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View Full Version : date is no loner a time-concept. its a place, this weekend and i fear that place.



Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
01-27-2006, 03:40 PM
AHOY!



Recently I've been on a few dates with a few different girls. There was this London fashion stylist who had this 'pocahontas' essence to her. There was this model/dancer who was playing Snow White at the Nottingham Theatre. But I didn't really....fuse with them in anyway. Nothing really in common. And now comes along 'R'.

There is something about R. In part its her bue eyes. Traditionally, I've always fallen for blue eyes. The cold, objective blue stare of knowledge that Mrs Dibnah bestowed on me at primary school. The moonlight reflecting off of Helen O'Neill's blue eyes that New Year's Eve. But there is something about R's blue eyes. They don't shine cold or reflect. Its like they have their own source of power, internal, shining this blue warmth over me. The ocean on a warm day at the beach. The blue covers of your bed on a winter's morning. When did they start making special edition blue warmth eyes and why did no one tell me?!

And then the way her right ear just sticks out from her hair. Its like this little mushroom, all alone and fragile, but I'm sure no ear has ever had such power over me before.

I know I like her because we went out for a meal (as friends) and I found myself having to pocket the ciabatta just to hide my own bread all because her left nipple was erect.

That was the first time my bread had 'risen' (without a 'cook') in several months.

After a brief period of mutual courting a date is arranged for Sunday. She has admitted to being terrified and that she is not great at making moves (apparently she has been trying to for over a month).

So the pressure comes to me, and I pass it on to those who are successful in love/dates/talking to the opposite sex whilst trying to hide your bread of biology.

what are the do and don't dos on a first date, especially when you really like the person who is going to be dating you.

(I have tried the be yourself one, and whilst I am going to obviously do this to an extent, it has led me to some dodgy date situations in recent months...and this is way too important to leave up to nique zoolio, romance-idiot).

men - how have you made the moves on first dates?

women - how have you let the men know that you want moves to be made?

i hope you are all having a great year and eating well!


all the best,

nz
x

poetinahat
01-27-2006, 04:06 PM
Mate, what a grand story. I was just watching the 'latest' (here) episode of 'NY/LON', and thought of you. Hope it's all as maddening and thrilling for you as it is for Handsome Bloke On Show.

Bollocks to advice. My best mates were full of advice, but the manuals didn't translate. It was like Bono doing a duet with Frank Sinatra: two rights made a wrong.

And bollocks to "moves".

Only thing I can say is -- bereft of courage, Dutch or otherwise, as I am with the risers of dough -- on the most important date of my life, when all else failed, I tried: "Will you do me a favour?" ... (yes, what) "Kiss me?"

Kaboom.

But, as they said in Mary Poppins... "Be careful 'ow you say it, Son, or it could change your life: One night I said it to me girl... and now me girl's me wife!"

Happy baking.

unthoughtknown
01-27-2006, 04:20 PM
When did they start making special edition blue warmth eyes and why did no one tell me?!

And then the way her right ear just sticks out from her hair. Its like this little mushroom, all alone and fragile, but I'm sure no ear has ever had such power over me before.



I am going to cry over how gorgeous this is #@!

Rob's words about the favour are VERY sexy -- would totally work. Be confident when you say it... (if you decide to say it)

OK, I am off to find my hubby because I am feeling all romantic and stuff.

NZ - I say if she's giggling and smiling and laughing - you are doing something right! And whatver it is, keep it up...

brokenfingers
01-27-2006, 05:10 PM
Important Tip:

Don't throw up on her shoes.

NeuroFizz
01-27-2006, 05:20 PM
Hi, Nique

Wow. I'm happy for you. The best way to get a message across, and to gauge her response, is with a rather tame bit of contact. When you are walking with her, reach out and hold her hand. The contact is relatively benign in terms of sexuality, but it's been known to throw a few sparks, and may ignite the kindling. Just see how she reacts. My guess is, if she is feeling the same as you, that little bit of closeness will lead to more intimacy. If you go to a restaurant, ask for a booth (if they have them). You can sit close in a booth, even get a little leg contact. Most important, is to give her some verbal affirmation about your feelings. It doesn't have to be overt, or blathering, but a good honest conversation could very well put you both at ease. Let her know you are interested in her as a person, and let the physical stuff develop on its own. Most important, don't be blind to her responses. Timidity may be interpreted as a lack of interest. Other than that, I don't know what to suggest. I've always been on the slow, deliberate side when initiating a relationship, mostly because I am a little shy in that venue, so I can speak from experience on the timidity suggestion. Above all, relax and have fun, and try your best to help her relax and have fun as well.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes (in a general sense, of course).

WVWriterGirl
01-27-2006, 06:18 PM
My best advice, if that's what you're looking for, is for you to be yourself. Before I met my husband, I always tried to be what I thought they wanted to see and experience; that's not it. When I finally did meet him, I put up no pretense, no mask of the person he wanted me to be. I was just me, and he fell for me anyway.

As far as what women want ('cause, well I'm one of those, too...), well, I suppose I could say honesty. I don't mean that while you're at dinner you should disclose every medical malady, every disgusting thing you've ever regurgitated...but show us the "real you". If that means admitting, up front, that you're a little nervous and shy around women, well, she just may appreciate that knowledge ahead of time, and maybe she won't mistake your timidity for non-interest, as NeuroFizz suggested. I think if I were dating, that would be something I would appreciate it.

You could laugh it off, say something like, "Y'know, I was feeling a little nervous about this dinner because I'm normally shy around women I'm interested in, but you've made me really comfortable..." I'll leave the timing of a statement like this to you; you'll know when it's right.

Hope you have fun, Nique. You've got a great personality, I know you'll do fine.

SC Harrison
01-27-2006, 06:29 PM
men - how have you made the moves on first dates?



Nique, I really shouldn't even post here because I am totally useless when it comes to intimacy timing, but I wanted you to know you're not the only one.

If you don't mind, I am going to observe the responses with you, in the hopes that my next date won't be as awkward as in the recent past. :(

peer54
01-28-2006, 12:53 AM
Since you've already hung out and know that the attraction is mutual, just be yourself.

I'm the kind of female that likes to make the moves so I can't give you any advice on what to look for. If I was you, I'd wait for the right moment (an intense romantic moment) and then whisper in her ear. Tell her what you told us about her blue eyes. As a blue-eyed woman, I confess that I would have melted into your arms after a description like that.

special needs
01-28-2006, 12:57 AM
Important Tip:

Don't throw up on her shoes.

To go along with this, if you get a kiss, don't throw up in her mouth, either!

robeiae
01-28-2006, 01:04 AM
keep it up...
She'll definitely appreciate that... :D

Rob :)

robeiae
01-28-2006, 01:08 AM
To aid you on your date, I present Mike Damone's Five Point Plan:

First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."
Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."
Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"
Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."
And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Rob :)

Shwebb
01-28-2006, 01:25 AM
I like the "asking" part. So gentlemanly, and since you're really giving her the power to say "no," she might feel more secure with you.

(Oh, some women might be put off by it, but I really do like it when my husband orders for me. He, of course, asks what I want first.)

Chacounne
01-28-2006, 01:29 AM
Nique,

Just tell her what's in your heart. Ten years ago, my husband (now passed away) looked into my eyes and said he'd been dreaming about me since I was 17 years old, almost twenty years. Oh how blessed I was to have that ten years, but how I wish he had spoken up earlier.

Life is too short,
Heather

Paint
01-28-2006, 01:35 AM
Guys usually know I like them and what they are doing when I lean into them, touching them, look directly into their eyes and smile real big. Something about eye contact throws sparks and I know from your posts that you are sensative and can read them.
If you come on strong and she backs up you can toss it out as a joke and say "Well that was my best John Travolta, I guess I'll just have to be myself." With a big smile and tuck her hand under your arm. That makes women feel small and protected.
The women I know like nice shoes on a man. Just a little tip.
Good luck!

Ragnarok
01-28-2006, 06:06 AM
I'm happy for you Nique. Just hope women won't keep you off the screenplay club now.




men - how have you made the moves on first dates?

x

The only thing to know is Women are weird and different. Forget things we guys cherish such as Logic, straight talking,... You're entering the world of Emotions, guess work, mood swings,... Try not to take all that may go wrong personally. It really may have nothing to do with you.

eldragon
01-28-2006, 06:10 AM
Just kiss her, but make sure your breath is good, you don't salivate in her mouth, the timing is right and that she wants to be kissed.



Oh, and by you, that is.

Perks
01-28-2006, 06:30 AM
I'm happy for you Nique. Just hope women won't keep you off the screenplay club now.



The only thing to know is Women are weird and different. Forget things we guys cherish such as Logic, straight talking,... You're entering the world of Emotions, guess work, mood swings,... Try not to take all that may go wrong personally. It really may have nothing to do with you.

And whatever you do, Nique my love, do not lay this little gem of insider knowledge on her. Ignorance of your status as a man-in-the-know-of-how-cluless-women-are, can only work in your favor.

Forget that she was forthcoming enough to tip her irrational hand and admit to how nervous she has been to approach you. The good news is that most of us will readily cop to being weird and different. All the rest is usually just picking a fight.


***


Seriously, you already articulate an appreciation of things feminine; things we wonder if anyone but cinematographers really see. She'll feel you looking at her that way and she'll love it. It's not going to be a problem, Zoolio. You're going to be bold and puking nervous and you'll probably bump noses while you figure out which side you're supposed to be on. The first kiss will be over before you know it, so try to pay attention - just for later reference, because once you're back at home, staring at the ceiling, it'll be the one thing that'll be difficult to play back in clarity.

Have so much fun...

scarletpeaches
01-28-2006, 06:37 AM
Glad I'm not the only one who's half in love with Nique already...

Perks
01-28-2006, 06:39 AM
Half? You heartless wench. Check your pulse.

P.H.Delarran
01-28-2006, 08:09 AM
If your adoration shows as much in person to ehr as it does in your post, she will have no doubt how interested you are. If her eyes are as expressive as you say, she 'prolly uses expressive body language as well. Leaning into you, looking you right in the eye often, physical contact and body pose all give clues.
Her conversation will give hints as well. Listen for opportunities to suggest future dates and see how she responds.
Anyway..mostly just have fun and enjoy her without expectations, the most fun is usually had when one is most comfortable;)

P.H.Delarran
01-28-2006, 08:09 AM
Oh yeah, and wear a really dreamy cologne. :D

Perks
01-28-2006, 08:31 AM
If you must. But make it just a teeny, tiny dab of dreamy cologne, so she has to lean in really close to even be certain it's there... now, there's a plan.

brokenfingers
01-28-2006, 08:33 AM
Wow. Where were all you fine people years ago when I was served with a court order?

rhymegirl
01-30-2006, 04:40 PM
I'm wondering how the big date went.

Oh Nique! Are you still alive???

NeuroFizz
01-30-2006, 05:24 PM
Shhhhh. The "do not disturb" sign is out.

poetinahat
01-31-2006, 01:34 AM
Is anybody else thinking that
Nique is the LAST person here to need dating advice
?

Thanks for letting us join in, but we're all in love with you anyway.

Well, *ahem* in an appropriate manner, of course.
sohowboutthatsuperbowl, eh?

Maryn
01-31-2006, 02:04 AM
Maybe Nique forgets that women find a guy who's unsure of himself and is crazy about you absolutely adorable?

I thought Mr. Maryn didn't like me after our first date. It took him more than two weeks to find the courage to ask for a second date--and I found that charming.

Maryn, wondering if the Do Not Disturb sign is still out

Carole
01-31-2006, 03:36 AM
Hubby is the most self confident person I know, but even he admits to being freaked out a little when I flew to Florida to meet him the first time. I don't think any person, male or female, is immune.

The best thing he did was walk up to me in the airport witha huge grin and say, "I am about to do something I have wanted to do for a very long time..." And then he kissed me. Then he told me I had pretty eyes.

Great start, I'd say.

I am dying to know how Nique's date went!!!!

brokenfingers
01-31-2006, 03:38 AM
I'm sure he'll let us know how it goes as soon as he posts bail...

Carole
01-31-2006, 03:59 AM
~laughing~

Poor Nique...everyone has a theory.

scarletpeaches
01-31-2006, 04:25 AM
I bet he's worn it down to a stump.

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
02-01-2006, 10:49 PM
thanks so much everyone for your kind words and advice in both public and private!

i am very grateful for your support.

the date went very well and i'll be seeing her again very soon.

x

rhymegirl
02-01-2006, 10:51 PM
the date went very well and i'll be seeing her again very soon.

x

That's good to hear! I never doubted you for a second.

SC Harrison
02-02-2006, 03:26 AM
the date went very well and i'll be seeing her again very soon.

x

Awesome! Just be careful, man. The second date is much more important than the first, because chicks will cut you some slack on the first date, but you have to do everything right on the second one, or it's "hasta la vista, baby."

Just kidding, Nique. You're solid. ;)