"Night's End" in SYW - help?

Hi, guys, I know I must be getting annoying, but I'm scrambling to meet the deadline on these stories and my betas aren't keeping up. I've just posted the last of the bunch in SYW, and would be grateful for any feedback you can offer. I hope to send the little beast off to the editor tomorrow. Gods bless you if you have time and are willing to help. I swear I'll return the favor as soon as I've gotten this mad rush done.

Paige

Sailor suggested I add a link to the story in the SYW forum:

http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=255355