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View Full Version : Seeking Beta Readers for YA Sci-Fi Romance w/ Adventure/Action & a little Murder Mystery



Cephyr13
08-28-2012, 03:35 PM
The Forsaken - Winter's Edge is Book 1 of 3
124,740 words - 467 pages
PG or PG13 rating: Violence and very mild language


Blurb
Ian Sharp isn't your typical teen. He has supernatural powers that manifest when he's angry or scared—and he can't control them. On the last day of high school, Ian's powers are exposed and he's run out of town by hunters seeking to turn him into a weapon or a laboratory experiment for the government. On the run, Ian unwittingly ends up in an underground city in the mountains of Denver—a sanctuary for people with powers—where he meets the only person there without powers—Abby Swanson. Soon, murder and a plot by the hunters to find and take down the hidden city will threaten to tear Abby & Ian apart and destroy the city.

Blurbs aren't my strong suit, but hopefully that will suffice. This novel equally as much a romance as it is a sci-fi. I haven't received any bad reviews from beta readers yet--all seem to like it so far. It is currently in its second-draft state, and after the next round of beta readers critiques come in and I adjust a few things from their comments, it will be in final-draft form and I'll send it to agents. It is told through the eyes of Ian Sharp and Abby Swanson.

I'm in need of beta readers, hopefully teens and young adults since that's my core audience. I'd like general feedback on story line, plots, voices, characters, etc. If you have suggestions for additions to plot lines or any parts of the story, I'm very open to hearing them and possibly adjusting the story line. If teen girls would give their suggestions on the voice of the female POV character, I'd appreciate that. I've been told by most that they like her voice, but I still think I could improve on her and make her voice more unique with more character.

Grammar and syntax are strengths for me, so there aren't too many mistakes (though you're welcome to point them out if you cross them).

Thanks so much for any help you can provide. Email me if you'd like a copy of the MS.

- Brian
cephyr13@yahoo.com

Maryn
08-28-2012, 07:12 PM
Hello, Brian, and a pleasure to meet you.

While I truly hope you get a volunteer who's happy to do you this large favor, I'm going to refer you to a post which will at first piss you off, then sink in, and ultimately may turn your beta search into something which is terrific and more rewarding than you'd dared hope.

Please bear in mind that when I wrote this, I was particularly frustrated with requests--sometimes even personal requests sent to me individually--for beta reads from people I didn't know.

Kind of like yours. I bet you're a great person, but at this point, you're a stranger here with his or her hand out.

So without further ado: Why I Won't Beta Read Your Novel (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=212171).

Maryn, genuinely pleased to welcome you here

Cephyr13
08-28-2012, 08:59 PM
Hello, Brian, and a pleasure to meet you.
Maryn, genuinely pleased to welcome you here

Thanks for the advice. I've critiqued two SYW chapters thus far and plan to rack up most of my first 50 posts there. I feel a bit useless unless I am working/contributing in some fashion. I'll attempt to post in one or two other places, but I tend to feel like I'm wasting my working time when I get into too many discussions such as those. Can't show you my work, as you know, until I hit the first 50 posts, and in the SYW critique forum, doing line-by-line critiques, that could take a while unless I get snared into a few chatty threads elsewhere.

You've inspired me to write a new character in the second book in my series. I'll have someone who's bluntly honest and seemingly cruel at first, but who has a good heart, is a good friend, and will help in a pinch. Sounds like a good, layered character to me for some comic relief. :) And I mean no offense by that. I like bluntly honest people. I'll even name the character Maryn, however, it'll be a male, because I thought you were a male, due to your avatar picture, until I reached the end of your linked post. :) Hope that's not a problem.

Thanks again!

- Brian

Maryn
08-29-2012, 12:09 AM
Not at all, since Maryn isn't my actual name. (I once had an online stalker of the dangerous variety, and never put my real name out there ever since.)

I'm also pleased to see you plan to 'earn' your critiques by contributing in SYW. You certainly don't have to get all your posts there--come on by Ray's House of Love in Office Party if you just want to hang out with pleasant people. We can always use another towel boy at the hot tub.

The avatar is Charlie Chaplin's Little Tramp--I was recently traveling. Now that I'm back, I should change it. Decisions, decisions...

Maryn, who is not often this blunt, does have a good heart, is a pretty decent friend, and will gladly help in a pinch

Cephyr13
08-29-2012, 03:00 AM
Well, I'm not much for hanging out on forums just to chat. I feel like I'm wasting time I could be using writing or critiquing. So, I stick to critiquing while I'm here, if possible, for the most part, anyway.

Thanks for the intro and welcome. Good to meet ya', and thanks for the character template. :)

- Brian