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gettingby
08-23-2012, 11:03 PM
Are writers lonely people? I feel like sometimes I send more time with the people I make up than actual people. Also, I don't have much going on other than writing. I am just not a very outgoing person. I applied to take an MFA class just mainly so I would get out of the house. I find out next week if I get in. So I am trying to do something about it, but are writers generally lonely people? What do you think?

mccardey
08-23-2012, 11:06 PM
are writers generally lonely people? What do you think?

Lonely, or solitary? I'm sometimes fairly solitary. Not that that bothers me.

Ton Lew Lepsnaci
08-23-2012, 11:07 PM
If there is a writers' group in your area, you might join it. I went to a few before I found the right one and I've made some great friends through writing.

Alpha Echo
08-23-2012, 11:12 PM
No, I don't feel lonely. I like to be alone. I desperately need my alone time, but there's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I'm not really outgoing, but I'm happy with my few close friends and my family.

Everyone's different, but I'm sorry you sometimes feel lonely. I guess I did before I met my husband. Even during my first marriage. But now, I don't.

Do you live alone?

Shadow_Ferret
08-23-2012, 11:23 PM
I hate people so Ive never felt lonely. :D

Mclesh
08-23-2012, 11:33 PM
I think mccardey makes a good distinction with the use of the word "solitary." Writing is a solitary activity. It's not like we're doing it with a group. (I mean, not usually.) :)

My day job is as a freelance court reporter, which is also very solitary in that I'm working with new people all of the time and only for a few hours. It's not the kind of work where I'm forging deep connections usually, they're more superficial and transitory.

It does really help to have a significant other or good friend to talk to. Over the years, I've made friends online, and that helps too, having regular interactions with others.

Good luck with the class. I think it sounds like a good opportunity for you to be around other people and get out of the house, maybe make a new friend or two.

Susan Littlefield
08-23-2012, 11:36 PM
Are writers lonely people? I feel like sometimes I send more time with the people I make up than actual people. Also, I don't have much going on other than writing. I am just not a very outgoing person. I applied to take an MFA class just mainly so I would get out of the house. I find out next week if I get in. So I am trying to do something about it, but are writers generally lonely people? What do you think?

A yes or no answer would be a generalization, and generalizations never fit any group of people.

No matter what you do, job or hobby, it's important to have a life, to get out of the house and interact with people. People need people.

As for myself, during the week I spend a lot of time after work at home writing, watching, TV, and even turn in early so I can go to the gym first thing in the morning. My weekends are spent with my beau, and we often go to outings, parties, whatever. In fact, this weekend, we have two parties- a family birthday bash and a Jack London bash.

Anninyn
08-23-2012, 11:42 PM
No more than anyone else, I think.

But I'm not the most social of people. I mean, I like parties, and seeing friends, and all that stuff, but I like it on my terms and I can take it or leave it. I'm a pretty distant person, even with people I love. Awfully selfish, too.

So no, I don't think I am. Very rarely, at any rate. I have my moments, but I suppose everyone does.

gothicangel
08-23-2012, 11:47 PM
My day job is being a chef, so I have to be quite sociable with colleagues and customers. Trust me, if you leave a plate of freshly baked shortbread in the staffroom, you will not be lonely! [its nice to put a smile on people's faces too. :)]

I think now I am in my thirties, I am a lot more outgoing and sociable than I used to. I think university and working in tourism made a great difference.

I do love going for walks/research trips on Hadrian's Wall. You just start talking to complete strangers.

juniper
08-23-2012, 11:47 PM
I echo the suggestion about finding a writers group, for critique or for social or both. They'll understand a lot of your dilemmas and also will understand if you don't show up for a few weeks.

And the MFA will get you among similar people and just onto campus, which I always find fun. Colleges have a creative energy just always humming along. And there's usually some concert or seminar or gallery show or something going on, where you can just be around some other people, without having to interact with them much.

LadyV
08-23-2012, 11:49 PM
Sometimes I feel lonely. It usually hits when I want to do something, but have no one to do it with. I have a few friends, but two I only see on occasion because they live at least an hour away, and the one that's local just isn't all that fun. I do work in a large store, so I get plenty of social interaction there, but being around so many people, both coworkers and customers, I require alone time afterwards. But too much isn't good either.

thothguard51
08-23-2012, 11:52 PM
Lets see, two X-wives, a current live-in GF, 2 adult kids, 2 adult god kids, 6 grand children, other relatives, and a handful of close friends. Nope, don't feel lonely at all. But, I do enjoy my solitude at time, even if I am not writing.

Chasing the Horizon
08-23-2012, 11:52 PM
I'm solitary too, but like so many others I prefer it that way. If I wanted to be around people, then I wouldn't have chosen a career path that makes me spend 95% of my time alone. But that's exactly what I've always wanted. I'm very happy alone.

SeaGlass
08-24-2012, 01:06 AM
I think the class is a good idea! Maybe also try writing at quiet coffee shops, or libraries, so that you are around other people?
I'm not very outgoing either, and I know what you mean about feeling lonely and needing to get out of the house. That's actually why I don't want to be a full time writer- I need to be around other people.

benbenberi
08-24-2012, 01:09 AM
My head is full of imaginary people - how could I possibly be lonely? :)

KellyAssauer
08-24-2012, 01:32 AM
hmmm... that's a tough one.

I always thought that I preferred to be solitary... but it's possible that this is a rationalization that I've made due to my agoraphobia.

I'm not good with crowds at all, and outgoing personalities make me run and hide. It might be true that I want more people around me in real life, but having more people around me makes me nervous and edgy. I do have a nice shiny box full of people here at fingertips that I can make go away at any time... but yeah, if I add it all up, yes, sometimes I am lonely - and this time of year often amplifies that feeling. The trick for me, is trying to figure out which is worse, dealing with the loneliness, or dealing with people. So many times I don't bother at all trying to deal with either and just go back to writing. =)

Raventongue
08-24-2012, 01:53 AM
I am far from a solitary person and I don't think writing necessarily needs to be a solitary habit at all. Nor do lone-wolf writers have any advantage over more sociable folks in the trade.

You can be solitary and still write, but you do not have to be lonely to write. I imagine your productivity in writing would eventually suffer if you sacrificed human contact you wanted.

What do you care about? Look at your writing; chances are you've got a topic in there you're passionate about. Do something in the real world that relates to that, and you will meet people who like you. For example, I help out with various forms of political action. You sure as hell don't have to do that- if, say, you find that you really value entertainment, then entertain! Take up improv or, if you don't feel adventurous enough for that, cultivate your fun-based conversational skills.

I'm very sociable, very open about the fact that I like people, and as a result, though I get lonely very easily, I have rarely ever been lonely. I make a concerted effort to avoid people who are particularly selfish, and tend to keep away from solitary-by-choice people to a degree (it would probably be cruel of me not to :tongue).

I take a notebook with me everywhere and perhaps you could try that. I like to have my hands free, so it goes in a my pants pocket. My notebooks have been handled, borrowed, returned, written in, read from, and inquired about by every kind of person in this city and I consider my writing to be enriched for it.

EarlyBird
08-24-2012, 02:04 AM
I'm a solitary person--definite introvert--but am not lonely. I love being alone but rarely get the opportunity with my little critters around all day.

My dream would be to check into a hotel all by myself for the weekend and speak to no one. Aah...heaven.

KellyAssauer
08-24-2012, 02:05 AM
...and tend to keep away from solitary-by-choice people to a degree (it would probably be cruel of me not to :tongue).


Thank you for this.
I can't begin to tell you how much this means to me.

:tongue

NeuroFizz
08-24-2012, 02:17 AM
I think a serious study would likely find that writers come from the same cross-section of socioeconomic backgrounds, and the same cross-section of personality types as any other occupation that requires a reasonable measure of intelligence.

Persei
08-24-2012, 02:30 AM
Well, I suppose I am more alone than most people my age. Everyone complains about me not having a boyfriend when everyone else does, but I don't want it because I would have less time to stay on my own :D

But I am not lonely. I am a delightful company to myself, and my laptop is very enjoyable to talk to. Some people have troubles understanding this...

If being alone bothers you, then find people who like the same things you do. Find a group, as everyone above said. Writing or whatever else you like.

LindaJeanne
08-24-2012, 03:03 AM
I am an introvert. But I'm not lonely.

I enjoy my time alone. I also enjoy spending time with my significant other, my friends, and my extended family.

If you are lonely and worried that it may not be purely due to external causes, it might be worthwhile to get screened for clinical depression. I've suffered from it in the past, so I know how insidious it can be, masquerading as other things.

Just a thought to consider. Otherwise, I second the advice others have given: find a writing group. Find meetups for things you enjoy -- whether writing or your other interests.

Everyone has different levels of comfort for spending time with others vs spending time alone, and this is healthy. But feeling lonely all the time is not.

It's good that you're putting the effort out to make connections with people. :).

Beachgirl
08-24-2012, 04:47 AM
I'm not lonely or solitary. I'm actually very outgoing. I work around people all day and I come home to a house with four other people and five dogs. What I wouldn't give for some alone time every now and then!

I agree with the advice to find a way to interact with other people. Join a fitness center, find a church group (if you're into church), take group tours of museums, volunteer with a charity, etc. Meeting lots of people from various walks of life can be a great way to get inspiration for characters.

VanessaNorth
08-24-2012, 05:04 AM
Nope. I have four year old twins, i pray for time alone.

Stacia Kane
08-24-2012, 05:17 AM
I'm not lonely because I spend most of my time alone. I like being alone. I love being alone. I crave alone time. I get cranky if I don't get it.

Where I'm lonely is that I have to constantly be on guard and watch what I say, and I have very, very few people to confide in, and I've been burned more than once by people I thought were trustworthy who it turned out were reporting everything I said back to the world at large (not gossip about people or anything, just talking about things). Where I'm lonely is feeling that I can't discuss anything that bothers me, upsets me, happens to me, how I feel about things, etc., because I'll be attacked or viewed as "unprofessional" or made fun of. It's happened too many times.

I'm happy to be alone. It's fun to be alone. It's not so much fun to be alone in a crowd of people, and feel like they're all waiting for you to slip up.

butterfly
08-24-2012, 05:34 AM
There are many lonely people in the world and not all fall under the category of "writers". Some are alone by choice and some because life is easier that way, again, a choice.

You will find what you need in people when you need to. Otherwise, don't worry about what the rest of the world is doing because things aren't always as charming as they seem. Be yourself, be content, get to know yourself. Give yourself the gift of you and don't be afraid of what you learn.

jaksen
08-24-2012, 03:14 PM
Nope. I have four year old twins, i pray for time alone.


I'm with you. Don't have twins, but have three kids, one grandson and another arriving any day now. Also a fairly needy mother with dementia, a husband who wants a big piece of my time and other family members with their own needs, wants, demands.

I sometimes wonder that I ended up this way, with all these people. I prefer to be alone. (I don't hate people; I love people.) But I also love to be alone.

I think you'll find writers who are introverts, extroverts and everything in-between, but yes we all spend time alone because that's how one writes. (When writing is a team effort, it rarely comes out well. Witness how horrible most textbooks turn out.) I tried working with another writer once, just for one short story. Big mistake. We argued and fought and drifted apart.

Anyhow, being alone is normal for a writer. Being lonely not so much. If you feel lonely, add a little social activity to your routine - something so small as walking through an art or science museum now and then might give you the social activity you (might) need. In fact I love museums - being with people, but not having to associate with them. Wandering around through rooms, pausing where I want, sitting and taking notes where I want and if I want. Being largely left alone, yet being in the company of others.

ccarver30
08-24-2012, 03:33 PM
I'm with Stacia on this one. I like being alone. I lived alone for yearrrsss and now I am married with two stepsons (part time). As for writing, I like having noise or music on- I cannot write in silence. I used to go to a busy Starbucks all the time to write and usually got so much done. I find the noisier it is, the better I write.

itsmary
08-25-2012, 05:59 AM
I'm usually alone, but rarely lonely. Sometimes I detest living in a world that doesn't seem to value people who like being alone. But that's just the way things go.

Undercover
08-25-2012, 07:48 AM
Kinda was forced to be alone (since my kids are older now and have their own lives, (one's in college and the other in high school) so I entertained myself by writing. But I would get lonely if I didn't have the internet. Other then that, I like being alone and creating new worlds. That's the only place I have total and complete control of. The real world? Nah, I'd rather stay at home instead of being out there.

Kitty27
08-25-2012, 09:27 AM
I would cut a bitch for the opportunity to have uninterrupted solitude.

My house is a zoo. Four kids,a crazy tree climbing cat,a Pekingese diva,and a mother who insists on cleaning every available surface. Plus three brothers who pop up every day with their assorted significant others and children. Sometimes,I sit in my living room and giggle madly in the midst of chaos.

Why?

Because I want to flee from this mob! Literary greatness cannot be disturbed continuously in this manner,you know. Family and friends tend not to take writing as seriously as we do and as a result,will interrupt you with no guilt. Even though you told their behinds to leave you alone. Repeatedly.

If you are lonely and feel as though your solitude-that I am blatantly hating on you for having- is bothersome, come to my house. You will run screaming into the street,barking mad and making for your peaceful lair with all the speed you can muster.

For me,it's not a question of being lonely.My house is Grand Central Station. It's a question of when can I be alone. As in moments of absolute quiet,a time when my ideas and thoughts that are gestating can truly be born. An environment where I can truly get into my writing and let whatever beautiful lunacy I create flow to the keyboard. I write best in a quiet atmosphere,which means I must keep hours like a vampire and write at night when the house is finally quiet.

Some people are alone by choice. They like their own space and solitude. Nothing wrong with that. But if someone is alone due to shyness or other issues,I see how that can be excruciating. I hope that the boisterous asylum,ahem,AW forums and posters can alleviate that a bit.

Stacia Kane
08-25-2012, 06:07 PM
I would cut a bitch for the opportunity to have uninterrupted solitude.

My house is a zoo. Four kids,a crazy tree climbing cat,a Pekingese diva,and a mother who insists on cleaning every available surface. Plus three brothers who pop up every day with their assorted significant others and children. Sometimes,I sit in my living room and giggle madly in the midst of chaos.

Why?

Because I want to flee from this mob! Literary greatness cannot be disturbed continuously in this manner,you know. Family and friends tend not to take writing as seriously as we do and as a result,will interrupt you with no guilt. Even though you told their behinds to leave you alone. Repeatedly.

If you are lonely and feel as though your solitude-that I am blatantly hating on you for having- is bothersome, come to my house. You will run screaming into the street,barking mad and making for your peaceful lair with all the speed you can muster.

For me,it's not a question of being lonely.My house is Grand Central Station. It's a question of when can I be alone. As in moments of absolute quiet,a time when my ideas and thoughts that are gestating can truly be born. An environment where I can truly get into my writing and let whatever beautiful lunacy I create flow to the keyboard. I write best in a quiet atmosphere,which means I must keep hours like a vampire and write at night when the house is finally quiet.

Some people are alone by choice. They like their own space and solitude. Nothing wrong with that. But if someone is alone due to shyness or other issues,I see how that can be excruciating. I hope that the boisterous asylum,ahem,AW forums and posters can alleviate that a bit.


1. I miss out on sleep so I can work at night while everyone else is in bed. It's pretty normal for me to only sleep five or six hours a night during the week.

2. I go for drives by myself; at the weekends I insist on going to the grocery store alone, for example, just to gain a little solitude, and I take the longest route or just aimlessly wander around before I get there. Sometimes when I'm making dinner I kick everyone out of the kitchen for the same reason (and I do some of my best plotting etc. while cooking, driving, or showering).

Ruth2
08-25-2012, 06:27 PM
The last time I felt lonely was when I was by myself a week ago in a very foreign country, with a phone that wouldn't work, miles to walk before I got to my room and the prospect of no contact with anyone I knew for 24 hours. And I still thought how awesome this would be for the book if I could ever get out of the emotional tailspin. (Everything's grist for the mill, right?) (And it ended up being over a thousand words of awesomeness.)

But before that? I can't remember. Maybe high school.

lilyWhite
08-25-2012, 09:40 PM
I'm not a lonely person. It is true that my circle of real-life friends is pretty small, and not getting any bigger. But I do have a lot of friends to chat with online, a girlfriend who I'm happily engaged to, and her and my parents who I love to hang around with. I wouldn't say I'm a very sociable person, but I do get to socialize every so often.

butterfly
08-26-2012, 10:47 PM
I'm usually alone, but rarely lonely. Sometimes I detest living in a world that doesn't seem to value people who like being alone. But that's just the way things go.

Agreed. Also have given up trying to figure out why. Sometimes I think they're jealous but usually I think they think we're lying. I don't much care anymore, I'm content with my aloneness when I can get it.

Kitty27
08-26-2012, 11:19 PM
1. I miss out on sleep so I can work at night while everyone else is in bed. It's pretty normal for me to only sleep five or six hours a night during the week.

2. I go for drives by myself; at the weekends I insist on going to the grocery store alone, for example, just to gain a little solitude, and I take the longest route or just aimlessly wander around before I get there. Sometimes when I'm making dinner I kick everyone out of the kitchen for the same reason (and I do some of my best plotting etc. while cooking, driving, or showering).


I am right there with you. I can only really work at night.

If I start driving away from my family,I may wind up in Miami. The level of noise and crazy at my house is unbelievable!

KDDante
08-27-2012, 02:55 AM
For me I guess I can say that I am both lonely and not lonely. I live alone with my kitty. I have a girlfriend, but she lives 2500 miles away (long story). I do have friends and some family left. But I do get lonely. Not to say it's a bad thing, I love my solitude. I guess, I'm too 'unique' for some people to understand. ;) LOL

KTC
08-27-2012, 03:07 PM
Are writers lonely people? I feel like sometimes I send more time with the people I make up than actual people. Also, I don't have much going on other than writing. I am just not a very outgoing person. I applied to take an MFA class just mainly so I would get out of the house. I find out next week if I get in. So I am trying to do something about it, but are writers generally lonely people? What do you think?

Not in my town. Unless we want to be. We have a thriving writing community here. There are over 300 people in the writing circle I belong to (www.wcdr.org (http://www.wcdr.org)). There are always events going on--workshops, readings, book launches, monthly breakfast meetings with guest speakers from the publishing community, smaller writing groups that meet weekly/monthly for critigue groups or on-the-spot writing. We are a close-knit writing family and the only time one of us is lonely is if we stop participating in the events around us. I am extremely lucky to live where I live. I'm guessing it's the best writing community in the world, but I may be biased.

Ken
08-27-2012, 03:48 PM
... "lonely?" Probably just another of those stupid stereotypes to add to the list. For every lonely writer out there there is another or many another who is a social butterfly. My 2-cent supposition. Feel free to disagree.

crunchyblanket
08-27-2012, 04:18 PM
I'm mostly solitary, but I live with my husband, his parents and demanding diva-sister, five cats, three dogs and a rabbit, plus a little old nonna who comes by a few times a week for a gossip, so....alone time is in short supply. Plus, I have three jobs (medical lab assistant by day, nursing assistant by night, admin at the weekends) By the end of it all, I long for a cave in the Highlands and a hessian sack to wear.

mccardey
08-27-2012, 04:20 PM
... "lonely?" Probably just another of those stupid stereotypes to add to the list. For every lonely writer out there there is another or many another who is a social butterfly. My 2-cent supposition. Feel free to disagree.

+1 :)

All these stereotypes. Aren't writers just people who, yanno, write stuff?

bearilou
08-27-2012, 04:40 PM
I have my dog. I'm never lonely.

In seriousness, I'm solitary by nature and gravitate to the lowest energy state of alone time. When I need companionship that petting my dog doesn't give me, I seek it out. I'm blessed that my family and friends (mostly) understand my need for alone time.

Then again, I get down right bitchy when it's infringed upon and I didn't invite it. :/

B.G. Dobbins
09-24-2012, 04:56 AM
I have always been the type to prefer small groups or solitude, but I don't feel lonely. I am married and enjoy spending time with my close knit group of people, but I like to have my space, too. On the other hand, many of the avid writers I know in real life are pretty outgoing, but there are those who keep to themselves, as well. There is nothing wrong with either preference. I am sorry you feel lonely :(

DragonHeart
09-24-2012, 07:14 PM
I don't think of myself as a lonely person, though I do occasionally feel lonely. But then, I think most everyone does at some point or another. I'm no social butterfly but I'm not a total hermit either, though sometimes I wish I was. I simply require a lot more solitary time than most people. I still go out and do things with friends, just not daily or even weekly. And being at home doesn't mean being alone either, as I am part of multiple online communities. Really, friends are never far away, when I wish to seek them out. I do think sometimes I really should get out and do more, though. I don't really count work or school as being social, though of course I do have friends there. It's just not an environment really conducive to social activities.

CaroGirl
09-24-2012, 07:23 PM
Well, seeing as I'm never alone, no. I'm not lonely. I have a husband, two kids, a full-time job, and next week my elderly mother moves in. I feel like I'll never be alone again.

I used to wish for alone time desperately, but now I think I'm used to it. I also have a writers' group that meets once a month that lets me talk about writing to other writers. And that's always awesome.

What do you enjoy doing? Do you play a sport, have a hobby? Join a group that engages in an activity you're interested in. I like to cook so I belong to 3 distinct gourmet groups. But you could join a community writers' group or book club. Take a set of group music lessons.

If you live anywhere close to decent-sized community, you probably have lots of options.

August Talok
09-24-2012, 08:04 PM
I wish I could find alone time. Then my WIP would get done.

coolkayaker1
09-24-2012, 09:20 PM
I'd like to be alone.

Laura HK
09-24-2012, 09:28 PM
I'm usually alone, but rarely lonely. Sometimes I detest living in a world that doesn't seem to value people who like being alone. But that's just the way things go.

I think it's not necessarily a matter of value so much as some people are jealous.

I spent a good chunk of my twenties living and traveling abroad--single for most of the time--and my sister had a hard time with it. She eventually voiced this too (she had three young sons at the time), letting me know she was jealous because she rarely had an hour to herself, yet I would travel for weeks by myself. She loved her husband and children, but sometimes wished for a weekend alone. Other married friends/parents have voiced similar things to me in the past too.

Now, I adapt as needed. I work at a small non-profit--there's only my boss and I--and when it's the slow time of year (now, actually), I spend a lot of time alone. I like it. But when things speed up and we have various business trips, requiring a lot of small talk/socializing, I like that too.

We've been sold this idea (in America, anyways) that you must ALWAYS be social, ALWAYS get married and ALWAYS have children or you're a loser. Yet, surprise surprise, it doesn't have to be that way. :)

dangerousbill
09-24-2012, 09:56 PM
I applied to take an MFA class just mainly so I would get out of the house.


That's an awfully expensive way to make friends, and depending on the format of the course, it may not succeed anyway. An ordinary writing class will help you track down fellow writers. Are there no critique or writers' groups in your area? Have you checked meetup.com ? Have you considered forming a writers' group yourself?

I've just come back from the wedding of the daughter of one of my writing group members. I've known this group for eight years. I'm not lonely.

Some writers are lonely people, but I don't think it's a prerequisite. In fact, you have to get out and study people and interact with them to be able to write about them.

Lyxdeslic
09-24-2012, 10:22 PM
Hmm...

I'd say I'm alone, as in, alone in my worldview, but not lonely.

What I find works best to stave off loneliness is to be as open and honest as you can be, with others but mainly yourself.

Doesn't always work, but it's an admirable guideline.

Lyx

L.Blake
09-24-2012, 10:26 PM
I like the solitude of writing. I NEED solitude. I'm not a social butterfly and that's fine with me. I'm not a lonely person. I don't feel that I am missing out by not having a ton of friends and a busy calendar.

L.

blacbird
09-24-2012, 10:38 PM
Isn't everybody?

caw

GiantRampagingPencil
09-24-2012, 10:50 PM
I sense from the responses that there is a higher proportion of introverts among writers than the pop. at large. Maybe it has something to do with the required solitude and a high level of (or over?) sensitivity.

Another introvert here. (Probably why I feel so at home on this site.) But I do need to get out from time to time or I start to go as weird as that sludgy stuff you get when you leave lettuce in the fridge too long.

And if I didn't have my wife and daughter, I probably would be lonely.

randi.lee
09-25-2012, 12:23 AM
My characters are better friends to me than most of the people I know...so, sure, I'm a loner. Wouldn't say I'm lonely, though.

Maze Runner
09-25-2012, 12:24 AM
Funny thing is, I'm probably at my least lonely when I'm writing. I have the company of the people of my choosing, my characters. And I can make them think and do and say the things that I want. It is a perfect world.

But is there something about the solitude of a writer's life that can be troubling? I think so. If I didn't have to live in the real world from time to time I think I'd become a little peculiar, at least by "their" standards.

That said, am I lonely? Er, em, uh, why do you ask?

buz
09-25-2012, 12:28 AM
I sense from the responses that there is a higher proportion of introverts among writers than the pop. at large. Maybe it has something to do with the required solitude and a high level of (or over?) sensitivity.


Extroverts are energized, enlivened, kept sane by the external; introverts by the internal. Both need some of each, but the balance is tipped towards one or the other, usually. Introverts are all about inner life--inner worlds. Makes perfect sense for a lot of them to be writers...;)

MoLoLu
09-25-2012, 02:12 PM
Introverted but not lonely. Okay, there are those odd moments but those usually last as long as it takes to write a text and get a response. In almost all other cases, I prefer solitude, quiet and calm over constant activity. Though, from time to time, my mind goes into 'must do something normal' mode and I actually, well, see people.

RookieWriter
09-26-2012, 11:01 AM
Are writers lonely people? I feel like sometimes I send more time with the people I make up than actual people. Also, I don't have much going on other than writing. I am just not a very outgoing person. I applied to take an MFA class just mainly so I would get out of the house. I find out next week if I get in. So I am trying to do something about it, but are writers generally lonely people? What do you think?

Yes. Very much so.

Jamesaritchie
09-26-2012, 09:01 PM
I don't think loneliness has much to do with being around people, or spending time alone. Most of the lonely people I know are lonely in a crowd, lonely when they're with friends, etc. They're lonely because they don't have the special relationships they need.

For me, writing means more time around people I want to be with, not less. Unless I'm on a tight deadline, I only write five hours per day, five days per week, and no commute time. Most people with nine to five jobs are working many more hours than I do.

I also get out of the house a heck of a lot more than most people I know. If there's something I want to do, I go do it, and move my writing hours forward or backward to accommodate my wants.

But loneliness, at least for me, has nothing to do with writing. I've spent almost two months in the wilderness without seeing another person, and wasn't lonely for a second. But I can remember being young and very lonely, even in a room full of friends.

Vito
09-27-2012, 03:48 AM
Lonely, no. Introverted, solitary, guarded, and a little reclusive, maybe. When it all comes down to it, I seriously dig my "alone time", the moments of day or night that I get a chance to read or write.

It probably has something to do with the fact that I grew up in a house jam-packed full of people: mom and pop, six kids, and my moody but chatty grandma. (That's not even counting our very bossy dachsund, who was even moodier and chattier than my grandma). Loud TV in the living room, loud record players and AM radios blaring in my older siblings' rooms, loud New York-accented voices at the dinner table, and so on. When I was a kid it really got on my nerves, even though I was only just a tiny bit less noisy than the rest of the family members.

So I've always loved doing my own quiet thing, in my own quiet way. Although right now my stereo is crankin' up the first album by the MC5. Ain't nothing quiet about the MC5, that's for sure!

CrystalCierlak
09-27-2012, 03:53 AM
I like being alone. Technically I'm not because I live with my boyfriend, but apart from that I'm kind of a homebody. My bf is always asking me when the last time I went outside was and it gets a little irritating. When I'm tired of my personal space I'll go outside. Otherwise why would I leave something I spend hundreds of dollars a month on to live in?

Al Stevens
09-27-2012, 04:32 AM
I'm going to Hooter's tonight. Feel sorry for me.

kkbe
09-27-2012, 05:24 AM
Al Stevens:
I'm going to Hooter's tonight. Feel sorry for me.

Nope. Not gonna, can't make me.

I'm usually not lonely at all. I usually like being by myself, no problem with it. In fact, I usually prefer solitude. Usually.

But lately. . .heck, right now. . .

Hooters, huh?

EDIT: I'm editing everything lately, it seems like. This edit is to say publically, I was kidding. I know, who cares. Apparently, I do. No, I shan't be going to Hooters, nor even consider going to Hooters. Alas, the hour is late. I shan't be going anywhere.

Ken
09-27-2012, 05:53 AM
I'm going to Hooter's tonight. Feel sorry for me.

.. bring a book and read. That's what I do when I go someplace I don't want to be.