Help writing dialogue

Jessie_s123 · Jan 17, 2006

Hello, I want to write some dialogue between a mother & daughter about a children's book called 'Swan Lake'. They have a special deep bond; the girl is eleven years old and has the innocent demeanor and narrow vocabulary of every normal little girl of her age, not like these too precocious, mature children... She's also a fragile, (slim, tiny nose, small face) shy, diffident, affectionate child who idolizes her mom, to whom she's very attached with.

The Mom, is an independent woman; direct, outspoken...

If someone here knows that book, could you please make up some lines for their conversation?

Thanks

Maryn · Feb 12, 2006

Jessie, people here are glad to help one another, but not to do one another's work. We hope you want to be a writer yourself, not just know writers who'll hand you their words.

Don't take that as a slap in the face--it isn't one. What we'd be more than glad to do to assist you is to take a look at the dialogue you've written and tell you what we see as its problems, if there are any. Are there places where the child sounds too adult? Too knowing or jaded? Is her take on the book age-appropriate? Does the mom seem cruel rather than simply outspoken? Does she treat her daughter in a way that seem plausible? Does it sound like real people talking? Does every line move the story forward or develop character?

You write up a draft, and we'll help you shine it right up--under your own power.

Maryn, pleased to meet you

AdamH · Feb 13, 2006

Hi Jessie, welcome to the boards! :welcome:

So are you looking for examples on how to write these characters, or are you looking for someone to write them for you? But, I'll assume you want to know how to write them.

Maryn touched upon a couple of questions you'd have to answer because depending on who the character is (the outspoken mother and the shy tween), and what their motivations of this discussion about Swan Lake are, it can be written differently.

For example, if it's purely just an exchange of information, the mother would dominate the conversation while the daughter might give some vocal queues like "yeah" or "uh-huh" or "cool" or "that's gross".
But then, you'd have to think about stuff like: is the daughter annoyed that the mom is telling her this story? That would change her reaction. The daughter might want to get away or doesn't care. Is the mother trying to nudge the daughter out of her shell? Is the mom trying to get to know more about her daughter since they probably don't talk much since the daughter's shy?

I suppose if we knew more about your goals for the story we could help you out more.

And again, welcome!

Help writing dialogue

Jessie_s123

Maryn

Baaa!

AdamH

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