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View Full Version : Do You Think You Could Respond To This? (Part II)



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WriterWho
06-27-2013, 08:27 AM
:roll: Are you guys trying to kill me here?

LA*78
06-27-2013, 08:30 AM
Do you really think we would try to do that?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 08:38 AM
Who, us?

WriterWho
06-27-2013, 08:52 AM
Do you know my heart glows that much brighter when y'all are at it?





Yeah, that was mushy. Get over it.

>compass<
06-27-2013, 08:55 AM
Do you realize how many people die of heart burn every year?

LA*78
06-27-2013, 08:56 AM
So voyeurism's your kink then?

WriterWho
06-27-2013, 08:59 AM
May I plead the fifth?

LA*78
06-27-2013, 09:01 AM
Wasn't that conversation a few pages back?

WriterWho
06-27-2013, 09:10 AM
*pause in the game* I can't get the link to go through right here, but my book - OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG - is officially on the webz for pre-order! *restarts game*

Can't I still plead the fifth?

Drachen Jager
06-27-2013, 09:34 AM
Can I go back a few and ask if LA really thinks WW only has one kink?

LA*78
06-27-2013, 09:50 AM
Do you think we're all as perverted as you?

Drachen Jager
06-27-2013, 09:52 AM
Aren't you all more perverted than me?

LA*78
06-27-2013, 09:54 AM
Why is it I can't decide whether to be flattered or offended?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 07:14 PM
Would you believe I found a pic of DJ as a child online???

http://pegitboard.com/pin/75f5a325280e4f8d8402d0300e9da4f7

*hands Who a towel*

LA*78
06-27-2013, 07:17 PM
:roll: How funny is that?!

Liralen
06-27-2013, 07:38 PM
What would we do without our resident land narwhal to pick on?

Jehhillenberg
06-27-2013, 08:15 PM
Think pure thoughts?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 08:21 PM
Are you serious? :D

Jehhillenberg
06-27-2013, 08:23 PM
Did he wear a strap-on on his head? :D

Liralen
06-27-2013, 08:25 PM
How many people have you met that made you wonder if they were wearing a strap on head?

iLion
06-27-2013, 08:28 PM
Have you never met some of our gov't "officials"?

Jehhillenberg
06-27-2013, 08:31 PM
Haha, what are you trying to say, iLion?

iLion
06-27-2013, 08:34 PM
Should I just come out and say it plain, as in "many of our elected officials are dick-heads?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 08:34 PM
Or pricks with ears?

Jehhillenberg
06-27-2013, 08:39 PM
They have ears?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 08:40 PM
Haven't you ever heard of "pricked ears?"

Drachen Jager
06-27-2013, 08:40 PM
What's wrong with wearing a strap-on on your head?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 08:45 PM
You know you can find ANYTHING on Etsy?

ROFL http://www.etsy.com/listing/122304373/unicorn-horn-dildo-handblown-glass-made?ref=sr_gallery_2&ga_search_query=unicorn+dildo&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

Jehhillenberg
06-27-2013, 08:46 PM
That doesn't vibrate, does it? Just shines and looks pretty?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 08:53 PM
One would hope, wouldn't one?

*nice touch, lol . . . "handblown glass"*

Drachen Jager
06-27-2013, 09:13 PM
Ooh, so should I put you all down for one on the Christmas list?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 09:15 PM
Are you planning on delivering your Christmas gifts personally?

Jehhillenberg
06-27-2013, 09:23 PM
Is he trying to add "Santa" to his growing list of nicknames?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 10:01 PM
Notice he's gotten quiet all of a sudden?

Drachen Jager
06-27-2013, 10:30 PM
Well, of course I can't be here all the time, I have to do some Etsy shopping, don't I?

Liralen
06-27-2013, 10:36 PM
So you're not a multi-tasker?

Drachen Jager
06-27-2013, 10:41 PM
I'm already wearing a dildo on my head, how many tasks do you think I can do at once?

Jehhillenberg
06-27-2013, 11:51 PM
Do we really want to know what tasks you may be doing right now? :D


Since you're strapped on/up and ready to go

WriterWho
06-27-2013, 11:52 PM
*snort* Do we really need to name them off?






*struts* Check out the links in my sig line (more to come as I get them).

LA*78
06-28-2013, 01:26 AM
You know you can find ANYTHING on Etsy?

ROFL http://www.etsy.com/listing/122304373/unicorn-horn-dildo-handblown-glass-made?ref=sr_gallery_2&ga_search_query=unicorn+dildo&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

Did you see this comes in rainbow?

JoBird
06-28-2013, 02:31 AM
What are you doing with that icicle strapped on your head?

Jehhillenberg
06-28-2013, 05:01 AM
For someone to mistake it for a Popsicle?

LA*78
06-28-2013, 05:04 AM
Have you been sniffing glue again?

Jehhillenberg
06-28-2013, 05:05 AM
Do you think I listen when people say "don't do that?"

Drachen Jager
06-28-2013, 05:32 AM
I'm sorry, I had a dildo in my ear, can you say that again?

LA*78
06-28-2013, 05:41 AM
Can you only hear from one ear? Would it make more sense to stick the dildo in the other ear if it's deaf?

WriterWho
06-28-2013, 06:41 AM
Don't you know you're not supposed to stick anything in your ears?

LA*78
06-28-2013, 06:42 AM
Isn't it 'nothing smaller than your elbow' as a general rule? Perhaps he has a little elbow?

LA*78
06-28-2013, 08:02 AM
Ooh, so should I put you all down for one on the Christmas list?

Hang on a minute, how did I miss this? Is DJ buying us all Christmas presents?

WriterWho
06-28-2013, 08:53 AM
:( Where was mine last year?

Drachen Jager
06-28-2013, 09:20 AM
Did you follow the conversation to see what I'm getting you for next year?

LA*78
06-28-2013, 09:27 AM
Doesn't that ruin the surprise a little?

Drachen Jager
06-28-2013, 09:35 AM
Well there's a variety to choose from, isn't there?

Liralen
06-28-2013, 09:37 AM
Have you ever googled "unicorning?"

Drachen Jager
06-28-2013, 09:40 AM
Will I regret it if I do?

WriterWho
06-28-2013, 09:44 AM
Well, what was the verdict?

Jehhillenberg
06-28-2013, 09:54 AM
Can Drachen now check "unicorning" off his to-do list?

LA*78
06-28-2013, 10:00 AM
Ummm do you think they forgot the canned laughter to let people know when to laugh in this 'unicorning' video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4rfBpSlASM)?

Liralen
06-28-2013, 10:15 AM
Is that how you get brain freeze?

WriterWho
06-28-2013, 06:53 PM
That's probably not a "work friendly" video, is it?

Drachen Jager
06-28-2013, 08:05 PM
If that's NSFW then you should find a new workplace, shouldn't you?

It's pretty tame, and shockingly, coming from LA, it's not sexual in nature.

WriterWho
06-28-2013, 09:01 PM
Where would you suggest I work?

:popcorn:

Liralen
06-28-2013, 09:02 PM
Probably not McDonald's?

WriterWho
06-28-2013, 09:17 PM
You think I'd eat all of their food? :popcorn:

iLion
06-28-2013, 09:20 PM
Would you at least give some to me?

Liralen
06-28-2013, 09:28 PM
Would you believe Kharma, my dog, won't eat McDonald's food?

Robbert
06-28-2013, 10:04 PM
Does that mean you end up eating it?

LA*78
06-29-2013, 01:54 AM
Don't you think dog food would be a cheaper and more nutritious option for Kharma the dog?

Liralen
06-29-2013, 06:43 AM
Ever really done any research on most dog foods?

*but still, when the dog -- who, incidentally noshed on a groundhog she caught today (her version of fast food, just not fast enough) -- won't eat McDonald's food . . . pretty scary, and I haven't eaten anything from McD's since*

LA*78
06-29-2013, 07:15 AM
Did you know, McDonalds Aust had to change the recipe of their burger buns, because the one used had so much sugar they were classified as confectionery?

I think there are some pretty big differences between McDonalds Aust. and the version in the US. The food here, while not the best nutritional choice, is actually good quality. The burgers are 100% beef from local sources and doesn't contain fillers. They got rid of the super sweet bread. About the only thing you'd really question is the plastic-style cheese.

Steve Coate
06-29-2013, 07:44 AM
Is it really a good idea to order food from someplace where it is prepared by angst-ridden teens?

And hopefully not sparkly vampires.

Liralen
06-29-2013, 08:08 AM
How 'bout that "special sauce?"

WriterWho
06-29-2013, 12:41 PM
*puke* Anyone else have a horrible image of a "special added sauce"?

LA*78
06-30-2013, 04:44 AM
Who would have thought special sauce could kill a thread?

Steve Coate
06-30-2013, 06:30 AM
Could it be a sauce with a particular skill set from the Epicurean Special Forces?

Liralen
06-30-2013, 07:10 AM
Jerk sauce?

WriterWho
06-30-2013, 07:18 AM
How does one make 'jerk sauce'?

Steve Coate
06-30-2013, 07:29 AM
Wouldn't one need the proper equipment?

WriterWho
06-30-2013, 07:39 AM
What would that be?

LA*78
06-30-2013, 08:59 AM
PPE - personal protective equipment?

WriterWho
06-30-2013, 06:56 PM
Like a helmet?

Liralen
06-30-2013, 08:48 PM
Gloves?

LA*78
07-01-2013, 01:24 AM
Raincoat?

Steve Coate
07-01-2013, 01:24 AM
Fire hose?

LA*78
07-01-2013, 01:37 AM
Expecting fire-inducing friction?

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 02:02 AM
Shouldn't we always?

LA*78
07-01-2013, 02:04 AM
Can we get some hot firies on standby?

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 02:14 AM
Like packaging them up in a magical plastic bag to save for a rainy day?

LA*78
07-01-2013, 02:17 AM
Can't they just follow us around 'til they're needed?

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 02:24 AM
Wouldn't that be a wee-bit creepy?


*unless there's freckles, of course

Laiceps
07-01-2013, 04:38 AM
Did I ruin the game?

LA*78
07-01-2013, 05:24 AM
Did you extinguish the flame before the hot firies could whip out their hoses?


patiently awaits the horny unicorn's arrival...

Liralen
07-01-2013, 08:03 AM
Are you still waiting on the hornicorn or has he already come and gone?

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 08:14 AM
*snickers* Isn't that his usual: come and gone?

Liralen
07-01-2013, 08:16 AM
How would I know; wouldn't you have to ask LA? :D

LA*78
07-01-2013, 08:25 AM
Isn't he probably off singing 'O Canada' and being all patriotic?

And wouldn't WW know better than me? Isn't she the one who needs a fresh towel every few pages? ;)

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 08:34 AM
:roll:


We never did get a clean towel, did we?

LA*78
07-01-2013, 08:42 AM
Did you at least wash (sterilise) the old one?

Liralen
07-01-2013, 09:01 AM
Maybe it's time to burn it?

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 09:03 AM
But didn't the gloves already get used once on this page?

Liralen
07-01-2013, 09:08 AM
Don't we buy them by the box?

LA*78
07-01-2013, 09:10 AM
Can you imagine the toxic fumes?

Did we scare off another newcomer?

LA*78
07-01-2013, 05:47 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v308/appleseeds/Bacon/1000082_520116934729020_1302397931_n_zps900de927.j pg

WTF?

Liralen
07-01-2013, 07:12 PM
Is this our DJ?

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m110/Renee750il/gifs/396869_330878380329958_1008258091_n_zps23abaed7.jp g (http://s102.photobucket.com/user/Renee750il/media/gifs/396869_330878380329958_1008258091_n_zps23abaed7.jp g.html)

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 07:20 PM
:ROFL: Perhaps...hmm...that should become his new avvie?

Liralen
07-01-2013, 08:23 PM
Is this another DG sighting? http://teapartyanimal.com.au/2011/10/lets-salute-people-dressed-as-unicorns/west-hollywood-halloween-costume-carnival/

Robbert
07-01-2013, 08:40 PM
Do you think DJ had his costume designed by Dolce & Gabbana?

Liralen
07-01-2013, 08:55 PM
LOL! Looks like a typo, doesn't it, or is it Deviant and Gaga (as in Lady)?

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 09:42 PM
Is it scary I could actually imagine him doing something like that under the heavy influence of alcohol?

Liralen
07-01-2013, 11:00 PM
You think it would take alcohol? Really?

WriterWho
07-01-2013, 11:16 PM
Perhaps moonshine?





*lol I just noticed you and I are really close to the same post count. I knew we joined right around the same time, but I hadn't noticed that! :) *

Robbert
07-01-2013, 11:57 PM
Is 'moonshine' what it is in Scandinavia (90% vol. alcohol)?

LA*78
07-02-2013, 03:11 AM
Is this our DJ?

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m110/Renee750il/gifs/396869_330878380329958_1008258091_n_zps23abaed7.jp g (http://s102.photobucket.com/user/Renee750il/media/gifs/396869_330878380329958_1008258091_n_zps23abaed7.jp g.html)

I don't really have anything to add, but this was worth a repeat... do you think he'd autograph a copy for me?

Liralen
07-02-2013, 06:26 AM
Do you really think there's a standard alcohol content on the real moonshine?

LA*78
07-02-2013, 12:40 PM
Liralen, do you know how many hours of procrastination you have caused me?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v308/appleseeds/Bacon/3s7kq4_zps3586f787.jpg

WriterWho
07-02-2013, 04:00 PM
:ROFL: Was it worth it?

LA*78
07-02-2013, 04:06 PM
Well, as if that wasn't enough, how great is this?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v308/appleseeds/Bacon/nphunicorn_zpsfbd712d1.jpg

WriterWho
07-02-2013, 04:08 PM
Oh my...*snickers*...isn't the sun shining behind him a nicely added touch?

LA*78
07-02-2013, 04:09 PM
Well isn't his behind the source of sunshine?

Robbert
07-02-2013, 05:19 PM
Wouldn't it be time for you, LA*78, to stock up on some moonshine in the sunshine?

LA*78
07-02-2013, 05:26 PM
How nice would it be to have some sunshine after all this rain?

Though not right now because it's the middle of the night.

Also, if you were wondering, not a drop of moonshine would be needed by me if NPH were to ride his unicorn into my loungeroom. Can't say the same for NPH though, given I'm not quite his type...

Robbert
07-02-2013, 06:41 PM
After all that rain, what are you hoping for when you go to bed tonight: To have sweet dreams? Sunny dreams? Dry dreams?

...gone. Okay, LA*78, have sweet dreams under the waning moonlight.

LA*78
07-02-2013, 06:45 PM
Were they my only options?

Liralen
07-02-2013, 07:18 PM
Waterfall dreams?

LA*78
07-02-2013, 07:25 PM
Is that what you guys call them?

Liralen
07-02-2013, 07:52 PM
Call what?

talkwrite
07-03-2013, 12:33 AM
Does she get a repeat?

Robbert
07-03-2013, 12:45 AM
Isn't she asleep? But let's say it stays wet in Australia and they'll experience gushing waterfalls for the first time, maybe then their terminology changes?

LA*78
07-03-2013, 12:46 AM
When NPH is involved, doesn't everyone's terminology change?

Liralen
07-03-2013, 05:11 AM
NPH? Nihilistic Prudish Hordes?

LA*78
07-03-2013, 05:50 AM
Could someone please find me an emoticon that adequately expresses my displeasure in Liralen's above comments regarding my alternate reality husband, Mr Neil Patrick Harris?

Steve Coate
07-03-2013, 06:14 AM
Perhaps this will do? :mob

LA*78
07-03-2013, 06:16 AM
What do you think those little guys are saying?

Steve Coate
07-03-2013, 06:27 AM
Maybe "Legen-wait for it-dary?"

LA*78
07-03-2013, 06:28 AM
You don't think it's more of a 'challenge accepted' kind of moment?

Liralen
07-03-2013, 06:48 AM
You mean little Dr. Doogie?

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m110/Renee750il/51AYBDZNB5L_zpsaa67fb4b.jpg (http://s102.photobucket.com/user/Renee750il/media/51AYBDZNB5L_zpsaa67fb4b.jpg.html)

WriterWho
07-03-2013, 07:09 AM
Dude...he hasn't changed much at all, has he?

LA*78
07-03-2013, 08:01 AM
I prefer to think of him as Dr Horrible - didn't you recognise him on the unicorn?

on a side note, god I loved Vinnie when that show was on!

Liralen
07-03-2013, 08:05 PM
Ever wonder if Doogie did too?

iLion
07-03-2013, 08:10 PM
Doogie did 2?

Liralen
07-04-2013, 06:38 AM
But did Doogie Do Dallas?

LA*78
07-04-2013, 06:40 AM
I'm not sure - would that have been before or after Debbie?

WriterWho
07-04-2013, 06:55 AM
Debbie in Dallas or Debbie and Dallas? And wouldn't that be much more interesting plot if they weren't in agreement?

LA*78
07-04-2013, 07:04 AM
Dallas? Dallas? Who the f*&k is Dallas?

Matera the Mad
07-04-2013, 08:06 AM
Isn't it a "where"?

Liralen
07-04-2013, 08:09 AM
Speaking of which, where is Who and what is she doing?

Matera the Mad
07-04-2013, 08:19 AM
Isn't Who on first?

Liralen
07-04-2013, 08:32 AM
Why?

Matera the Mad
07-04-2013, 10:31 AM
Wasn't Why the shortstop?

Liralen
07-04-2013, 07:41 PM
Why would Who stop short?

LA*78
07-05-2013, 05:58 AM
Would that be one of her signature femdom punishment techniques?

Steve Coate
07-05-2013, 06:20 AM
Does that work well?

LA*78
07-05-2013, 06:31 AM
Can't say it's my area of expertise sorry, can you?

Steve Coate
07-05-2013, 06:39 AM
There are many things I can say, and wouldn't you know that isn't one of them?

Liralen
07-05-2013, 07:07 AM
Well, what can you say?

WriterWho
07-05-2013, 07:08 AM
Shall I stop it short? :roll:

Liralen
07-05-2013, 07:13 AM
Is it already short?

LA*78
07-05-2013, 07:15 AM
Is it better to pull up short or go long?

WriterWho
07-05-2013, 07:15 AM
Do I really need to answer that?

LA*78
07-05-2013, 07:17 AM
Can't going long sometimes become tedious?

WriterWho
07-05-2013, 07:19 AM
Doesn't it depend on how great the ending is?


(seriously. where the hell is the prickly unicorn? i'm starting to get worried about him.)

LA*78
07-05-2013, 07:22 AM
Is there anything worse than a crappy ending?

He's ok - just in hiding while he awaits query replies. Or so he says. I guess there's a chance he went and got more interesting friends. Unlikely though.

Liralen
07-05-2013, 07:24 AM
A pouty unicorn?

LA*78
07-05-2013, 07:26 AM
How do you tell if a unicorn is pouting?

WriterWho
07-05-2013, 07:34 AM
Would the magical cupcake poo turn grey?

Liralen
07-05-2013, 12:12 PM
Would that count as pouting or a crappy ending?

WriterWho
07-05-2013, 06:46 PM
:roll:


Perhaps a crappy ending that makes everyone pout...or pinch their nose?

Liralen
07-05-2013, 08:15 PM
Ever hear the expression, "that's enough to gag a maggot?"

WriterWho
07-05-2013, 08:57 PM
Wouldn't that have to be p-r-e-t-t-y bad?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 06:34 AM
Awww, did you all miss me?

Combination of querying, out of town for a few days and a wrecked finger kept me from the keyboard for a while.

LA*78
07-06-2013, 06:53 AM
Who are you again?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 07:15 AM
You know, the guy, with the thing?

Liralen
07-06-2013, 07:18 AM
Aren't they all?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 07:35 AM
Are you objectifying men again?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 07:38 AM
Only the ones in tutus - that was the 'thing' wasn't it?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 07:42 AM
Of course it was, do you want to guess what colour I have on tonight?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 07:47 AM
Would that be for my entertainment or yours?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 07:51 AM
Aren't you capable of sharing pleasure with another person?

Liralen
07-06-2013, 07:53 AM
When does it all become too, too much?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 07:54 AM
Isn't there some sort of release valve mechanism built in to humans?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 07:56 AM
Have you gone from excitement to flatulence?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 08:01 AM
Is that what you do when you get too excited?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 08:04 AM
So we are here for my excitement?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 08:09 AM
Haven't I always been at your service?

Liralen
07-06-2013, 08:11 AM
Is that service with a simile?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 08:17 AM
Like - helpful as tits on a bull?

I watched Barnyard with the kids the other day, and not only were there male cows(?) but those "cows" had udders. Obviously no-one ran that story by someone with a functioning brain...

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 08:17 AM
Did you know there's a contest for bad sex similes?

"Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her,"

LA*78
07-06-2013, 08:19 AM
Where is this contest? And why are they competing for bad sex?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 08:27 AM
Would you believe I'm still looking for the source because I can only find excerpts?

I got the name wrong too, it's the Bad Sex in Fiction Prize, but I can't find a good list of winners and nominees yet.

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 08:30 AM
Oh, would you believe it's on the Literary Review, a pay-site?

But a good collection of nominees are here (http://shelf-life.ew.com/2012/11/20/bad-sex-in-fiction-award-2012-shortlist/2/).

Liralen
07-06-2013, 08:34 AM
Does this help? http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/badsexaward

LA*78
07-06-2013, 08:35 AM
Yes - would you believe I googled?

How do you respond to a 4yr old when they ask, "Mummy, who is my real Daddy?"
(when in fact their real daddy is out mowing the lawn and has lived with them their entire life :roll:)

Liralen
07-06-2013, 08:38 AM
Go ask your daddy when he's done with the lawn?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 08:39 AM
How does that mess with his head?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 08:41 AM
Whose head, the kid or the dad?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 08:46 AM
Does it matter which?

Oh wow, some of these passages are just brilliant! This is one describing girl-on-girl with strap on, as watched by a guy. I think.
" It was as if she were wearing a mask on her genitals, a weird totem mask, that made her into what she was not and was not supposed to be. She could as well have been a crow or a coyote, while simultaneously Pegeen Mike. "

Liralen
07-06-2013, 08:46 AM
What if you preface it with, "I don't know?"

LA*78
07-06-2013, 08:54 AM
Would you believe I was too busy laughing at him to answer?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 08:57 AM
Forget the bad sex passage above - how can anything compete with a description like "tang of fish-slime and sawdust"?

"he knows at once that she has been with another man, and recently - faint as it is there is no mistaking that tang of fish-slime and sawdust - for he has no doubt that this is the mouth of a busy working girl. He does not mind. "

Liralen
07-06-2013, 09:03 AM
You know at some point, when I'm having to work really hard at procrastinating, I'm going to go through that list and see how many were published by major publishing companies, right?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 09:03 AM
Do I sense a new game thread forming?

There are major authors there, Jonathan Franzen has been nominated a few times, Rowling's adult book got a nomination too.

LA*78
07-06-2013, 09:07 AM
You know that feeling when you're watching a bad train wreck but just can't look away? (http://www.literaryreview.co.uk/badsexpassages.html)

LA*78
07-06-2013, 09:13 AM
Oh, can I have a new favourite?

" Meanwhile, down in Vaginaland, Mr Condom's beginning to feel a bit iffy. "

Liralen
07-06-2013, 09:14 AM
Did anyone notice that Tom Wolfe was on there?

But he's likely to have written it completely tongue in . . . cheek. Or somewhere.

LA*78
07-06-2013, 09:23 AM
Do you think his tongue was licking it licking it licking it?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 09:31 AM
Does anyone else agree with LA that this is the best passage, "Meanwhile, down in Vaginaland, Mr Condom's beginning to feel a bit iffy. He's overheating. For some reason, the shagging seems to be twice as fast this evening, and he grimaces as he gets flung willy-nilly in and out of the pink tunnel. He starts getting friction burns, hanging onto Bobby's stiff penis for dear life, headbutting Georgie's cervix at 180 beats per minute. 'Help me!' he yells in the darkness, feeling himself melting. The sex only seems to be getting faster though, and Mr Condom squeezes his eyes shut as Bobby groans and the friction starts getting unbearable and Mr Condom thinks he's going to be sick and the searing pain the searing pain and Bobby groans again and suddenly squirts a gallon of white molten lava from his Jap's eye, exploding through Mr Condom's heavy reservoir end and Mr Condom screams and screams and vomits ice cream into Georgie's vagina. Shivering and spasming, Bobby suddenly feels the endorphins kick in and he falls onto the carpet with a happy bump."?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 09:34 AM
Shouldn't you include this bit: "They shag at double-speed: Inthekitchenthrydospoonsonthebreakfast baramongstallthecutlerytheninthebathroomtheyshower eachotherwithhotkissesandGeorgiekneels onthepisserwhileBobbydoesheruptheshittertheninthel oungtheybounceupanddownonthesofathenin thebedroomtheysqueakthespringsofthemattress."?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 09:35 AM
Would you believe Tom Wolfe won in 2004 for this passage, "Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns. Oh God, it was not just at the border where the flesh of the breast joins the pectoral sheath of the chest no, the hand was cupping her entire right - Now! She must say 'No, Hoyt' and talk to him like a dog..."?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 09:37 AM
Woof, woof?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 09:40 AM
Would you believe this one, "the vulva itself ... was of unusual plumpness, almost spherical, like a large exotic mushroom in the fork of a tree, a little pleasure dome if ever I've seen one, where Alph the sacred river ran down to a tideless sea," is from a Nobel Laureate? Yes, in literature.

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 09:43 AM
Where are WriterWho and Jehhillenberg, and do they know what they're missing out on?

LA*78
07-06-2013, 09:44 AM
Would it be wrong to say that I do believe it was written by a literary writer, because it is boring as bat poo?

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 10:01 AM
How boring is bat poo?

Liralen
07-06-2013, 06:10 PM
Is it as boring as owl shit is slick?

*there's an expression around here, "slicker'n' owl shit . . . some things don't bear too much consideration*

Drachen Jager
07-06-2013, 08:10 PM
Is owl's shit as slick as goat's cum on your doorknob?

LA*78
07-07-2013, 01:55 AM
What sick pervy section of your brain did you pull that from?

Drachen Jager
07-07-2013, 03:19 AM
Would you believe it's actually nowhere near the truly sick and pervy portion of my brain?

LA*78
07-07-2013, 03:28 AM
And why exactly was the poor goat your animal of choice?

Drachen Jager
07-07-2013, 03:49 AM
Who said it was my animal of choice?

LA*78
07-07-2013, 03:50 AM
Did someone else force you to pick the goat?

Drachen Jager
07-07-2013, 04:49 AM
Why assume I picked it at all?

LA*78
07-07-2013, 04:51 AM
Why would you claim I've made an assumption, where the evidence of your choice is right up there ^^ in your post?

Liralen
07-07-2013, 04:51 AM
Are goats distant relatives to unicorns?

LA*78
07-07-2013, 05:03 AM
Oooh, are you suggesting an incest scandal?

Liralen
07-07-2013, 05:06 AM
Are they both kinda like how some longhorn bulls are described, "all horns and balls?"

LA*78
07-07-2013, 05:07 AM
Do you think perhaps DJ misheard and thought they said "all horny balls"?

Drachen Jager
07-07-2013, 05:30 AM
You're still assuming a lot about what I said, aren't you?

LA*78
07-07-2013, 05:34 AM
How can it be an assumption if it's read literally? Why won't you answer why you chose to compare the owl slick with goat cum? Why didn't you choose another animal' excretions?

Drachen Jager
07-07-2013, 05:35 AM
You assume it was my turn of phrase though, don't you?

LA*78
07-07-2013, 05:36 AM
Did your account get hacked?

Drachen Jager
07-07-2013, 05:38 AM
You have never used an expression that wasn't unique to you on here?

LA*78
07-07-2013, 05:46 AM
Yes but isn't it my choice to type them?

Liralen
07-07-2013, 05:46 AM
Aren't you the one with the unique horn? ;)

*okay, I don't blame you for groaning, lol* :o

Steve Coate
07-07-2013, 06:02 AM
Is that what you call taking the unicorn by the horn?

Jehhillenberg
07-07-2013, 04:19 PM
Sooo the new saying is "Mess with the unicorn, you get the horn?"


Ouch :D

WriterWho
07-07-2013, 06:55 PM
Wouldn't the horn be too much for most?



(seriously. i step away for a bit, and have to read back multiple page to catch up. yanno, 'cause the unicorn is back. and what's up with owl crack?)



*hehehehe* Catch what I did there? Crack? Ha!

Drachen Jager
07-07-2013, 09:43 PM
Do you think it's that impressive?

Liralen
07-07-2013, 10:21 PM
The horn or the crack?

Drachen Jager
07-07-2013, 10:38 PM
Do you expect me to believe you don't know the answer?

Liralen
07-07-2013, 10:45 PM
Wasn't your previous question rather ambiguous?

LA*78
07-08-2013, 04:21 AM
Are we over crack'n' horn jokes yet?

captain_ryan
07-08-2013, 04:56 AM
Did someone say crack whorin'?

LA*78
07-08-2013, 05:04 AM
Is that what caught your attention?

captain_ryan
07-08-2013, 05:17 AM
What, you think your witty repartee alone would do the trick?

LA*78
07-08-2013, 05:19 AM
You think my repartee is witty?

captain_ryan
07-08-2013, 05:21 AM
Did I forget the "t" at the beginning?

LA*78
07-08-2013, 05:24 AM
Is that your version of witty?

Liralen
07-08-2013, 05:24 AM
Did you mean to type "twat" instead of "what?"

captain_ryan
07-08-2013, 05:25 AM
Was "twitty" not in the gutter enough for you?

Liralen
07-08-2013, 05:27 AM
For me, perhaps, but don't you know it's a little difficult to follow you to the depths where you're comfortable? ;)