When executing in North Korea, break out a big gun.

Williebee · Oct 25, 2012

Up front, I admit that the only news story I've seen on this is this one from the Telegraph.

Kim Chol, vice minister of the army, was taken into custody earlier this year on the orders of Kim Jong-un, who assumed the leadership after the death of his father in December.

On the orders of Kim Jong-un to leave "no trace of him behind, down to his hair," according to South Korean media, Kim Chol was forced to stand on a spot that had been zeroed in for a mortar round and "obliterated."

It is reported to be part of a purge by Kim Jong-un.

Just...damn.

Zoombie · Oct 25, 2012

Third verse, same as the first...

Gil Paul · Oct 25, 2012

It was either going to be mortar fire or the pool of piranhas. They had to settle for the mortar because the piranhas had all starved. Even a daily diet of North Koreans was insufficient to sustain them.

Mara · Oct 25, 2012

Wow. It's almost like they _try_ to be over-the-top homicidal supervillains.

That chump's head is gonna end up on a spike some day, though. I think he's going to be the last of his line to rule.

Priene · Oct 26, 2012

Well, it sounds supervillainly, but if a country insists on executing people, it's a lot more humane than than strapping them to a chair, injecting them with paralysing drugs so as not to disturb onlookers and then frying them until their blood boils.

Don · Oct 26, 2012

Priene said:
Well, it sounds supervillainly, but if a country insists on executing people, it's a lot more humane than than strapping them to a chair, injecting them with paralysing drugs so as not to disturb onlookers and then frying them until their blood boils.

But mortars? That's so, I dunno, WW II or Vietnam or something. If they can't afford drones they shouldn't be blowing people up.

Priene · Oct 26, 2012

Don said:
But mortars? That's so, I dunno, WW II or Vietnam or something. If they can't afford drones they shouldn't be blowing people up.

I'll agree it's a little melodramatic. But it'd be over pretty quickly. Unless they're using faulty munitions.

Shadow Dragon · Oct 26, 2012

It's kind of ironic that the way designed to be the biggest spectacle to spread fear is also probably one of the most humane way of executing them.

Maxinquaye · Oct 26, 2012

Don said:
But mortars? That's so, I dunno, WW II or Vietnam or something. If they can't afford drones they shouldn't be blowing people up.

But silly, Don. Don't you know that only Muslim innocent bystanders are blown up by drones? And it's not like they're innocent bystanders at all. They're Muslim. And if the bystanders are male, and if they're between the ages of 16 and 65, they're enemy combatants by default.

Max, who wonders if he needs the sarcasm smiley

Cyia · Oct 26, 2012

1 - unless chains are involved, how do you "force" someone to stand in a spot to their death? Is someone else going to stand out there and hang onto him?

2 - do I even need to bring up the efficiency of a certain country's weapons deployment and targeting systems?

Snowstorm · Oct 26, 2012

Williebee said:
Just...damn.

x2 That's all I can think of. Just ... damn ....

Snowstorm · Oct 26, 2012

I just ran across this on AOL, that Choi was executed for drinking during the 100-day mourning period.

But did Choi cry hard enough?

Kaiser-Kun · Oct 26, 2012

There was an old cartoon where a tyrannic republic executed people by a firing squad... of tanks.

Monkey · Oct 26, 2012

Wait, wait...

They wanted every trace of him obliterated, gone. So they killed him in such a way that his name would be known across the globe and his death would be immortalized in newsprint?

Hehe. Brilliant.

AncientEagle · Oct 26, 2012

Cyia said:
1 - unless chains are involved, how do you "force" someone to stand in a spot to their death? Is someone else going to stand out there and hang onto him?

2 - do I even need to bring up the efficiency of a certain country's weapons deployment and targeting systems?

Not just "a certain country's," though. Mortars are an area weapon, great for their intended purpose, but not the thing I would choose to obliterate somebody. Even if he obediently stood still, lobbing one mortar round at him, as the report I read stated, would be like trying to kill a mouse by lobbing one rock at it.

Teinz · Oct 26, 2012

This (and all other horror stories from overthere) kinda makes me wish North Korea was sitting on a large amount of oil...

Priene · Oct 26, 2012

AncientEagle said:
Not just "a certain country's," though. Mortars are an area weapon, great for their intended purpose, but not the thing I would choose to obliterate somebody. Even if he obediently stood still, lobbing one mortar round at him, as the report I read stated, would be like trying to kill a mouse by lobbing one rock at it.

If it was a real firing squad, as reported (though let's face there's no way we're going to find out for sure what happened), there might have been several units firing mortars. Which sounds like something out of Team America: World Police.

Cyia · Oct 26, 2012

Monkey said:
Wait, wait...

They wanted every trace of him obliterated, gone. So they killed him in such a way that his name would be known across the globe and his death would be immortalized in newsprint?

Hehe. Brilliant.

One of the strangest phenomena with NK is that the guys in charge seem to have started believing their own press. It's like with the photos that came out of Kim Jong Il before he died. They were obvious photoshop jobs, but NK was surprised that anyone questioned them. The world press doesn't operate like a "state-sanctioned" press.

Don · Oct 26, 2012

Teinz said:
This (and all other horror stories from overthere) kinda makes me wish North Korea was sitting on a large amount of oil...

Man, there's just no way to follow that one. Priceless.

regdog · Oct 26, 2012

Monkey said:
Wait, wait...

They wanted every trace of him obliterated, gone. So they killed him in such a way that his name would be known across the globe and his death would be immortalized in newsprint?

Hehe. Brilliant.

The world may know but the people of North Korea won't. All media access including internet is completely controlled and censored by the government.

Priene · Oct 26, 2012

regdog said:
The world may know but the people of North Korea won't. All media access including internet is completely controlled and censored by the government.

But if you wanted someone to disappear completely from view, you probably wouldn't dispose of them in such a novel manner. It makes me wonder if this wasn't done pour encourager les autres.

clintl · Oct 26, 2012

If they really wanted to do this right, they would have used one of their nukes on him.

Snowstorm · Oct 26, 2012

clintl said:
If they really wanted to do this right, they would have used one of their nukes on him.

Kaiser-Kun · Oct 26, 2012

For REALLY cruel humor, they could've given him a tiny umbrella to hide under.

When executing in North Korea, break out a big gun.

Capeless, wingless, & yet I fly.

Dragon of the Multiverse

Clever User Title

Out to lunch

All Living is Local

Out to lunch

That cheeky buggerer

Rewriting My Destiny

Baby plot bunneh sniffs out a clue

Baby plot bunneh sniffs out a clue

!

Is me.

Old kid, no need to be gentle.

Back at it again.

Out to lunch

Rewriting My Destiny

All Living is Local

The Scavengers

Out to lunch

Represent.

Baby plot bunneh sniffs out a clue

!