange maple leaves scurrying all over the pavement, and I happily started swishing my feet through them.

Only to discover the pothole that one large clump of them was hiding.

WHAM.

A very kind couple helped me spatula myself up off the pavement, and I decided I'd had enough running for the day. I limped off home, feeling quite embarrassed about the myriad places I was bleeding from.

At home, it turned out we didn't have any bandaids. I decided getting out of bed had definitely been a bad idea, so I crawled back in, then tried to wriggle myself into a position where none of my oozing bits touched the sheets. This disturbed my husband enough that he looked over.

Hearing your loved one shriek "What have you DONE?!" is always a great way to start the day, don't you think?

Zig Bigfoot
01-09-2013, 02:21 AM
When I was 17, I built a boat in my garage. I was using a drill with a small bit to make nail pilot holes, set the drill on the floor, and then walked backward into it. Oh, forgot to mention I was working barefoot. I didn't even realize that the tip of the bit had gone into my heel and broken off until my parents got home and wondered why I was limping. At the ER, after they'd X-rayed my foot and I was in a room waiting for the surgeon, the interns kept peeking around the corner to look in and whisper to each other, "Yeah, that's the guy".

Kittens Starburst
01-09-2013, 02:31 AM
I managed to impale myself climbing a spiked railing after mistakenly believing I was like a sparrow in weight and dimension. Broke my foot, ripped tendons. Had to bumshuffle up and down my stairs for weeks and attend hospital every day as they were concerned about blood poisoning but had no beds. A couple of years later they opened my foot again because I couldn't go dancing for pain - and they took out rust along with bone. I'll never be so stupid in future. Probably never.

IAMWRITER
01-09-2013, 02:38 AM
Where to begin?

Walked into a door.
Fell down a hill
Slipped down the stairs
Got my hand stuck in my letterbox
Tripped over a moving skipping rope and fell face first

...These are just a few but I've never broken a bone in my body yet.

HFgal
01-09-2013, 02:44 AM
Easy.
It's what we call my "Seventies Accident" in my family - I fell down the stairs of my high school when my clogs got tangled up in my bell bottoms. Got a free ride in the ambulance to the hospital, a torn ligament, and a couple of week on crutches - plus, the bragging rights.

Kittens Starburst
01-09-2013, 02:52 AM
I once walked into a lampost checking someone out. It doesn't just happen on TV.

Even more painful was the one and only time I managed to do something closely resembling the splits by walking down a slight incline after some fool washed their restaurant window. That was incredibly humiliating, especially since I couldn't get up and my two friends were too consumed by laughter to help me. It happened at the far end of the high street with plenty of witnesses to see my flailing.

Ken
01-09-2013, 02:57 AM
... ripping out a public pay phone.
Happy ending though.
Bruise was patched up by a pal's sis ;-)

Mr Flibble
01-09-2013, 02:57 AM
I once walked into a lampost checking someone out. It doesn't just happen on TV.



A guy I used to know pranged his motorbike into a lamppost and ended up in intensive care (with lasting, if not hugely severe, brain damage)

When asked what happened, all he could say was 'There was this amazing chick in hot pants....' His GF was not especially impressed.

Evelyn
01-09-2013, 03:01 AM
Okay, the most stupid prize goes to this:

I was pulling up the blankets on my bed because they'd slipped toward my feet and my shoulders were getting cold. My three cats were all piled up sound asleep near my knees, on top of the covers, making them very heavy and hard to move. But I was freezing. I grabbed a handful of blankets and sheets, and tugged as hard as I could. My hand slipped, and...

...I punched myself in the chin.

More stupid than that? It has happened more than once. Go figure.

mirandashell
01-09-2013, 03:04 AM
Now, I was going to tell you off for awarding first prize to yourself.

But then again....... you could be right.

KellyAssauer
01-09-2013, 03:40 AM
A guy I used to know pranged his motorbike into a lamppost and ended up in intensive care (with lasting, if not hugely severe, brain damage)

When asked what happened, all he could say was 'There was this amazing chick in hot pants....' His GF was not especially impressed.

You ever notice how they never test a person for brain damage before the accident happens?

:Shrug:

Chase
01-09-2013, 06:19 AM
These are some great confessions, ha ha ha.

The place: Great Falls International Airport.

The pilot: Susan Oliver (Ann Howard on Peyton Place and Vina on the first episode of Star Trek).

The skydiver: Chase, home on U.S. Army leave in the middle of the ’60s.

The ground crew: A reporter for KRTV who moved to "X" target off the soft grass and onto the concrete tarmac for a better camera angle.

I could've steered to the grassy knoll, but no. I had to show off for the cute blonde actress flying the plane, the cheering crowd below, and my mom watching it all on TV. I hit the hard target and broke my elbow trying to roll out of the parachute landing fall. My unit commander wasn't pleased when I reported back in a cast.

Liralen
01-09-2013, 08:57 AM
I rarely (and I realize how lucky I am) get hurt.

There were a couple of times though . . .

The time I went over what was essentially a cliff over a river. Not a big one, but big enough, probably a good 50 feet or so. I was told that a couple of times I bounced about six feet out from it, tumbling like Alice down the rabbit hole. Not too many feet before I hit the rocks at the bottom somehow I saw a root sticking out that looked just like a car door handle. I grabbed it and kept from landing on the rocks.

Took me a while to get up. I didn't really want to find out I couldn't move. I could, but it hurt all over, and I still had to climb back up to the top. My mom was up there with the car and I figured she'd be worried.

Nope. All she said was, "what took you so long."

When I told her she told me to hurry up and quit faking.

Turns out I had a bunch of bruised and strained ribs and pretty much every muscle in my torso was in the same shape. It hurt to breathe for a week. For a couple of weeks after it hurt to breathe in. My chiropractor was amazed. He said probably the only thing that saved me from being severely injured was all the bodybuilding I'd done -- and that I must have rolled with it.

You know what they say about facing your fears? Well . . . I'm more wary of heights/falling after that than I was before!

The other one was minor, but only I could manage it . . . I woke up the other morning with some strained muscles. In my waist. I'd pulled them somehow . . . in my sleep.

Gretad08
01-09-2013, 09:10 AM
- Tried drilling a hole in a small washer by holding it up with the power drill, the drillbit caught in metal, turned my hand around, chewed through a couple fingers before I released the trigger.

- I got my hand stuck between a starter core and a transmission body trying to tighten a bolt. Had to dislocate thumb to get it out.

- Shot my foot with a nail gun that had the safety pinned down and my reaction was to kick up, ripping the nail through my foot. (I was wearing sandals and shooting a mole that had a hole at my fence line)

- I burned through my shoe and slightly burned my foot while cutting a barrel with a oxy-acetylene torch.

- I dug up a fence post, moved it, turned around and tripped in the hole I just dug, smashing my face into the ground and broke my nose.

- I smacked my head on the car window and shattered while doing donuts in the yard and broke the fence post, read above for later. I had a nasty bump for a couple weeks.

- I touched a red-hot brake disk with my finger, burned a line down my right index finger. Still can't feel from the tip of it.

- I was doing a front-wheelie and the bike hit a rock, I flipped over the front and smacked my back on the pavement. Sadly, I broke a rib and nothing else.

- I was doing a front-wheelie on my dirtbike at slow speed, hit a rock... fell into a prickly bush and had holes in my back for a week. You'd thought I'd learn my lessen.

- I was doing a back-wheelie... went too far back and the road chewed me up.

- I was doing roof work and stepped through a patch I new was soft, ended up tumbling down into the living room and my dog ran up to me and gave me kisses. My father couldn't stop laughing because I fell between him and the TV.

- I was doing a dirt drift in a junker hotrod I built, ended up oversteering and threw it into a the bushes and the engine hit a rock. My head created a dent in the roof, but the kid in the passenger seat luckily wore his seatbelt, I didn't.



I can keep going on.


The worse one injury that I got into, was... I tried to stop two girls from fighting. Ended up with 10 stitches, a broken rib, three crushed toes, a black eye, my chin got chipped (can still feel the bone moving around in there), my nose was whacked pretty good, oh, and my family jewels were black for a week (she didn't aim, just got lucky). I did stop them though, and I learned never to get between two girls fighting.

Wow, you sound like my husband! He was just telling me stories of his injuries, and then I got to your post, and started laughing. He asked why, and I read your post. His response: "Yep, I've done that...Ouch, I've never done that, but I've seen it happen...Ewww, yeah, did that once when i was building a deck."

He said "I can't believe that guy's still alive!"

Chris P
01-09-2013, 09:14 AM
As a kid (probably about eleven or so) I was on my knees in the concrete driveway using a rubber mallet to try to get something pounded into something else. It wasn't working, so I lost my temper (because that always works) and slammed the rubber mallet on the concrete, which then bounced back and konked me on the forehead.

Billtrumpet25
01-09-2013, 10:34 AM
Is it bad that I'm laughing sooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard right now? :roll:

How ironic. I just fell off my chair. :e2hammer:


ETA: I have plenty of injuries to tell you all about (including one that happened to my brother ;)), but I'm too tired to write them all down now. Maybe in the morning. :e2yawn:

L. Y.
01-09-2013, 10:43 AM
I was fifteen. I was trying my best to impress some female classmates with my surfing skills. Caught a wave, and the wave decided different.

I went "over the falls" and face first into to reef. Luckily, the only thing I suffered was a broken nose, a sprained back, and a few minor scratches.

I think the worst thing hurt was my pride. A truly humbling experience. :D

druid12000
01-09-2013, 11:54 AM
Two come to mind...

The scene: My older sister just lost a tooth. I was four. She was seven. She started chasing me around my uncle's house yelling that she was Dracula (good lord, it didn't even make sense, she lost a tooth...I was four, damn it!). I ran by my uncle who was sitting in a rocking chair, tripped over his foot and my right cheek hit the edge of the chair. No stitches, but a lot of blood, and a swoosh scar to show for it :)

Number two is just about the most idiotic thing I've ever done. I was riding home on my ten speed bike with my friend. The front rim was, and had been, bent for a while and would skip against the front fork in which the wheel resides. I'm riding along and the wheel starts skipping against the inside of the fork.
Keep in mind, I had done this particular 'fix' hundreds of times without incident.
Anyway, I kick the front tire to try to align it and my foot got jammed between the tire and fork. Yeah, sudden stop, straight over the handle bars and still attached to the bike because my foot was still wedged.
Luckily, I just had a huge bump on the head and a sprained wrist.

Corussa
01-09-2013, 03:24 PM
There was a toothpick that someone had managed to get into the carpet. It was sticking straight up.

I stepped on it. :( Needless to say, poking a hole into the bottom of your foot is not fun. Itís like stepping on a Lego, only with an actual flesh-piercing wound.

Reminds me of when I was about 11, outside helping my dad chop a delivery of wood. I was wearing a pair of gumboots and stepped on a small wooden rail. I couldn't quite understand why it came up with my boot when I lifted my foot. I shortly realised that this was because there had been a nail sticking upwards through the wood, that went all the way through the boot to my foot. Cue a certain amount of yowling!

The odd thing about that, to me, was that at the hospital they didn't give me a tetanus shot because 'you only need a booster every ten years, and records show you had one nine years and ten months ago' (or something like that). To be fair, I never got tetanus. :)


One trip to the ER, telling my story over and over again (I guess to convince the authorities that my poor parents didn't beat me) and four stitches later, I ended up with a giant bulgy dressing on my head.

That reminds me of an accident my mum had years ago - she fell over the cat at the top of the stairs (she maintains the cat planned it), and ended up with enormous bruises from the fall.

Not long after, she ended up in hospital with an unrelated issue. The nurses kept asking her how she got the bruises. She heard them whispering outside her door later: 'I think we need to have a word with her husband about those bruises...' She resisted the urge to frame him for wife-beating. :D


- Shot my foot with a nail gun that had the safety pinned down and my reaction was to kick up, ripping the nail through my foot. (I was wearing sandals and shooting a mole that had a hole at my fence line)

Are you just waiting to get old so you can sit on your porch with a shotgun, shouting nonsense and shooting at things? ;)

Kittens Starburst
01-09-2013, 04:05 PM
Most foolish thing I ever did, though I was only about five at the time, was to put a staple through the webbed bit between my thumb and index finger because my sister told me to. Apparently she didn't think I would. Her monster hamster bit me in the same place not long after. I used to fall at the top of the stairs whenever she was standing there - simply because she told me I would. I was a bit suggestible.

Aurelee
01-09-2013, 04:31 PM
-Friend jumped in front of me while I was on his bike, instead of turning right I turned left and flew past a ditch and into a tree.

-Was pushed into the pool by a friend, broke my finger and didn't notice until the bone turned into a semi spiral. My fingers don't touch anymore :(

-Ran after a ball while playing outside, instead of stopping like someone with a bit of sanity, I jumped towards it and landed on my knees. There was a sharp ninja rock waiting for me in the grass. Still have a half moon scar on my right knee. (It's a manly scar so I suppose it's okay.)

JimmyB27
01-09-2013, 04:47 PM
Aged about seven or so, we went to one of those olde worlde preservation steam railway places. Where the platform slopes away, there were these huge wooden beams protruding out of the ground every few feet.
I was running up and down, jumping over them, and I'm sure you can guess the rest. Yep, tripped over one, went flying and brained myself on the next. Lots of blood and lots of crying.
Worst of it was that we'd got to this station on the aforementioned steam train, so my parents had not car. Luckily, the station manager was a very nice chap and took us to the hospital in his car. Still have a tiny bald patch at the front of my head where the scar is.

Similair story of a child being an idiot from the time I was running round and round the sofa, despite my mother's warnings, and slipped, catching my chin on the corner of the wall unit. Don't remember that one leading to a hospital visit, but I still have the scar from that too.

Propped my bike up against a very old fence trying to reach something in the tree that was up against it on the other side - I forget what I was even going for. Bike slipped out from under me and, in trying to catch my balance, I scraped the palm of my hand all the way down the fence. Never seen so many splinters in one small bit of skin before or since.

Sprained my wrist going over the handlebars of my bike, but who hasn't? The only reason that's memorable really is that it was my left wrist that hurt like buggery at first, but the right wrist was the sprained one.

In primary school, we used to play British Bulldog on a patch of grass by the playground. One border was the fence of the nursing home next door, the other a gravelly path. I got tripped just as I was reaching the path boundary and removed the skin from my knees as I hit said path.

Next one was as a student, so of course it involved alcohol. 'Double Vision', Wednesday nights a the student union, when you could get double shots of the skankiest spirits imaginable for a pound, or something equally ridiculous.
I'd never really been a spirit drinker before that, so I...overdid it. A bit. Alright, a lot.
This one shouldn't really be here, because I don't remember the actual event, just the aftermath. Apparently, we were all sitting around a table, and I just collapsed forward, nose first. Spent the night in A&E, all of the next day in bed or over the toilet, and then the next day suffered what felt like a normal hangover.
A friend of mine asked me a few days later if I'd been there that night. She didn't know what had happened, but apparently there was a lot of blood all around the gents. I still can't breathe properly through my nose.
This is probably the stupidest thing I've ever done - and certainly the one I'm most ashamed of. Especially when I hear people (rightly) cussing those drunken idiots who clog up A&E.

Student Union again, I was on my way to the loo, threading my way through the crowds on the dance floor when, some guys apparently stopped me. Again, I'm a bit fuzzy - wasn't anywhere near as ludicrously drunk this time, just a normal student night out.
Don't know how it happened exactly, but apparently they took objection to me and very soon I was on the floor being repeatedly kicked in the head by four guys. Mostly bruises, but I also lost a quarter of one of my front teeth. The student hospital did a very good job with the crown though - still going strong today.

Finally, managed to mash my nose in again tripping over a step in town when very very drunk after a work do. There are a few AW people (some in this thread already) who saw the aftermath of that one.

JMC2009
01-09-2013, 04:56 PM
I had spent most of the summer sewing a renaissance costume, and I was starting to get tired of working on it. But, as I was almost finished and the Renaissance Faire was just a couple weeks a way, I kept at it.

I had reached the point where it was time to put the grommets in the bodice. Not something I'd ever done before, as the only things I'd ever seen before this were pillows. But, I did my research, bought the supplies and started hammering away.

Of course, the hammering drew the attention of my flatmate who came out of her room to see what I was doing. She sat down to watch right as I was working on this particularly stubborn grommet. I was talking to her as I swung at the darn thing, each swing harder and harder.

Until... Yeow! I missed the grommet and got my finger. Of course my roommate was cracking up and I was running my finger under cold water trying to get it to stop throbbing. Actually ended up losing my fingernail.

IAMWRITER
01-09-2013, 08:46 PM
I also jumped off one of those gymnastic horse thingy and kneed myself in my mouth and almost knocked my two front teeth out - instead I just busted myself open.

My friend however once decided to use a swivel chair to stand on to reach something high up on a shelf...yeah you can guess what happened.

Alpha Echo
01-09-2013, 08:51 PM
Mmmm...about 10 maybe? At a pool and jumping off the edge in various styles. Jumped off backwards. Hit my chin on the side and got 3 stitches. It's a miracle I didn't lose teeth.

LadyV
01-09-2013, 08:54 PM
First off, this thread is great!

I'm notorious for running into corners or banging my knee and shin off of things. I've honestly lost count how many times.

But, two incidents come to mind.

First, not so funny time: I was nine, swinging on a swing at the park. I decided I wanted to swing the opposite way. For some reason I let go (still don't know why), fell, ricocheted off this metal pipe barrier thing they had in front of the swing and landed on my stomach. I ended up going to the hospital by ambulance because they were worried about a back injury. Needless to say I was fine.

Now, the slightly funnier time: College. I was hanging in a friend's dorm. He lifted me up on his shoulders and spun me around in wrestling move. Well, he got a little too close to the wall and my head smacked off of it. I was knocked silly for a few minutes. At least he felt bad about it.

BigWords
01-09-2013, 09:00 PM
With every head injury, you lose brain cells.

Just sayin'. :D

WriterWho
01-09-2013, 09:38 PM
Here are a few more . . . where I was actually hurt.

Age 6: I was hungry, but the sun wasn't up yet. I knew better than to wake anyone, so being the tiny monkey child I was, I climbed onto the counter and opened the cabinet. I had to have the biggest bowl - a glass mixing bowl - for my cereal, which was on the top shelf under all the other smaller ones. Well, when I carefully began extracting it, the rest came tumbling out with it. I was quick enough to jump off the counter, but my pinky got smashed (the only bone I've ever fractured) from falling bowls. I vividly remember the looks my family wore when every single one of them rushed into the kitchen. There I was, red pigtails sleep skewed, standing in a pile of broken debris, and I actually said, "I didn't do it."

Age 10: In Branson, we were on an extremely slow moving horse trail. I have no idea how to ride a horse, but I was somehow managing to stay seated. Until my horse started acting up. The thing literally started bucking. I hold on for dear life, even as it kicks my uncle in the knee behind me, it rearing all over the place, then the bugger started backing up into a tall bush with thorns. Apparently, it had an itch. Too bad I didn't. (Even now, I won't get on another horse - there was one more incident after that one)

Age 18: I was skiing. Somewhat, anyway. I was the terror you see flying down the mountain who has no flipping clue what the hell they're doing, a definite hazard to everyone. I didn't know how to stop, so I veered to the right instead of bashing into a group shouting at me. The path took me down another hill, but at the end of it . . . only trees. Luck on my side, I dodged the first one, but in the wooded area the snow wasn't as heavy. I hit a patch of dirt/mud. I learned skis did not go on dirt/mud, but I still did. Or, my body did. Like a cartoon, the skis stopped, and I face planted at full speed into the mud.

mirandashell
01-09-2013, 09:47 PM
Doing up the zip on my trousers. While running.

Ok, I can't last out any longer..... the curiosity is killing me.

Why, exactly, were you pulling up your fly whilst running?

Cella
01-09-2013, 10:08 PM
Just last night I was attacked by my very own bathroom door.

Wicked
01-09-2013, 10:28 PM
Just last night I was attacked by my very own bathroom door.

:D

The loose door on my writing desk attacks my kneecaps all the time. Doors are vicious.

Corussa
01-09-2013, 11:21 PM
Just last night I was attacked by my very own bathroom door.

I was attacked by a gryphon yesterday, and have a burgeoning bruise on my leg to prove it.

Sadly the gryphon is a concrete one. Particularly sad since that only bears testament to my clumsiness. :D

JimmyB27
01-10-2013, 12:23 AM
Ok, I can't last out any longer..... the curiosity is killing me.

Why, exactly, were you pulling up your fly whilst running?
My guess is the fuzz were on their way.

BigWords
01-10-2013, 12:32 AM
And instead of the fuzz catching him, he caught the fuzz...

:popcorn:


Sorry.

jjdebenedictis
01-10-2013, 05:58 AM
And instead of the fuzz catching him, he caught the fuzz...Catching only the fuzz would have been a mercy. If he caught anything more than that, I fear his face would have been flashing red and blue and his siren would be wailing.

Liralen
01-10-2013, 08:44 AM
Bit of a twist.

My little APBT (American Pit Bull Terrier), Tallulah (yes, after Miss Bankhead) was dancing and wailing while I was trying to get her walking collar and leash on her. I bent over just as she launched herself upward.

Our foreheads connected.

Poor Tallulah.

She was a bit dazed and staggered.

Yes, my head is harder than a Pit Bull Terrier's.

Poor baby. She's been careful not to connect with my head again.

mirandashell
01-10-2013, 04:46 PM
Catching only the fuzz would have been a mercy. If he caught anything more than that, I fear his face would have been flashing red and blue and his siren would be wailing.

:ROFL:

That still doesn't answer the question, though.

It could be a jump off point for a good story

Priene
01-10-2013, 05:45 PM
Ok, I can't last out any longer..... the curiosity is killing me.

Why, exactly, were you pulling up your fly whilst running?

My dog had just fallen in our icy fish pond and needed rescuing.

Mr Flibble
01-10-2013, 05:50 PM
So you were in the garden

With your dog

With your flies undone.

*raises eyebrow*

I think we might benefit from further explanation. :D

BigWords
01-10-2013, 06:00 PM
:Wha:

Priene
01-10-2013, 06:09 PM
So you were in the garden

With your dog

With your flies undone.

*raises eyebrow*

I think we might benefit from further explanation. :D

Ah, you always find the seedy explanation.

I was in bed and not wearing much of anything. It was 1980 and snowing. I hear my Mum shouting 'help, the dog's fallen in the pond.' I faced the awful choice between delaying my heroic canine rescue to get dressed or freezing my nadgers off. I opted for the old run-and-zip. In retrospect, that decision was questionable.

Mr Flibble
01-10-2013, 06:16 PM
Ah, you always find the seedy explanation.


My pen name is Francis "Smutty-thoughts" Knight :D

I was in bed and not wearing much of anything. It was 1980 and snowing. I hear my Mum shouting 'help, the dog's fallen in the pond.' I faced the awful choice between delaying my heroic canine rescue to get dressed or freezing my nadgers off. I opted for the old run-and-zip. In retrospect, that decision was questionable.

That sounds better. Was the dog all right?

Priene
01-10-2013, 06:19 PM
My pen name is Francis "Smutty-thoughts" Knight :D


That sounds better. Was the dog all right?

The dog was slightly soggy and lived on for many years of canine frolicking. I was in agony and haven't felt quite the same on an icy morning since that day.

mirandashell
01-10-2013, 06:20 PM
Ah, you always find the seedy explanation.

I was in bed and not wearing much of anything. It was 1980 and snowing. I hear my Mum shouting 'help, the dog's fallen in the pond.' I faced the awful choice between delaying my heroic canine rescue to get dressed or freezing my nadgers off. I opted for the old run-and-zip. In retrospect, that decision was questionable.

Ah! You hero, you!

So... were you caught by the fuzz? Or did your siren go off?

Bet that delayed the dog rescue.....

dolores haze
01-10-2013, 06:25 PM
Sliding down banisters while drunk is not recommended. Cracked my tailbone. No health insurance, so didn't go to ER. Sitting was agony for months.

seun
01-10-2013, 06:35 PM
When I was about nineteen, I was a bit of an idiot. A bit of a drunken idiot (there's another story in there somewhere). Anyway, one Saturday night I was round a friend's house with a few other people. I'd gone upstairs to get something from her bedroom and came back down the stairs at too fast a speed. The stairs curved in the middle. I took that curve, slipped and hit my that bone just above your bum but below your spine on a stair. As if that didn't hurt enough, my top half bounced and the top of my head hit the edge of the bannister.

I ended up at the foot of the stairs, winded. As only one person saw me, I told him it was no big deal and, not wanting to look like an idiot, I joined everyone else in the living room. A few minutes later, the pain in my back hit me at about the same time blood began running down my head.

Come 5am, I'm in A&E with my friend, squeezing her hand harder than I'd squeezed anything before while I get stitches in the top of my head. I had to take a week off work because I couldn't stand or sit without pain.

Stopped me drinking so much, though.

stormie
01-10-2013, 06:38 PM
I was bringing groceries into the house and decided to open the kitchen window. It was an old window with a heavy storm window that slid up and locked in place. It didn't lock and for some reason that I can't figure out, my index finger was in the way and the storm window came slamming down on it.

Sliced the finger tip, broke the bone. It was stitched and splinted for a week. At least it wasn't my middle finger.

shakeysix
01-10-2013, 06:42 PM
Ohhh--didn't know drunk was a category. In college I once hopped on a table at a bar to show everyone that I am not the shy, reclusive scholar that seems to be everyone's first impression of me. I managed to crack an ankle and and my head, not to mention soaking all of the new friends I was trying to impress--including my future husband-- with buckets of beer. Incidentally, I did not become instantly popular but did earn the nickname Shakey Shannon for the next 40 years! --s6

Mr Flibble
01-10-2013, 07:13 PM
Okay this didn't happen to me, but I do know the people involved (and saw the resulting wounds).

So, my mate's Dad was decorating the hallway. He'd taken off the bannister to sand repaint it and left it off overnight. Next morning, the postie rings the bell and him, being not entirely with it at 7am, wanders down the stairs, reaches for the bannister which isn't there....straight down the stairs and through the glass front door, to land in a broken heap in front of a surprised postie.

Then his wife rings for the ambulance. She asks what she can do for him (he's in very obvious pain - in fact he'd broken both his legs, not to mention the numerous shards of glass poking out of him) and apparently, so she says, the person on the other end makes a comment that it's better if they knock themselves out because then they don't feel the pain... at which, not being the brightest spark (understatement of century - she takes EVERYTHING absolutely literally), she brains her husband with a frying pan to knock him out, adding concussion to the mix.

seun
01-10-2013, 07:48 PM
the person on the other end makes a comment that it's better if they knock themselves out because then they don't feel the pain... at which, not being the brightest spark (understatement of century - she takes EVERYTHING absolutely literally), she brains her husband with a frying pan to knock him out, adding concussion to the mix.

This is my favourite thing ever.

Wicked
01-10-2013, 08:09 PM
I've got one with a romantic twist.

My youngest son had his first homecoming dance. He was especially excited he would be going with his first girlfriend, on their very first date. Ever.
He and his friends all planned to meet at the park by the school about an hour before the dance.

We were in town volunteering at a fundraiser, so my eldest took his brother to the meet up. What became of my eldest after that point I still haven't discovered. The story seems to get intentionally fuzzy at that point.

Anyway, twenty minutes to homecoming, and the boys are fooling around on the basketball court. And unlike the rest of the civilized world, the court still has chain-link nets for their hoops.

Since there was no basketball, they found other things to throw. One of which was a jump rope that caught on the hoop. My son jumped up to get it, and for whatever reason, grabbed the net with his other hand. The chain bit into all three of his middle fingers, and took a gaping chunk out of his index finger.

One of the boys later related that the blood was hitting the ground before my son did.

After the initial panic, they went to the nearest boy's house. Fortunately his father knew first aid.

Then we got the phone call, "your son got hurt and needs to go to the ER". We were more than thirty miles away.
The other boy's father bandaged my son up and got him in the car as they started heading our way, and we started heading theirs.

My son was pale, and blood covered his new shirt, but he joked around with the staff in the ER while they prepped him. The male nurse took his first look at it and said, "Oh, that's a good one. Nice work. You're going to have a killer scar."

My son grinned. "Ladies dig the scars."

Things were moving pretty well for an ER visit. Everyone knew he was trying to get back to his homecoming dance, and they were trying hard to get him there.

And then the motorcycle crash victims came in.

He was watching the minutes, then hours, tick by. All he could say was, "I've got to get back to the dance. She's waiting for me."

His girlfriend was from town. She didn't go to his school, and she didn't know any of his friends, but she stayed there to wait for him all by herself.

Ten thirty passed by, and I knew we were in trouble. It would take at least a half hour to get back, and homecoming was over at midnight.

The staff however, hadn't forgotten him. At eleven fifteen they had us signing paperwork and rushing us out the door. "Hope you make it back in time."

A quarter to midnight we drive up to the school, and there is his date, standing outside by the doors. They made it inside in time for the last slow dance.

He says it was the most memorable first date ever.

Happy ending: the next weekend was her school's homecoming, and they got to try again. This time without any ER visits.

mirandashell
01-10-2013, 08:12 PM
Good lord, she is way more patient than me, bless her!

Kittens Starburst
01-11-2013, 06:09 PM
More painful and humiliating accidents, more!

Just made my colleague a cup of tea, went to pour some out and add cold water as she doesn't take milk, and caught myself in the process of angling the cup in such a manner that tea would have sloshed all over my fingers. I believe it was consciousness of this thread that alerted me to the danger in the nick of time. You're doing a public service by sharing your horrible accidents!

As it transpired, I forgot to boil the kettle and she's had to make herself a fresh cup.

Robbert
01-11-2013, 07:24 PM
Here's what you want to avoid when working with a circular saw: Don't sneeze.

My cut-off index finger was eventually sewn back on, but circular saws will forever send shivers down my spine.

VirtuousKnight
01-11-2013, 09:15 PM
I once saw a tin man hanging outside a store and thought it was the coolest thing. Hey, I thought, the whole thing is made out of cans! When I got home I immedietly went for the huge empty hershey can(my mom owned a coffee shop at the time and had plenty). I took it to my bed and got at it with the can opener. After the lid was off I lost interest and went outside. Came back in to jump on my bed and sliced my foot right open :D


Plenty more incidents happened. But that one left the most generous scar. ;)

K.L. Bennett
01-12-2013, 05:02 AM
Oh man, this thread is hilarious. I don't care if it makes me a bad person, I've been giggling uncontrollably through all four pages.

This is hands down my most memorable injury: Senior year in high school, about two months from graduation, I turn 18. My house was always the "party" house, because my mom was away a lot, so of course I had a huge birthday party. I lost count of how many shots of Wild Turkey and Goldschlagger (worst. combination. ever.) I'd had about an hour or two into the party, so most of the rest of this story is not from my own independent recollection...

A large group of people, myself included, were outside on the deck/patio that was built up no more than a half a foot off the ground. I was on the phone with someone, I still to this day have no idea who, trying to convince them to COME TO MAH PARTAY!!! An awesome song comes on the stereo, and I started dancing around, still on the phone with Unknown Person, and not paying any attention to my surroundings. I supposedly stepped onto an empty fertilizer bag that was just laying around, lost my balance, and slipped off the deck. Half a foot isn't a long fall, but right below where I was dancing, there was a pile of decorative concrete blocks. So when I slipped, my foot landed between the deck and the blocks, I fell sideways, and I cracked my leg on the blocks. Probably a clean, easy little fracture. (Keep in mind this is my 7th broken bone, totally old hat, haha!)

I immediately freaked, screamed at Unknown Person on the phone that I was dieing (yes, I actually said dieing), and threw the phone into the woods next to my house (no idea whose phone I was using, by the way. I'm now wondering if they ever found it). One big bear of a friend scoops me up and carries me into the house, then sets me down on the couch where I spend the next hour or so wailing and flailing around and being generally very melodramatic as some of the more sober party guests tried to figure out just how broken the birthday girl was.

Some people thought the leg was broken, but most thought it was at most sprained, and I was just drunk and overacting, my brother included. Even if they had wanted to take to to the hospital, they wouldn't have been able to, because everyone was drunk and underage and no one wanted to call anyone's parents.

Eventually the initial excitement wears off, people go back to enjoying the party, and my brother starts teasing me, saying I can have another drink if I just get up and walk on my leg, it's not broken, you don't want to ruin your party, etc... So what do I do? I get up and walk around cause it's my birthday, dammit!! All night long. Apparently I did a fair amount of hopping, too, but I soldiered on all night.

I wake up the next morning with a leg three times the size it should be, black and blue, and I can't put any pressure on it at all. That same big bear of a friend loads me into his car and takes me to the hospital, but not before stopping off at work to drop off my brother for his shift, and to show my boss that I really, truly can't come in today. At the hospital, they determined that, why yes you silly girl, your leg is quite broken, and you did what with it all night long?! I spent the last few months of high school in a cast and couldn't even walk with my classmates at my own graduation. Happy birthday to me!

I hope it goes without saying I learned my lesson big time. I watched a bunch of friends do equally ridiculous things in college while acting as the resident DD.

This one isn't mine, but is too good not to share. A friend of mine was hiking in the woods with her family, but had lagged behind. Her mom, for some reason, had sprayed some pepper spray into the air on one side of the trail (I think there were bees or wasps or something, or she was just being weird). The next second, my friend comes rushing up the trail to catch up with her family, yelling and acting silly, like she does, and ran directly into that cloud of pepper spray. She spent the next few minutes rolling around in the dirt in agony with a face and mouth full of pepper spray. The rest of the hike was not so much fun, either.

Good times, good times.... :D

Liralen
01-12-2013, 09:25 AM
OMFG . . . I am truly a horrible person . . . laughing my ass off at the pepper spray incident . . .

Velma deSelby Bowen
01-12-2013, 09:39 AM
I've got a few stories, but this is a G-rated one, from about twenty-odd years ago: I had a day-old bagel (egg, for the record) which I put in the toaster oven to warm up, at a very low heat.


And I forgot about it.


For about four hours.


When I came home and remembered it, it was inedible: hard -- though unburnt -- and too hot to deal with. I let it cool and then had one of those surface-brilliant ideas a young, geeky sort of woman gets from time to time. I picked up the now-cool toroid of dough, and hurled it against the kitchen wall, as hard as I could.


Bagels, under those conditions, shatter, sending shrapnel flying back towards the idiot who throws them.


I ducked, and threw a hand up to protect my face. Most of the pieces went past me, but one particularly sharp chunk sliced open the back of my hand. the cut was shallow enough that it didn't need stitches, which was a mercy: I'm sure it wouldn't have been the stupidest story our local emergency room had heard, but I'm just as glad I didn't have to explain.


File this under: I Do the Research, So You Don't Have To.

Yasaibatake
01-12-2013, 10:37 AM
I only remember a tiny bit of it, but when I was 2 years old and just starting to master putting words into sentences, I was hanging out with my mom in the kitchen, chattering away. I wanted a drink, so I shoved the chair back to stand up, but instead of scooting back, it tipped over. My jaw smashed into the ground and caught my tongue between my teeth so hard, I nearly bit all the way through it. I just remember being scared and in pain, and my mom says I stopped talking for almost a year. It's a pretty cool scar though - you can still pick out each individual tooth!

Then when I was 15, I was a competitive soccer player hoping for a scholarship. There was a rumor going around that a university scout was coming to the next game, so I wanted to get noticed. A free kick came up for the other team, and our defense wasn't set. So I jumped in the way right as they kicked, and ended up getting smacked directly in the temple with the ball from about 5 yards away. According to my coach, I swayed on my feet for a few seconds before crumpling to the ground and blacking out. Luckily I only had a concussion, but that wasn't exactly the way I wanted to get the scout's attention...

I also played softball during the soccer off-season, and a few months after the soccer concussion, I tried to catch a line drive with my face. I was left with a black eye and a huge, thick scab on my cheekbone for my sophomore yearbook pictures :)

Chasing the Horizon
01-12-2013, 10:57 AM
When I was in middle school I wanted to learn how to roller skate really badly. I was at the rink with some friends and actually seemed to get the hang of it. I was so excited that I was running around the lounge area after we were finished skating . . . at which point I tripped over a step and fell on my arm hard enough to leave it bruised for a month.

So yeah, I hurt myself at the roller skating rink, after I took my damn skates off. >.<

Pyekett
01-12-2013, 05:57 PM
I am surprised our species survives.

Wicked, that's cool story.

My most memorable story comes with my most visible scar. It was in the late 90s, and I was doing home renovation with an axe while perched on a ladder.

The beam needed to come down, and the axe was the tool to do it, but I was too lazy to sharpen the edge. The blade hit the beam and then rebounded back to my face. The butt of the blade hit my forehead, somehow shearing off a c-shaped flap of skin, which I then pressed back onto the bone.

Blinded by blood--face wounds bleed something awful, even if minor--I fell heavily onto my ass and just sat there awhile, pressing the flap down. It hurt. My main thought was "I can never tell anyone about this." I certainly could not go into the local ED and 'fess up. Cripes. I knew people that worked there, and "I hit myself in the head with an axe" just isn't something you can live down.

When the lightheadedness passed, I washed my eyes and surveyed the damage. Not too bad so long as I kept pressure on the flap. I taped it down and called it a night.

No alcohol was involved, I swear. Just the fine fumes of stupidity.

A few months of wearing a baseball cap, and you could hardly tell. Nowadays you have to catch my skin in just the right light to make out an almost perfect circle of pink and shiny.

I never forgot.

But I did end up telling someone after all. ;)

StarryEyes
01-13-2013, 02:33 AM
I'm famously "unbreakable", so I don't have many of these stories, but here are a couple I can remember:

When I was six years old I was obsessed with fairies. I wanted to fly like a fairy, so one day I put a chair in the middle of the lawn and stood on it, holding out my arms, preparing to "fly". The problem was, the lawn was a bit slanted and the chair was a plastic chair. I pushed off the chair, it fell backwards, I lost balance and also fell backwards.
Somehow, I managed to hurt my nose. My NOSE. I still haven't figured out how I could fall backwards and hit my nose so hard it bled for an hour...

One of my front teeth also has an interesting history. When I was eleven years old, my sister and I were playing a stupid game where we would stand back to back with our hands on the ground and try to push each other over. I wasn't ready yet but my sister pushed me really hard anyway and I fell forwards. My face hit the seesaw in front of me (we were in the playground). Half of my front tooth broke off. I was so embarrassed to tell the dentist that I had broken my tooth because my sister pushed me over with her bum...
Fast forward three years. I was at school, writing something while a friend of mine sat beside me. She asked what I was writing but I didn't want her to see. She grabbed my piece of paper, I tried to take it back, she lifted it out of reach. In my attempt to grab the paper I fell forward and hit my mouth on the chair, breaking my front tooth AGAIN.
And only one year later, I broke it for the third time when I bit into a lollipop... My dentist was amazed at how often I had those accidents!

I also gave my sister several stupid injuries. When she was little and being potty-trained, I got annoyed with her and hit her on the head with the potty. She had to have stitches, and she still has the scar.
And another scar she still has is just under her eye, from the time I threw a coat hanger at her...

rhymegirl
01-13-2013, 03:36 AM
When I was about 4, I got my leg tangled up in the blankets at night and that morning when I went to get up I landed face-first on the floor. I split open my chin and needed stitches.

More recently, about a month ago I managed to scratch the middle of my nose myself while asleep. I woke up with a deep scratch that looked really ridiculous. Luckily there was makeup to hide the scratch while it healed.

Hiroko
01-13-2013, 06:14 AM
Here are a few--there are more, since I have a clumsy streak, but I won't bore you all with every single story.

-Sometime when I was four or five, I'm told, I had a plastic red chair I adored more than any other chair in the world. I thought I'd sit on that instead of sitting on the sofa--so I put it on the sofa and sat in it. Then I thought I'd bounce in it. So I bounced in the chair. CRAZY AS IT SOUNDS, the bouncing made the red chair fall over; I hit the coffee table at the edge of my eyebrow and still have a "dent" there. I was destined for clumsiness.

-In the third grade, I tripped over a ball and broke my left wrist. I'm left-handed.

-This past November, I tripped over my bathtub and cut a gash in my toe on the bathtub...and I'm still wondering how that happened.

So there.

Robbert
01-13-2013, 04:27 PM
Doors. The most frequent way of hurting myself relates to my height: I'm 6'5" or two metres tall.

SkyeOhWhy
01-18-2013, 03:50 AM
I once broke my hand trying to prove to my friend that a trampoline was safe.

I don't think I convinced her. :D

shakeysix
01-18-2013, 06:21 AM
This summer I passed up the car wash in our town and drove 15 miles to the next town in order to save 1$. I caught a hose around my ankle, fell and broke my thumb. I did jump straight up and finish the wash, so I did save the dolar. The total doctor bills from ER to joint specialist cost just 200$ under my 2,000$ deductible. With the saved dollar I spent 1,699 dollars on my thumb. And it hurt. Real bad.

I had to wear a stupid looking black velcro cast thing for most of the summer. It was a very hot summer. One morning I was watering the plants on my front porch and disturbed a wasp. It flew up my cast, got stuck on my wrist and stung me raw!

My grand daughters were sitting in the porch swing. You should have seen their faces while I was hopping around the yard, kicking innocent geraniums and cussing like a Marine--a skill I learned from my Marine father--s6

Graham Clayton
05-16-2013, 04:51 AM
Wearing flip-flops as a teenager and stepping on a piece of wood with an upturned nail - straight into the arch of my foot! My eyes are watering just thinking about it now.

J.S.F.
05-16-2013, 07:00 AM
I've managed to hurt myself in various and sundry ways, but the dumbest one was when a girlfriend of mine many years ago and I took a shower and we decided to have fun. She happened to be about as tall as I was (her 5'8" to my 5'11") and we...started doing what comes naturally.

Of course, the shower water was running, it was hot and steamy, and either one or both of us slipped--yes, SLIPPED--on some soap and went crashing through the door. Plastic and blood and water everywhere.

Me: "You okay?"
Her: "No."
Me: "Wanna go to the hospital?"
Her: "Yes."

We got dressed and walked about ten minutes, still wet, through the streets until we found the hospital. She had to have only three or four stitches on her hand while I had to have my scalp sewn up...it hurt a lot.

Needless to say we did the shower thing and ONLY that from then on.