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View Full Version : Non sequiturs - Is Reality Just A Hoax In My Head?



Perks
01-18-2006, 04:36 AM
Do you ever just see something that makes you wonder if any of this is really real? Post it here. I wanna know if other people have these moments.



So, today I'm walking down my street and there are dozens, I'm talking maybe even a hundred, baby-blue golf tees scattered across the street in front of a house that's under contruction. I looked around for David Lynch, but he wasn't there. Good thing too, I hate that bastard.

writerterri
01-18-2006, 05:12 AM
I have "what's this all for moments". I wish we had rewind or easy buttons and fastforward wouldn't be so bad either.


Terri

Celia Cyanide
01-18-2006, 05:30 AM
It was late at night, and I was walking home from the club. I passed by a fountain. An old man with a long white beard was asleep at the foot of the fountain, and there were huge waves of soap suds flowing out of it. The soap suds were oozing out of the concrete borders of the fountain, and it was making a pretty pattern across the sidewalk. It looked like modern art. There was a tiny pink box at the old man's feet. When I went to pick it up, a group of scandanavian people walked by me, one by one, and each of them said, "Did you do this?" as they passed. I took the box home with me. It had two round knotted black balls inside, and I'm still trying to figure out which one will make me grow taller, and which one will make me grow shorter.

Perks
01-18-2006, 05:52 AM
Oh see, that's exactly why this could be my new favorite thread. (Even if I did start it myself.) People endowed with a way with words, describing weird sh!t. I'm so excited!

William Haskins
01-18-2006, 06:25 AM
I looked around for David Lynch, but he wasn't there. Good thing too, I hate that bastard.

that sound you hear is my heart breaking.

SC Harrison
01-18-2006, 06:55 AM
Many years ago I found myself browsing the almost endless shops in the souk off Bourguiba Square in Tunis. One of my two buddies was determined to purchase a Persian rug and have it shipped back to the States, so I decided to tag along. We chose one of the larger rug merchant's shops and began a painfully long and complicated ritual of rug sampling, which eventually led us upstairs where they kept the really good ones. The ritual involves the owner picking out a rolled-up rug, and having his assistants ceremoniously roll it open, accompanied by the required "oohs" and "aahs".

After about 45 minutes of this, I was stifling a yawn in the overly warm shop, so I excused myself to go grab a smoke outside. As I was descending the carpeted stairs, I noticed a partially opened door in the dark stairway that I hadn't noticed before, due to the hanging rugs everywhere. Hearing subdued voices, I opened the door a little farther and noticed four Arab men seated on a huge rounded couch, with one of those massive, complicated, multi-hosed hash pipes on the table in front of them. I was just about to run when one of them smiled and motioned for me to sit, which I did. We didn't really talk, in the classic sense, but we laughed almost continuously.

Some time later I found my buddy still surveying rugs; the pile had grown to almost two feet, and the shopkeeper had a desperate look on his face. As they continued to unfurl the rugs, I realized they were all extremely beautiful and intricate, and my poor buddy had succumbed to sensory overload. When an especially nice one with perfect colors and an entrancing pattern was thrown down, I said "That's the one!", and my buddy said, "Whatever. I'll take it."

He paid about two hundred American for it, and had it appraised here in the States for over six thousand. I often go shopping for rugs these days, but I have never seen anything close to that rug, and I probably never will. After seeing what a couple of hundred bucks will get me in the souk, I'm spoiled forever as far as rugs go.

Perks
01-18-2006, 07:06 AM
that sound you hear is my heart breaking.

It happened again - twice in one day. First the golf-tees, now William claims he has a heart.

Celia Cyanide
01-18-2006, 07:48 PM
Oh see, that's exactly why this could be my new favorite thread. (Even if I did start it myself.) People endowed with a way with words, describing weird sh!t. I'm so excited!

I concur.

I seem to have bizarre, surreal experiences on a semi-regular basis, but the opportunity for sharing them comes so infrequently. I've got plenty more for later.

writerterri
01-18-2006, 10:51 PM
I have had this strange experience for about 7 years. It happens about 2 times a year.

The first time it happened I was visiting my grandmother overnight. Suddenly in the middle of the night I find myself sitting up in bed fully awake and aware staring at this dangling spider about three feet in front of me. It takes about 15 seconds to fade away then it's gone. Then a few months later it happened again at my house. Same spider just dangling in mid air with slow movements. Then a few more months later another spider, but this one is different and on the window sill. It's big and hairy and it runs behind the curtain. I pulled the curtain back but it wasn't there. The other spider doesn't make me feel scared in fact I feel at ease with it. But the big hairy one gives me the creeps. One night, a few years ago I saw a spider about the size of my hand crawl across the ceiling. I sat up fully awake, and watched it as it moved across the entire distance of the room then go behind the drapes. When I went to get up there was this green flash and I knew it was gone. I didn't know what to make of this nor do I now, except I feel like nut farm material for telling about my spiders. I dismiss as a dream while I'm awake. Unless someone else can explain it.

Well that's my real hoax.

Terri

NickDangr
01-18-2006, 11:04 PM
I routinely "hallucinate" (for lack of a better-accepted explanation) things. Seems to happen about the same time each night (2:14 or so in the a.m.). Most often, they're spiders. Not dangling from the ceiling, but in the bed. I have seen other strange things that aren't really explainable either.

Once, I saw what appeared to be a girl scout hovering in the air at the foot of the bed. I woke up my wife and she said she saw some kind of shadow fly past the bed <shrug> - Hoax or not, its weird but one gets used to weirdness.

So if weirdness is routine, is it weird anymore?

A psychologist might say that a person who's perception of reality isn't what the bulk of society accepts as normal is a psychopath?

JoeEkaitis
01-18-2006, 11:09 PM
If I catch myself on autopilot while driving on the freeway ("Whoa! Here's my offramp! I don't even remember driving through Montclair!"), I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had crashed back there. Would I know?

JAlpha
01-18-2006, 11:19 PM
It's been happening every year for the past 15 years. Sometime between mid April to early May, a huge flock of blackbirds--I'm talkin' thousands of blackbirds--migrate north and then west over my house.

OK, nothing weird about that, right? Well, they land on a hundred-plus-year-old oak tree in the middle of my back yard, and they stay there for about 2-3 minutes. They make an incredible amount of noise, squawking and fluttering on their approach, but then they go silent when they land on the tree.

Very eerie occurrence, in and of itself, but what really creeps me out is that up until last year, I've been the only person that has ever seen them fly through the subdivision at all, let alone witness their landing in my oak tree.

At least last year, two neighbors finally called to tell me they saw the birds fly over their houses, but I'm still the only person that has witnessed their silent vigil in my oak tree. I've tried keeping a camera out on my kitchen counter during that time of the year, but there never seems to be enough time for me to grab the camera run outside and get the picture snapped before they leave. I also think it's weird that I've not missed witnessing this event once in fifteen years. I'm out and away from home a minimum of 2 days a week, but they always fly by when I'm home, and never once in 15 years have they ever flown over during the weekend, when there would be more people around to witness this odd event.

I really, really, really want to know why they do what they do---what's up with that tree? It's not looking very healthy these days, and we've been advised by an arborist that it may need to be cut down this year, because it's beginning to show signs of internal decay on one entire half of the upper branches and trunk---which is also the side of the tree that appears to have been struck by lightening at one time, maybe well over 20 years ago, according to the arborist.

The arborist thinks the tree is merely a point of navigation for the flock. So what happens if I cut it down? Will they get lost, blame me, and peck my eyes out :Wha:

pconsidine
01-18-2006, 11:27 PM
J,

We have the same thing with crows. I live next to a public park and for some reason as soon as the first cool fall day hits, the place begins to accumulate crows. Right about this time of year, it hits its max of probably probably around 500. They'll spend the next month or so flying from one tree to the next en masse from around dusk till 6:30PM every night, cawing and fussing and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Then, around the last week of February, they start trickling away until they're all gone by end of March.

Every year, it's exactly the same. But what really creeped me out was when someone told me that crows are actually spirits in transit. I didn't think anything of it until I noticed that there's a cemetery on the other side of the park.

Now every time those hundreds of crows take flight and caw, it makes me shiver.

Damn creepy crows.

JoeEkaitis
01-18-2006, 11:29 PM
. . .The arborist thinks the tree is merely a point of navigation for the flock. So what happens if I cut it down? Will they get lost, blame me, and peck my eyes out :Wha:Probably not, but I wouldn't park the car under utility lines and overhanging branches.

JAlpha
01-18-2006, 11:32 PM
Probably not, but I wouldn't park the car under utility lines and overhanging branches.


That reminds me...I need to go outside and move my house---it's parked under the tree :ROFL:

sirensix
01-18-2006, 11:53 PM
Once I was driving down Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles in moderate to heavy traffic, alongside a long line of cars neatly parallel parked along the side of the road. And then I noticed that one of them was on fire.

Just this bath of flames rushing up from underneath, and smoke beginning to seep out the windows. No one was in the car or even standing nearby. The cars parallel parked on either side of it were perfectly normal. Just... one random flaming car.

JoeEkaitis
01-19-2006, 12:16 AM
That reminds me...I need to go outside and move my house---it's parked under the tree And now you know why no one climbs up there to retrieve Frisbees and footballs.

"Who needs Guano Island?"

JAlpha
01-19-2006, 12:32 AM
And now you know why no one climbs up there to retrieve Frisbees and footballs.

"Who needs Guano Island?"

Whenever any citizen of the United States discovers a deposit of guano on any island, rock, key, not within the lawful jurisdiction of any other government, and not occupied by the citizens of any other government, and takes peaceable possession thereof, and occupies the same, such island, rock, or key may, at the discretion of the President, be considered as appertaining to the United States. - Guano Island Act of 1856

Cool! If I can get that ammended to include squirrel droppings, I'd like to stake my claim on my neighbor's built-in pool, they never use it anyway, might as well be mine :D

JAlpha
01-19-2006, 12:52 AM
Last weekend, I visited with my daughter on her college campus, and I took a self-guided tour of historic southern architecture.

I passed by an antebellum-styled home with its majestic Greek pillars and six roaring chimney stacks. Something looked out of place. Then I noticed a zebra-striped Jeep parked in the driveway---Jurassic Park meets Gone with the Wind http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteShrug.gif

Perks
01-19-2006, 12:56 AM
That's a good one! When I was touring the Garden District in New Orleans we stopped by Anne Rice's house (sidenote: NIN's Trent Reznor has the most sedately grey box of house. Very strange and unlikely in its own right.)

These historic homes are under strict guidelines for upkeep and embellishments, but Anne Rice had a four-foot-tall, plastic German Sheperd on her veranda. Very odd.

Perks
01-19-2006, 01:03 AM
The weirdest one I've ever experienced was the day after I'd watched the film Dominic and Eugene. At one point, there was a little transitional scene where an older man was walking what looked like an Irish Wolfhound on a length of rope. I don't know why I even noticed the scene at all.

The very next day, I was stopped at a traffic light, and (I swear this is true) there was an older man walking down the sidewalk with an Irish Wolfhound on a bit of dirty rope for a leash. I don't know that I've ever even seen an Irish Wolfhound in life, before or since.

Subsequently, I've never quite convinced myself that I'm not dead or in the Matrix.

arrowqueen
01-19-2006, 01:41 AM
I met a baby elephant out shopping once. (Well, I was out shopping. The elephant wasn't.)

There turned out to be a perfectly prosaic explanation. There was a circus in town and they were leading the baby elephant round the town centre to advertise the show - but I didn't find this out till later.

My first reaction was: 'Oh, look! There's an elephant.'

My second was: 'I think I might go home now and lie down in a darkened room for a wee while.'

robeiae
01-19-2006, 01:45 AM
I turned on the television yesterday and found something I wanted to watch...

Rob :)

arrowqueen
01-19-2006, 01:52 AM
Oh, and I've been accosted by men in tiger costumes, not once but twice.

The first tiger was collecting for charity and went away quite peaceably after I gave it 50p.

The second had obviously spent its lunch-hour in the pub (in all fairness, it must be thirsty work inside a tiger-skin), took a drunken fancy to me, staggered up and said , in a thick Glaswegian accent: 'Hey doll. Y'awright?'

You don't get chatted up by a drunken tiger very often.

robeiae
01-19-2006, 01:55 AM
The second had obviously spent its lunch-hour in the pub (in all fairness, it must be thirsty work inside a tiger-skin), took a drunken fancy to me, staggered up and said , in a thick Glaswegian accent: 'Hey doll. Y'awright?'
It wasn't a tiger, it was a leopard, and I don't even have an accent...

Celia Cyanide
01-19-2006, 02:37 AM
Once, when I was a teenager, I was talking on the phone, and I saw a number 6 on my ceiling. I reached out my arm in front of my window and passed my fingers across the strip of light poking out between the edge of the window and the bottom of the blinds. I looked up at the ceiling and saw the shadows of my fingers tracing around the number 6. There was no mistaking it--for some reason, the beam of light was twisted into a number 6 and reflecting up above my bed. "Oh, cool!" I said to my friend, "There's a number 9 on my ceiling!" You know, just in case it was Satan trying to freak me out. I don't know what caused it, but I had been in my room at that time of day many, many times, and I never saw that before or since.

WerenCole
01-19-2006, 04:22 AM
This is not quite strange and unusual, but to I thought it was odd. I just moved to Richmond, Va which has been selected as the 5th most dangerous city in America (I am here for school, otherwise there is no way in holy hell I would have come to this god forsaken land) and as I walked down the sidewalk to one of my classes I noticed that five cars in a row had smashed windows and windshields. My jaw dropped. I had walked by those same cars earlier and they were fine. The vandalism had been done in broad daylight. . . I grew up in Maine and lived in quiet places in Va and Co and to see this randon act of destruction was a new thing to me. . . I think I heard a gunshot earlier the other morning. . . :welcome:

It's okay guys, don't worry about me, I have a border collie who takes care of my security. . .:snoopy:

sirensix
01-19-2006, 07:46 PM
Oh wow. That reminds me of another one.

My apartment complex is basically two identical buildings with a sort of driveway of a parking lot in between, and a fence at the back. So there's only one way out. Back when I was going to community college, I got up one morning to walk to the bus stop. I got as far as the sidewalk and turned right to head for the appropriate street corner, and was stopped by crime scene tape. I'd never seen crime scene tape before, but it clearly said "Do not cross" all over it. Whoa, I thought. I guess I'll have to walk around the block or something. So I did an about face and headed the other way up the sidewalk. Saw crime scene tape again.

Wha....?

Then I heard a shout. A policeman was running toward me. "Ma'am," he said. "This is a crime scene, you need to leave the area."

"But um... I live here." I pointed dumbly at the buildings behind me.

The policeman apologized, and very kindly escorted me over the crime scene tape to my bus stop.

As it happens, a car chase had ended about twenty feet from my front door in a hail of gunfire. There'd been helicopters. A man died.

I'd slept through the whole thing.