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View Full Version : Do You Think You Could Respond To This? (Part II)



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Mary Mitchell
04-22-2017, 03:20 AM
Which is more nerve wracking, a fire drill or a dentist's drill?

Wahara
04-22-2017, 06:33 PM
Which is more nerve-wracking, the dentist's drill, or the bill?

Mary Mitchell
04-22-2017, 09:05 PM
Is the bill making an ear-splitting whine?

Nymtoc
04-23-2017, 04:11 AM
Does it make you whimper?

armydillo978
04-23-2017, 04:26 AM
Is whimpering bad?

Nymtoc
04-23-2017, 04:30 AM
Isn't it worse than simpering?

Mary Mitchell
04-23-2017, 05:19 AM
Isn't anything worse than simpering?

armydillo978
04-23-2017, 05:03 PM
I thought simpering was like simmering?

M.S. Wiggins
04-24-2017, 02:14 AM
Want to partner with me on a new restaurant venture called, The Simmering Whimper Simper, catering to teenagers?

Mary Mitchell
04-24-2017, 03:14 AM
Will you allow cell phones?

armydillo978
04-24-2017, 04:32 AM
Does that depend on if your in prison? Are they "special" pockets in the "back end"?

M.S. Wiggins
04-25-2017, 12:20 AM
Should we include a chivs-and-shanks-making booth?

CDSinex
04-25-2017, 02:14 AM
Could I get your recipe for lamb shanks brazed with Chivas?

Nymtoc
04-25-2017, 02:28 AM
Chivas Regal Extra or Chivas Regal Ultis?

Thekherham
04-25-2017, 02:28 AM
What are Chivas?

M.S. Wiggins
04-25-2017, 02:30 AM
Come here often?

Thekherham
04-25-2017, 02:54 AM
Are aliens supposed to be all-knowing?

M.S. Wiggins
04-25-2017, 03:06 AM
The 'first-contact' kind, or the revisiting tourist sort?

Matera the Mad
04-25-2017, 07:26 AM
You aren't planning to open a B&B for aliens, are you?

Thekherham
04-25-2017, 06:18 PM
Would you like to take me to your leader?

Mary Mitchell
04-25-2017, 06:51 PM
Is leader another word for apartment?

CDSinex
04-26-2017, 07:16 AM
Are you hitting on him?

Nymtoc
04-26-2017, 10:30 AM
Are aliens susceptible to human charms?

Curlz
04-26-2017, 03:50 PM
You think humans have charms?

Thekherham
04-26-2017, 10:28 PM
Would you like to meet someone really charming?

CDSinex
04-27-2017, 12:43 AM
You know the Lucky Charms' leprechaun?

Nymtoc
04-27-2017, 01:09 AM
No--could you introduce me?

Wahara
04-27-2017, 01:28 AM
Possibly, is your dignity important to you?

M.S. Wiggins
04-27-2017, 01:52 AM
Who needs dignity when egos spring palatial?

armydillo978
04-27-2017, 03:25 AM
"Palatial....is that like...you know...that thing in the mall that sells smoothies?"

Mary Mitchell
04-27-2017, 03:41 AM
Like the Lucky Charms leprechaun?

armydillo978
04-27-2017, 04:02 AM
Whoooooaaaa.....wasn't that leprechaun arrested for being drunk and disorderly at Thanksgiving Day parade?

Nymtoc
04-27-2017, 04:08 AM
Don't you mean the St. Patrick's Day parade?

Mary Mitchell
04-27-2017, 04:29 AM
Isn't drunk and disorderly an Oktoberfest Parade thing?

CDSinex
04-27-2017, 06:01 AM
If you're drunk enough to be disorderly, wouldn't you be too drunk to march in a parade?

Nymtoc
04-27-2017, 06:55 AM
Couldn't you ride on a float?

Thekherham
04-27-2017, 07:06 AM
Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?

possiblerobot
04-27-2017, 05:46 PM
What type of balloon is it?

Mary Mitchell
04-28-2017, 03:25 AM
Is it one of those balloon payments I've been warned about?

Nymtoc
04-28-2017, 03:41 AM
Were you warned that they may pop?

CDSinex
04-28-2017, 04:45 AM
Do they also snap, and crackle?

M.S. Wiggins
04-28-2017, 11:42 PM
Is it an insult if your cereal is silent?

CDSinex
04-29-2017, 02:45 AM
If you're hungover, wouldn't that be a blessing?

Mary Mitchell
04-29-2017, 05:24 AM
What if you eat your cereal before you have your coffee, and don't want anyone talking to you before your coffee?

CDSinex
04-29-2017, 10:45 PM
What if you're too hungover to eat?

Mary Mitchell
04-30-2017, 01:49 AM
If you're on a diet, wouldn't that be a good thing?

CDSinex
04-30-2017, 10:36 PM
Don't most medical professionals warn against skipping breakfast?

Mary Mitchell
04-30-2017, 11:03 PM
Does double double coffee count as breakfast?

Thekherham
05-01-2017, 11:38 PM
Would you like a double double donut?

M.S. Wiggins
05-02-2017, 12:44 AM
Does it come with a side of clogged arteries?

Curlz
05-02-2017, 02:56 AM
Is that what happened with cronuts?

Mary Mitchell
05-02-2017, 04:36 AM
Didn't they try to make those illegal, but Satanists said that would be religious discrimination because cronuts they were part of their communion ritual?

CDSinex
05-02-2017, 07:26 AM
Aren't cronuts part of a communist plot hatched by the Stalinists?

Nymtoc
05-02-2017, 08:01 AM
Would you give me $5 for a cronut right now?

CDSinex
05-02-2017, 10:28 PM
Will you lend me $5?

Nymtoc
05-03-2017, 12:33 AM
What makes you think I have $5?

Curlz
05-03-2017, 01:09 AM
Wasn't it your face I saw on the Most Wanted poster on that lamp post over there?

Mary Mitchell
05-03-2017, 01:10 AM
You trying to tell me this is the first time you've pulled this stunt?

M.S. Wiggins
05-03-2017, 01:40 AM
Is there a beginner’s stunt to help refine pulling techniques?

Curlz
05-03-2017, 01:57 AM
How would you like to sign-up for our We-Rob-Any-Bank apprenticeship program?

armydillo978
05-03-2017, 02:43 AM
Is this program covered by the FDIC (Federal Deposit Insurance Company), in case it's a scam?

CDSinex
05-03-2017, 06:05 AM
Isn't We-Rob-Any-Bank a degree program offered by Trump University?

Matera the Mad
05-03-2017, 09:23 AM
Is the Sunset-hued Snotgob who sleeps alone in the Whitehouse still running that scam?

armydillo978
05-04-2017, 04:41 PM
He has weird hair color. Isn't the President's mom an Umpa Lumpa?


:::::just for the record, I have to politicial affiliations one way or the other:::::

M.S. Wiggins
05-04-2017, 05:45 PM
(How could you insult an Oompa Loompa like that?!) Who's the baby-daddy?

Mary Mitchell
05-04-2017, 10:35 PM
Could even Putin not shudder?

Curlz
05-04-2017, 10:58 PM
Would that cause an earthquake?

CDSinex
05-05-2017, 03:15 AM
Are you suggesting Putin is Loki?

armydillo978
05-05-2017, 03:20 AM
Wasn't Loki one of the PowderPuff Dudes?

CDSinex
05-05-2017, 10:24 PM
Why don't you ask his father, Fárbauti?

armydillo978
05-06-2017, 12:34 AM
Wasn't his father away in national service for the Jotun Nation?

Mary Mitchell
05-06-2017, 01:41 AM
Is that the Jotun based on Mars or the Norwegian paint company?

CDSinex
05-07-2017, 12:03 AM
Did Jötunn, the Frost Giant, move to Mars because of global warming?

Mary Mitchell
05-07-2017, 01:01 AM
Didn't the Norwegian paint company get there first and "paint the town red"?

Matera the Mad
05-07-2017, 01:24 AM
Did they cover the red light zone?

Nymtoc
05-07-2017, 03:17 AM
Isn't the red light zone on the internet now?

armydillo978
05-07-2017, 05:22 AM
So, you can show use where the zones are when we come to NY....booyaaahhh....yes?

Nymtoc
05-07-2017, 07:16 PM
Are you prepared to pay my expert-guide-to-the-red-lights-and-much-much-more fee?

M.S. Wiggins
05-07-2017, 11:09 PM
Can I get a brief description of the 'much-much-more' section?

Nymtoc
05-08-2017, 12:02 AM
Don't you think I might run into trouble if I said more about the much-much-more publicly?

armydillo978
05-08-2017, 02:27 AM
Do you think Wiggins is researching for a future acting project on an Episode of SUV?

CDSinex
05-08-2017, 03:55 AM
Is that the show about off roading?

Mary Mitchell
05-08-2017, 04:09 AM
Or is it about Special Unit Victims?

CDSinex
05-12-2017, 03:19 AM
Is that about robots that attack humans?

Nymtoc
05-12-2017, 03:30 AM
How can we be sure robots aren't posting in this thread?

Mary Mitchell
05-12-2017, 04:50 AM
Is Possiblerobot under suspicion?

Perscribo
05-12-2017, 09:58 AM
Are robots immune to irony if made of iron?

Matera the Mad
05-12-2017, 10:22 PM
Have you steeled yourself for my snarky reply?

Nymtoc
05-12-2017, 10:36 PM
Are you using Google Chrome?

CDSinex
05-13-2017, 12:36 AM
Are we going to zinc to puns again?

Mary Mitchell
05-13-2017, 02:53 AM
Do I need to sic a copper on you?

Nymtoc
05-13-2017, 03:35 AM
Are you going to continue this metallic nonsense through thick and tin?

armydillo978
05-13-2017, 11:37 PM
Is this what they call irony?

CDSinex
05-13-2017, 11:41 PM
Do you think we should take a break, and watch Plomb Bob SquarePants?

Nymtoc
05-13-2017, 11:49 PM
Is there a silver lining to all this?

armydillo978
05-14-2017, 12:03 AM
Unless it's a gold lining, what do you think?

Nymtoc
05-14-2017, 12:18 AM
Isn't this thread starting to look like a lead balloon?

M.S. Wiggins
05-14-2017, 01:36 AM
Want to bet on which one of the 99 lead balloons go ‘bye’?

armydillo978
05-14-2017, 02:06 AM
Isn't lead bad for you health?

Nymtoc
05-14-2017, 02:16 AM
Is it worse for your health than uranium?

Mary Mitchell
05-14-2017, 02:40 AM
Is uranium from Uranus?

Matera the Mad
05-14-2017, 07:39 AM
Did you just pull that one out of Uranus?

Nymtoc
05-14-2017, 09:08 AM
Aren't you being rather banal?

Matera the Mad
05-14-2017, 10:36 PM
Would you rather I b oral?

armydillo978
05-15-2017, 02:15 AM
Are you making a refrence?

Nymtoc
05-15-2017, 02:19 AM
Are you making a suggestion?

armydillo978
05-15-2017, 02:26 AM
Sir, does the questioning of the commission make you worried about possible irregularities in your statements?

Nymtoc
05-15-2017, 02:32 AM
Are you aware that, if you persist in these irritating questions, you could be fired?

armydillo978
05-15-2017, 02:36 AM
Do you think the concept of being fired......once again....worries me?

Nymtoc
05-15-2017, 03:13 AM
In that case, am I to assume that you are independently wealthy?

Mary Mitchell
05-15-2017, 04:44 AM
Or are you simply oblivious to the complaints of those on whose couches you crash--you, with your smelly socks on the afghan and your 2:00 a.m. refrigerator raids?

armydillo978
05-15-2017, 05:42 AM
Hey now....are you saying I have smelly socks? And that it's me raiding the fridge....and not the raccoons?

Nymtoc
05-15-2017, 06:15 AM
Would you care to withdraw your ridiculous claim about the raccoons?

CDSinex
05-15-2017, 06:59 AM
Why do you care if he cares on not?

Nymtoc
05-15-2017, 11:16 AM
Why do you care if I care if he cares?

armydillo978
05-15-2017, 09:56 PM
Don't the raccoons care?

Nymtoc
05-15-2017, 10:00 PM
Have you spoken with them lately?

armydillo978
05-15-2017, 10:28 PM
No...I haven't....but isn't the Trump appointed Commissions of Intervention Possums acting as go betweens?

Nymtoc
05-15-2017, 11:25 PM
How much confidence do you have in the Trump appointed Commissions of Intervention Possums?

armydillo978
05-16-2017, 01:14 AM
Aren't possums generally honest critters?

Nymtoc
05-16-2017, 01:40 AM
I don't know. Can you give possums a polygraph test?

Matera the Mad
05-16-2017, 02:00 AM
Don't possums lie still and pretend they're dead?

Mary Mitchell
05-16-2017, 04:05 AM
Isn't pretending lying by definition?

Matera the Mad
05-16-2017, 07:35 AM
Then aren't all authors liars?

Nymtoc
05-16-2017, 08:08 AM
What if they write true stories?

CDSinex
05-16-2017, 09:43 PM
That is truth?

M.S. Wiggins
05-17-2017, 02:02 AM
Isn't the truth 'flexible'... in a bendy yoga-pose kind of way?

Matera the Mad
05-17-2017, 02:05 AM
Isn't that called "Alternate Truth?"

Nymtoc
05-17-2017, 02:17 AM
You mean the kind of truth you find in "alternate facts"?

Mary Mitchell
05-17-2017, 06:01 AM
Do alternate facts imply, ipso facto, alternate universes?

Pony.
05-18-2017, 01:28 AM
Are you sure we aren't in an alternate universe and it's the other one that's real?

Nymtoc
05-18-2017, 01:32 AM
Is anything real?

Pony.
05-18-2017, 02:02 AM
Before I answer that, how do I know you're not a fed?

Nymtoc
05-18-2017, 02:33 AM
Doesn't my smile tell you how honest and aboveboard I am?

armydillo978
05-18-2017, 03:43 AM
Is that a smile, or a crack?

Theodore Koukouvitis
05-18-2017, 03:58 AM
Can you smile a crack as you crack a smile?

armydillo978
05-18-2017, 05:05 AM
Do you need to be a crack to crack a smile?

Theodore Koukouvitis
05-18-2017, 05:31 AM
Don't you have to be on crack?

Nymtoc
05-18-2017, 05:53 AM
If you're on crack, do you have to pay the piper?

armydillo978
05-18-2017, 05:57 AM
Is that the Pied Piper or Rowdy Roddy Piper?

Nymtoc
05-18-2017, 07:04 AM
Isn't it Peter Piper, the dude who picked a peck of particularly pungent pickled peppers?

armydillo978
05-19-2017, 02:53 AM
Are pickled peppers punget as people say?

Matera the Mad
05-19-2017, 03:25 AM
Are we also playing the take-away-a-letter game?
:ROFL:

armydillo978
05-19-2017, 03:27 AM
Is Madera the Mat suggesting something?

Mary Mitchell
05-20-2017, 01:13 AM
Are you being suggestive?

Pony.
05-20-2017, 03:21 AM
Is Matera going to be mad at armydillo for changing her name to 'the mat'?

armydillo978
05-20-2017, 03:25 AM
Did Billy Idol write his song Pony Pony about Pony?

Pony.
05-20-2017, 03:31 AM
The question is did Billy Idol really write the song?

CDSinex
05-20-2017, 03:37 AM
Are Billy Idol fans idolaters?

armydillo978
05-20-2017, 03:43 AM
They worship idol taters?

Pony.
05-20-2017, 04:00 AM
Would those be moshed taters?

armydillo978
05-20-2017, 05:48 AM
Are they served in a pit?

Matera the Mad
05-20-2017, 07:09 AM
Would that be during a pit stop?

Pony.
05-20-2017, 07:44 AM
Who stops in a pit?

CDSinex
05-20-2017, 09:26 AM
Doesn't Brad?

armydillo978
05-20-2017, 03:52 PM
Didn't Brad escape that pit?

Nymtoc
05-20-2017, 09:59 PM
You mean the one with the pendulum?

armydillo978
05-20-2017, 10:31 PM
The pendulum in the cradle of life?

Curlz
05-20-2017, 11:14 PM
You mean somebody replaced the baby with a pendulum?

Mary Mitchell
05-21-2017, 12:06 AM
Wasn't that Rosemary's baby?

armydillo978
05-21-2017, 12:22 AM
Rosemary had a baby? Did she know about it?

Nymtoc
05-21-2017, 02:07 AM
Did the baby's father know about it?

Matera the Mad
05-21-2017, 02:12 AM
Who's your daddy?

armydillo978
05-21-2017, 02:37 AM
Wasn't the baby dady Sane, not Mad?

Pony.
05-21-2017, 04:56 PM
Isn't dady spelled daddy?

armydillo978
05-21-2017, 06:50 PM
After Pony was released from his contract with Billy Idol did he become a spell checker? Hmmmmm.

Nymtoc
05-21-2017, 07:11 PM
Isn't he working with Iggy Pop now?

CDSinex
05-21-2017, 10:35 PM
In Philadelphia isn't he called Iggy Soda?

armydillo978
05-21-2017, 11:39 PM
Isn't Iggy Soda banned in New York if he's over 14 oz?

Mary Mitchell
05-22-2017, 01:19 AM
How many oz of Iggy Soda do you typically add to scotch?

M.S. Wiggins
05-22-2017, 01:36 AM
Depends on the patron... is 'soda' a 'splash', or code for Drambuie?

Matera the Mad
05-22-2017, 07:40 AM
Do ye hae a wee dram o' Drambuie?

Nymtoc
05-22-2017, 07:45 AM
Doesn't it depend on whether you're taking the high road or the low road?

Pony.
05-22-2017, 07:49 AM
Is that the road less traveled?

Nymtoc
05-22-2017, 05:07 PM
Isn't that the road that's frosted over?

Pony.
05-22-2017, 05:28 PM
Wasn't your mother-in-law the one who was frosted over?

armydillo978
05-23-2017, 01:03 AM
Did you take her parka again?

CDSinex
05-23-2017, 10:17 AM
Why, was there valet parkaing?

Nymtoc
05-23-2017, 10:41 AM
Who's their valet?

Curlz
05-23-2017, 12:50 PM
And why doesn't that rhyme with ballet?

armydillo978
05-23-2017, 04:58 PM
Isn't that only for valet's with toupee's working at ballets?

Nymtoc
05-23-2017, 05:57 PM
What if they're driving a Chevrolet?

armydillo978
05-23-2017, 06:31 PM
Didn't they drive the Chevy to the levy that was dry?

Nymtoc
05-23-2017, 06:42 PM
You mean them good ol' boys?

armydillo978
05-24-2017, 01:04 AM
Boys will be boys, unless they're girls, or in the process of becoming girls......or boys who were girls. It's confusing at times.

Matera the Mad
05-24-2017, 05:49 AM
How confused are you?

Nymtoc
05-24-2017, 08:05 AM
Was he too confused to end his post with a question mark?

CDSinex
05-24-2017, 09:33 PM
¿What's a question mark, or two, between friends?

M.S. Wiggins
05-24-2017, 10:28 PM
If ¿? appears vaguely 69-suggestive, what must ⸘‽ mean?

Nymtoc
05-24-2017, 10:33 PM
Aren't you forgetting ¡! ?

Jason
05-24-2017, 10:44 PM
Isn't that a sign of too much free time on your hands?

Mary Mitchell
05-25-2017, 02:20 AM
Isn't time on my side?

Lavern08
05-25-2017, 02:22 AM
Yes it is, but what's that on your back?

Mary Mitchell
05-25-2017, 02:40 AM
Could it be a monkey?

Curlz
05-25-2017, 02:44 AM
Isn't that funky?

Matera the Mad
05-25-2017, 06:08 AM
Whazzat, Bunky?

Nymtoc
05-25-2017, 07:16 AM
Did somebody say, "Junkie"?

Jason
05-25-2017, 07:27 AM
Is that better or worse than a flunkie?

Pony.
05-25-2017, 08:15 AM
What could be worse than being an intern?

Nymtoc
05-25-2017, 09:22 AM
An outturn?

CDSinex
05-25-2017, 09:34 AM
Is that a kind of belly button?

Nymtoc
05-25-2017, 11:38 AM
Which came first, the belly or the button?

Jason
05-25-2017, 10:24 PM
Isn't that supposed to be the chicken or the egg?

Pony.
05-25-2017, 11:17 PM
Wasn't it the frying pan?

Curlz
05-26-2017, 12:06 AM
Is it breakfast time?

Nymtoc
05-26-2017, 12:12 AM
Yeah, you want gravy 'n biscuits or gravy 'n grits?

CDSinex
05-26-2017, 02:23 AM
What grit sandpaper would you use to remove varnish from an old oak table?

noirdood
05-26-2017, 02:27 AM
True Grit, of course. Course rather than fine, do you understand?

Mary Mitchell
05-26-2017, 03:28 AM
Would you categorize John Wayne as coarse or fine?

noirdood
05-26-2017, 03:31 AM
The Duke was from Iowa, as I am, so he was just fine.

Pony.
05-26-2017, 03:33 AM
Are you going to dig him up?

Matera the Mad
05-26-2017, 06:25 AM
Isn't that a grave undertaking?

CDSinex
05-26-2017, 10:31 PM
Wasn't he dying to be buried?

Nymtoc
05-26-2017, 10:37 PM
Should we be singing a dirge?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 01:22 AM
You think the world is recovered enough from the last time to hear you sing again?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 01:26 AM
But I have a fantastic voice--would you like me to come over and sing to you?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 01:30 AM
Oh dear sweet God no. Why would you do something so sadistic?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 01:36 AM
Are you trying to hurt my feelings?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 01:41 AM
Who, me?

Lavern08
05-27-2017, 01:42 AM
Is Nymtoc wearing his heart on his sleeve again?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 01:49 AM
Isn't it obvious?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 03:27 AM
Isn't that sleeve getting kinda gross?

Mary Mitchell
05-27-2017, 03:32 AM
Has he been wiping his nose on it, too?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 03:38 AM
Does he still do that?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 04:04 AM
Has anyone actually seen me do that? Huh?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 04:33 AM
In the past 20 minutes?

Matera the Mad
05-27-2017, 04:43 AM
It's been that long?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 05:22 AM
How long is that long?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 07:09 AM
When was the last time you could bend that sleeve without cracking it?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 07:57 AM
Isn't that because the laundry put starch in it?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 11:32 AM
Did you ask for starch?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 05:24 PM
Don't I always ask for starch?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 07:06 PM
How would I know? Do I look like I run a laundry service?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 07:21 PM
With that avatar, don't you look more like you run a shroud service?

Pony.
05-27-2017, 09:18 PM
I'm more of a collections agent. You can't provide your own shroud?

Nymtoc
05-27-2017, 10:14 PM
Can't I get by without one?

CDSinex
05-27-2017, 10:19 PM
Wouldn't two be one too many?

Nymtoc
05-28-2017, 01:25 AM
Would I need a shroud if I go for cryonics?

Pony.
05-28-2017, 04:26 AM
You don't really believe that crap do you? Have they revived a single mammal?

Nymtoc
05-28-2017, 05:37 AM
I can hope, can't I?

Matera the Mad
05-28-2017, 06:37 AM
Can you?

M.S. Wiggins
05-28-2017, 11:41 PM
Are you thinking all his hope is lost?

CDSinex
05-28-2017, 11:51 PM
What makes you think he ever had any in the first place?

Nymtoc
05-29-2017, 12:24 AM
Why don't you ask him (me)?

Matera the Mad
05-29-2017, 06:06 AM
He who what?

Pony.
05-29-2017, 07:11 AM
Which?

Nymtoc
05-29-2017, 07:23 AM
Where?

CDSinex
05-29-2017, 09:47 AM
Where else?

Nymtoc
05-29-2017, 10:37 AM
Who cares?

Pony.
05-29-2017, 04:39 PM
What were we talking about again?