How Do You Feel About Your Naughty Bits?

February · Sep 11, 2012

One of my big things with writing is that when you get to the "Naughty Bits" people knew it was you who wrote it!

Because I have a particularly nasty character in my second book, the sex bits aren't very nice, and it even makes me cringe to read it thinking I hope people reading this don't think it's anything that I have personally experienced - especially at this stage it's only family and friends. It's taken me forever to allow my mum to read it. Thank God she's more open minded than I thought!

How does anyone else feel?

Transatlantic · Sep 11, 2012

I'm actually really skeeved out by the thought of family members reading sex scenes I've written, and so I've basically avoided writing any thus far!

I'll probably have to bite the bullet eventually, though.

I guess ultimately I'd be a better writer if I overcame this aversion. But at the moment, I've got enough other kinds of scenes to work at being good at, and I don't think this book really needs sex scenes.

Anninyn · Sep 11, 2012

About ten years ago I had my sense of shame surgically removed. I haven't missed it.

Seriously, it's my job. I'm going to write some stuff that people might find uncomfortable. My close family have known me since birth and know I have a good imagination, so I don't need to worry there. My more distant family - well, if they couldn't be bothered till now, I don't think I care.

My mother was a hippy who lived in squats. I don't think I could shock her. My dad spent some time taking drugs in foreign countries. I can't shock him. My aunt is a psychiatric nurse. I really can't shock her.

February · Sep 11, 2012

Transatlantic said:
I'm actually really skeeved out by the thought of family members reading sex scenes I've written, and so I've basically avoided writing any thus far!

I'll probably have to bite the bullet eventually, though.

I guess ultimately I'd be a better writer if I overcame this aversion. But at the moment, I've got enough other kinds of scenes to work at being good at, and I don't think this book really needs sex scenes.

I still see myself at the kitchen table with my typewriter looking over my shoulder thinking , hehehehe - and looking around feeling bad!

February · Sep 11, 2012

Anninyn said:
About ten years ago I had my sense of shame surgically removed. I haven't missed it.

Seriously, it's my job. I'm going to write some stuff that people might find uncomfortable. My close family have known me since birth and know I have a good imagination, so I don't need to worry there. My more distant family - well, if they couldn't be bothered till now, I don't think I care.

My mother was a hippy who lived in squats. I don't think I could shock her. My dad spent some time taking drugs in foreign countries. I can't shock him. My aunt is a psychiatric nurse. I really can't shock her.

It turns out my mum is more of a normal human being than I thought! She's loving it/them!

Anninyn · Sep 11, 2012

February said:
It turns out my mum is more of a normal human being than I thought! She's loving it/them!

Well, you exist, so I presume she knows what sex is like.

February · Sep 11, 2012

Anninyn said:
Well, you exist, so I presume she knows what sex is like.

That I understand, but she's always been very much a prude - until now!

seun · Sep 11, 2012

Funny that people ask how we feel about relatives or friends reading our sex scenes but not our violent or gory scenes.

kkbe · Sep 11, 2012

seun: Funny that people ask how we feel about relatives or friends reading our sex scenes but not our violent or gory scenes.

I taught kindergarten. I tell people I've written a novel and everybody assumes it's a children's book, and I have to tell 'em, "Nope, it's a story about two guys locked in a jail cell and one of them could be a rapist/psychopath," or, "Actually, this one's about an alchoholic asshole college professor who falls for a teenaged male prostitute with a death wish," or "My novel's about a young woman arrested for stabbing her abusive stepfather to death with a butcher knife."

Which means, I thought about that stuff, which makes me what?

And I'm not even talking sex scenes. . .

Ol' Fashioned Girl · Sep 11, 2012

Since this topic has absolutely nothing at all to do with AW History, I'll be moving it to Office Party for the time being. If there's a more appropriate section, it'll be moved again when I have more time to study it.

Theundergroundauthor · Sep 11, 2012

kkbe said:
I taught kindergarten. I tell people I've written a novel and everybody assumes it's a children's book, and I have to tell 'em, "Nope, it's a story about two guys locked in a jail cell and one of them could be a rapist/psychopath," or, "Actually, this one's about an alchoholic asshole college professor who falls for a teenaged male prostitute with a death wish," or "My novel's about a young woman arrested for stabbing her abusive stepfather to death with a butcher knife."

Which means, I thought about that stuff, which makes me what?

And I'm not even talking sex scenes. . .

Haha - I have the idea for a novel in my mind. Anyway, it's basically about a guy who is shunned by girls at high school for whatever reason, and then hunts and kills them later in life. (There's a good twist). Not sure what to do with that one. Really don't want all my friends looking at me differently! Especially the female ones!

February · Sep 11, 2012

seun said:
Funny that people ask how we feel about relatives or friends reading our sex scenes but not our violent or gory scenes.

Funny you should say that; a client of mine read my first book and when she came back into the salon she said, "it's very violent, I didn't know you were like that"

I thought What!, and questioned her about whether she thought all the authors out there who write about murder, have murdered someone!

She's actually an odd one as she liked the story - for all the wrong reasons.
Disliked the best characters, and loved the ones she wasn't meant to! *rolls eyes*

February · Sep 11, 2012

Ol' Fashioned Girl said:
Since this topic has absolutely nothing at all to do with AW History, I'll be moving it to Office Party for the time being. If there's a more appropriate section, it'll be moved again when I have more time to study it.

I wondered - still haven't found my way completely round the boards yet, and not quite sure as to where some things go.
Apologies, and thank you.

Ol' Fashioned Girl · Sep 11, 2012

No problem, February. AW is an awfully big place - it took me forever to figure out where I was, let alone where everything else was. It's gotten even bigger since then, but that just means it's got lots of room to spread out and get comfy. Welcome to the forum!

Specval · Sep 11, 2012

I won't even let my husband read the description of the main male character for fear that he'll be like 'So, this is who your ideal man is?' That's not the case at all but I just can't imagine him reacting any other way. The thought of someone reading my sex scene and thinking 'oh this is how she likes IT.' scares the crap out of me.

I know that's not how I feel about sex scenes in other author's stories but I fear that's how what my friends/family will think after reading mine. I haven't written a scene yet but I know it's coming in the next book. I think I'll just get over my fear by letting all of you guys read it first. lol

Sarashay · Sep 11, 2012

*reaches down*

They feel fine, thanks.

Oh, wait, you meant in my writing. Funnily enough, I realized that the five people I'd sent the draft of my (now trunked) first novel had all seen me naked under one circumstance or another, so I didn't feel too uncomfortable about them reading the sex scenes.

I would feel kinda weird about my parents reading them, though. So it's probably for the best that it's trunked for now.

Vito · Sep 11, 2012

The title of this thread seems to be a double-entrendre, or whatever it's called. It reminds me of something that Benny Hill would have said on his old TV show.

KellyAssauer · Sep 11, 2012

Oh sure...
rub it in my face.

I don't have any naughty bits,
I'm not even anatomically correct.

kayleamay · Sep 11, 2012

*shakes water out of Kelly's plastic skull*

I don't write sex scenes because my son has begged me not to. His jaw about came unhinged just from discovering that hubs and I have sex...FOR FUN! I'll wait until they're a little older so they'll have the good sense to deny I'm their mother or will be too busy boinking their girlfriends to care.

KellyAssauer · Sep 11, 2012

*does this count for or against having our yearly conversation about your hubby's nubs?*

BeatrixKiddo · Sep 11, 2012

Meh, I don't worry about it. I've actually gotten compliments on sex scenes I've written in the past. But most of my writing doesn't involve sex scenes, so I don't get to write them often.

I try to avoid the "corn" factor like some of the scenes in some romance novels. I try to make scenes a bit more realistic. Seems to work for me.

B.G. Dobbins · Sep 11, 2012

Sarashay said:
*reaches down*

They feel fine, thanks.

Oh, wait, you meant in my writing...QUOTE]

Oh my, this thread just made my day. I can honestly type lol rofl! Umm, I broke the ice with my parents awhile back, and my friends are all pretty chillax about that sort of thing, but now my great aunt (who is an avid reader and has been recently informed about my writing endeavors) is telling me she is really excited and wants to read my work. About that, Auntie...

Transatlantic · Sep 12, 2012

I once gave my mother a copy of an article I'd written with a Post-It over a dirty bit. I can guess which part she read first!

I, too, am always sure people who know me will assume the sex scenes (and everything else!) in my novel is autobiographical - I guess we're a lot more likely to do so with the work of people we know.

Then again, thinking about sex and sex-related scenes (none graphic) in friends' published novels, I didn't. Hmm. Now I feel a little better!

KimJo · Sep 12, 2012

The characters in my adult romances have sex. Quite explicitly, and fairly frequently (depending on the book).

I tend to assume that anyone reading one of those books, given the genre, expects to find sex scenes. This applies whether they know me or not.

If they have a problem with explicit sex scenes, they probably shouldn't read a book that's billed as having a heat level 4 out of 5, or that I've told them has X-rated scenes in it. If they have a problem with *me* for writing those scenes, I don't actually have time for people like them in my life.

Yes, I can be a bit defensive... but I also reached the decision a while back not to let other people's opinions affect what I write and how I write it. (Except my editors and publishers. They get a vote.)

orion_mk3 · Sep 12, 2012

How do I feel about my naughty bits?

They're far too short.

How Do You Feel About Your Naughty Bits?

Should be writing!

Stealing your twiglets.

Stealing your twiglets.

Horror Man

Huh.

Hand? What hand?

Believe in yourself!

Hand? What hand?

Shut Up and Write

Recalled to life

The Anti-Magdalene

I'm on the phone.

The Anti-Magdalene

Is it summer yet???

Should be writing!

Outside the box, with the werewolves

Ne Cede Malis