View Full Version : Beta Needed: YA Paranormal Romance -- Sealer's Promise

09-25-2012, 04:28 AM
Hello :)

The time has finally come to seek someone to beta read my novel, Sealer's Promise (Previously titled Moon Dance. I really need to update my signature.). It is a paranormal romance and is roughly 106,000 words long.

The book has been through two rounds of revision plus a read-through to fix as many typos, grammar errors, etc. as I was able to catch.

My goal is to self publish and I am determined to release something that is the absolute best that I can make it. That means I need feedback, which has lead me here to seek help.

Here is the blurb:

Some promises are meant to be broken.

Sarena Lengton knows what it's like to die--two years ago her soul journeyed to the Underworld. Zakariah, the Lord of Judgement, has offered to spare her life in return for a promise. Sarena must convince his younger brother, Kesyl, to use his powers as a Sealer to open a portal to the Underworld. Then Zakariah can absorb Kesyl's soul and experience life on Earth.

Now seventeen, Sarena has managed to avoid completing Zakariah's task. But when she witnesses a murder at Sterling High where nothing but a skeleton is left behind, Sarena knows she will need Kesyl's help to catch the killer. As they work together, she finds herself falling for the boy she promised to help destroy.

Sarena doesn't want to know what Zakariah will do to her if she defies him. But if she keeps her end of the bargain, Kesyl will lose his soul. Can Sarena keep her life and her love? Or will both be torn from her forever?


What am I looking for from a beta reader?

(1) Does everything make sense? If there are things that are confusing or illogical I need to know.

(2) Is there anywhere that my characters take something too far? I have a couple nutcases in this book (watch out for Jayden, Ruby, Avish and Kyden mainly) and I figure it's easier to tone down anything that is too out there rather then turn it up later.

(3) Do the fight scenes work or are they repetitive?

(4) Does Kess and Sara's relationship make sense by the end or is it weird? Does it ever go too fast? Too slow?

(5) Does the book hold your interest? Is there anywhere that you feel it bogs down too much? Why?

(6) Do you feel that the book is "complete"? Did it end in a satisfying way? Does finishing this make you want to read another? Are there any loose ends that I did not address?


I can send you the whole thing, or I can send you a few chapters so that you can sample my work and see whether my writing is your cup of tea. Just let me know your preference if the blurb has caught your interest.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thread. I hope to hear from you soon. Have a great day! :)

09-25-2012, 05:14 AM
PM Sent